...unhinged...

Ill fated adventures at the asian market: Part 2

2012-01-27T09:57:00.006-05:00

So last night, I decided to go to my favorite place for Assorted Guts - T&T, the Asian grocery store, that I have certainly blogged about before.

It was just Chinese New Year on the 23rd, and so i figured i'd go hit up some of the after sales - i like red, and its the year of the dragon - which my Chinese client ASSURED me that it would also be a prosperous year for the snake (me).

Instead of buying fun and festive, I bought food. My favorite spicy noodles, sushi, and thai shrimp crackers for my neices who love them. But - when you have those, you need the delish peanut sauce to go with them. Having a hard time finding it, I stopped the nearest person who worked there and the conversation is as follows:

Me: Do you have peanut sauce
He:(in the thickest accent possible) Peanisauce...
Me: yea, peaNUT (with the emphasis on NUT because you never know what other cultures might find delicious - no pun intended)
He: Ohhhh Penis - here.

he walks, I follow. He stops, I stop.

He: Penisauce....Frozen?
Me: yes, PeaNUT - its frozen?

He turns towards the soy sauce scans the shelves and looks at me

He: PENIS?
Me: PeaNUT - like peanut butter?
He: Yes. Penis. I never hear before.

And he proceeds to walk me to the aisle with all of the sauces, and says "Penis. I never hear before. bye bye now"

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

Sigh. Im dumber than i thought.....

2012-01-07T09:51:00.003-05:00

...my LSAT marks came in on Thursday.

So much for law school.

The test is ranked and scored between 120 -180 points. You have to get 160 to be competative in applying to law schools.

I got 140. Not a great score, but not the worst score either. And as you all know, I didnt want to really be a lawyer, I just wanted an option. I kind of felt like this was it. Turns out i was wrong. But Im happier not applying to law school. I'd rather save 100K then spend it on something i wasnt sure I wanted anyway.

But what REALLY upset me was not only did I not do well on the test. I got in the LOWEST 10th percentile of all test takers. 90% of the people who wrote that test did better than I did....Stupid bell curve.

its a universal test - and 50 million people could have written it on Dec. 3. 100 million could have written it. I dont know. Every test center in Ontario was full except Windsor, and Thunder Bay, which is why i went to buffalo.

Oh well - my personal policy is to be miserable, and feel sorry for myself about things like this for 48 hours tops. And that 48 hours is over.

Moving on to bigger and better (and less expensive) things.

Phone apps and the friendships they destroy...

2012-01-02T14:42:00.009-05:00

As you all know I upgraded my dinosaur phone in August and got an iPhone. Just last week I got an email from a friend suggesting I download "Words with Friends" onto my phone so me and him could play back and forth. It was the first app I ever got.

I don't like to pat myself on the back - but I'm smart. I know a lot of words and have a broad vocabulary and therefore proceed to DESTROY my friend each game by over 100 points.

This current game I hit a triple word score in the middle of a word with a letter that I added to ANOTHER word - and got TWS for both words (and used a Q). 122 points - thank you very much. He accused me of cheating. How insulting. if I was making words that you'd need to pull out the dictionary for - then accuse me of cheating. but words like "togas, scab (a word that got me like 40 points alone on a TWS), chums, reearned....how can i cheat? arent those everyday sort of words?

My first word of the game was ozone - and it got me like 55 points. or something like that...

Heres some advise - if youre a competative SORE loser who cant handle being beaten by a girl with a much larger vocabulary than your own. Dont accuse her of cheating just cause you SUCK.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE :)

Now what?

2011-12-06T18:02:00.002-05:00

WOW. What a month.

I spent so much time studying - that I barely had any time for anything else...but its over....and let me tell you, after spending so much time doing one thing - I dont know what to do with all my spare time.

For all of you LSAT enthusiasts out there - let me be the first to assure you that this test is HARD. Not that the content was overly difficult...but the amount of the content was overwhelming. At the bottom of one of the pages in the booklet, I actually wrote "i ran out of time completely for this question. This test is too long." (and yes, the actual question was the entire page) - lets hope the fine people at LSAC have a sense of humor.

OMG...one guy actually almost got kicked out of the test for opening a bottle of water before break! the lady yelled at him and said that she read the rules to us at the beginning of the test and let us all consider ourselves warned that ignoring the rules will not be tolerated.

I had a good giggle over this.

But of course at the end - with 15 minutes left to go, and 4 questions, I pressed my fingers into my eyes and thought to myself that I couldnt read another word and guessed at the last 4 answers.

On the whole, I feel like I did not bad actually. I feel quite confident about my test in general. Lets just see how the score comes out - January 6.

I wasnt sure I wanted to be a lawyer...i wanted some doors open and quite honestly, took this test for the hell of it - but now that ive done it...I WANT to do well. If I dont, then i wont be that disappointed. But if I do well - then i'll apply to law school.

And now - moving forward onto everyone's happiest and most favorite time of year - Christmas (insert eyeroll/sarcasm here)

LSAT must be the initials for the Devil himself....

2011-11-03T08:47:00.003-04:00

Oh dear God....

Has anyone ever studied for the LSAT before??? I dont know how they do it. All these people who are lawyers. How did they manage to pass?

Im a fairly smart individual - 2 undergrads and a Masters of Education (im a certified teacher for fucks sake...so not exactly stupid).... but this? This studying...makes me feel like a moron.

Logical reasoning, would make you think that its logical common sense. Not so much. The first practice 13 questions I got 7 right...the second practice 13, I got 2 right. The time constraints for this test are almost unmanageable....

Logic games? The (sadistic) "game" starts out with a scenario where they give you clues, and then the questions follow. Lets have an example shall we?

Scenario: 7 men standing in a row. 3 with blue hats, 2 with red hats, 2 with white hats.

Clues: A red hat stands first, a blue hat cannot stand beside 2 red hats, the white hats cannot be second or third

Questions: What is a logical order of how these men are standing from first to last? Who's the tallest? WHICH MAN IS NAMED PAUL??? (ok, well the last 2 arent really questions, but they may as well be)

You know - I always wanted to be a lawyer, and the story i'm about to relay has certainly been written here before somwhere in the archives....In my third year of University, when i was still gearing up to write the LSAT, I got a riddle on email - similar to the above noted scenario. 6 hours later...i was still struggling with it. I had drawn diagrams, and charts...to no avail. I looked at my friend, who'd watched me work on it (which i did through an entire 3 hour class sociology class), and I looked at her and said "i'll NEVER pass the LSAT"....and that was it.

I havent even TOUCHED the other 2 sections yet....

Its all word problems. There's SO much organization needed, and i'm a VERY organized person. Thing is, im very overwhelmed with all of the stuff I need to learn in 4.5 weeks when people study for this for a year or more.

I need a strategy to study....I have already tabbed off the sections in the books, and organizing myself as best as possible. Im definitely feeling the pressure, but I need a proper strategy to organize myself to maximize study time.

I'm open to all help and suggestions :)

Its the end of October already

2011-10-26T18:50:00.003-04:00

Well....again, its been a nightmare of a month, and the lady who threatened my life is now gone from the agency and continuing to threaten my life.

I know its time to leave - and i've decided to write the LSAT and have applied for a number of jobs, so we'll see. Its time to get the fuck out of dodge because at this point - if this lady who's BANANAS has her skin head gang out here, blames me for going back to jail, and they're on the hunt for me - no thanks. I'll be happy to go thank you very much.

So that brings us pretty much up to speed. Im being threatened by a crazy lady, who has a number of equally crazy associates out here.

Its time to get out while i can.

And its my birthday next weekend. I'll be 34...... Aren't I too old for this shit???

Happy Spooky Season

2011-10-01T17:35:00.002-04:00

Wow. This month. I cant believe how fast its gone.

I had my life threatened at work - so i went on stress leave, and all i did was relax. It was quite nice to just lay around and do nothing for 3 weeks.

I met a new dude, who Im actually enjoying spending a large amount of time with. We're incredibly similar, and have turned into fantastic friends - which was unexpected and surprising. We met on the beach....and one comment turned into a 5 hour conversation. Its nice when things like that happen. So weve been spending a lot of time together, and hanging out. His birthday is even the day before mine...so lots in common.

Some ASSHOLE hacked my credit card and charged 4200 dollars at some conference in Texas. That was a pain in the ass to sort out...but its all sorted, I suppose, until I hear something else from the credit card company.

Its my 34th birthday in a month. I dont know where the time has gone, considering I started this blog when i think i was 27 or so. (ive not been the best blogger, but im working on it).

I moved into my new place, and I still dont have internet at my house - and since I was off for a month - it made internet time difficult. But I'm back to work now, and things are going well - although, I feel like its time to move on from my agency and find something new.

I've kept myself so occupied that I havent even gotten an answering machine, or call display on my phone yet - that I set up August 5!!!

Its time for apple picking, hoodies, pumpkins, scary movies, fireplaces, and warm cozy drinks. Happy fall everyone :)

PP meets celebrities and makes a complete asshole of herself....

2011-09-11T17:25:00.002-04:00

For those of you who have read this blog for any length of time, know that Clockwork Orange is my favorite movie....and at Nerd Expo this year, the star, Malcolm Mcdowell, along with other horror/movie people were going to be there signing autographs....

We're waiting in line too meet up with him, and he ends up being an hour and a half late. His manager must have been talking to him on the phone, and you could hear him say "NOO There's really a lot of people here to meet you".

And so he looks at the line and says "scream something to prove that youre here"....so i did - i dont know what I said, but i guess not enough people screamed, so he brought the cell phone to LD and she said "Hello??" and Malcolm never said anything, but then she said "we're here."

And then the phone came to me, and I said "We're here, are you coming??" and then he passed the phone to someone else. and I said "LD!!!, we just talked to Malcolm Mcdowell on the phone!!!" (one sided, but we did. :) )

Malcolm finally shows up, and comes up through the line, and im shakey nervous all of a sudden. I mean...this is a HUGE deal. so he's walking up the asile, and he gets to me, and he says "look at this beautiful girl just to meet me" and he grabs my arms, and squeezes them....so im imediately swoony and have a total "Dear Diary" moment.

there's only one girl ahead of me, and i get up there with my friend LD, and I shake his hand, and tell him how exciting it is to meet him , and he says "good then let me give you a hug!!" so he hugs me, and im so swoony again, hes so dreamy. So he asks me what I want signed, and I want the orange picture with the cartoonish face that has the cog for the eye, and LD asks me why I dont want one of Malcolm...and I tell her that the orange poster that I got signed, was the poster that came out when the movie was banned in England and MM looks at me and says "THATS RIGHT!!! I cant believe you know that!"

He takes the poster and says "and who am i addressing this to?" (And thats when things went bad...). I looked at him and said "Holy shit, youre malcolm Mcdowell"...and I couldnt remember what my name was and LD had to tell him...and then i launched into this HUGE speech about how the movie, and his protrayal of the character changed me and determined my career path blah blah blah...and you know how he has thos HUGE blue buggy eyes....he was like so enthralled with what I was saying, and he said "So you know all the bullshit then eh? about how they have to pee, and have the fake wangs"...and i looked at LD and laughed and said "Malcolm mcdowell just said WANG to us"...

So it was awesome, he shook my hand again and I told him that it was a real honor to meet him, and he said that it was an honor to meet me, and etc etc.

But I wish that was the end of it.......

So i get in line to see Douglas Bradley who was sitting beside Malcolm McDowell - im still swoony over MM, so i get up there, and pick my picture for him to sign, and i shake his hand and am like "Doug bradley...its very cool to meet you, but guess what? I just met Malcolm McDowell" and i was SUPER excited...and he looks at me very uninterested and says "Uh huh..." and i said "No, you dont understand. Clockwork orange is my FAVORITE movie ever!!!", and my friend jumps in and says "ummm...besides hellraiser of course", to which i say it is, but its my favorite Gorror movie, but how ACO is my most favorite movie ever. his assistant says "i dont even think ive ever seen it"...and im like "SHAME ON YOU!!!!" and doug bradley the entire time was like "uh huh...." and super unimpressed.

LD laughs and says that she'll never pass up the opportunity to see me make an ass of myself.

Im leaving, and im on the escalater, and Danielle Harris (of halloween 4, 5, rob zombie's halloween, and Roseanne) was 1 step above me on the escalater. She looks over her shoulder at me and shoots me the cut eye, so i say to her "wow, danielle harris. hows it going"...and she looks over her shoulder at me, gives me this massive bitchy smirk and in a really rude tone, says "YEA. Hi there". My response - WOW...youre fucking rude eh?....and let her jaw open on the escalator.

Talked to Malcolm McDowell on the phone, got to meet him, made a complete asshole of myself infront of doug bradley, and told off Danielle Harris. All in all...a good day. :)

you know what?

2011-08-23T13:57:00.005-04:00

...I miss the ocean.....

A moments reflection

2011-08-21T15:36:00.002-04:00

I think I had something to say...honestly - it wasnt about guys, or how busy it was. I think it was a response to another post that ive read recently...but it doesnt matter - inconsequential ramblings.

I realize that ive been a terrible blogging buddy - and while my life was crazy and hectic, I missed out on the moments in your lives. i dont have internet at home yet - so it makes blogging more difficult, but im here and dedicated to reading and catching up.

Things have been lovely on this end. No complaints (shocking..i know). Work's even going well.

the place is great - the neighbors are great - I honestly live in Sesame Street...all of the neighbors know each other, they all hang out in their front/side yards, and trade gardening/bbq/weeding/household tips. They all wave and say hello by name. Its something else. the kind of community that you have where you grew up and no one ever moved and everyone knows each other well. Its honestly divine.

I'm still thinking of applying for my PhD, and have to get all of my references to write me letters, and approach them prior to their semesters start in September....Im hopeful. I need a change.

I hope that you are all doing well, and that this has been a fantastic summer so far.

Moving = Suckage

2011-08-12T10:43:00.003-04:00

its been a long 5 weeks friends.

moving sucked the life out of me - and trying to maintain my phone number to port to my new iphone, which has been in the box for the last 7 days unused.....has caused me stress BEYOND stress.

I hate bell canada. I hate moving. I sat on the phone for 30 minutes with customer service to complain about their customer service.

My new place is amazing though. I got my bed finally (after sleeping on an airmattres for 10 days - which hasnt helped my mood).

I dont have internet or a phone yet, and havent since July 31, i feel so out of touch with Everyone. Miss A went on vacation and I didnt even know she was going.

Im hoping that everything will settle VERY soon....im loving my new apartment, its really huge, and gorgeous. And my parents brought my furniture, which I love, and is so cozy and reminds me of home. You know, I dont watch tv....and ive never had cable or anything like that - I mean, ive always had like 8 or 10 channels....but when you dont even have the option of those 10 channels...it really makes a difference.

Im in need of some severe retail therapy this weekend. I need some quiet "Me" time, and have no problems doing that - shutting the world out and going shopping.

Moving on up to the east side....

2011-07-05T08:39:00.007-04:00

But not to a high rise apartment in the sky. I DID find a new place and im moving on August 1. Im SO stoaked. Its a HUGE apartment, and I have my own private yard. sigh.....my own private yard with a stone walkway - thats perfect for a bistro set and a BBQ...eek!!!!

Theres a massive fireplace - and a built in wine rack in the kitchen. its so nice, and pretty...and gigantic, and CHEAP. I really lucked out. Im leaving what my dad called "A rat hole" (even though hes never been here), and found myself a gorgeous place. I'm really in love with it....and i have a yard. :)

I've also been thinking about doing my PhD in sociology, or a second masters in Social work......im getting to the point in life where I need another change. This apartment will help, but I need something bigger. Ive been at the same job for almost 3 years, and its time to do something different. but I dont want any lateral moves. I want a huge leap. Its time to start researching what im going to be doing with my life - my mom thinks I should go see a psychic. Ugh....

Anyway, I had the BEST Canada day weekend, with amazing friends, and so much booze, (I cant believe how much we drank - 11am until 11:30pm people....straight - and that was me - Miss A and LD were troopers and stayed another hour after that). Met some amazing new people, and had a wonderful wonderful weekend.

This weekend also marked the 1 year passing of my grandfather - I can't believe that its been a year already...CRAZY how fast this year went by. We had something for him at the cemetary and then a yummy dinner of all kinds of food he would have approved of.

Its that many days closer to Harry Potter, and Big brother starts on Thursday.

I know I said last year that it was going to be the summer of CJ - but I wasnt motivated. I wasnt into doing all of the things i said I wanted to - so I totally honestly think I may have jumped the gun that one. If the last week has taught me anything - this summer is going to be divine.

Did I mention I get my own yard???

EXPELLIARMUS!!!!

2011-06-29T21:35:00.001-04:00

Im trying to figure out what to say here....I dont know if you all know this - but im sort of a nerd. Especially when it comes to Harry Potter.

I have been reading these books since 1997. I was 20...and now im 33, and I still LOVE Harry. Sigh. I know.

I even spent 10 minutes looking for a picture that I really felt encapsulated the Epicness of this movie coming out in 2 weeks...i FEEL like this does it. but it doesnt really pack the punch necessary in this teeny window.

I cant believe its over - there wont be any more Harry....these books got an entire generation of people reading....they got kids reinterested in books....how many books have done that? Transformed an entire generation of kids into readers?

Im a nerd. I dont care. I already got my tickets...and i CANNOT wait. Who else is going?

Early Morning Conversations

2011-06-17T08:42:00.006-04:00

So i have someone who calls me everyday sort of early...like 5:50am early...just to say good morning. He's great and I really adore him, so its acceptable, although for the most part, this type of behavior is highly frowned upon.

He's half Chinese, and this morning mentioned something about the Mongols (becuase after "good morning", we apparently discuss ancient history).

Me: Wouldnt it be cool if you were related to Genghis Khan?

Him: I could be - he apparently liked having sex, and probably had a lot of kids.

Me: Well, you always talk about all the sex you have - so you might be.

Him: haha...totally.

Me: Well...do you also like Twinkies?

** Silence**

Me: Oh...nevermind...that was the Genghis Khan in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

hilarity ensues.

Even a helmet wouldnt help...

2011-06-08T12:09:00.004-04:00

This past weekend was SUPPOSED to be wonderful - a night of living it up and dancing with Jenni and Miss A...a night of fun and frolic...a night of greasy 3am post bar food....I had great intentions for a FABULOUS saturday....and then i got out of bed.

Went to kickboxing - everythings good. Time is being properly managed....I have 1.5 hours to work out, not the 2 that I need to do core and kickboxing, so i decide to go home, and do my core exercises there.

Its not that im a particularly CLUMSY person...im just really accident prone.Long story short, I was on the stability ball, face down. Lost my balance, went face first into the wall, sliced my eyebrow open, blood everywhere, shattered a glass and had an immediate bump that looked like a golf ball under my eyebrow.

Spent the next few hours in the hospital. They glued my eyebrow shut, and I have a concussion - and therefore, had to spend the next 3 days on the couch (minus lunch with Miss A on Sunday).

I still feel like shit. my eye is JUST starting to turn black (perfectly in time for the lion king this saturday I might add!!!), and it hurt to laugh or smile for 2 days cause of the swelling.

SIlver lining? Doc said that if i had hit one inch lower - I would have lost my eyeball. So i might have gotten into a fight with a wall, and lost - but at least I still have my eye. :)

This was taken yesterday morning - I can assure you its much more purpley today LOL

BLOGGER CAN SUCK IT

2011-06-04T13:59:00.005-04:00

I tried for 3 days to upload my pictures, of just Santa Monica, to here to show them off - cause I was going to do my california posts in parts. But I couldnt upload - the pictures were all wonky, the posts wouldnt publish - i restarted the first picture post TEN times...and uploaded the pictures TEN times. And nothing. For 3 days.

And today - i looked online. for 2 hours to figure out what the fuck was going on, becuase my posts werent even being published. I have like 5 different drafts of posts that I couldnt figure out what was going on.

The answer? After 3 days of wanting to punch my computer, 10 times of restarting the post, and a million and a half frustrating moments? The new IE disabled my java something or other. I cant publish posts anymore from there.

So now im on Mozilla - and hoping for a better day - i'll see if this publishes, and go from there.

And moving on....

2011-05-17T19:46:00.005-04:00

i didnt get the job.

They emailed me today - apparently they said i failed a part of the interview, but I know enough from the lady I know who was involved in hiring, that if someone failed a part of the process, they got an email within 4-7 days so they werent hanging and hopeful.

Since it was 2.5 months, I dont think that I failed - i think that I just missed it. (and I had that nagging feeling after the interview anyway...so im not technically surprised.)

Oh well - theres something better for me out there, and quite frankly, after 2.5 months, I wasnt sure I wanted them anymore anyway....

I'm going to start blogging about my trip (avec pictures) this week..so much to tell.

Hang in there - ive been busy.

Santa Monica = sunburn and wicked times.

2011-05-04T00:15:00.003-04:00

Well the first 5 days of my trip are done and overwith - which i CANT believe becusae we've been so busy, that the time has flown.

I do have this much to say...Hosteling, instead of hoteling while you're on vacation, leaves much to be desired...and I promise that it will be the last time - EVER. (I thought my idea of "roughing it" was the travel lodge....i was wrong. Its staying in a hostel - especially the one in Santa Monica.

We arrived VERY late...and my travel buddy turned on the royal wedding coverage. I went to bed.

Day 1 started VERY early as we went to the airport for 6am to get her friend who's flight was delayed 2 hours. Awesome...but after meeting up and getting our car, we drove to Santa Monica, and found the famous pier (which was the film location for a great 80's movie...Back to the Beach - no one else was excited...but I took pictures)....we walked 2.5 hours to Venice Beach, living it up in the ocean, and watching the surfers. Found this great mexican hole in the wall, and had margheritas on the beach. Ended up coming back, and I was burnt. If WIGSF thinks that Miss A transforms yearly into lobster girl....i swear...5 hours in the sun left me with 2nd degree burns. its day 5, and the blisters are JUST starting to pop...

Day 2 brought us to LA - hollywood, celebrity homes - or 40 foot high hedges -, rodeo drive...(which was AMAZING)...Peter O'Toole was doing his hands and feet at the Chinese Theater...it was a fantastic day...there is SO much money here.

Day 3 Brought me to La Jolla - which is SO beautiful, I would do it as a vacation on its own. Then to San Diego - and the zoo. Im not a Zoo person, but I wasnt about to complain - there is something VERY unnatural about polar bears that Pant due to heat....it was upsetting, and most likely my LAST animals in captivity adventure ever.

Day 4 and 5 brought us to Disney....which if you've been to the one in florida...they're SO different...the castle isnt even the same (i'll post pictures when i get back).

Tomorrow is a 12 hour coastal drive to San Fransisco - and then ALCATRAZ!!! i cant wait.

Hope that you are all awesome, and i'll continue my travel journaling...The hostel could be 10 posts on its own. GAG.

Forget stress....

2011-04-27T10:44:00.002-04:00

..in exactly 29 hours and 14 minutes i'll be headed to the airport to go to CALIFORNIA!!!

Its been the WORST month...with LD's dad gone...back and forth every weekend....shit at work:

WORK RANT: which, for the month....included TWO complaints from diagnosed psychopaths.

1. was that I breached confidentiality and shared her personal information with other clients - she complained ALL the way to the top - and by the top, I mean the EXACT people on the hiring committee for the job interview I had a bit ago for Federal Parole. Yea, NOT GOOD. But, she complained, they took her off my case load, and then she came and apologized to me. My thoughts??? I KNOW you lied...go tell the people you complained to.

2. an hour long meeting with another one, where we had a VERY engaging conversation for an hour where she said that she could actually see herself working with me, and liked me a great deal. And as soon as i left, she called my work and RANTED about how rude and mean i was to her, and then...called me a fat cow. LOL!!!! (she should have seen me a year ago if she thinks im fat now ;), but I digress....) Anyway...she also compained to the tippy top....and by the top, I mean the EXACT people on the hiring committee for the job interview I had a bit ago for Federal Parole....again...not good. BUT on the day of her intake at work, she laughed and said "I hope youre not hurt by what I said, it was part of my evil plan not to come to the agency at all. Im sorry I said those things, you know they arent true!! At which point I brushed it off, but again thought...I KNOW you lied - go tell the people that you complained to becuase they dont know...

I really took it up the ass this month (not literally for all of you who are about to make comments). There was severe unprofessionalism from my boss surrounding these two things that left me in her office contemplating a letter of resignation. I spoke to the union, who encouraged me to greive the acts....its being taken up with them now. This has seriously been the ENTIRE month of stress. It will end tonight...4-12:30.

But...aside from that - im leaving...in 29 hours, 4 minutes to the airport to head for sand and sun. We're doing Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, Map of the stars homes I imagine....San Diego, 2 days at Disney, up to Sanfransisco along the coast, (i think we'll make it to garlic world wigsf), Alcatraz...lots of touristy things in SF, over to vegas....where Ive been 4 times already. I'm doing NOTHING While they explore the city. Im going to lay around by the pool and read...for 2.5 days. And then over to the grand canyon to hike it up. And then back to LA to fly home.

Im incredibly excited....if you want post cards....this is your chance to say so.

So long life in sucky rainy stressful Toronto...so long stress...good bye internet, cell phone and email....hello California

Nevermind...Princess Pessimism Stays....its suits this place.

2011-04-04T20:59:00.004-04:00

I wish i could blog about something interesting.... I wish i had something fantastic to say..... I wish that I had the energy, and motivation to keep the world up to date with all of the fantastic and amazing things going on in my life.... But there isnt. Its been all stress. Vacation stress, personal life stress, work stress...it almost seems like every day has been worse than the one before it. I just want to sleep...and wake up in 24 days in time for my vacation. I havent forgotten about all of you - im just not reading, and am barely surviving.

This and That.

2011-03-23T09:14:00.002-04:00

You know - I think Charlie Sheen is less than 5 steps away from starting his own cult. What do you think it would be called? I'm going to go with "Sheenis Envy".

Its snowing here in the great city of Toronto. Thats right people. Snow. March 23. Its pretty outside - i heart the snow, but its really sucky cause its so cold.

Nothing about the job yet....and if its meant to be, it will be. But I havent actually thought about it much over the past week or so because....

...ALL IM THINKING ABOUT IS MY VACATION!!! Woot. I just confirmed my 90 hours off, and still have 2 weeks to spare (and thats carried over from last year, im behind on my vacation taking).

I think, so far, this is the itinerary. Flying into LA, San Diego, San Fransisco, La Jolla, Vegas, Grand Canyon.

Ive been to the last 2, but have never been to California - If you have ANY recomendations for that state, restaurants, things to see, or do, places that are a "MUST" for any traveller, please let me know.

A peice of advice.

2011-03-19T12:23:00.002-04:00

IF you are married...tell me, or at least delete my text messages - so that I can avoid SCREAMING phone calls from your wife Asking me who i am, and where I know you from.

You know...in these situations - why is NO ONE Ever mad at the dude...ive seen Jerry Springer - the chicks always go after each other. Its mind boggling.

Assholes.

blah Thursday...

2011-03-10T13:31:00.003-05:00

Its thursday. Its crappy weather outside.

Im done beating myself up about the job. I dont think I really want it anyway - another potential job came to me yesterday (from a colleague at another office), and its something that im REALLY looking into. So we'll see. After 6 months of preparing, tears, stress, and meltdowns....the job that I just interviewed for might not even be what I want. Funny how life works out like that. (and my apologies for putting you all through the stress as well. LOL)

My shoulder feels much better. Thank you for all of your condolences.

Nothing really new to report. I wont hear about the job for at least 2 more weeks...shoulder's doing better....broke my toe on Tuesday (I THOUGHT i broke it, cause it turned black within a minute of being injured, but im more mobile today, and its feeling better, and is less black - so i dont know about broke anymore - maybe just fucked up. Which i'd settle for)

Im longing for spring - im sick of this weather...So i think we all need a little pick me up. There is a man who's doing some reno's at work here, and he reminds me of Richard Simmons....DRESSED like Don Johnson in Miami vice - white pants and all (I WISH i could post pictures of him). He ALSO consistently smells of rotten eggs, feet, and mouldy cabbage.

Feel free to discuss: Are eyebrows considered facial hair???

forget what i wrote about changing the URL of this blog....

2011-03-06T20:03:00.002-05:00

It is SO rightly named. Ive lost all confidence regarding this job.

I know youre wondering, so i'll get straight to the point. After I left, i realized that I didnt say a massive section in the questioning - in regards to the kind of client they were asking me about - BUT i touched on every point under that section - i just didnt name the section. I did demonstrate knowledge...but I forgot to mention the name of the section i was making all the points about.

additionally - I feel like If I had asked one additional question during the role play, it would have opened up a variety of new possible questions - of course, I didnt think until i was gone.

I know this doesnt seem like that much - but when it comes down to it - these are the things that can cost you the job. I dont know.....we'll see I suppose, but im not holding my breath for the phone call.

Annnnd yesterday, im at my parents house cleaning - because they are coming back from a 3 week jaunt in south america....and i was vaccuuming the stairs, and stepped right on the vaccuum....grabbed the railing, and did some serious damage to my shoulder. Pain so bad, its gag worthy.

thats it folks - now its just a waiting game.....and if my shoulder still feels like this in a couple of days, im going to the doctor.

PP is ready for change...

2011-03-03T11:27:00.002-05:00

My interview is tomorrow. Im nervous. Gag nervous.

ive been preparing - and feel ok about the things that they expect (role play, questions, and written), and have a FAIRLY good idea about the sorts of things that they are going to ask in terms of these three things, but that doesnt make it any easier.....

Keep your fingers crossed...big time - and if you pray - say one for me. :)

Everyone's making changes!!!

2011-02-27T11:18:00.005-05:00

It has been 2 of the craziest weeks - and from the looks of other blogs....same goes for everyone else.

Another thing that I find a lot of bloggers have in common right now, is eating healthier. And im no exception Every year, i do a quasi version of Lent, this being my third, where I give up something - a bunch of somethings. The first year I did it for 47 days; last year, 68 days; this year, 80.

I give up: chocolate, white sugar, all desserts (which is why Miss A ate my and her dessert at our last restaurant outing), no candy, no white flour, bread, pizza, pasta, crackers, pancakes, etc etc etc...basically all i eat is on the stove oatmeal, chicken, fish, brown rice, fruit and veggies. Plus all the kickboxing - you can imagine the results!

Today is day 20. I didnt have any of the wretched headaches this time around, and am feeling pretty good...although - last week, I almost cried I wanted a cookie so bad. And at a late work meeting, where they ordered pizza for dinner, I had to watch everyone else enjoy it. I was pretty miserable that day too. LOL

20 days down...60 days to go - my friend Justine accuses me of doing this for bragging rights. And I'll be honest, I love getting people on the "lent bandwagon"....And I successfully recruit about 6 people a year. But I assure you, when they say "I hate you PP! Why did I do this?"...and my response is "you're having a hard time with it?? Its so easy! Quit then"...It remotivates them feeling they have to prove it to me - which i never understood! I dont do it to brag, I do it for the challenge...and having someone else to be miserable with is good times.

As well, whats kept me so busy, is my interview. Its this friday!!! EEK!!! Id be lying if I said I wasnt nervous. Apparently there's a role play where you have to ask probing questions to get to a hidden addiction that your client has. And I assure you "Pretend you have an addiction and dont tell me what it is" has quickly become my MOST favorite game. Ive been accosting people at work, and friends on msn....Im surprised I have any left at this point.

But after friday, i can sleep, and slightly relax a little, because at that point, its out of my hands. Ive been given some good adivce on how to prepare for this interview. And Im not taking all of those suggestions for grantid. Im still working my ass off. My laziness is not going to get in the way of me getting this job.

Fingers crossed!

OH - and on another note - I paid off my line of credit...which has been hundreds of dollars a month in payment, for the last 3 + years. I thought I would be more excited...but in all reality, Im not. Im surprised at how "meh" I am about having paid off this huge debt. and in fact, I actually had to come back to add it here, cause I'd totally forgotten. (But I did want it documented somewhere, so that when i read over my life one day, i'll remember). I suppose i'll be happy when the extra money isnt disappearing every month, but we'll see. LOL

Reflection

2011-02-16T22:21:00.003-05:00

You know...life's funny.

We work hard at some things, and are lazy about other things - we prioritize things in our lives, and put all of our efforts into what we feel is most important.

We put a lot of ourselves into the things that we do...mostly things that go unnoticed, or unappreciated. I always used to say that the only place that life was fair, was at the gym. Its the only place that you get back exactly what you put into it...work out more, get better results, and vice versa.

However - sometimes...the stars align, and everything falls into place. The effort that you make towards yourself...or your future, pays off. The things that make us cry, and give us stress, end up being things that really progess us into the things we want to do - and we are reminded that we should never give up - regardless how infuriating, or upsetting life is sometimes. That our efforts are not always in vain, and they are recognized.

I passed my test....my interview is March 4th. :o)

PP gets pulled over....

2011-02-10T09:29:00.004-05:00

So after my test, I went to visit a friend - and following 10 days of studying and being drained, i was so tired, i just wanted to get home. So im driving and I sort of stopped at a stop sign. A cop sees me and pulls me over.

He proceeds to be the biggest dick, and asks me to step out of my car as he takes my license. im standing at the side of the road, and he honks at me to come over - and he proceeds to show me the tape of me sort of stopping - I mean, he could have easily let it go, since i came to a 99% stop - but we all know how badge happy the police usually are....anyway, he had his car heat set to "cremate", and i said that it was so warm in there. He invites me to sit down inside (front seat) and proceeds to start a conversation as hes writing my ticket.

Turns out that we grew up in the same smallish city, and that we know a lot of the same people and that he grew up on the same street of an old friend. He then says "so what brought you here?" I tell him what I do for a living, and as a volunteer position, and he snaps his head at me and says "You're a fucking (insert position title here)????" and I say "yea, sorta. Why??"

He says "Why didnt you say so??? I dont even want to give you this ticket anymore" I ask if its a kickback of the one position that I have, and he puts his fingers to his lips and taps the car camera with his pencil and mouths to me that the car is miked. He gives me the ticket and says that he wants to walk me back to my car.

Outside, he says "so if you take it to court...and if you GO TO COURT, and blah blah blah court...Do you understand what im saying to you?" I said "no".

**For the record, I am fairly law abilding and fairly dense - apparently.

He says "OK - IF YOU TAKE THIS TO COURT..blah blah blah...then you come see me, and we work something out...and start carrying your business cards"

I go home that night, and call a friend who works at the same division as he does. She says that hes an idiot and that she'll call him tomorrow to see what sort of evidence he has...turns out, he doesnt have any.

I go to court in 6 months :o)

catching up on life.

2011-01-29T11:22:00.002-05:00

The last 10 days has been CRAZY. All I did was study. Sacrificed sleeping, eating, going out (well...not so much going out..but you know). And it was so qiuet at my parents house - until they got home, and then it all went to hell.

My old room mate from toronto came to visit and she'd never really been down that way before, so i gave her the grand tour plus we did a whole bunch of touristy things etc. It was my dad's 60th birthday - so there was a party last weekend that we also had to get ready for.

I ended up staying at my parents sunday night too becuase I had to go to another office monday that was half way between niagara and toronto - which made sense to me, but I had lost so much study time, and was so frustrated at how loud everyone was - that I was in tears, and went to the quietest place I could think of....Miss Ash's sisters house. AND she has two teeny kids. I got more done there in 3 hours than i did all weekend.

Then i spent the majority of the week in the library studying with ear plugs (which i also had on the weekend, but my family is too loud for earplugs even) - and by wednesday night - I was so frustrated with the material, that I ended up leaving the library at 7:30 and going home. While i was walking home - and had resolved to never touch a CSC document again - I ironically got about 6 different text messages from people saying that they were thinking about me, and that they were wishing me luck for the test and that they knew i would do great.

It actually made me feel much better, and i went home, and studied some more.

The test was divided into 4 parts. First part was 5 MC questions, 2nd 10MC questions, 3rd 14MC questions, and 4th 5MC questions....

Thats it. LOL and after all the tears and frustration...i feel confident for the most part. Im not going to say that I passed for sure...but im feeling confident. I never understood when people ask how the test went - if I passed, it went well - if I didnt pass, it didnt go well. I mean, I know that you can gauge how you think you did - but If university taught me anything, its that sometimes I thought I aced a test, and then failed...and sometimes I think that i failed, and got an A.

(Side note - this actually happened to me once when i was taking one of my upper year sociology courses. I almost dropped the course before the midterm becuase I was so frustrated wtih the material, and trying to memorize it - but I wrote it anyway - and thought that i failed it, but when my score came out, and I got 87%, i had to go back and check three times).

SO - for now, we'll say that I answered the questions, and I feel confident. :)

Then i got pulled over by a cop - but I can save that for my next post.

Swirly Whirly

2011-01-18T10:04:00.003-05:00

The last few days have been a total blur and complete whirlwind.

Year of spoil indeed!!! LOL

I decided to take a massive road trip in the last few days of April and first 10 or so days in May with some Aussies. My old room mate tossed around the idea, and I said "im in" and plans were well under way. Another of her friends is flying over from Australia to meet us in L.A. and we're going from there. 5 days in LA, 3 days in San Fransisco, 2 days in San Deigo, Over to Vegas for a few days, and then to the grand canyon for a few days. and then back to LA. Should be absolutely amazing. like...Amazing. So if any of you have been to those places (excluding Vegas of course, ive been) make any and all recommendations about dinner, resturants, things to do, and please include links if you have them. This has taken up a lot of time, sorting and organizing....but it should make for some amazing times, and fun posts. We're going to Disneyland for 2 days...and after being in Disney World for 2 days just a few months ago, im going to be disneyed out for the next little while.

Additionally - I decided (yesterday), that enough was enough, and I emailed CSC, as I wrote the test for them months ago!!! I was very nice and professional about it, and 2 hours later, I get an email back saying congratulations!! youve passed, and we're inviting you to write the next test (which is complicated to explain, but its actually 4 sections, and 2 tests on the same day). Coincidence that they emailed me....I guess we'll never know. BUT how exciting is this!!!! This is step 3 out of 4 in the process to becoming a federal parole officer! Woot. I wont even complain about how slow they are...LOL im too excited now.

And im dog sitting this week. My parents are in Jamaica, so im burning my vacation (since i have so much to use before the end of march), so i agreed to watch the dog while they were gone. Luckily, I actually now have a week to study. Ive been working on this all morning, and have a hot date with the library today. If I fail this one, it will be my own lazy fault. (Yautca - I actually thought about how much you study when you have those financial tests, and already tsk tsked myself for not starting yesterdayafter I got the email. LOL)

So thats been my life folks. Trip planning, and future planning. And for the rest of this week, it will be studying, but I will be certain to post the results of the test - which should be greuling and make me want to cry....god knows the last one did.

On a side note - its my dad's 60th birthday tomorrow...and on the 20th, the 12 year anniversary of the death of one of my best and closest friends. Usually this week is very sad for me, but good things are happening, and im in a much better place than usual. I miss you Craig..and Happy Birthday to my dad :)

The 10 Evil Commandments

2011-01-08T09:32:00.004-05:00

So i bought this book - a hilarious daily diary type account of satan's rise to the head of the underworld....(super cheap table sale incase you were wondering)....these are the kinds of things i find funny.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods but me
Mister high and mighty's getting too damned righteous. Thou shalt prefer the devil to him.

2.Though shalt not make to thyself any graven imagines
Thou shalt feel free to portray me in all my glory (especially if thou captureth my rugged good looks)

3. Though shalt not take the lord's name in vain
Thou shouldst blashpheme, cuss, and use utter profanities whenever things dont go thy way

4. Remember the sabbath day and make it holy
Thou shall use the weekends profitably to catch up with all the sins thou hast missed out on during the week

5. Honor thy father and mother
Ensure the life insurance and wills are up to date

6. Thou shalt not kill
Thou shalt not let any slight go unavenged

7. Thou shalt not commit adultry
Thou shall not get found out

8. Thou shalt not steal
Thou shall consider it an "indefinite loan"

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shall be economical with the truth

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, fields, man servants, etc...
Oh come on! Thou shall desire and covet to thy heart's content, especially if its a nice ass.

2010 - you are but a faded memory of what was.

2011-01-01T19:27:00.006-05:00

2010 took a lot of people from me that i did not want to go....and brought me back a lot of people that I never wanted again.

I really started to rationalize, and review my life (as everyone does this time of year) and realized that I needed sort of a summary of my Resolutions.

I resolve to take life less seriously, and spoil myself to something once a month. Be it an expensive purse, long weekend road trip, day at the spa...etc. I think that this is a good way of having more time for myself, and dedicating more time to the pursuit of "all things PP". I need to refamiliarize myself with things that I like, and find out what I dont like anymore - see how my tastes have changed.

And...if anything - this year in men has taught me that my tastes have definitely changed - for the better I think. I was wrong about this past week at work being bliss. My ex came into town, and I could not believe how negatively it affected my sleep, my functionability, my daily stress levels - of course, getting 39 text messages in one night asking me to go fetch him to hook up in my car didnt help. He said that if I couldnt have a mature meeting and a night of casual sex, than something was wrong with me, and to go fuck myself.

We havent seen each other in 2 years. I have indeed blogged about this man (and I use that term loosely) before. He is under a VERY misguided impression of what happened 2 years ago when we split...and thinks that we could actually have something casual - when in reality...one text message saying he was in the city, took every step that id made from him in 2 years, and affected me so negatively...

So this week, I drank...a lot. And after days of avoiding my house, phone and cell phone - out of sheer dread - i decided that it was time to make a change.

My friends (toronto, and niagara) came through in true fashion - were there to support me, and kept me VERY busy at night time so that I wouldnt be tempted to see him. I do love the drama - but I think this year, may be dedicated to living drama free - because everyone said "I know youre going to see him, but just be careful - you know how this is going to end" and to everyone's surprise, I avoided him like the plague.

My cousin's status on Facebook was to: remember that how you spend your New Years is how your next year will be....Which made me miserable - because I was planning on being by myself after work with a pizza, being miserable - but instead, I made some very fast plans, and went to a Wii pizza party at my sisters, hung out with my neices, and then out with great friends at night; followed up with great friends, poutine and pancakes today. Lots of laughter ( a few tears), and over all, a decent night.

If what my cousin wrote is true - then my next year shall be filled with amazing friends, family, good times, laughter, good food, and taking control of my emotions instead of letting them control me.

NOW - ive got 12 months of spoiling ahead of me....Whats for January....Bring on the Year of PP. :)

Winding down 2010....

2010-12-28T22:52:00.002-05:00

im back to work tomorrow morning. Spare me your jealousy.

people think that im nuts for not taking this week off...but let me just say that im working, none of my clients will be around, no agencies are really open, parole and probation officers are gone until 2011....i'll go to work, watch movies and be online for the most part. the next three days will be bliss - why wouldnt i work?? LOL

Even a Grinch can have her day...

2010-12-23T16:08:00.007-05:00

To all of my lovely fellow bloggers who Never fail to entertain me with their ramblings; Delight me with their jokes; Make me smile with their stories; Make me laugh out loud at their embarassing moments; Make me sad with their sorrow; and Make me happy to be part of a network of brilliant, hilarious, talented writers who's ideas for posts never cease to amaze me.

May this new year bring many more ideas, stories, and hilarity to us all...

You know what...?

2010-12-20T15:24:00.003-05:00

...this blog is REALLY grumpy. I bitch a lot about work, and guys (mostly)...and after reading every post that Ive written this year - I cant believe that you are all still reading - i would have stopped months ago (GREEEAAAT...another post about PP's men...or another post about work....blah)

so adding on to my list of resolutions I recognize that I need to take much more time away from work, and guys. I need to implement other things (than kickboxing) into my life and be a more well rounded person. Guys and work are fine...but thats 90% of what I blog about. Someone should have yelled at me months ago.

I hate my lack of technology

2010-12-14T21:47:00.002-05:00

So....me and Miss A and LD went to the Tim Burton Exhibit here in Toronto. IF you are a fan of Tim Burton - you must see this exhibit....its a non option to anyone who loves his work. It was great, exciting, fabulous etc...but this post isnt really about that. Its about my shitty phone.

So im standing outside of the exhibit waiting for Miss A and LD, who got lost on the streetcar....I had just hung up the phone with her, establishing their ETA, and who walks by but Kevin Smith. I was speechless, and made some high pitched gutteral squealy girl noises I imagine....

He slowed and made the general "Hi, yea, hows it going" chit chat....and All i could say was something that resembled "BAHHHHHHHHHHHHH".....and he looked at me and said "No camera huh? Well nice to meet you"...and kept going.

Aside from the fact that my cell phone has gotten me in a lot of trouble this year, it has ALSO not provided me the options that I need - clearly. First order of business in January, new phone - WITH camera.

uhh...hmmm....Resolutions.

2010-12-09T00:47:00.004-05:00

ive written about 4 posts that I ended up deleting (but saved the draft) becuase I didnt know what to blog about.

wigsf blogged about new years eve...and who wants to read 2 posts about that....

And then i wrote another one about how i got a paper cut on my eyeball tuesday night...but no one wants to keep reading about how accident prone i am....

then i wrote one about childhood memories of hanging out with Miss A from when we were super little, but I would never post about her without her permission first....

Then i wrote one about bumping into another ex....who called me that same night - but lets be real. Who wants to read about my ongoing Boy drama??? I dont even want to talk about it anymore....

So im writing about New Years Resolutions

I wasnt sure what my resolution was going to be this year...or If I was even going to even have one, since I never seem to stick to them anyway.....

I already go to kickboxing 4-5 days a week....thats the gym bit covered...

i dont have any bad habits to quit....(unless you count swearing like a trucker, which i dont.)

im still trying to avoid drama...and boredom. Avoiding Drama isnt working out so well...but I havent been bored in a LONG time...

"Fuck IT" is still largely in effect - if you cant change it or do anything about it, fuck it, and dont worry about it. - that one is still in daily practice.

So - I guess that leaves me with what I want to do this year:

1. Travel more. Bottom line. I want to take all the road trips that I never took last year, and one over seas trip.
2. Get in better shape - which, I am currently doing, but will continue to do, and happily i might add
3. Pay off all my debts. Im planning on doing this before february....the prospect of emptying half of my savings account is terrrifying...but the idea of having an extra 600 dollars a month in my pocket is exciting....
4. Take more vacations and dedicate less of my life to work. I currently have 144 hours of vacation....and by year end, assuming i dont work 1 more second of overtime, I will have almost 180 hours of vacation by March 31. (keep in mind that I have already taken 5 weeks of vacation this year, and I still have 180 hours left....I only work 4 days a week, no stats, and no weekends. Its a curse AND a blessing) ...and i can only carry over 3 weeks of vacation, or I lose it, cause we dont get paid out.

This year is going to be about me. Im going to put my energy into myself. I deserve it. I work hard, and give a lot of myself to working and my clients. This year, im going to dedicate my time, to myself, and learn to leave work, at work.

Aww Crap.

2010-12-02T22:37:00.005-05:00

Oh kickboxing....such a love hate relationship we have....Lets hope the pain in my jaw goes away on its own, without a trip to the hospital. (Im wishing any of the pictures I took inside where my teeth went ito my lip would turn out...too dark. LOL!!! blah.)

2010-11-30T19:30:00.006-05:00

My uncle died today...my grandma went over to have lunch with him, and found him dead at his home.

So it was after work, and im feeling a little blah; but I was hungry and wasnt sure what I wanted. So i got out of my car, and walked...and picked up whatever looked appetizing, and consoling...

No matter what you feel, or what youve heard - what ever kind of cravings you are having....please take my advice....

Spicy Crispy Salmon Sushi rolls....and poutine, is NOT a good dinner combination

RIP Uncle Nick!

Notable Notables...

2010-11-24T13:03:00.004-05:00

Random bits.

1. I hate my lulu lemon pants (and I looked, they're Dance Pants)

2. Its been almost 8 months since I started blogging again - and have definitely proven that I am back to stay. There's no reason that I shouldnt be back on everyone's blogroll again. (I think i am, but just saying...)

3. Now that im back into kickboxing, I find myself constantly humming "Eye of the Tiger"...and feel like I should get a tattoo that says "Have the guts, got the glory". I wont - but im sure you can appreciate my standpoint.

4. Another one of my Exes has been in constant contact with me, and confessed that while hes not in love with me anymore (and me not in love either), that he still loves me, and that a peice of himself was gone the day that we split. Almost 2 years later....we're becoming fast friends, and thats it. Neither is looking to rekindle, but its just nice to know what hes up to. Im not being skeptical - but I am being careful. I know what he's capable of.

5. For the first time ever, I decided on a Christmas tree. my mom gave me a prefrosted, prelit fake thing that she usually keeps in her bedroom. I took it out of the case, and got one touch of the prefrosted leaves, gagged, and immediately put it away. I havent been in the christmasy music spririt, but definitely in the christmas MOVIE spirit.

6. Kickboxing is going very well. I hated my trainer so bad yesterday, she pushed us so hard, that I wanted to throw up. But, when i asked her about the speed ropes we use, she gave me one, and all was forgiven.

7. im behind on my christmas shopping. Usually im done by now. and while im done ALMOST everyone, im not done and its unsettling. Ugh...i need to make a list.

Pottermania.

2010-11-19T19:33:00.002-05:00

Oh. My. God.

I went to see Harry potter last night....well, this morning at 12:01am. I woke up for work thursday at 6:30, and had a not TOO crazy day at work - the first semi quiet day in 2 weeks - and then drove to Mississauga for 7:30, where we proceeded to have dinner and then wait in line for 3 hours to get good seats...and they were PRIME.

You know what the best thing about opening night for a movie this huge? No ones annoying. No one talks. No one says a word. Its so quiet, and amazing.

This movie was everything I wanted it to be. It was happy, and hilarious, and heartbreaking, and nail biting....it ended on a perfect note, and I cant wait for part 2 - which I imagine will be the most anticipated movie of all time.

If you are planning on going - I recommend it. It was absolutely amazing. Potterlicious. lol

i did it...

2010-11-17T12:33:00.002-05:00

...I bought pants from Lulu Lemon...blah.

I needed pants for kickboxing...and these are the best ones I found. They have a tie on the waist and they dont slide when I skip. YIPPEE...

AND...when I went into the store, and tried on one size...the lady was like "Those are much too big, let me get you a smaller size."

YAY to kickboxing, and smaller pants. LOL

TGIF. Seriously

2010-11-13T00:06:00.005-05:00

this week has been VICIOUS.

no word from the dude...its over. Moving on.

2 of my clients were arrested in the last 24 hours and i spent 6 hours at work today (on my day off, and cant get overtime).

But with all the shit this week, one good thing has come from it. I LOVE kickboxing. its been really good to help get the stress out - turns out that punching and kicking for an hour has been fantastic - helped me sleep better, and im much less stressed at work, and about life in general. The FIRST day....skipping for 15 minutes, 400 crunches, 200 squats, and 200 reverse lunges plus 35 minutes of bag work almost killed me. i didnt bring enough water, but im not in as bad shape as I thought i was...but i did learn that i need tighter yoga pants. By day 2, i was doing much better, and tomorrow is day 4. i'll be even better. My skipping coordination is shit...and i think that i whipped my arm with the skipping rope only 15 times today, instead of 50 like i did the first day.

Ive been everyday, and not eaten any carbs this week. Done so well that I treated myself to some ice cream tonight. and felt really good about my decision to do so.

Other than that, when i was holding the bag today in the circuit, my trainer kicked so hard and just the right spot that she got my finger, and she thought she broke me for sure. But my bones have been through worse than that, and are fairly resiliant. So i bounced right back...got to wear the pink boxing gloves, and ran home from the gym. Go me!

Im an idiot - AKA, I hate my phone.

2010-11-10T11:05:00.002-05:00

So i blew it with the new guy...

long story short - my phone's a peice of shit, and sent text messages to everyone that I had texted in the last 24 hours, that SEEMED like i could be crazy if they were received by someone other than who they were intended for....these were sent to about 6 people out of my phone directory who I had been texting over the last 24 hours, including the new guy. HOWEVER, my one saving grace is that one of the texts out of 3 that was sent to everyone had her name in one of the texts....but still nothing

THEN i went to work and was laughing with my coworker about how he probably thinks im nuts, and I got another text from someone else, and when i replied, I watched it send and it said "Sending New Guy"....and my jaw hit the floor, and my face went so red that my coworker said that I looked like I was about to cry, and that she thought i got a message that said someone died.

it seems pretty unbelieveable I suppose and my coworker said that shed NEVER have believed it if she hadnt seen it herself - but for sure to never text again becuase he probably thinks im insane at this point.

I do have to say that everyone that I have talked to about this has been incredibly great and supportive - it just sucks, and I know that I have to leave it now and never contact him again...i just hate that its becuase of my phone and there's no way to fix it, or explain it.

But let me ask one thing - for those of you who have read this blog for years...WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SO MUCH DRAMA HERE?

I totally need to change the title of this blog - Dramarama, or A day in the life of a Drama Queen - but the thing is, i dont go looking for it - it finds me, and im sick of it. LOL

SO, because of this, I decided to get up this morning and go back to kickboxing. I needed to do something for myself to clear my head...and skipping, push ups, sit ups, squats, kicking and punching a bag for an hour - is a GREAT way to clear your head. Trust me. Its been a while since ive been, so I dont know how im going to feel tomorrow, all I know is that i'm going to sleep great and get up and go again in the morning. Its an amazing feeling to get all of the stress out. Ive put my goal list on hold for too long, and its about time that I said "fuck it" and did something for myself. So for now, kickboxing is it.

AND I started no carbs etc again...day 3 - feeling great. And the wretched headaches are gone already.

Back from all that is Hogwarts.

2010-11-06T11:13:00.003-04:00

Ok - so i disappeared for a couple of weeks - with good reason. It was my birthday yesterday (GAH...33!!!), and my entire family went on vacation to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I know. Utter nerds.

If you like Harry Potter - it was unreal. Truly amazing. The castle ride - was so incredible....it took 20 mintues of constant walking to get from the main door to the ride itself - and you walked through the entire castle. Through the greenhouses in herbology, and Dumbledore's office, the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, etc....not to mention they had walls of talking pictures, and props from the movie. VERY exciting. And the ride was like a quasi roller coaster, with 4 chairs side by side on an arm that put you in front of a green screen, and spun you upside down, and sideways according to what you were seeing.

My neice was terrified of this ride, because aside from the green screen, it pulled you out of that, and real animatronic dementors and spiders flew at you (she was afraid of the spiders - that were half the size of my car).

Anyway - she braved this ride again on the last day there - and we went one last time before we left the park for good.....and it broke down, while we were on it. Dangling face first over the green screen....and then they had to turn all the lights on while we were on the ride - 50 feet over the floor, dangling...and seeing all of the wires, and claws, and metal beams that kept it in place....She cried, and asked several times to get off - I did feel bad for her since she was so afraid of it prior to that - but she seemed to be ok.

When we got off the ride - they were giving out the pictures for free (the ones they take mid ride) to all of the people who were stuck on it. I looked wildly unimpressed, and my neice had this sheer look of terror on her face. We decided against getting the picture.

However - I did take many of my own - which i'll post soon.

For those of you who are curious - butter beer is a combination of rootbeer and butterscotch REVOLTING...and pumpkin juice is even worse than that.

No one would have ever believed me....

2010-10-26T12:06:00.005-04:00

Hidden city jems. I swear....

I was driving down a random street trying to cut through the city last night on my way to get groceries, and this is what I found. I managed to retrace my steps today with a friend, and after driving around for 20 minutes...not only found the house, but the owner outside. He's an interesting fellow....

and of course I spoke to quickly....

2010-10-24T22:29:00.002-04:00

Story of my life.

Another ex emailed me today...but not just any Ex...THE ex. The one who devastated me, broke my heart, and left me....

I never check my junk mail in hotmail - but for some reason...did. Saw his name and freaked out. Cried...and called a couple of people. 2 people pointed out that if an email can have that much affect on me....what would talking to him do. I agreed.

And then he texted me "Is this still your number"....(THE CURSE of having the same number for 10 years. FYI everyone who has my cell number. its being changed)

Its morbid curiosity....I HAVE to talk to him. I HAVE to know what he wants....its not like he was someone i just hooked up with at a bar. I Loved this guy...immensely. We talked about a future.....

Im just so confused....I looked him up on FB. So hot still.....I answered his text....im insane - lets not dwell on that please. But I have to know what he wants....I dont even know why.

A friend called me to see how i was...i couldnt string a thought together, or a sentence for that matter in regards to the issue...its utterly mind boggling.

I havent talked to him in a year and a half - and at this point, its such a mind fuck, that I cant even fathom why he wants to catch up. He clearly had no idea what imact his email would have.....and i wish, at this point, that I would have just let my junk mail go....

Leading to my happy ending...

2010-10-22T09:21:00.002-04:00

...and its about fucking time. However, im being CRAZY optimistic right now - and so much so, that Im actually thinking of changing the URL of this blog. LOL

1. The job.
I applied September 3 for that CSC job, and it took them a MONTH to use their automatic filtering system to let me know if my resume would be passed on to a human instead of a robot, and that the results of my application status would be available October 3. I got the results that day saying that my resume will be passed on to a member of the human resources team, and that if they wanted to contact me for a job, they would do so.

Just this past monday, I got an email from them inviting me to write a written communications proficiency test (put these sentences in the right order...what does this word mean...which 2 of these 4 words means the same thing...what punctuation mark is missing...those sorts of things). Its the 27th at 9am. You have to get 32 out of 50 to get to the next stage in the hiring process - but lets be real. I have my masters in education and am a certified teacher, plus am fully literate, and have (for the most part - professionally speaking) amazing grammar. If I fail this test, I have bigger problems than not getting hired at CSC. I imagine this is step 2 out of a number of steps. Ive heard that there's another test on all of the Commissioners directives - which I sort of follow daily at work to make sure the PO is doing her job, but if you didnt know that, then how would you ever know? Anyway...whatever happens...im ready.

2. The Guy.
We split for good. I was sick of wasting my time, and sick of feeling bad about the relationship, and myself in the relationship. BUT...the same day that we split, I met someone else....who is actually very nice, its not moving fast...but it feels good to be this happy again.

Thats all for now kids. I'll update next wednesday after the test before my vacation!

you know....

2010-10-14T21:48:00.002-04:00

ive never seen Glee...but i recently heard a 30 second clip of a song they covered and you know what I realized???

Glee is just a televised version of the "Mini Pops".

Thanksgiving wrap up.

2010-10-11T08:22:00.002-04:00

Wow have I been slacking. Its Thanksgiving in Canada, for all of our American readers!!

I got my sex offender this past week - and the last 10 or so days have been preparing myself (work wise, and emotionally) for her arrival. Let me just say that I knew this past week was going to be stressful, but never in a million years could i have ever anticipated HOW stressful it was going to be. At one point, I actually had to leave the building becuase my heart was beating so hard, and my blood pressure was so high from stress, that if I didnt leave at that exact moment, i would have quit. This has resulted in me spending countless hours walking up and down the beach, and registering myself in a kickboxing class that starts tomorrow. What better way to eliminate stress than to punch shit?

MORE es-whatever's called!!! 2 in fact - and i feel like we've crossed the dozen mark for ex-whatever's calling me this year out of the blue. Although....one of these 2 was the dude from a couple of weeks ago. Im not questioning it anymore. They're calling. Ive had the same email and phone number for years (email since the premiere date of Futurama - yes my memory is that good. We went to a club that same night that it was on, and the email address was born that day)...and phone for 10 years. So. What can i expect. I either change those things, or live with it. Its easier to ignore them than change things around.

And what would the PP family household be without a few thanksgiving crises??? As you may well know - my grandpa passed away July 3. He was HUGE on family dinners and always drove to NH, or MA to get lobsters for any ocassion. It would have been his 80th bday on the 5th - which is also my neice Chloe's Bday. My gran wanted to have something just for him (on the 3rd which was also the 3 month of his death - so sort of like a vigil dinner I suppose).....Anyway, what did we have? Lobster.

We're not an especially clumsy family (except me - im a massive klutz)....but my one neice broke the pedal off my grans elipitical machine, my other neice was swinging her chair back and forth and my fingers were over the edge of the counter - she slammed her chair into my finger. I jumped back and my hand hit the bread basket, which went flying everywhere. The crumbs on the lobster thermadore lit on fire, and burnt to a crisp, and one of my gran's bowls "Fell" off the counter and shattered into a million peices - while we were eating i might add.

Last night - my mom was making turkey - and shes sick and cant smell at all - but said that the turkey was going bad from the inside out, and ran out 3 hours before everyone came over and bought a new turkey. Then my gran was taking a pie out of the oven, and she said it was knocked out of her hands and smashed all over the floor - causing her to make a new one.

Its all total coincidence - but we all laughed and said that grandpa's pissed we're having dinners without him.

PP's week in review.

2010-09-30T11:17:00.004-04:00

What a crazy week (and by week, i mean Monday to Wednesday night!)

I went to my first baseball game last night! That was exciting....im not really a fan of team sports, but my friend is moving back to Australia in January, and she's trying to cram every bit of the Tdot into her last couple of months.

So i took the day off, and headed to meet her for dinner at Oliver and Bonacini's Canteen, which was delish. - And at this point, might I add that I ALSO took the street car for the first time by myself - I have only taken it 2 other times with LD and Miss A....but i navigated the queen street car (LOL) from one end to the other, and survived. Next I shall tackle buses...but i digress.

I went to a baseball game. Jays and Yankees. It ended up being "Thank you Cito Gaston" night. I guess he was retiring. So there was a lengthy ceremony before the game started, and they handed out these Cito Gaston memorial things to everyone at the game. My Aussie friend things is great since we got e-tickets instead of stubs, which she would have saved....I told her i'll probably sell mine on Ebay.

Other than that, ARod (who i didnt know other than from dating celebrities)...is apparently a baseball player! And he played last night. Everyone started booing when he walked on the field, and i was like "Who's that??? And why does everyone hate him?" My Aussie explained in depth about his scandalous ways, and by the end of the night, i was booing right along with everyone else.

It was a fun, and freezing night. I had a great time - and wasnt even annoyed by any of the annoying people! Which i might add is a real first for me. We ended up winning 8-3, and I gave my left over pizza to a person on the street after the game.

Quick note - When its late at night, and there are lots of drunk and annoying people on the street car, pull out your book on profiling serial rapists and killers. AND make notes in the margin. I promise...no one will sit beside you no matter how full the street car is.

On a positive note...

2010-09-26T12:54:00.002-04:00

I feel like ive been so BLAH about men the past week - but me and the quasi-someone i was sort of "whatevering" with..have ended. So I think that 7 "blah days" are usually reserved, but I dont necessarily use them all. And ive decided against using them all - although, the past couple of weeks have been sort of stupid. Its fall - im moving on.

you know...i was out for a walk the other day...and it was about 8pm...getting darkish....but enough so that people had their inside lights on...and as I was walking by - I was looking left and right and was able to see right into peoples houses...and started making mental commentary on the way they decorated. like "love that lamp"...or "omg i would never have that picture in my house".

For the record, i was not being a creeper - or skulking around peoples yards peeking in their windows. I never left the sidewalk, and I never slowed my pace...this was just what I could see as I walked past....and anyone whos been to Toronto, knows that the houses are really close together and not too far back from the sidewalk - so relatively easy to look in when you're walking by.

Does anyone else do this? LOL..oh man, i hope someone else does this....

Blah...

2010-09-22T20:50:00.002-04:00

you know...if it werent for my awesome amazing friends, id be so fucking miserable and utterly unbearable to be around.

Fortunately, since I wouldnt have any friends, no one would be annoyed by that...except me - being annoyed at how fucking miserable I am.

Men SUCK.

That is all.

The summer of the ex continues - The story of DICK.

2010-09-16T13:09:00.005-04:00

After I posted about how all of my exes are contacting me, it hasnt stopped. It has actually continued. Another one has (J)...but funny enough, another dude that I hung out with just this year (R), has come out of the wood works, and ran into someone i know yesterday.

I get home from work last night at 2am. There is a frantic message from a friend on my answering machine, who knows that I am working, but call her as soon as I get home, I wont believe what happened. She doesnt care what time it is. So I call and she launches right into how she ran into DICK at San Remos, and blah blah blah...he wouldnt shut up about me.

It was a really confusing relationship - we were GREAT friends, had everything in common...music, movies, job, likes, dislikes...we were just really good friends. I just wasnt attracted to him. I genuinely liked him as a person because we had so much in common, but it just didnt work out. Here is his account of why.

He told her: We usually went for drinks

Truth? We never went for drinks. Because we both worked shift - we usually ended up walking up and down the beach between 1am and 2am chatting and spending time together before he would get back in his car and go home.

He told her: She had feelings for me that I did not return

Truth? On one of our walks, I told him that I was not attracted to him in that way, but that I really liked hanging out with him.

He told her: PP crossed too many boundaries

Truth? He asked me to move in with him, and said that he thought we were going to get married. Hence the "Im not attracted to you in that way" conversation.

He told her: "I called and called, but she never returned my phone calls, so i gave up. I wasnt going to force her to talk to me"

LOL!!! TRUTH??? After this beach conversation, he stopped calling me, even though he wanted to be friends. I called and texted him over a 2 week period - he never responded once. It sucked going from talking and hanging out everyday for 2 months, to absolutely no contact. And you know...i never actually heard from him again...until now.

What a delusional asshole. Why do guys twist and distort the truth to make themselves look better?? You know, I almost want to call him - but since my "never keep any phone numbers or email addresses" rule is always in effect, I cant...and good riddance.

Fall = PP's happy time

2010-09-12T14:31:00.002-04:00

I have had the MOST wonderful weekend filled with great friends and great laughs. Its tough to have the same readers that Miss A does - cause when we spend the weekend together, we will most probably blog about the same thing.

We went to the Duke on Friday...best pub in the city. And then we went to the Veggie Food Festival down at the harborfront on Saturday. (I know that she will blog about these things, but I REALLY hope that she blogs about her big Celebrity sighting!!!) I saw Scott Speedman - but no one really gives a shit about him anymore.

I got the BEST Indian spices and made the most amazing Madras Masala chicken with coconut milk. The owner of the business I bought the spices from gave me some great tips on how to cook this and how to make it really in the most basic way. It turned out so good that I actually had to eamil her and tell her how fantastic it turned out.

I love this time of year, and how its perfect jacket or big hoodie weather. I havent heard anything about that job yet, but its only been a week. Im seriously hoping I hear something. Its so wierd though becuase the website says that the results of my application will be posted by October 3rd. Im wondering if that means that I wont hear anything until then - but I really hope that its before.

PP Has a problem

2010-09-03T21:17:00.002-04:00

Its true...its happened....PP has started watching TV.

TLC specifically - and i have a massive problem now. Because of Cake Boss and Say Yes to the Dress...All I want to do is eat cake, and shop for wedding dresses.

Vent Vent Vent

2010-09-02T12:14:00.003-04:00

Im at work. I hate today.

I walked into a screaming match about medication with a very demanding client that I have, who has a very severe sense of entitlement.

I have bitten my tongue for 2 years and just looked away when she went off on her rants. Not today my friends. Today..she felt the wrath of PP. I went up one side of her and down the other - about her attitude and disrespect towards staff...that she has no sense of boundaries, and that shes asking us to breach confidentiality. And then, she called me a liar - on top of ALL of these things that have already been addressed 100 times each...I mean, Im very strict, but very fair. I give praise when it is due, and I give consequences when they are required and never other than that.

Today this client pushed the limits and was screaming in my face calling me a liar - which I have spent some time on gathering information to prove that I wasnt lying...and i didnt lie. Bottom line. She only hears what she wants to hear. I gave her a very stern verbal caution that if she ever talks to me, or anyone here like that again, there will be consequences and I promised that they would be severe.

*getting the proof today that I wasnt lying about what she said I was lying about makes me feel great - but its all for nothing. she wont listen to it...especially if she knows that shes wrong.

On the other side of the same work coin. Im applying for a new job. Cross your fingers kids!! this one would set me up for life.

PP has it out with Revenue Canada

2010-08-28T08:59:00.003-04:00

We unified our taxes here in the good old province of Ontario (and maybe nationally..i have no idea, i dont really keep up with the other provinces or territories). We used to pay 2 taxes, but now we have the HST (harmonized sales tax) which is a whopping 13%.

The government issued HST transition credits to people living here who made under 80K/year, which is me. Its $100 3 times. I know it isnt much, but it pays for my plane ticket to Florida in November.

Anyway - I didnt get it. So my accountant encourages me to call and find out why. The following is an abridged, but 100% accurate conversation of the conversation I have with Revenue Canada.

RC: How can i help you?
PP: I didnt get the transionary credit - can you tell me why?
RC: You are not a resident of Canada
PP: ....Pardon?
RC: You are considered an immigrant to this country by RevCan.
PP:...Pardon?
RC: Going back to 2004, you left the country for an extended period of time, and never notified us that you were back
PP: But - I split taxes for both countries in the year that I was gone, and have paid taxes every year in this country since I came back. And checked "Ontario" on the page where it asks you to state what province you live in - AND have received all tax credits over the past 6 years. What does my address say sir?
RC: Mam - if you dont stop screaming at me - I will end this call

*at this point, it is valid to say that I was not screaming, and did not have attitude - my mom can verify this - this guy was just a total douche*

PP: im actually not screaming - what does my mailing address say sir? Where does it say that I live?
RC: doesnt matter - you could live out of the country and be using a mailing address for Canada
PP: Are you accusing me of committing Fraud?
RC: Stop screaming at me (Again, not screaming)
PP: can you please start recording the conversation, to prove that I am not screaming?
RC: No, I cannot do that - It is illegal to record calls at Revenue Canada
PP: but i'm asking you to
RC: it is illegal
PP: A friend of mine is a lawyer there - i'll be sure to follow up on that

PP: So - im an immigrant to Canada - How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to tell you that I was living in canada - isnt my tax return enough? I go shopping every month in the states, does that mean that I have to notify RC of my return to the country everytime I go shopping and come back. Like, how was I supposed to know to call you guys, especially since i've been submitting tax returns yearly - and all of my employers are in Ontario, and my return SAYS that I live in Ontario
RC: Mam - stop screaming at me - you are not considered a resident of the country.
PP: Im not screaming - im asking. If you want me to scream, I will. But I digress - is this accurate, am I an immigrant to Canada everytime I go shopping in the states?
RC: This is the last time im telling you to stop screaming at me - or I will end this call

PP: Do you have a name, and employee number?
RC: Yes I do
PP: Can I have it?
RC: gives me his name and employee number - Why do you want those things?
PP: To file an official complaint against you of course
RC: *his voice gets frantic at this point* - Why would you do that? Why would you file a complaint against me? Because im telling you the truth
PP: No - because I asked questions, you didnt answer them, or tell me how to fix this, all you did was accuse me of Fraud and screaming. Is your uspervisor there?
RC: we dont have supervisors
PP: you dont have a boss? Who do you answer to in the day?
RC: I dont know - Why are you going to file a complaint against me
PP: Because quite frankly, you're an asshole.

Thats when i slammed the phone down...although, i probably wont file one.

So much for year of the Tiger - More like Year of the Ex!

2010-08-22T10:15:00.009-04:00

I dont know whats happened this year to me - or if this is a common thing with all people - but I have had a substantial number of ex's (Ex everythings, boyfriends etc....) call me up to see how im doing, and to try to rekindle - or not, just legitimately call to see how im doing - whatever we had before. From March of this year, until just this past Friday - my phone has been a hotbed of ex texts and calls - the curse of having the same cell phone number for almost 10 years I suppose.

I know that this doesnt seem like much - but i'm prepared to follow up with some examples. Every story is true - and I have indeed blogged about all of these "men" (and I use the term loosely) before.

E - We went on 2 dates, 2 years ago. I'm out for lunch with Miss A, and start getting these random texts to which I reply "Who is this" (All of them go that way, i never save phone numbers)...and he tells me, and asks me to readd him on msn - cause i never save email addresses either. I add him, and am reminded of how hot he is, and we've been hanging out since March. He annoyed me 2 years ago - but we're both older now, and its great this time. We've had some good times.

M - We became friends a month before me and someone else broke up last year. I knew that M was moving to San Fran in September - so when me and the other dude broke up in July, me and M hung out for 2 months, until he left. We both knew it would be very short term. A WEEK after E texts me out of the blue, I get a call from M, hes moving back to town he wants to hang out and see where things go - we catch up, but nothing comes of it. Although, I get random texts asking if he can come over - i never answer them.

M - We had a few dates, but were better friends. I was much more attracted to who i pictured when i talked to him on the phone, than i was when we were together. It didnt work, but he ended up moving to Montreal I guess. Earlier this year, I get a text "Who's this" is my reply, and he proceeds to tell me - and that he is in town for a wedding the next day, can we please go for dinner - he really misses me, etc etc etc. I never did, but still....

M - my ex...from when i was 25. Finds me on FB and says that he misses me - and that he feels like he's been a terrible friend - im a great fantastic etc person and he wants to reconnect. He calls (cause I have the same number still)...we breifly catch up. Neither one of us ever calls the other again, although I have gotten some FB messages about how i havent called again...

S - A Cop...from last year. We met through work...we go on a date, we go on a second date. At this point, he tells me that he's married and just looking for something on the side. I get up and leave. I get a text message last week "Who's this" is my reply...its S. He's wondering if i've reconsidered. I never responded.

G - A guy I had something with 9 years ago. NINE YEARS AGO....he got married, we sort of kept in touch. He's busy, im busy - we havent talked in 2 years. I deleted him off of everything. FRIDAY, he finds me on msn. I guess I deleted him, but didnt block him. He's divorced now. His first question is - When can i come visit.

G - another cop....who i suspected was married but could never prove....calls me out of the blue after a few months, and asks me to hang out again.

My question to all of these people was - "Why do you still have my phone number"...which I think is a fair, and legitimate question. Seriously. This isnt like, last week we talked, and got into a fight, and want to reconnect. This is YEARS of not talking, and people still having my phone number. Every time I asked that question, I always got the same response, that ran something along the lines of "Just incase I wondered about you". I never save phone numbers or email addresses - once you're gone out of my life, you're gone. If I hold onto your contact info - i'll probably use it. So i get rid of it.

I dont WANT to change my phone number, as i've had it for so long, and everyone has it - but seriously. There are some exes that i definitely dont want to hear from. Does this happen to anyone else?

Saturday Driving

2010-08-21T09:44:00.005-04:00

I came to my parents this weekend to go to the drive in with LD. (I invited Ash...but no reply yet. her poor ankle. :o) I also came here to pay some bills that come to my parents house that I have to pay in person. Its a shitty system - but im such a transient gypsy, that im usually never in an address for more than a year. No point in changing all of my mail until I settle.

Heres one thing I dont understand about drivers - WHY do you drive in the fast lane, if you're not passing anyone? Its such a simple concept - pass, and get over. Simple. I drive fast. I wont lie - Of all the times i ever have driven in the past 16 years since getting my license (EEK!!!), Im SHOCKED that I havent gotten more speeding tickets. IN FACT - the only speeding ticket i've ever gotten in my entire life, was just last year - for going 45km/h in a 40 zone. Seriously. The ticket was $27.50.

Of all the times that ive driven - and the people who know me who read this blog can attest that I am indeed an "Exciting" driver - im counting my blessings that i've only ever been pulled over once, and 5km over, isnt even speeding. But I digress....

I left my apartment this morning, and drove down to my parents - at 8am-ish. Traffic. No joke. So of course it takes me almost 2 hours to get here, but as im driving, and hitting pockets of traffic, I finally get to the end of each jam, to find 2 or 3 cars driving relatively the same speed across all lanes. 80km/h. Sigh. So after passing all of these idiots finally, I cant help but think (as i listen to the Cult - which also increases my average driving speed), that these three people were the reason that I was just stuck in traffic for 35 minutes.

This post also reminds me of a great story I used as my facebook status a couple of months ago - it reads something like this( I cant find it): I raced you all the way to Niagara, but I saw the cop first - I cant even imagine how expensive your ticket was going as fast as you were.

Pass - get over - repeat.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

2010-08-18T22:47:00.006-04:00

Notable things that happened on PP's drive to work today:

Police were directing traffic at Dundas and Coxwell. I snapped a picture - but it turned out to be really boring of a cop standing in the middle of the intersection, so i decided to use this one instead - id say that that was a fairly accurate description of my drive to work this morning.

And as i sat there - for 19 minutes waiting for my turn to go - I couldnt help but wonder the following things about this poor bloke standing in the middle of it all.

1. Who do you have to piss off at the office to get this gig?

2. Why do they flip their hands around like the Queen of England...does it have to be so dramatic, and flippy...or can it be more solid, and less "look at me showing off my huge engagement ring"

I ALSO saw a rather large woman - who graced the intersection of Broadview and Dundas with her GIGANTIC braless boobs, that hung down to her hipbone at least. Best part - she was wearing a shirt that looked like this, and everything was visible. I did not take a picture.

I got to Dundas and River - which is ALWAYS exciting because this is the first intersection of Regent Park. And right at this corner - there is a house they always talk about on the Dean Blundell Morning show. Its the house that put their inside table outside on the front lawn. There's usually a bunch of people hanging out smoking - doesnt matter what hour. Which also means there there are usually cops. At 11:30am, it was a full out rocking party, complete with music, coolers of beer, and cops.

And then I got to Sherbourne and Dundas - the worst, and most dangerous intersection in Toronto (as rated this past year in the newspaper). And of course the usual riff raff were out - Woman holding her crack pipe and screaming at man - and then man chasing her down the street. Another man carrying a womans backpack, screaming at each other - and man throwing the backpack in the street and telling her to carry it herself (she couldnt I imagine from the 2 cases of beer she was holding). Cops at this corner too.

After this, I turned on to sherbourne to get to work - and all of the excitement stopped. They werent even filming on Sherbourne today - but I heard on the radio it was closed between Dundas and Gerrard for a police investigation. I either missed the action, or drove right through the crime scene....

Isnt Toronto GREAT?!?!

Correction

2010-08-16T18:10:00.002-04:00

Please note that I spelled Missy Agravation's name wrong....and am pissed at myself becuase when i said that she was an awesome chica and all around party girl - I should have added that she's known for rubbing bad charms with holy fingers.

Dammit. I must have been sick when i wrote that - to let that one get away from me.

Im hot..and stuff.

2010-08-13T00:08:00.005-04:00

Ive been working on a new post - which i described to Miss Ash tonight, and she laughed and told me to blog it in parts since it would be TOO long to do in one post. Its taking me a long time to come up with parts to the post - but once you see it you'll understand why. And i dont want to blog it in parts - because it will give me a reason to review it and recognize that i forgot things i wanted to say....and whats the point of fixing part 1 if youre already on part 3?

Please note a new addition to my blog roll. An awesome Chica, and all around Party Girl: Missy Aggrivation.

I have the stupid Dog wedding tomorrow. Im working for the day, and then headed to Niagara for the reception so im actually missing the dog part - but my brother in law is the professional photographer for this wedding...so i'm sure the pictures, will be ridiculous. And available here once i get my hands on them.

The only shitty thing, besides a dog in a tutu leading the wedding party - i cant fathom how i am sick...AGAIN. But im sitting here, unable to taste or breathe with kleenex shoved up my nose to prevent it from dripping - and it stops the sniffling if you only have your mouth to breath through.

i know. im hot. Get over it.

August

2010-08-06T09:13:00.002-04:00

Ok - So after this week's freak out - ive decided that its time to get my ass in gear and get back to what i planned ohh....2 months ago.

I havent even TOUCHED a book....ive been working out 1 day a week instead of 5....ive been eating cupcakes (although, it seems to be the theme of this summer and everyone is blogging cupcakes!!! so i dont feel so bad about that one.) I havent taken one road trip....etc...etc...etc...It was supposed to be the summer of PP...and so far, it SUCKS. Except I have a really nice tan.

I even put off the new guy - and explained that if he didnt want to wait, that there would be other hot doctors around. (not so much in those words...but i dont plan on hearing from him ever again...)

I do realize that its August 6 already but better late than never.

One thing i DID do - was go to Harry Potter Exhibit at the Science Center. This has been on my "To Do" list since April. If you are a fan of the movies, this exhibit was amazing!!! There were so many movie props, they recreated Hagrid's hut, and had an exact full size replica of the entrance to the Great Hall with all the Decrees on it from the 5th movie! I try to buy the exhibit book if something I go to was REALLY great, to have it as a momento. I definitely bought this one. (The only exhibit that I went to, that I never found an exhibit book for was the Clash exhibit at the rock and roll hall of fame a couple of years ago...)

On another aside - My family has been talking about going to Florida for my birthday this year - now i usually go to Vegas with a friend of mine to celebrate both of our birthdays, but shes busy this year, and my family was talking about Florida. I have been asking when, so that i could book the time off work - but no one could seem to get themselves organized.

I open my email the other day, to find a ticket confirmation. I'll be in orlando from the 29th of October until the 5th of November. Halloween night at Universal afterhours??? YES PLEASE. Harry Potter theme Park??? YES PLEASE!!! Florida on mom and dad's tab??? YES PLEASE!

So...things arent ALL bad. But Florida in 3 months? Im done with the cupcakes....at least until i get back.

Fuck Everything.

2010-08-04T02:59:00.002-04:00

Fuck my last post...Fuck Karma. Karma is bullshit.

After I posted that - I had the WORST day at work....fuck people who lie straight to your face. Fuck people who steal. Fuck incident reports. Fuck 12.5 hour days. Fuck sunburns....

OH. And Fuck smashing my knee off the desk and getting an immediate bruise.

Tuesday Shenanigans

2010-08-03T18:51:00.005-04:00

Following up a long weekend - where I spent a lot of time doing the following (in no particular order): Cooking, Cleaning, Shopping, hanging out with friends (And I met someone im interested in getting to know better - so we'll see where that goes....)

I followed up the weekend with Great conversations and a short, but effective meeting at work today (even though im working 4-12 this week, I had to come in 9-11 for staff meeting).

After this - I went home and hooked up with a friend for a walk on the beach. On my way there - I found a gorgeous diamond ring laying on the street. I picked it up, and looked up the stamp inside. Its legit people. So i posted it on Craigslist, and Kijiji. So if any of your friends were irresponsible with their diamond engagement rings in the beaches area of Toronto, let me know. I might have their ring.

After that, I went walking on the beach with my friend. After I went home, and felt my face getting cunchy. I left for work and by 6pm, my face is the same color as a tomato. I seriously look like Tickle Me elmo right now. Sigh...and worst of all - i feel sick to my stomach - so im thinking too much sun. And if I feel sick tomorrow too - im calling in sick.

Thursday im off cause I am headed to the Science Center for the Harry Potter exhibit. and have a number of people coming into the city for this exciting adventure.

Friday I have my first counselling session for this. I have spoken to a number of people about my work problem, and all have agreed that counselling is the way to go just to wrap my head around how to maintain a better level of professionalism.

I think that about sums up my week - next week I will have my first date with "the new guy"....i TRIED explaining my goal list to him. He doesnt want to wait until September....and neither do I. Hes pretty cute. Wish me luck!

Then I came into work, and bought a scratch ticket, which I havent done in a year easy. My lucky symbol on the card was a diamond ring - and I won 4 dollars! Yippee....does anyone believe in signs???

Things.

2010-07-28T21:13:00.004-04:00

1. Today was my first ever venture to Good Will - I was accompanying a client who is restricted in her acess to the community. But as she shopped - I found a BRAND NEW Kate Spade purse that retails for almost 200 dollars....for $4.99. SCORE.

2. Wretched last names. Do we date people with them...how do we feel about them? would you ever date someone with the last name "Pooslop"?

3. I am being antagonized constantly by a variety of people. UGH.

4. I hate all Mac products. BOO to the evil empire.

5. I hate being allergic to red dye. I went to get some of that Crystal Light Raspberry - hoping that it wasnt pink, but I cant even drink it....sucks.

6. Work still sucks.

That is all. Proceed with your day.

PP has work problems....

2010-07-24T08:25:00.004-04:00

So after my grandfather died - the dude I was hanging out with since March, turned out to be a douche, and that ended...and then someone broke into my car and stole my work binder that I take to prison, that has heaps of confidential information. All in all - not a good 2 weeks. But i'm moving on......Even though I said no dudes from june to september - this guy was in before that took place. So in all reality, I should have said no NEW dudes. But I digress....

I have a new client on my caseload - a sex offender. Im anxious about this. I sort of compartmentalize my clients by their charges - and if their charge is murder, or fraud, or theft, or importing or whatever - I sort of have a mental rolodex of things, and programs they can take part in. But sex offenders....i've never worked with someone who had this charge before, and I never thought my job was hard. I've never stressed over a client until now.

Here are the million dollar questions: How do I put my personal feelings about their charge aside? How do I look past their charge, and help them out, when I don't want to? How do I not have bias and judgement against someone like this?

Im professional, ridiculously professional (except for having the binder stolen which wasn't my fault)....In November, a client who commit murder went to stab me in the rib cage, and I deflected it, and they ended up slashing my hand open for fucks sake - and we had lunch together on wednesday. I know how to be professional.....

But sex offenders make me nervous. And this one is on the worse end.

Im considering going to see someone professionally. Just to get another professional opinion of maybe how to deal with my anxiety over having them as a client, and to help me put aside my biases. But in the end, I don't know.

If I think about how I compartmentalize my clients by their charges, I'm nervous because I don't know the community supports to offer this client. But if I think on a personal level, i'm nervous, because I don't know if I can put my personal feelings aside to do my job in a productive, and nonjudgemental way.

any suggestions?

Crisis Averted....

2010-07-18T16:36:00.002-04:00

YIPPEE!!! all fixed. Thanks internet stranger!!!

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

2010-07-18T15:29:00.003-04:00

I Pushed a button to see what a new template would be like. it CHANGED everything. my blogroll is gone - I dont know what any of your addresses are, and I have NO idea how to put it back or edit HTML, or do anything like that.

I changed my blog to this stupid grass, by accident, and it fucked everything up.

Please understand that I didnt even know what html is. I dont know how to change it, edit it, add it, I dont know where it goes - HTML might as well be Anciet hebrew + rocket science.

I know i know...you get it. Its hard. HELP!!! LOL

Sigh to July

2010-07-13T13:05:00.003-04:00

I cant believe its July already. From June 17 to yesterday, the entire month has disappeared - wrought with trips to the hospital, Canada Day shenanigans (that involved the combination of cotton candy and beer - which tastes as gross as it sounds....), and a funeral.

The death of my grandfather was very fast and unexpected. I worked 3 days from June 17 to yesterday. This will be my first week back at work in almost a month!!!

My poor goal list has taken a serious hit. I havent done anything of what ive supposed to have done. I havent read any books....I havent been working out....i have eaten sort of healthy, and I havent gained a pound, which is a testament to eating well enough - for now. but worst of all...i havent gotten rid of the dudes. I started out really well with that, but it sort of went downhill, and have been sort of "whatevering" with someone. BUT - it ended recently when he expressed certain opinions which i did NOT agree with.

However, ive got a renewed sense of clarity in regards to my job, and feel refreshed and stress free. So the next little while is all about regrounding myself and getting myself back on track....and catching up on a month of life that I missed.

Its Summer!!!

2010-06-29T22:42:00.003-04:00

thanks for all your "well wishing" on my last post - things are looking worse than the last time i posted - which explains the MIA.

I went to a wedding shower on sunday - for my cousin Big Al....the one with the dog in her wedding - did I blog about that??? Lets see shall we? I did not. although i could have sworn i had.... Prepare yourselves ladies and gents...this one's going to blow you away.

my cousin is getting hitched in August. Im not the biggest fan of her fiance - weve had "words" before - and gotten face to face in anger...blocked each other off FB (the horror!!!)....literally havent spoken more than 2 words to each other since Christmas 2009.

But they're engaged - im happy for my cousin - but as the date draws nearer, the plans are being finalized - and when I heard about the wedding my first thought was "ok, ive got 8 months to get out of going to this thing"....

Turns out they're getting married on a Friday. Im scheduled to work - my manager is off, and one of my coworkers is off - so PP cant make it, until about 8pm...im time for dinner, but I get to miss the churchy bits.

But the best part of this ceremony - is the decision that they've made about who's leading their wedding party. - Their 5 pound Pomapoo...Muffin Top. sigh

Muffin's leading the wedding, and is the flower girl/bridal party. There is a real maid of honor, but the dog is the main attraction....AND not only this...my cousin called the biggest news paper in Toronto, told them about it - and they published an article about her, and her dog.

Who else's family is crazy???

2010-06-23T09:11:00.002-04:00

I can't believe that its already been a week since I blogged. (considering im just coming off of a year not blogging, a week should feel like nothing, but ive noticed)

Im supposed to be on vacation this week - but my grandfather decided that he's had enough of this life, and has found himself in the hospital with a variety of cancers, and its only a matter of days.

So, my trip to Myrtle beach (I decided against sleeping outside on the Apalachian Trail, but will still do a day hike) has been postponed. Nothing better than summer on a hot beach, thats 100 degrees your entire vacation.

I love the heat - I love that hot summery haze, and being exhausted from the sun. Laying around by the pool - with chips, diet coke, and suntan lotion that smells like coconuts. Swimming occassionally - and then upstairs for a mid afternoon nap before getting ready for dinner. Hitting the town for a few drinks and some food, calling it a quasi early night, beccuase you have to wake up by 8 to get the good deck chairs, and have to prepare yourself for another day of laying around doing nothing.

I think - after all of this sadness and stress with my grandfather is over, I shall take a real vacation, and not one thats classified by sitting in the hospital day after day. I'm actually really glad that im off this week, and have that time to spend there saying good bye.

I'll have the Scrapple please...

2010-06-16T21:12:00.004-04:00

I recently heard of this edible monstrosity, and had to say that id never heard of it before Monday.

SCRAPPLE -Any guesses??? And no googling...

Scrapple, as the name suggests, is the scrap bits of the pig that didnt quite meet the requirements for hotdog (which I always thought were fairly low on the standards scale).

The left over floor scraps of the pig are deliciously pressed together into a brick of meat that looks worse than spam. Apparently it is best served with Ketchup and pancakes.

What I don't understand...is that if its the bits that NO ONE would eat - why would marketing them together as a brick of quasi edible meat, make it any more appealing.....

I dont know, what do you guys think?

Are we encouraging this - that looks oddly enough like dog food - becuase it utilizes all parts of the pig (there was also a chicken and beef scrapple i believe) - or do we think that the scrap bits of the animal, are best left to be consumed by the garbage?

The Story of Alex

2010-06-12T23:22:00.005-04:00

We met when I was 19 (Summer, 1997). He, a radio DJ in Windsor, living in Detroit. Me, a summer student at university after being kicked out for not going to class.

We met, we clicked long story short - we dated until November 20 1998. We didnt see one another very often. I was young and didnt care. He lived in Detroit, and only made it to Windsor for his radio show, and other performances (singer of a band). We saw one another, mmmm....maybe 3 days a week. He talks about music, bands, porn, travelling, and has this obsession with pausing songs and sipping coffee VERY loudly on the air, and has an even more absurd obsession with talking about heroin.

He introduced me to the Psychadelic Furs and I LOVED them. I would lay in bed with "The Ghost in You" on repeat until I fell asleep, and would wake up to it even still. It was perfect - there wasnt anything I didnt like about that song, and for a long time, it was my favorite.

October 1998 - Enter Geoff, friend of Alex's, who also had a radio show. Geoff and myself establish a tight fast friendship, and he lives close, I see him more than 3 days a week. Geoff likes to talk about alcohol, Pink Floyd, concerts, and Channel 99 (White noise) on his tv.

One night, me and Geoff are talking, and he says something about Alex, and heroin - but certainly implies that he is addicted to this drug, and not just a fan of talking about it. I inquire further to find out that its true - Alex has a "recreational" heroin habit.

November 20, 1998. I confront Alex - who admits his favorite past time, and informs me that he injects inbetween his toes, being careful to hide it from the world, never used more than 2 or 3 days a week, and never used on days he was seeing me. This is too much - I dont want to date a drug addict. We break up.

Skip to November 20, 1999. I get a phone call in the middle of the night that says that Alex has passed away of a heroin overdose - a year to the day of the end of our relationship.

I stop listening to the Psychadelic Furs for 10 years.

Im heartbroken, there is no closure and I immediately want to apologize for not being more supportive, or a better person - and forget all of my opinions about sleeping with an IV drug user.

10 years go by, and I rekindle my romance with the Psychadelic Furs and I have forgotten how much i love their music - But I cannot bring myself to listen to "The Ghost in You" for obvious reasons.

I find out in April that the PF's are coming to town. Me and LD decide to go. June 8, 2010 - we're at the concert, and I say "I hope they play the ghost in you"....even though, I sort of wish that they dont. I havent heard it since 1998.

But they do - And hearing that song live, was one of the most touching, and amazing moments of my life. And I immediately felt at peace with myself, and the part of me, that still felt unresolved in regards to Alex, was healed that night.

One of the most amazing concerts...Ever.

No one bothered me at the concert, no one annoyed me - although there was this HORRIDLY drunk man, who was approximately 70, and he kept wobbling into other people, and i swear the guys beside us were going to punch him out. OH and of course, the crazy girl at the end of the night, who stomped on my foot, threw herself at me, apologizing, put her hands on both of my biceps, leaned in and said IM SO SORRY!!! To which I replied - yea, you stomped on my foot, and dont touch me, its hot in here.

She jumped to the side, grabbed some random stranger, switched spots with him, and dramatically pointed at me with both fingers and said "YOURE FUCKING CRAZY!!!".....After the concert ended, me and LD were discussing this - and I said "You know...she was wearing velvet. And IM the crazy one".

Quick updates

2010-06-07T18:06:00.003-04:00

I dont even remember the last time i posted - not that long ago....

BUT i'd like to point out the following fact:

I've been back to blogging long enough people!!! Readd me to your lists. and SHAME on you to those who havent yet....

Im off to see Psychadelic Furs and She Wants Revenge tomorrow with the lovely LD. I shall blog about how fantastic it was later this week.

Changing my style....

2010-06-06T12:08:00.003-04:00

im bored of this stupid backgroud - and lists on the side....everyone else's blogs are so fancy. Mine is dark and moody.

I dont know how to change ANYTHING on this site - my ex put it all together for me when i started writing it....5 years ago.

And since then, the ONLY thing that ive changed, is the background, but I copied and pasted the blog roll, just becuase I had no idea where it went, or anything like that.

I want a fancy background.....I want a fancy blogroll that says what your guys' posts are and how long ago you updated them. I want a change. Whos going to help me? LOL

Ive been having wacky dreams lately....last night, I dreamed that I wasnt allergic to dyes anymore, and ran right out and got a tattoo - of a big footprint that went diagonally across my left bicep. LD was with me - and when she asked why I got that tattoo (in my dream), I said "i dont know, i didnt really think it through - i should have gotten A Clockwork Orange symbol instead" (Long time readers know that this is my favorite movie...)

Oh well. At least I can get tattoos in my dreams....Now - onward with the tech support.

Day 1 of the list

2010-06-01T21:04:00.003-04:00

Its day 1 of my list. and i ALMOST ate a cookie today...becuase I forgot, and as my fingertips were a quarter inch away, something inside my head screamed at me, and i stopped just in time. Hold all applause to the end.

I am ALSO guy free as of today....I kicked out all the bad ones who were pissing me off, and told off all the ones who were dragging their feet in noncommital. This was really hard. I sorta like having the randoms around, but I figured if I really want to take some time to myself to figure out what I want, then this is the way it has to be. Some of them called me some CHOICE words, and there was a dramatic exchange with one of them, but its done. And im that much better off. I think my goal for the rest of 2010 is to determine whether or not there are REALLY any nice guys out there. Like sincerely nice - not just the kind of nice they have to be to get you to have sex with them.

Maybe my standards of people are too high - is it too much to ask to really expect to be treated the same way that you treat people?

My Own List...

2010-05-28T21:58:00.003-04:00

I find that Miss A has inspired me to make a list of my own....and since we've been friends a long time, I know that she's really worked hard on completing hers. However, instead of making a list as crazy as hers, Ive decided to make one just for the summer to see how it works out. And by summer, I mean June 1 to August 30.

Bring on the summer of the Unhinged Princess.....The official list:

1. Go to the gym 5 days a week, every week from June 1 until August 30. I worked out religiously from January 29 to April 4, 5 days a week - and loved the results. From April 4 to today, Ive sort of slacked....but havent gained a pound back. I just dont FEEL as good as I did, so back to working out - and i have a star chart on a calendar posted on the fridge.

2. Read all of the books on my bookshelf - no explanation needed

3. NO MORE CARBS OR JUNK. I swear - from January to April, I gave up all sugar, and all carbs, and now that im eating that stuff again, I feel GROSS....like on the inside....my insides feel gross. LOL. So thats it - Im done with the carbs again for the next few months

4. No more restaurant food - I SAY this one, but its tough when you're out drinking with friends, and they want to eat after the bar....One night, i went out with the girls, and Miss A brought me a to go container of cereal cause she knew i wouldnt eat at the restaurant. You want a GOOD friend?? Shes it. LOL

5. No more unnecessary spending - and by this I mean, no more trips to the convenience store during work for a diet coke...but this ALSO means that I can buy all of this stuff at the grocery store to make sure that I dont slip. Unnecessary spending means whatever you want it to - to me, it means snacks, and books - until I finish the books on my shelf, etc etc...when i finish the list i'll let you know what my "unnecessary" things were....

6. NO GUYS. None. I decided to swear off dating for the month of December, just to give myself a month to figure out what I wanted from a dude, and then when i thought i figured it out, i dated 2 guys who turned out to be what I thought i wanted...and they both turned out to be crap. So im going to give it another go.....Please note, that this one will be the hardest one on my list.....i really like having guys around. BUT im going to try my best.

7. Meet more people, and take myself out of my comfort zone - put myself into situations that I usually wouldnt be in. I dont know what that includes just yet - but I think All of these listed will be a part of that.

8. More road trips - which directly conflicts with no unnecessary spending, and no restaurant food, BUT, directly supports meeting more people and putting myself into situations i wouldnt usually be in. I do want to go to the Smithsonian this summer...ive been thinking about it for a while. Destinations include: Massachusetts to visit friends, DC, and Chicago - and watch out Yarautca, if i make it to Chicago, you have to meet me. (See # 7)

9. Spend more time with myself - on the beach - working on my tan, and reading.

10. Look into applying for, and finding a school that i want to do my PhD at.

11. Look into applying for my permanent residence card for the states.

12. Hike part of the Appalachian Trail - 100 miles. Im off for a week in June. This is what I want to do. 50 miles one way, and 50 miles back. Which means - CAMPING. Ive never slept outside....i would consider this a personal triumph.

This summer is dedicated to rediscovering my love of working out, eating healthy, spending less time inside, texting less, watching less movies, less time online, and spending more time figuring out what I want to do with my life. Im hoping that September 1 brings a renewed sense of clarity in the direction i'm taking my life. Im 32 now....im done fucking around.

Im lost in a[n] (Asian) Supermarket

2010-05-26T10:53:00.006-04:00

I thought that title would be a funny Clash reference...but I digress.

I LOVE the Asian Grocery Store....its so wacky, and full of stuff that baffles, yet amazes me - AND it also has my super yummy Thai Green Curry Paste, and cheap coconut milk. And so, with my computer fully fixed.....lets get on with the show (as promised.)

Durian - possibly one of the most bizarre, yet healthy, fruits around. Important points to know about this fruit:

1. Its Creamy - like custard. So if you're a texture person like I am, consider yourself warned.

2. It smells - REALLY bad....so bad infact, that it is banned on public transit in Singapore, Thailand, and im sure other countries as well (I only know those 2 becuase my sources provided me pictures with a durian inside of a big red circle with an X over top of it.)

3. If you can get past the smell (which is similar to sweaty feet and rotton eggs), it is quite delicious.

Exotic popsicles

I think these were Mung bean, red bean and tofu, green bean and tofu, and peanut flavor.

Dessert Sticks:

I tried to zoom in on the price tag, so that you could get the full effect...but I PROMISE you that the flavor is Cream Corn Soup.

Self Explanatory.

Stupid viruses

2010-05-19T13:11:00.002-04:00

So now that ive started blogging again, I have taken it upon myself to start carrying my camera EVERYWHERE to document the ridiculousness that accompanies my life on a daily basis. Unfortunately, last night, I attempted to find the 90210 season finale online, and got a MASSIVE virus that has disabled my antivirus software, and completely blocked me from getting online.

Who knew that 90210 was so damaging.....But in doing so, I am unable to blog about what I REALLY wanted to blog about. I'll have to leave it until next week im afraid....which means, that Miss A ALSO wont be able to blog about something that she wanted to...becuase I was supposed to send her the pictures.

So to the person who has given me a virus...and has only allowed me to email, blog, and FB from work - I hate you. Jerk.....spend your time doing something more productive than attacking the computers of those who want to watch 90210.

That is all.

Ridiculous BEYOND all that is rational

2010-05-17T09:19:00.004-04:00

Impossibly...I have lost my voice...AGAIN. So much for my 12 hour day at work. I couldnt even call in sick this morning.

Come in to work, and tell them in person that I am sick, and couldnt even call in on my own behalf - Check

Email supervisor and BEG her to rescheudle appointments for next week - Check

Find out that im working alone, all day, while the person on swing shift is on vacation - Check

Recognize that I can't do ANYTHING that is required of me for this shift, as I have a million phone calls to return, and cant even talk to the PO's about anything that I need to talk about - Check

Text all of my relief staff on their cell phones trying to cover my shift - Check

Keep your fingers crossed - if I cant talk to ANYONE today, and no one covers my shift, its going to be an utter nightmare in here.

VACAY is Ok

2010-05-14T13:18:00.004-04:00

Im back from a much needed week in Vancouver/Seattle with my loveliest of lovelies...H, and his delightful partner, and equally gracious host, P.

I had no voice, from the day that I got to Vancouver (Friday) until the day before I left to come back to Ontario (Wednesday). Nice way to spend a vacation trying to catch up.....I FB'ed my dilemma 4 days in a row, to which I got a number of "LUCKY H & P" comments. Assholes.

It got me to thinking about how much I communicate - Verbally that is - and how im really at a loss when i cant. I mean sure, i text (As i typed those 5 words, i got 3 texts), and provide every other daily FB updates, email, etc....but I REALLY talk a lot....and when i mean a lot...its a lot. And not only do i talk a lot...i can talk pretty fast sometimes - especially when im revved about something.

I like talking, not only to hear my own voice, but because I think im fairly interesting, and all of my friends are fascinating - so there's never really a lull in conversation. Ive known Miss A for 32 years.....we've never really run out of things to talk about (although, let me just say this. For the past few months, a lot of our conversations have revolved around SOMETHING associated with facebook...and what nerds we are.) This topic disgusts, and amuses me at the same time - which reminds me Ash, i need you to sign in later to do a C.S. LOL!!!!

I think that I prefer one to one face to face interaction..and im a big phone person - and a super multitasker. I met someone a while ago....and when we introduced ourselves he looked at me and said "Well now what? I require engaging conversation"...and from that point ive always had to start my conversations with some CRAZY story that happened to me.

Like for example - I fly into vancouver - the lady on the plane beside me sees that im reading a book about the last hangings in Canada, and asks me how it is. I explain what I do for a living, and she makes the connection, since I work with people in conflict with the law. Turns out shes a foster mom, and the conversation turns, inevitably to children's aid, and foster care.

After the plane, I get onto the sky train, and im looking at a hang nail that i have. I have nails, just not especially long ones, but long enough to paint. And the lady sitting beside me taps me on the leg and says "You know...I used to bite my nails like that too"....to which i put all five fingers out, and show her my nails and say "Ummm...i dont actually bite them" and she looks at me, horrified, and gets off at the next stop.

And then i go out for dinner with H & P, and we're walking back to their house, and a man jumps in front of us, throws his arms open and screams "I LOVE YOU GUYS"....to which i walk past his arms and keep going without even looking twice.

What do you guys think is appropriate in terms of conversation? Do you feel the need to jump in and put in your two cents when you see someone reading a book that youve read, or wearing a shirt of a band that you love, or is debating renting a movie that you hated? I do that all the time...but I never stopped to consider that the other person, might not care....how self-centered of me....because usually when that happens, and someone interjects their opinion, i can honestly say that I only care 50% of the time.

the rebirth of a new love....

2010-05-07T00:42:00.003-04:00

I havent loved Nine Inch Nails since Pretty Hate Machine, becuase as far as i was concerned, they'd never write a better song than Ringfinger.....and to me, they havent.

I always liked Trent Reznor, hes a musical genius.....but i was so disappointed in him after PHM....until now.

the newest Trent Reznor, post NIN music was released on May 4 - A Drowning - from his new band How to Destroy Angels, with his wife singing. And its fantastic!

Ive been such a "poopooer" of NIN and Trent since PHM....so for me to say that i REALLY like this, says a lot. Its really really REALLY amazing.

Now, lets see if i can post a video here.....Yea, I have no idea how you guys do that. But the link to the song is here. If you hate it, im sorry for recommending it. But if you love TR, or NIN, you'll love it. I promise.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK - You may find this highly offensive.

2010-05-04T08:48:00.005-04:00

I had a first communion this weekend. Im not a church goer....We have discussed many times on this blog, beliefs, and religion, and who does what for their own purpose - And for those of you who dont remember how I feel about religion, please revisit this site.

But I went, and didnt burst into flames!!!

And while he did this......

I'm getting ready to go to Vancouver and Seattle this week. Who wants postcards???

My adventures in online dating...

2010-05-01T09:41:00.004-04:00

Im not an online dater. I dont get the whole "online thing"....

A friend of mine is over one night, and shes bitching about guys, as it turns out that we are both going through some stupid times when it comes to members of the opposite sex. To me that is fairly common, but she's not used to how annoying men can truely be as she was in a long term relationship and is brand new to dating all over again.

I said "THATS IT. Lets go online and find you a boyfriend". So we go to plenty of fish, and start flicking through the profiles - which seems like rocket science becuase you have to input your postal code (Canada's version of a Zip code for our American readers), and find people in your area, or within x amount of miles.

I can barely navigate this site, but manage to find myself looking at THOUSANDS of men in Toronto who want to date. I click on guy, who's not particularily attractive, but its not for me, so i dont care. I read his profile, and his job in his 20s was building muppets and fraggles.

My heart skipped 10 beats.

If you are a long time reader of this blog, then you are well aware of how much i love the Muppets, and in turn, found myself registering on this website just to tell him so.

If you have signed up before for online dating, then you know what an intense process it is....if you have NOT signed up before - spare yourself...its a fairly intense process. But I digress.

I sign up, and email this guy about how cool his job is, and we email back and forth about the Muppets for approximately 10 minutes, and then i get bored. becuase "THATS AMAZING...it must have been the coolest job, i love the muppets" conversation has exhausted itself, and I cant figure out how to delete my profile - so i go to bed.

I call up a couple of my friends the next day, to ask if they have ANY idea how to delete my account...no one does, but they listen to my story, laughing, and all agree that "Only you would do soemthing this ridiculous". Miss Ash suggets meeting him becuase maybe he'll build me my own muppet, which is something i never thought of asking, and as I told a few friends about what has happened, a number of them inquired about whether he takes orders.

I sign into Plenty of Fish, and send him another email, explaining what has happened over the past 24 hours, and asked him if he would make Muppets for people he doesnt know....and he never emailed me back.

C'est la vie. But I found out how to delete my profile.

Ebayaholic

2010-04-27T19:46:00.010-04:00

In recent, I have become something of an "ebay shopper". I have posted, many...many...MANY years ago about the crazy shit people sell on ebay....but until recently, I never bought anything. Mainly becuase I was too afraid to give out my credit card information online.

I think my first ebay purchase was a snoopy snow cone machine. I had two when i was a kid. Good memories of that thing. I never used it when i got it, and i actually think i donated it...i havent seen it in a while. HOWEVER - I have, in the past month - bought 4 peices of Clash history that have made my entire year so far....and i LOVE 2010 so far...so thats saying a lot. Let me see if I can post some pictures here for your viewing pleasure.

First purchase: Clash poster Circa 1977

LOOK!!! How exciting (i still remember how to post pictures). I had to have this. Its actually quite large and framed already. I had an empty space on my wall across from my bed, and was looking for something to put there....and what better than the Clash. Nothing that i can think of. It looks gorgeous in a frame BTW. This poster started my obsession with collecting music memorobilia.

Purchase 2:

Thats right people - you are looking at an ORIGINAL rolling stone magazine, from 1980. UK version. sigh.....this one is at my moms still. I havent been there to pick it up yet...but it will also be framed...after i read the article of course.

Purchase 3 &4:

These two fantastic peices of paper were seperate auctions, but the original prints that were obtained through a collector from a magazine in London. And he was stupid enough to sell them, so i was smart enough to bid on them. I saw the one on the left and fell in love with it. i didnt want the one on the right, but I thought it wasnt fair to separate them....and i figured the could be framed and hung one on top of the other.

The one on the right ended first....i won that one. It wasnt the one that i wanted initially, so i stalked ebay like mad for the one on the left. if i didnt win that one, i didnt want either of them, even though i already had won the one i didnt want. I changed my bid for the one on the left with 5 seconds left just to be on the safe side...but someone tried to Ebay snipe me, and came up short.....by 1.99. LOL!!! These two are coming this week. The dude charged me 6 dollars for shipping, and sent me a digital photo of him sending the pictures today....the shipping ticker said $1.90. Asshole. LOL

So thats it for now. im done on ebay for a while - although, one of these fantastic sellers has an original newspaper from england that says "BOWIE'S BACK!!!" and its a wonderful picture....which would also look really good.....im not an ebayaholic yet...but its there...lurking.

YIKES - im terrible at blogging.

2010-04-24T11:24:00.004-04:00

Ok the REAL title of this blog should actually be "How many times do you have to tell someone to fuck off before they get it? (AKA: They called us young!!!)" But i feel like, having a half hearted apologetic title would be more appropriate.

Me and LD went to see Echo and the Bunnymen last night - and as far as concerts go - id have to say that it was in my top 10 of best shows ive seen. Echo was great - but thats not what this post is about - its about everything else that happened last night - i had to tell someone - so im telling you. Not to mention Miss A took me off her blog roll - i was horrified. So im back for my own selfish reasons.

Kelly Stoltz opened up, and they were SO bad..LD looked at me at one point and was like "BORING"...and I agreed that I was bored. There were three dudes behind us that also seemed bored. The band sucked. However, before they started - they made loose mention to the fact that the do a cover of Rolling Stones "Miss you" - so i was hopeful. But it just turned out that they liked to sing songs about Jesus, and pinecones...and fire escapes.

So my crazy dancing boyfriend was there - and tried to grind with me during the boring band - to which i replied "Are you fucking kidding me right now???" And when he tried to engage me in conversation, im certain I could have been ruder, but I was my charming self and only 3/4 rude.

So he goes away, and LD decides to get a drink. I turn to the three dudes behind me and say that if he comes back, im with them. And of course, my crazy dancing boyfriend comes back, and the dudes behind me are giggling. To which i tell this guy to fuck off again and he goes away. I accuse the 3 dudes behind me as being the WORST wingmen ever - and we proceeded to chat with them all night. They must have been around 50, were TOTAL music snobs like me and LD, and were undoubtedly the coolest people at the concert - besides me and LD of course. They said we were too young to be Echo fans, and we were happy they thought we were young. They'd seen the Clash. sigh - my heart broke. I'll never see the Clash.

Other notable points in the evening - Skanky pot smoker was screaming "I LOVE YOU" at every quiet moment during the evening. So they hustle their way right in front of us from the other side of the room, and continue to scream "I love you - give it to us - take off your clothes" - to which Ian McCulloch actually tells them to "Shut up" at one point, and we all burst out laughing.

There was a woman in front of me - who wouldnt move no matter how many times I bumped into her on purpose. At one point i actually asked her to move, but when she came right back, i learned about myself - that if im annoying someone i dont know, i wont stop doing it, no matter how many times they glare at me.

Ian Mcculloch throws a pack of cigs into the crowd at the end of the show, it comes right to me, and bounces off the palm of my hand, and lands directly infront of the chick i was bumping into all night - and she got them. I wanted to give one to everyone around me - just as a fun memory of the concert....but I guess its karma for being such a bitch all the time. Oh well....

For those of you who are interested - Echo sang: Lips like Sugar, Bring on the Dancing Horces, Seven Seas, The Killing Moon, plus a variety of new songs....

Miss A has a quota for me to get back onto her blog roll. I'll be back soon - I have a YEAR to catch you up on!

omg its already been a month!

2009-01-21T20:06:00.004-05:00

I cant belive how fast the holidays fly....But here I am, in January, almost february....not loving the winter lifestyle. Its been a long december indeed.

from my last 2 posts, my life has taken a serious turn for the worst....that dude that slept with another girl ALSO let another dude blow him. wtf. Sure, one of my best friends is gay, but i dont want dudes im seeing to participate in homosexual activity. Thats just me.

So needless to say, its over....as he took off his pants with another dude...for sexual reasons.

I deleted someone off facebook that I NEVER thought I would get rid of....and im better for it.

I have learned a great deal about myself in the past month....and have resolved to rectify this one particular thing, in order to be happier and a better person. (This directly coincides with me deleting the person off FB).

Im just about sick of the weather here, and am ready for a MUCH needed vacation to anywhere warm where they bring me little drinks with umbrellas....

I need to go tanning. Im feeling depressed in the winter for the first time ever. Thats not good. Im missing my Vitamin D.

I know..lame, but its all ive got.

GAG....i hate the snow.....

2008-12-19T10:33:00.003-05:00

It has been a truely hectic HECTIC time for me the past couple of weeks....I have started working my job full time days - and not to mention that I got a 17% pay increase after only being here for 5 weeks. PLUS I got back pay, or pay equity.....which is 2 nice big checks for me thank you very much.

My laptop battery is beyond dead....so I have only had access to a computer at work, which, when im supposed to be working, its hard to fuck around on Facebook....but Ive managed, and am managing without a computer. I didnt think i'd be able to do it, so im quite impressed with myself.

I painted furniture this week, and have watched movies instead of being online. I finished my Christmas shopping, which for me is extremely late, since its usually done, and wrapped, by my bday in November.

I got my first parking ticket living in the city on December 9.....30 dollars!!! AND my permit was stuck in my window. Ive parked on the street every day before December 9, and every day after December 9....and havent gotten another ticket. I think it snowed that night, and the fucker was too lazy to wipe the snow out of the window....so now I have to go through this huge process about getting my ticket processed....

I ALSO received my VERY FIRST speeding ticket....I was going a whopping 45 km in a 40! thats right people...27 dollar speeding ticket!!! Talk about filling your quota for year end.

Happy holidays peeps!

NO ONE IS READING...

2008-12-01T16:54:00.001-05:00

HAHAHA....

Enough said.

Updates

2008-11-25T21:53:00.002-05:00

1. I quit my job at WS and did NOT take advantage of the discount. I walked in there and said that my schedule had changed again and that I would be unable to accomodate them in working a day shift once a week. I said that I wanted to quit before the paperwork went through for the discount and all that stuff. They thanked me for being an hoenst and rspectable person and said that they hope they could still consider me a loyal customer. I said they could.

2. My OTHER new job is FANTASTIC!!! I love it, and despite the clients questionable pasts, I find that they are quite delightful.

3. There was someone in my life whos company I enjoyed. He called me about an hour ago to tell me that he slept with someone else, and that he does cocaine "recreationally", but felt that I deserved to know, because he wanted to be able to sleep with a clear conscience.....Ugh. Boys!

4. Im devastated about missing black Friday. The computer that I want is 280 dollars cheaper in the states...Im working the overnight that day, and dont get off until 8:30am. Id never get over the border if I decided to drive home after the shift, AND chances are, it would be gone by the time i got there anyway.

5. Ive decided I need a vacation. And not just a 4 day jam packed fun filled Vegas vacation. I need to go lay on a beach somewhere for a week. I get 5 weeks of vacation a year to start at my new job...i should probably use it.

Thats all for now. Sorry for the delay with the new post.

31 and 11 days

2008-11-16T12:03:00.002-05:00

So my bday was a hit. We went to SottoSotto, which has the best Italian food I've had since my Nonna died 9 years ago. Dirty Dancing was fun....I'd give it a solid 8 out of 10. Sound of music was way better.

I had a party here just last Saturday...and then we went to a bar where I proceeded to get drunk, and elbow some chick in the kidneys as hard as I could. Im POSITIVE she pissed blood that night....but thats what happens when you make inapporpriate comments about my friends. But I digress....

So im 31 now. I've got a WONDERFUL new job.....even though I actually have THREE wonderful new jobs. One of them isnt so wonderful.

In addition to working in a half way house for women out of prison, and working at another agency for children who have autism, I decided to pick up a fun gift wrapping position at Williams Sonoma for a couple of reasons.

1. 40% discount.
2. I LOVE that store, and half of my Christmas gifts come from that store...So again 40% discount.
3. I love to wrap gifts. I do all of mine, and my moms, and my dads, and my aunts...i find that Im actually quite good at it, and its nice to sit on the floor with a glass of wine and make presents look beautiful.
4...did I mention a 40% discount?

So I thought it would be fun...and stress free...and Im taking a huge pay cut to fit it into my schedule. But I didnt care, I figured that the 140 dollars I made a week, would pay for my christmas gifts this year.

So they said that I had to give them minimum 15 hours a week. No problem. I went in just tuesday to submit my availability, and then called them the next day to confirm it. They said that my schedule is "Unacceptable".. and the conversation proceeds from here.

Boss: Your schedule is unacceptable
Me: Whys that?
Boss: Because we need you to work the same 15 hours per week, consistently
Me: Uhh....I work shifts, that impossible
Boss: Well, I know that we made it clear to you that you had to work the same hours consistently
Me: No you didnt, I told you I worked shifts when I first talked to you about this
Boss: Well, I know someone told you that you had to work a set schedule
Me: Umm No. I work a different schedule all the time, thats what shift means.
Boss: Well its unacceptable
Me: Sooo...Im sorry that this job isnt my number 1 priority. Im work shifts, you knew that, if you thought it would be a problem, WHY did you hire me?
Boss: I have 100 employees, I cant have them submitting a different schedule every 2 weeks, thats not efficient.
Me: Well, if 99 people are submitting consistent schedules, whats wrong with 1 person submitting a schedule that isnt consistent?
Boss: Well, you're going to have to find out if your schedule is conducive to the Williams Sonoma expectations.
Me: It is, you just have to make acceptions. And by the way, you scheduled me on a day that i told you that I had a wedding, Im not coming in, you'll have to cover that shift. Goodbye.

***********

NOW, for a job thats supposed to be fun and stress free....WHO would keep this job??? I know how much WS says that they're all about customer service, and helping people, etc etc...I dont think that they know what their own mandate is. If I quit, I'm the customer again, and knowing what I know now, I could have a lot of fun with these people, and cause them a lot of stress. But if I stay, I get 40% off...

Im torn. Do I let some bitch who makes 10 dollars an hour talk down to me, when I have 2 other job, BUT i get 40% off...or do i walk in there, and say "Fuck you guys. Thanks for nothing!"

I talked to a friend of mine, and I said that I wanted to get my employee card this friday, and then go shopping on Saturday, buy up all the things I wanted to buy and then say "BTW, im quitting".

He thought that would be funny. Ideas?

My bday...Yawn.

2008-11-03T21:06:00.003-05:00

My 31st birthday may be coming up, but I am WAY more excited about the election tomorrow!!! Such a pivotal point in US history...and may I say North American history in general.

I am starting to, as time gets closer to the election, to become more excited about the prospect of a democrat in office again! I am sick of republicans....im sick of their "Pro-war" bullshit, and im SUPER Sick, of the one who's currently in office.

I think Dubyah might be the stupidest man alive...after 8 years of countless idiotic quotes to back him up, I for one am not going to miss....well thats not true. I will miss making fun of him on a daily basis, and the Bushisms that come up in the calendar every year...

But as a general whole, I will not miss the idocy of GWB. And with this, I am recommending the show "Lil Bush" which plays on the comedy channel, but you can catch a glimpse of this here.

Also, happy birthday on the 4th to one of my closest friends Tim...and happy Guy Fawkes day on the 5th!

*Bday plans include SottoSotto for dinner on Wednesday, and then off to see Dirty Dancing! Plus the usual boozy shenanigans with the gang.

A question.....

2008-10-28T11:21:00.002-04:00

So I was out at Chapters last night, looking around, and I found myself, as I so usually do, in the self-help section.

Not because I buy self help books, but because I buy books about abuse, addiction, mental health, and self injurious behaviors for work. *These are the books I consider "Light reading" and take on my vacations. LOL!!!*

Im flipping through an interesting book about teens who cut themselves, and ways to help them, deciding whether or not to buy it, and there's a loud crash to my left. I look over but since its another tall book shelf, I cant see anything....except all of the Post Secret books which are almost directly in my line of vision.

I put down the book that Im reading about cutting, and pick up a post secret book. I have so often read about people leaving secrets in the books that for one second, I consider the possibility of there being a secret in the book i'm holding, or any of the books on the shelves.

I flip through my book, and in between the pages, there's a secret written in blue pencil crayon. Thing is, they also attached their email address....and I recognized it. I know the person who has left their secret in the book. And infact, she is a friend of mine on facebook.

And I cant help but feel that its almost an invasion of privacy, to know the person who left a secret for a stranger to find....but it presents me an opportunity to discuss an event that is coming up in her life, that we all know about.

I put that book down, and picked up another. And then another and then another, until I had gone through all of the books there. I found three secrets in total. Email addresses attached, phone numbers attached....

So I ask you...do you ever look through the post secret books to see whats been left behind...solely for the person who finds it?

So Long Sucky Dead End Niagara, Hello Land of Opportunity Toronto!!!

2008-10-26T14:07:00.004-04:00

I got both jobs that I interviewed for.

I dont even want to stay on as relief in my place that I am now. Its not worth it. All the bullshit and trouble that they caused me. They can fuck themselves for all I care. Seriously.

Time to move on completely and start a new chapter in my life. And I couldnt be more excited.

Waiting with baited breath....

2008-10-21T15:54:00.002-04:00

I HATE applying for jobs.

Well...I dont HATE it, but I hate the aftermath, and waiting around for them to call you back.

I had a second interview at a pretty good agency downtown toronto the 10th of October, and after my first interview they loved me so much they called me 10 minutes after I left the office and said "we know we have other interviews, but we're already asking you to come back."

So I went...they said I would hear by the 17th. I didnt.

I said "If I dont hear by the end of monday i'll call tuesday after work and ask them if they've made a decision about the job as of yet."

I was working today 6:30am-3pm....I was literally driving home to call them, and on google to look up their number, and I decided to check my voicemail first. There was a message from HR "This is so and so calling from such and such. Could you please call me back?"

IS THIS GOOD??? I mean, I called back, and left my number...but that was a half hour ago. Im desperate to hear something...

I mean, is it protocol for agencies if you get the job, to leave it on your answering machine? Or even if you get the job, do they ask you to call?

Im paralleling it to the doctors office. When they ask you to call them back, its never good.....BAH. NOW I have to wait, maybe until tomorrow!!! I just want to know. I really want this job, and would do really well at this job. I just HATE this waiting bit of it. BOOOOOOOO.

...i mean it. Im back...for real.

2008-10-17T17:40:00.004-04:00

Ive been posting again for approximately 10 days....and its gotten me nowhere. unfortunately, people probably dont read my blog anymore.

I "Next blogged" myself through an hour of the day today, and found that only 3 of all of the blogs that I saw, were in English.

Im not racist, and have no opposition to people from other cultures having blogs...but if i'm trying to build up a new fan base, instead of just reclaiming my regular readers, I would like to be able to READ their blog as well. And unfortunately, besides, some Italian, and some basic french...im pretty much screwed when it comes to reading other languages.

...although..there was that whole esperanto ordeal...but lets not get into that.

So, i'll continue to post and revisit my own list of blogs that I used to read in the hopes that they recognize that my commitment is official.

Im here people..for real. In my own little corner of the universe tyring to reestablish myself on blogger

(Note - instead of blogger, I wrote globber - a typo, but hilariously funnier than the official name of blogger)

...reconsidering life....

2008-10-11T12:51:00.003-04:00

As a social worker, I respect the confines of confidentiality immensely, but in this instance, i find myself torn.

An old student of mine, has committed murder. A student that I worked with very closely for a year. He was diagnosed with Autism, and was living at the Kolburne School, in MA while I worked there.

A totally quiet 18 year old....and by quiet, i mean not a word above Whisper. When I spoke to him, I had to hold my breath for his answer because if I breathed to sharply, i'd miss it. Ive received this article from my old boss, and friend Jen, who sent it out to me to keep my posted. I remember Ben fondly....I remember sitting at the night shift desk, watching him sway around his room to Michelle Branch. He was never in a restraint, never a problem. He was always happy to do anything that you asked, and never EVER lead me to think that he was capable of such things.

He aged out of the mental health facility that I worked at, and was taking part in another. Im sure if you're curious enough to find the articles online, ive given you enough information to do so. He stabbed a stranger to death, and then called the police on himself saying how angry he was.....

He was diagnosed with autism....Ive just been offered a job working again with autistic children...And with this knowledge, I'm starting to think "whats the fucking point". Im not personalizing this at all, and I know that I did my best with this client, and that his behavior has NOTHING to do with me, or any of the staff that I worked with...but seriously. Wheres the point in my job, when this is what I have to look forward to after working with a client.

I know I know, this isnt the case for everyone...and I cant help but think "is there always a margin of error for these types of things? Is this something that is unavoidable, no matter how much you work with the client? Is there always a 5% margin of error."

I never saw any signs that would ever give way to this..and I payed the closest attention to my 10 boys in that house. Its what they paid me for really. I just cant wrap my head around it. How did the system fail him? What programming DIDNT he get? Was his medication to blame? How did this happen?.....

Questions im sure will keep me up the next few nights. Ive got emails out to everyone I worked with at Kolburne...wondering how the mood is there, and how they're coping with it....im hoping that they can come up with some answers, becuase I cant.

And in reading this article, all I can do is think back to the faint whispered answers of this 18 year old boy....and then I think about his voice when he called the police on himself...whispering what he'd done. He'll be on trial....whispering the details....the whole courtroom will have to wait with baited breath as he recounts the details of that day.

....Im hoping that wont happen. Im hoping that he's found his voice since the last time i'd seen him...but after finding this out today...and seeing the picture of him *the picture was the worst part of it*....i dont know what to think anymore.

PP is gonna make it afterall!!! Insert Laverne and Shirley theme song here

2008-10-03T10:39:00.004-04:00

OMG!!! Its been SEVEN MONTHS since I posted!!!

I was out for lunch with Miss Ash, who threatened to delete me from her blog roll, and since that is more unspeakable than being deleted off facebook, I decided to take some action and get my ass in gear! So...here I am.

The past 7 months for me have been all work and ZERO play. Literally. I mean like working 8-10 days in a row. I never went anywhere, I never did anything exciting...I had the dullest existence in the past 7 months that you should all be thanking me for not having posted. I spared you the boredom of having to read "I worked 7 days in a row again...nothing to report".

BUT NOW....now my dears, I have taken the most significant step *besides doing my masters, and degrees and shit like that*.....to date. In my 30 years of life.

I moved to Toronto.

Im hoping that this will be the beginning of a wonderful list of new adventures for me.

I took posession of my place on the 13th, and have been back and forth a few times, But seeing as I worked almost everyday since the 13th, I OFFICIALLY moved here on the 1st.

On the month before moving to Toronto, I applied for 100 jobs. literally. Maybe more. I stopped counting. I got a few call backs. Had an interview yesterday, and one today *that Miss Ash helped me prepare for over sushi! MMMMMMMM*

I went to my interview yesterday, and then to a very exciting mall which was across the street. the interview was 3 hours, DREADFUL! But after I left, they called my references right on the spot, and called me within 2 hours to offer me the job. They dont fuck around here...not like in Niagara where you wait a month to hear anything.

So ive accepted the new position, which is working with Autisic kids. But in the mean time, im shopping at the fancy mall, and happen to stop into Williams Sonoma. The manager comes to me and says

WS"Oh, are you dominique?" *I am not her. Not currently anyway. LOL*
Me: No
WS: Oh you look like you're here for an interview.
Me: Actually, I just had one
WS: Are you looking for a job?
Me: I just moved here yesterday
WS: We're hiring....

And then proceeds to offer me a job. *Part time during the holidays....and its not like I need the cash, but ive NEVER had a job that I didnt have to think about. I've only EVER had a job in social services. I never worked a regular job as a kid...my mom owned her company.

So im thinking about it...and anyone who's ever been there, knows how expensive it is. The discount will come in HUGE this year if I decide to take it. But I have my most exciting interview at 1 today. Im leaving in about 45 minutes and should be getting ready, in terms of preparation. Which I feel ready...but reviewing never hurts.

So this is it. My triumphant Return to blogging...which I promise. Will be better than Britneys return to singing.

***UPDATE: My interview went great, and they called me 20 minutes after I left to book my second interview! This city is GREAT for social work...i should have moved here years ago