Now what?

WOW. What a month.

I spent so much time studying - that I barely had any time for anything else...but its over....and let me tell you, after spending so much time doing one thing - I dont know what to do with all my spare time.

For all of you LSAT enthusiasts out there - let me be the first to assure you that this test is HARD. Not that the content was overly difficult...but the amount of the content was overwhelming. At the bottom of one of the pages in the booklet, I actually wrote "i ran out of time completely for this question. This test is too long." (and yes, the actual question was the entire page) - lets hope the fine people at LSAC have a sense of humor.

OMG...one guy actually almost got kicked out of the test for opening a bottle of water before break! the lady yelled at him and said that she read the rules to us at the beginning of the test and let us all consider ourselves warned that ignoring the rules will not be tolerated.

I had a good giggle over this.

But of course at the end - with 15 minutes left to go, and 4 questions, I pressed my fingers into my eyes and thought to myself that I couldnt read another word and guessed at the last 4 answers.

On the whole, I feel like I did not bad actually. I feel quite confident about my test in general. Lets just see how the score comes out - January 6.

I wasnt sure I wanted to be a lawyer...i wanted some doors open and quite honestly, took this test for the hell of it - but now that ive done it...I WANT to do well. If I dont, then i wont be that disappointed. But if I do well - then i'll apply to law school.

And now - moving forward onto everyone's happiest and most favorite time of year - Christmas (insert eyeroll/sarcasm here)

LSAT must be the initials for the Devil himself....

Oh dear God....

Has anyone ever studied for the LSAT before??? I dont know how they do it. All these people who are lawyers. How did they manage to pass?

Im a fairly smart individual - 2 undergrads and a Masters of Education (im a certified teacher for fucks sake...so not exactly stupid).... but this? This studying...makes me feel like a moron.

Logical reasoning, would make you think that its logical common sense. Not so much. The first practice 13 questions I got 7 right...the second practice 13, I got 2 right. The time constraints for this test are almost unmanageable....

Logic games? The (sadistic) "game" starts out with a scenario where they give you clues, and then the questions follow. Lets have an example shall we?

Scenario: 7 men standing in a row. 3 with blue hats, 2 with red hats, 2 with white hats.

Clues: A red hat stands first, a blue hat cannot stand beside 2 red hats, the white hats cannot be second or third

Questions: What is a logical order of how these men are standing from first to last? Who's the tallest? WHICH MAN IS NAMED PAUL??? (ok, well the last 2 arent really questions, but they may as well be)

You know - I always wanted to be a lawyer, and the story i'm about to relay has certainly been written here before somwhere in the archives....In my third year of University, when i was still gearing up to write the LSAT, I got a riddle on email - similar to the above noted scenario. 6 hours later...i was still struggling with it. I had drawn diagrams, and charts...to no avail. I looked at my friend, who'd watched me work on it (which i did through an entire 3 hour class sociology class), and I looked at her and said "i'll NEVER pass the LSAT"....and that was it.

I havent even TOUCHED the other 2 sections yet....

Its all word problems. There's SO much organization needed, and i'm a VERY organized person. Thing is, im very overwhelmed with all of the stuff I need to learn in 4.5 weeks when people study for this for a year or more.

I need a strategy to study....I have already tabbed off the sections in the books, and organizing myself as best as possible. Im definitely feeling the pressure, but I need a proper strategy to organize myself to maximize study time.

I'm open to all help and suggestions :)

Its the end of October already

Well....again, its been a nightmare of a month, and the lady who threatened my life is now gone from the agency and continuing to threaten my life.

I know its time to leave - and i've decided to write the LSAT and have applied for a number of jobs, so we'll see. Its time to get the fuck out of dodge because at this point - if this lady who's BANANAS has her skin head gang out here, blames me for going back to jail, and they're on the hunt for me - no thanks. I'll be happy to go thank you very much.

So that brings us pretty much up to speed. Im being threatened by a crazy lady, who has a number of equally crazy associates out here.

Its time to get out while i can.

And its my birthday next weekend. I'll be 34...... Aren't I too old for this shit???

Happy Spooky Season

Wow. This month. I cant believe how fast its gone.

I had my life threatened at work - so i went on stress leave, and all i did was relax. It was quite nice to just lay around and do nothing for 3 weeks.

I met a new dude, who Im actually enjoying spending a large amount of time with. We're incredibly similar, and have turned into fantastic friends - which was unexpected and surprising. We met on the beach....and one comment turned into a 5 hour conversation. Its nice when things like that happen. So weve been spending a lot of time together, and hanging out. His birthday is even the day before mine...so lots in common.

Some ASSHOLE hacked my credit card and charged 4200 dollars at some conference in Texas. That was a pain in the ass to sort out...but its all sorted, I suppose, until I hear something else from the credit card company.

Its my 34th birthday in a month. I dont know where the time has gone, considering I started this blog when i think i was 27 or so. (ive not been the best blogger, but im working on it).

I moved into my new place, and I still dont have internet at my house - and since I was off for a month - it made internet time difficult. But I'm back to work now, and things are going well - although, I feel like its time to move on from my agency and find something new.

I've kept myself so occupied that I havent even gotten an answering machine, or call display on my phone yet - that I set up August 5!!!

Its time for apple picking, hoodies, pumpkins, scary movies, fireplaces, and warm cozy drinks. Happy fall everyone :)

PP meets celebrities and makes a complete asshole of herself....

For those of you who have read this blog for any length of time, know that Clockwork Orange is my favorite movie....and at Nerd Expo this year, the star, Malcolm Mcdowell, along with other horror/movie people were going to be there signing autographs....

We're waiting in line too meet up with him, and he ends up being an hour and a half late. His manager must have been talking to him on the phone, and you could hear him say "NOO There's really a lot of people here to meet you".

And so he looks at the line and says "scream something to prove that youre here"....so i did - i dont know what I said, but i guess not enough people screamed, so he brought the cell phone to LD and she said "Hello??" and Malcolm never said anything, but then she said "we're here."

And then the phone came to me, and I said "We're here, are you coming??" and then he passed the phone to someone else. and I said "LD!!!, we just talked to Malcolm Mcdowell on the phone!!!" (one sided, but we did. :) )

Malcolm finally shows up, and comes up through the line, and im shakey nervous all of a sudden. I mean...this is a HUGE deal. so he's walking up the asile, and he gets to me, and he says "look at this beautiful girl just to meet me" and he grabs my arms, and squeezes them....so im imediately swoony and have a total "Dear Diary" moment.

there's only one girl ahead of me, and i get up there with my friend LD, and I shake his hand, and tell him how exciting it is to meet him , and he says "good then let me give you a hug!!" so he hugs me, and im so swoony again, hes so dreamy. So he asks me what I want signed, and I want the orange picture with the cartoonish face that has the cog for the eye, and LD asks me why I dont want one of Malcolm...and I tell her that the orange poster that I got signed, was the poster that came out when the movie was banned in England and MM looks at me and says "THATS RIGHT!!! I cant believe you know that!"

He takes the poster and says "and who am i addressing this to?" (And thats when things went bad...). I looked at him and said "Holy shit, youre malcolm Mcdowell"...and I couldnt remember what my name was and LD had to tell him...and then i launched into this HUGE speech about how the movie, and his protrayal of the character changed me and determined my career path blah blah blah...and you know how he has thos HUGE blue buggy eyes....he was like so enthralled with what I was saying, and he said "So you know all the bullshit then eh? about how they have to pee, and have the fake wangs"...and i looked at LD and laughed and said "Malcolm mcdowell just said WANG to us"...

So it was awesome, he shook my hand again and I told him that it was a real honor to meet him, and he said that it was an honor to meet me, and etc etc.

But I wish that was the end of it.......

So i get in line to see Douglas Bradley who was sitting beside Malcolm McDowell - im still swoony over MM, so i get up there, and pick my picture for him to sign, and i shake his hand and am like "Doug bradley...its very cool to meet you, but guess what? I just met Malcolm McDowell" and i was SUPER excited...and he looks at me very uninterested and says "Uh huh..." and i said "No, you dont understand. Clockwork orange is my FAVORITE movie ever!!!", and my friend jumps in and says "ummm...besides hellraiser of course", to which i say it is, but its my favorite Gorror movie, but how ACO is my most favorite movie ever. his assistant says "i dont even think ive ever seen it"...and im like "SHAME ON YOU!!!!" and doug bradley the entire time was like "uh huh...." and super unimpressed.

LD laughs and says that she'll never pass up the opportunity to see me make an ass of myself.

Im leaving, and im on the escalater, and Danielle Harris (of halloween 4, 5, rob zombie's halloween, and Roseanne) was 1 step above me on the escalater. She looks over her shoulder at me and shoots me the cut eye, so i say to her "wow, danielle harris. hows it going"...and she looks over her shoulder at me, gives me this massive bitchy smirk and in a really rude tone, says "YEA. Hi there". My response - WOW...youre fucking rude eh?....and let her jaw open on the escalator.

Talked to Malcolm McDowell on the phone, got to meet him, made a complete asshole of myself infront of doug bradley, and told off Danielle Harris. All in all...a good day. :)

you know what?

...I miss the ocean.....

A moments reflection

I think I had something to say...honestly - it wasnt about guys, or how busy it was. I think it was a response to another post that ive read recently...but it doesnt matter - inconsequential ramblings.

I realize that ive been a terrible blogging buddy - and while my life was crazy and hectic, I missed out on the moments in your lives. i dont have internet at home yet - so it makes blogging more difficult, but im here and dedicated to reading and catching up.

Things have been lovely on this end. No complaints (shocking..i know). Work's even going well.

the place is great - the neighbors are great - I honestly live in Sesame Street...all of the neighbors know each other, they all hang out in their front/side yards, and trade gardening/bbq/weeding/household tips. They all wave and say hello by name. Its something else. the kind of community that you have where you grew up and no one ever moved and everyone knows each other well. Its honestly divine.

I'm still thinking of applying for my PhD, and have to get all of my references to write me letters, and approach them prior to their semesters start in September....Im hopeful. I need a change.

I hope that you are all doing well, and that this has been a fantastic summer so far.

Moving = Suckage

its been a long 5 weeks friends.

moving sucked the life out of me - and trying to maintain my phone number to port to my new iphone, which has been in the box for the last 7 days unused.....has caused me stress BEYOND stress.

I hate bell canada. I hate moving. I sat on the phone for 30 minutes with customer service to complain about their customer service.

My new place is amazing though. I got my bed finally (after sleeping on an airmattres for 10 days - which hasnt helped my mood).

I dont have internet or a phone yet, and havent since July 31, i feel so out of touch with Everyone. Miss A went on vacation and I didnt even know she was going.

Im hoping that everything will settle VERY soon....im loving my new apartment, its really huge, and gorgeous. And my parents brought my furniture, which I love, and is so cozy and reminds me of home. You know, I dont watch tv....and ive never had cable or anything like that - I mean, ive always had like 8 or 10 channels....but when you dont even have the option of those 10 channels...it really makes a difference.

Im in need of some severe retail therapy this weekend. I need some quiet "Me" time, and have no problems doing that - shutting the world out and going shopping.

Moving on up to the east side....

But not to a high rise apartment in the sky. I DID find a new place and im moving on August 1. Im SO stoaked. Its a HUGE apartment, and I have my own private yard. sigh.....my own private yard with a stone walkway - thats perfect for a bistro set and a BBQ...eek!!!!

Theres a massive fireplace - and a built in wine rack in the kitchen. its so nice, and pretty...and gigantic, and CHEAP. I really lucked out. Im leaving what my dad called "A rat hole" (even though hes never been here), and found myself a gorgeous place. I'm really in love with it....and i have a yard. :)

I've also been thinking about doing my PhD in sociology, or a second masters in Social work......im getting to the point in life where I need another change. This apartment will help, but I need something bigger. Ive been at the same job for almost 3 years, and its time to do something different. but I dont want any lateral moves. I want a huge leap. Its time to start researching what im going to be doing with my life - my mom thinks I should go see a psychic. Ugh....

Anyway, I had the BEST Canada day weekend, with amazing friends, and so much booze, (I cant believe how much we drank - 11am until 11:30pm people....straight - and that was me - Miss A and LD were troopers and stayed another hour after that). Met some amazing new people, and had a wonderful wonderful weekend.

This weekend also marked the 1 year passing of my grandfather - I can't believe that its been a year already...CRAZY how fast this year went by. We had something for him at the cemetary and then a yummy dinner of all kinds of food he would have approved of.

Its that many days closer to Harry Potter, and Big brother starts on Thursday.

I know I said last year that it was going to be the summer of CJ - but I wasnt motivated. I wasnt into doing all of the things i said I wanted to - so I totally honestly think I may have jumped the gun that one. If the last week has taught me anything - this summer is going to be divine.

Did I mention I get my own yard???

EXPELLIARMUS!!!!

Im trying to figure out what to say here....I dont know if you all know this - but im sort of a nerd. Especially when it comes to Harry Potter.

I have been reading these books since 1997. I was 20...and now im 33, and I still LOVE Harry. Sigh. I know.

I even spent 10 minutes looking for a picture that I really felt encapsulated the Epicness of this movie coming out in 2 weeks...i FEEL like this does it. but it doesnt really pack the punch necessary in this teeny window.

I cant believe its over - there wont be any more Harry....these books got an entire generation of people reading....they got kids reinterested in books....how many books have done that? Transformed an entire generation of kids into readers?

Im a nerd. I dont care. I already got my tickets...and i CANNOT wait. Who else is going?

Early Morning Conversations

So i have someone who calls me everyday sort of early...like 5:50am early...just to say good morning. He's great and I really adore him, so its acceptable, although for the most part, this type of behavior is highly frowned upon.

He's half Chinese, and this morning mentioned something about the Mongols (becuase after "good morning", we apparently discuss ancient history).

Me: Wouldnt it be cool if you were related to Genghis Khan?

Him: I could be - he apparently liked having sex, and probably had a lot of kids.

Me: Well, you always talk about all the sex you have - so you might be.

Him: haha...totally.

Me: Well...do you also like Twinkies?

** Silence**

Me: Oh...nevermind...that was the Genghis Khan in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

hilarity ensues.

Even a helmet wouldnt help...

This past weekend was SUPPOSED to be wonderful - a night of living it up and dancing with Jenni and Miss A...a night of fun and frolic...a night of greasy 3am post bar food....I had great intentions for a FABULOUS saturday....and then i got out of bed.

Went to kickboxing - everythings good. Time is being properly managed....I have 1.5 hours to work out, not the 2 that I need to do core and kickboxing, so i decide to go home, and do my core exercises there.

Its not that im a particularly CLUMSY person...im just really accident prone.Long story short, I was on the stability ball, face down. Lost my balance, went face first into the wall, sliced my eyebrow open, blood everywhere, shattered a glass and had an immediate bump that looked like a golf ball under my eyebrow.

Spent the next few hours in the hospital. They glued my eyebrow shut, and I have a concussion - and therefore, had to spend the next 3 days on the couch (minus lunch with Miss A on Sunday).

I still feel like shit. my eye is JUST starting to turn black (perfectly in time for the lion king this saturday I might add!!!), and it hurt to laugh or smile for 2 days cause of the swelling.

SIlver lining? Doc said that if i had hit one inch lower - I would have lost my eyeball. So i might have gotten into a fight with a wall, and lost - but at least I still have my eye. :)

This was taken yesterday morning - I can assure you its much more purpley today LOL

BLOGGER CAN SUCK IT

I tried for 3 days to upload my pictures, of just Santa Monica, to here to show them off - cause I was going to do my california posts in parts. But I couldnt upload - the pictures were all wonky, the posts wouldnt publish - i restarted the first picture post TEN times...and uploaded the pictures TEN times. And nothing. For 3 days.

And today - i looked online. for 2 hours to figure out what the fuck was going on, becuase my posts werent even being published. I have like 5 different drafts of posts that I couldnt figure out what was going on.

The answer? After 3 days of wanting to punch my computer, 10 times of restarting the post, and a million and a half frustrating moments? The new IE disabled my java something or other. I cant publish posts anymore from there.

So now im on Mozilla - and hoping for a better day - i'll see if this publishes, and go from there.

And moving on....

i didnt get the job.

They emailed me today - apparently they said i failed a part of the interview, but I know enough from the lady I know who was involved in hiring, that if someone failed a part of the process, they got an email within 4-7 days so they werent hanging and hopeful.

Since it was 2.5 months, I dont think that I failed - i think that I just missed it. (and I had that nagging feeling after the interview anyway...so im not technically surprised.)

Oh well - theres something better for me out there, and quite frankly, after 2.5 months, I wasnt sure I wanted them anymore anyway....

I'm going to start blogging about my trip (avec pictures) this week..so much to tell.

Hang in there - ive been busy.

Santa Monica = sunburn and wicked times.

Well the first 5 days of my trip are done and overwith - which i CANT believe becusae we've been so busy, that the time has flown.

I do have this much to say...Hosteling, instead of hoteling while you're on vacation, leaves much to be desired...and I promise that it will be the last time - EVER. (I thought my idea of "roughing it" was the travel lodge....i was wrong. Its staying in a hostel - especially the one in Santa Monica.

We arrived VERY late...and my travel buddy turned on the royal wedding coverage. I went to bed.

Day 1 started VERY early as we went to the airport for 6am to get her friend who's flight was delayed 2 hours. Awesome...but after meeting up and getting our car, we drove to Santa Monica, and found the famous pier (which was the film location for a great 80's movie...Back to the Beach - no one else was excited...but I took pictures)....we walked 2.5 hours to Venice Beach, living it up in the ocean, and watching the surfers. Found this great mexican hole in the wall, and had margheritas on the beach. Ended up coming back, and I was burnt. If WIGSF thinks that Miss A transforms yearly into lobster girl....i swear...5 hours in the sun left me with 2nd degree burns. its day 5, and the blisters are JUST starting to pop...

Day 2 brought us to LA - hollywood, celebrity homes - or 40 foot high hedges -, rodeo drive...(which was AMAZING)...Peter O'Toole was doing his hands and feet at the Chinese Theater...it was a fantastic day...there is SO much money here.

Day 3 Brought me to La Jolla - which is SO beautiful, I would do it as a vacation on its own. Then to San Diego - and the zoo. Im not a Zoo person, but I wasnt about to complain - there is something VERY unnatural about polar bears that Pant due to heat....it was upsetting, and most likely my LAST animals in captivity adventure ever.

Day 4 and 5 brought us to Disney....which if you've been to the one in florida...they're SO different...the castle isnt even the same (i'll post pictures when i get back).

Tomorrow is a 12 hour coastal drive to San Fransisco - and then ALCATRAZ!!! i cant wait.

Hope that you are all awesome, and i'll continue my travel journaling...The hostel could be 10 posts on its own. GAG.

Forget stress....

..in exactly 29 hours and 14 minutes i'll be headed to the airport to go to CALIFORNIA!!!

Its been the WORST month...with LD's dad gone...back and forth every weekend....shit at work:

WORK RANT: which, for the month....included TWO complaints from diagnosed psychopaths.

1. was that I breached confidentiality and shared her personal information with other clients - she complained ALL the way to the top - and by the top, I mean the EXACT people on the hiring committee for the job interview I had a bit ago for Federal Parole. Yea, NOT GOOD. But, she complained, they took her off my case load, and then she came and apologized to me. My thoughts??? I KNOW you lied...go tell the people you complained to.

2. an hour long meeting with another one, where we had a VERY engaging conversation for an hour where she said that she could actually see herself working with me, and liked me a great deal. And as soon as i left, she called my work and RANTED about how rude and mean i was to her, and then...called me a fat cow. LOL!!!! (she should have seen me a year ago if she thinks im fat now ;), but I digress....) Anyway...she also compained to the tippy top....and by the top, I mean the EXACT people on the hiring committee for the job interview I had a bit ago for Federal Parole....again...not good. BUT on the day of her intake at work, she laughed and said "I hope youre not hurt by what I said, it was part of my evil plan not to come to the agency at all. Im sorry I said those things, you know they arent true!! At which point I brushed it off, but again thought...I KNOW you lied - go tell the people that you complained to becuase they dont know...

I really took it up the ass this month (not literally for all of you who are about to make comments). There was severe unprofessionalism from my boss surrounding these two things that left me in her office contemplating a letter of resignation. I spoke to the union, who encouraged me to greive the acts....its being taken up with them now. This has seriously been the ENTIRE month of stress. It will end tonight...4-12:30.

But...aside from that - im leaving...in 29 hours, 4 minutes to the airport to head for sand and sun. We're doing Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, Map of the stars homes I imagine....San Diego, 2 days at Disney, up to Sanfransisco along the coast, (i think we'll make it to garlic world wigsf), Alcatraz...lots of touristy things in SF, over to vegas....where Ive been 4 times already. I'm doing NOTHING While they explore the city. Im going to lay around by the pool and read...for 2.5 days. And then over to the grand canyon to hike it up. And then back to LA to fly home.

Im incredibly excited....if you want post cards....this is your chance to say so.

So long life in sucky rainy stressful Toronto...so long stress...good bye internet, cell phone and email....hello California

Nevermind...Princess Pessimism Stays....its suits this place.

I wish i could blog about something interesting.... I wish i had something fantastic to say..... I wish that I had the energy, and motivation to keep the world up to date with all of the fantastic and amazing things going on in my life.... But there isnt. Its been all stress. Vacation stress, personal life stress, work stress...it almost seems like every day has been worse than the one before it. I just want to sleep...and wake up in 24 days in time for my vacation. I havent forgotten about all of you - im just not reading, and am barely surviving.

This and That.

You know - I think Charlie Sheen is less than 5 steps away from starting his own cult. What do you think it would be called? I'm going to go with "Sheenis Envy".

Its snowing here in the great city of Toronto. Thats right people. Snow. March 23. Its pretty outside - i heart the snow, but its really sucky cause its so cold.

Nothing about the job yet....and if its meant to be, it will be. But I havent actually thought about it much over the past week or so because....

...ALL IM THINKING ABOUT IS MY VACATION!!! Woot. I just confirmed my 90 hours off, and still have 2 weeks to spare (and thats carried over from last year, im behind on my vacation taking).

I think, so far, this is the itinerary. Flying into LA, San Diego, San Fransisco, La Jolla, Vegas, Grand Canyon.

Ive been to the last 2, but have never been to California - If you have ANY recomendations for that state, restaurants, things to see, or do, places that are a "MUST" for any traveller, please let me know.

A peice of advice.

IF you are married...tell me, or at least delete my text messages - so that I can avoid SCREAMING phone calls from your wife Asking me who i am, and where I know you from.

You know...in these situations - why is NO ONE Ever mad at the dude...ive seen Jerry Springer - the chicks always go after each other. Its mind boggling.

Assholes.

blah Thursday...

Its thursday. Its crappy weather outside.

Im done beating myself up about the job. I dont think I really want it anyway - another potential job came to me yesterday (from a colleague at another office), and its something that im REALLY looking into. So we'll see. After 6 months of preparing, tears, stress, and meltdowns....the job that I just interviewed for might not even be what I want. Funny how life works out like that. (and my apologies for putting you all through the stress as well. LOL)

My shoulder feels much better. Thank you for all of your condolences.

Nothing really new to report. I wont hear about the job for at least 2 more weeks...shoulder's doing better....broke my toe on Tuesday (I THOUGHT i broke it, cause it turned black within a minute of being injured, but im more mobile today, and its feeling better, and is less black - so i dont know about broke anymore - maybe just fucked up. Which i'd settle for)

Im longing for spring - im sick of this weather...So i think we all need a little pick me up. There is a man who's doing some reno's at work here, and he reminds me of Richard Simmons....DRESSED like Don Johnson in Miami vice - white pants and all (I WISH i could post pictures of him). He ALSO consistently smells of rotten eggs, feet, and mouldy cabbage.

Feel free to discuss: Are eyebrows considered facial hair???

forget what i wrote about changing the URL of this blog....

It is SO rightly named. Ive lost all confidence regarding this job.

I know youre wondering, so i'll get straight to the point. After I left, i realized that I didnt say a massive section in the questioning - in regards to the kind of client they were asking me about - BUT i touched on every point under that section - i just didnt name the section. I did demonstrate knowledge...but I forgot to mention the name of the section i was making all the points about.

additionally - I feel like If I had asked one additional question during the role play, it would have opened up a variety of new possible questions - of course, I didnt think until i was gone.

I know this doesnt seem like that much - but when it comes down to it - these are the things that can cost you the job. I dont know.....we'll see I suppose, but im not holding my breath for the phone call.

Annnnd yesterday, im at my parents house cleaning - because they are coming back from a 3 week jaunt in south america....and i was vaccuuming the stairs, and stepped right on the vaccuum....grabbed the railing, and did some serious damage to my shoulder. Pain so bad, its gag worthy.

thats it folks - now its just a waiting game.....and if my shoulder still feels like this in a couple of days, im going to the doctor.

PP is ready for change...

My interview is tomorrow. Im nervous. Gag nervous.

ive been preparing - and feel ok about the things that they expect (role play, questions, and written), and have a FAIRLY good idea about the sorts of things that they are going to ask in terms of these three things, but that doesnt make it any easier.....

Keep your fingers crossed...big time - and if you pray - say one for me. :)

Everyone's making changes!!!

It has been 2 of the craziest weeks - and from the looks of other blogs....same goes for everyone else.

Another thing that I find a lot of bloggers have in common right now, is eating healthier. And im no exception Every year, i do a quasi version of Lent, this being my third, where I give up something - a bunch of somethings. The first year I did it for 47 days; last year, 68 days; this year, 80.

I give up: chocolate, white sugar, all desserts (which is why Miss A ate my and her dessert at our last restaurant outing), no candy, no white flour, bread, pizza, pasta, crackers, pancakes, etc etc etc...basically all i eat is on the stove oatmeal, chicken, fish, brown rice, fruit and veggies. Plus all the kickboxing - you can imagine the results!

Today is day 20. I didnt have any of the wretched headaches this time around, and am feeling pretty good...although - last week, I almost cried I wanted a cookie so bad. And at a late work meeting, where they ordered pizza for dinner, I had to watch everyone else enjoy it. I was pretty miserable that day too. LOL

20 days down...60 days to go - my friend Justine accuses me of doing this for bragging rights. And I'll be honest, I love getting people on the "lent bandwagon"....And I successfully recruit about 6 people a year. But I assure you, when they say "I hate you PP! Why did I do this?"...and my response is "you're having a hard time with it?? Its so easy! Quit then"...It remotivates them feeling they have to prove it to me - which i never understood! I dont do it to brag, I do it for the challenge...and having someone else to be miserable with is good times.

As well, whats kept me so busy, is my interview. Its this friday!!! EEK!!! Id be lying if I said I wasnt nervous. Apparently there's a role play where you have to ask probing questions to get to a hidden addiction that your client has. And I assure you "Pretend you have an addiction and dont tell me what it is" has quickly become my MOST favorite game. Ive been accosting people at work, and friends on msn....Im surprised I have any left at this point.

But after friday, i can sleep, and slightly relax a little, because at that point, its out of my hands. Ive been given some good adivce on how to prepare for this interview. And Im not taking all of those suggestions for grantid. Im still working my ass off. My laziness is not going to get in the way of me getting this job.

Fingers crossed!

OH - and on another note - I paid off my line of credit...which has been hundreds of dollars a month in payment, for the last 3 + years. I thought I would be more excited...but in all reality, Im not. Im surprised at how "meh" I am about having paid off this huge debt. and in fact, I actually had to come back to add it here, cause I'd totally forgotten. (But I did want it documented somewhere, so that when i read over my life one day, i'll remember). I suppose i'll be happy when the extra money isnt disappearing every month, but we'll see. LOL

Reflection

You know...life's funny.

We work hard at some things, and are lazy about other things - we prioritize things in our lives, and put all of our efforts into what we feel is most important.

We put a lot of ourselves into the things that we do...mostly things that go unnoticed, or unappreciated. I always used to say that the only place that life was fair, was at the gym. Its the only place that you get back exactly what you put into it...work out more, get better results, and vice versa.

However - sometimes...the stars align, and everything falls into place. The effort that you make towards yourself...or your future, pays off. The things that make us cry, and give us stress, end up being things that really progess us into the things we want to do - and we are reminded that we should never give up - regardless how infuriating, or upsetting life is sometimes. That our efforts are not always in vain, and they are recognized.

I passed my test....my interview is March 4th. :o)

PP gets pulled over....

So after my test, I went to visit a friend - and following 10 days of studying and being drained, i was so tired, i just wanted to get home. So im driving and I sort of stopped at a stop sign. A cop sees me and pulls me over.

He proceeds to be the biggest dick, and asks me to step out of my car as he takes my license. im standing at the side of the road, and he honks at me to come over - and he proceeds to show me the tape of me sort of stopping - I mean, he could have easily let it go, since i came to a 99% stop - but we all know how badge happy the police usually are....anyway, he had his car heat set to "cremate", and i said that it was so warm in there. He invites me to sit down inside (front seat) and proceeds to start a conversation as hes writing my ticket.

Turns out that we grew up in the same smallish city, and that we know a lot of the same people and that he grew up on the same street of an old friend. He then says "so what brought you here?" I tell him what I do for a living, and as a volunteer position, and he snaps his head at me and says "You're a fucking (insert position title here)????" and I say "yea, sorta. Why??"

He says "Why didnt you say so??? I dont even want to give you this ticket anymore" I ask if its a kickback of the one position that I have, and he puts his fingers to his lips and taps the car camera with his pencil and mouths to me that the car is miked. He gives me the ticket and says that he wants to walk me back to my car.

Outside, he says "so if you take it to court...and if you GO TO COURT, and blah blah blah court...Do you understand what im saying to you?" I said "no".

**For the record, I am fairly law abilding and fairly dense - apparently.

He says "OK - IF YOU TAKE THIS TO COURT..blah blah blah...then you come see me, and we work something out...and start carrying your business cards"

I go home that night, and call a friend who works at the same division as he does. She says that hes an idiot and that she'll call him tomorrow to see what sort of evidence he has...turns out, he doesnt have any.

I go to court in 6 months :o)

catching up on life.

The last 10 days has been CRAZY. All I did was study. Sacrificed sleeping, eating, going out (well...not so much going out..but you know). And it was so qiuet at my parents house - until they got home, and then it all went to hell.

My old room mate from toronto came to visit and she'd never really been down that way before, so i gave her the grand tour plus we did a whole bunch of touristy things etc. It was my dad's 60th birthday - so there was a party last weekend that we also had to get ready for.

I ended up staying at my parents sunday night too becuase I had to go to another office monday that was half way between niagara and toronto - which made sense to me, but I had lost so much study time, and was so frustrated at how loud everyone was - that I was in tears, and went to the quietest place I could think of....Miss Ash's sisters house. AND she has two teeny kids. I got more done there in 3 hours than i did all weekend.

Then i spent the majority of the week in the library studying with ear plugs (which i also had on the weekend, but my family is too loud for earplugs even) - and by wednesday night - I was so frustrated with the material, that I ended up leaving the library at 7:30 and going home. While i was walking home - and had resolved to never touch a CSC document again - I ironically got about 6 different text messages from people saying that they were thinking about me, and that they were wishing me luck for the test and that they knew i would do great.

It actually made me feel much better, and i went home, and studied some more.

The test was divided into 4 parts. First part was 5 MC questions, 2nd 10MC questions, 3rd 14MC questions, and 4th 5MC questions....

Thats it. LOL and after all the tears and frustration...i feel confident for the most part. Im not going to say that I passed for sure...but im feeling confident. I never understood when people ask how the test went - if I passed, it went well - if I didnt pass, it didnt go well. I mean, I know that you can gauge how you think you did - but If university taught me anything, its that sometimes I thought I aced a test, and then failed...and sometimes I think that i failed, and got an A.

(Side note - this actually happened to me once when i was taking one of my upper year sociology courses. I almost dropped the course before the midterm becuase I was so frustrated wtih the material, and trying to memorize it - but I wrote it anyway - and thought that i failed it, but when my score came out, and I got 87%, i had to go back and check three times).

SO - for now, we'll say that I answered the questions, and I feel confident. :)

Then i got pulled over by a cop - but I can save that for my next post.

Swirly Whirly

The last few days have been a total blur and complete whirlwind.

Year of spoil indeed!!! LOL

I decided to take a massive road trip in the last few days of April and first 10 or so days in May with some Aussies. My old room mate tossed around the idea, and I said "im in" and plans were well under way. Another of her friends is flying over from Australia to meet us in L.A. and we're going from there. 5 days in LA, 3 days in San Fransisco, 2 days in San Deigo, Over to Vegas for a few days, and then to the grand canyon for a few days. and then back to LA. Should be absolutely amazing. like...Amazing. So if any of you have been to those places (excluding Vegas of course, ive been) make any and all recommendations about dinner, resturants, things to do, and please include links if you have them. This has taken up a lot of time, sorting and organizing....but it should make for some amazing times, and fun posts. We're going to Disneyland for 2 days...and after being in Disney World for 2 days just a few months ago, im going to be disneyed out for the next little while.

Additionally - I decided (yesterday), that enough was enough, and I emailed CSC, as I wrote the test for them months ago!!! I was very nice and professional about it, and 2 hours later, I get an email back saying congratulations!! youve passed, and we're inviting you to write the next test (which is complicated to explain, but its actually 4 sections, and 2 tests on the same day). Coincidence that they emailed me....I guess we'll never know. BUT how exciting is this!!!! This is step 3 out of 4 in the process to becoming a federal parole officer! Woot. I wont even complain about how slow they are...LOL im too excited now.

And im dog sitting this week. My parents are in Jamaica, so im burning my vacation (since i have so much to use before the end of march), so i agreed to watch the dog while they were gone. Luckily, I actually now have a week to study. Ive been working on this all morning, and have a hot date with the library today. If I fail this one, it will be my own lazy fault. (Yautca - I actually thought about how much you study when you have those financial tests, and already tsk tsked myself for not starting yesterdayafter I got the email. LOL)

So thats been my life folks. Trip planning, and future planning. And for the rest of this week, it will be studying, but I will be certain to post the results of the test - which should be greuling and make me want to cry....god knows the last one did.

On a side note - its my dad's 60th birthday tomorrow...and on the 20th, the 12 year anniversary of the death of one of my best and closest friends. Usually this week is very sad for me, but good things are happening, and im in a much better place than usual. I miss you Craig..and Happy Birthday to my dad :)

The 10 Evil Commandments

So i bought this book - a hilarious daily diary type account of satan's rise to the head of the underworld....(super cheap table sale incase you were wondering)....these are the kinds of things i find funny.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods but me
Mister high and mighty's getting too damned righteous. Thou shalt prefer the devil to him.

2.Though shalt not make to thyself any graven imagines
Thou shalt feel free to portray me in all my glory (especially if thou captureth my rugged good looks)

3. Though shalt not take the lord's name in vain
Thou shouldst blashpheme, cuss, and use utter profanities whenever things dont go thy way

4. Remember the sabbath day and make it holy
Thou shall use the weekends profitably to catch up with all the sins thou hast missed out on during the week

5. Honor thy father and mother
Ensure the life insurance and wills are up to date

6. Thou shalt not kill
Thou shalt not let any slight go unavenged

7. Thou shalt not commit adultry
Thou shall not get found out

8. Thou shalt not steal
Thou shall consider it an "indefinite loan"

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shall be economical with the truth

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, fields, man servants, etc...
Oh come on! Thou shall desire and covet to thy heart's content, especially if its a nice ass.

2010 - you are but a faded memory of what was.

2010 took a lot of people from me that i did not want to go....and brought me back a lot of people that I never wanted again.

I really started to rationalize, and review my life (as everyone does this time of year) and realized that I needed sort of a summary of my Resolutions.

I resolve to take life less seriously, and spoil myself to something once a month. Be it an expensive purse, long weekend road trip, day at the spa...etc. I think that this is a good way of having more time for myself, and dedicating more time to the pursuit of "all things PP". I need to refamiliarize myself with things that I like, and find out what I dont like anymore - see how my tastes have changed.

And...if anything - this year in men has taught me that my tastes have definitely changed - for the better I think. I was wrong about this past week at work being bliss. My ex came into town, and I could not believe how negatively it affected my sleep, my functionability, my daily stress levels - of course, getting 39 text messages in one night asking me to go fetch him to hook up in my car didnt help. He said that if I couldnt have a mature meeting and a night of casual sex, than something was wrong with me, and to go fuck myself.

We havent seen each other in 2 years. I have indeed blogged about this man (and I use that term loosely) before. He is under a VERY misguided impression of what happened 2 years ago when we split...and thinks that we could actually have something casual - when in reality...one text message saying he was in the city, took every step that id made from him in 2 years, and affected me so negatively...

So this week, I drank...a lot. And after days of avoiding my house, phone and cell phone - out of sheer dread - i decided that it was time to make a change.

My friends (toronto, and niagara) came through in true fashion - were there to support me, and kept me VERY busy at night time so that I wouldnt be tempted to see him. I do love the drama - but I think this year, may be dedicated to living drama free - because everyone said "I know youre going to see him, but just be careful - you know how this is going to end" and to everyone's surprise, I avoided him like the plague.

My cousin's status on Facebook was to: remember that how you spend your New Years is how your next year will be....Which made me miserable - because I was planning on being by myself after work with a pizza, being miserable - but instead, I made some very fast plans, and went to a Wii pizza party at my sisters, hung out with my neices, and then out with great friends at night; followed up with great friends, poutine and pancakes today. Lots of laughter ( a few tears), and over all, a decent night.

If what my cousin wrote is true - then my next year shall be filled with amazing friends, family, good times, laughter, good food, and taking control of my emotions instead of letting them control me.

NOW - ive got 12 months of spoiling ahead of me....Whats for January....Bring on the Year of PP. :)