So i bought this book - a hilarious daily diary type account of satan's rise to the head of the underworld....(super cheap table sale incase you were wondering)....these are the kinds of things i find funny.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods but me
Mister high and mighty's getting too damned righteous. Thou shalt prefer the devil to him.
2.Though shalt not make to thyself any graven imagines
Thou shalt feel free to portray me in all my glory (especially if thou captureth my rugged good looks)
3. Though shalt not take the lord's name in vain
Thou shouldst blashpheme, cuss, and use utter profanities whenever things dont go thy way
4. Remember the sabbath day and make it holy
Thou shall use the weekends profitably to catch up with all the sins thou hast missed out on during the week
5. Honor thy father and mother
Ensure the life insurance and wills are up to date
6. Thou shalt not kill
Thou shalt not let any slight go unavenged
7. Thou shalt not commit adultry
Thou shall not get found out
8. Thou shalt not steal
Thou shall consider it an "indefinite loan"
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shall be economical with the truth
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, fields, man servants, etc...
Oh come on! Thou shall desire and covet to thy heart's content, especially if its a nice ass.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Saturday, January 01, 2011
2010 - you are but a faded memory of what was.
2010 took a lot of people from me that i did not want to go....and brought me back a lot of people that I never wanted again.
I really started to rationalize, and review my life (as everyone does this time of year) and realized that I needed sort of a summary of my Resolutions.
I resolve to take life less seriously, and spoil myself to something once a month. Be it an expensive purse, long weekend road trip, day at the spa...etc. I think that this is a good way of having more time for myself, and dedicating more time to the pursuit of "all things PP". I need to refamiliarize myself with things that I like, and find out what I dont like anymore - see how my tastes have changed.
And...if anything - this year in men has taught me that my tastes have definitely changed - for the better I think. I was wrong about this past week at work being bliss. My ex came into town, and I could not believe how negatively it affected my sleep, my functionability, my daily stress levels - of course, getting 39 text messages in one night asking me to go fetch him to hook up in my car didnt help. He said that if I couldnt have a mature meeting and a night of casual sex, than something was wrong with me, and to go fuck myself.
We havent seen each other in 2 years. I have indeed blogged about this man (and I use that term loosely) before. He is under a VERY misguided impression of what happened 2 years ago when we split...and thinks that we could actually have something casual - when in reality...one text message saying he was in the city, took every step that id made from him in 2 years, and affected me so negatively...
So this week, I drank...a lot. And after days of avoiding my house, phone and cell phone - out of sheer dread - i decided that it was time to make a change.
My friends (toronto, and niagara) came through in true fashion - were there to support me, and kept me VERY busy at night time so that I wouldnt be tempted to see him. I do love the drama - but I think this year, may be dedicated to living drama free - because everyone said "I know youre going to see him, but just be careful - you know how this is going to end" and to everyone's surprise, I avoided him like the plague.
My cousin's status on Facebook was to: remember that how you spend your New Years is how your next year will be....Which made me miserable - because I was planning on being by myself after work with a pizza, being miserable - but instead, I made some very fast plans, and went to a Wii pizza party at my sisters, hung out with my neices, and then out with great friends at night; followed up with great friends, poutine and pancakes today. Lots of laughter ( a few tears), and over all, a decent night.
If what my cousin wrote is true - then my next year shall be filled with amazing friends, family, good times, laughter, good food, and taking control of my emotions instead of letting them control me.
NOW - ive got 12 months of spoiling ahead of me....Whats for January....Bring on the Year of PP. :)
I really started to rationalize, and review my life (as everyone does this time of year) and realized that I needed sort of a summary of my Resolutions.
I resolve to take life less seriously, and spoil myself to something once a month. Be it an expensive purse, long weekend road trip, day at the spa...etc. I think that this is a good way of having more time for myself, and dedicating more time to the pursuit of "all things PP". I need to refamiliarize myself with things that I like, and find out what I dont like anymore - see how my tastes have changed.
And...if anything - this year in men has taught me that my tastes have definitely changed - for the better I think. I was wrong about this past week at work being bliss. My ex came into town, and I could not believe how negatively it affected my sleep, my functionability, my daily stress levels - of course, getting 39 text messages in one night asking me to go fetch him to hook up in my car didnt help. He said that if I couldnt have a mature meeting and a night of casual sex, than something was wrong with me, and to go fuck myself.
We havent seen each other in 2 years. I have indeed blogged about this man (and I use that term loosely) before. He is under a VERY misguided impression of what happened 2 years ago when we split...and thinks that we could actually have something casual - when in reality...one text message saying he was in the city, took every step that id made from him in 2 years, and affected me so negatively...
So this week, I drank...a lot. And after days of avoiding my house, phone and cell phone - out of sheer dread - i decided that it was time to make a change.
My friends (toronto, and niagara) came through in true fashion - were there to support me, and kept me VERY busy at night time so that I wouldnt be tempted to see him. I do love the drama - but I think this year, may be dedicated to living drama free - because everyone said "I know youre going to see him, but just be careful - you know how this is going to end" and to everyone's surprise, I avoided him like the plague.
My cousin's status on Facebook was to: remember that how you spend your New Years is how your next year will be....Which made me miserable - because I was planning on being by myself after work with a pizza, being miserable - but instead, I made some very fast plans, and went to a Wii pizza party at my sisters, hung out with my neices, and then out with great friends at night; followed up with great friends, poutine and pancakes today. Lots of laughter ( a few tears), and over all, a decent night.
If what my cousin wrote is true - then my next year shall be filled with amazing friends, family, good times, laughter, good food, and taking control of my emotions instead of letting them control me.
NOW - ive got 12 months of spoiling ahead of me....Whats for January....Bring on the Year of PP. :)
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