Saturday, March 17, 2007

11:24pm

What do you do, when someone youve known your entire life, turns out to be someone completely different then who you thought they were?

I have said, a million times, that as much as you know someone, you never REALLY know everything about them. I live by it...i swear by it. And it has constantly been the right advice to myself.

Turns out, someone I know, VERY we...let me rephrase, someone I THOUGHT i knew well, has been a coke addict for the past 2 years....he's broke up with his fiance, and moved in with his parents.

Now, the social service worker in me, says "Okay PP, you've done this a million times. Coke, no problem. Lets look at our options, and resources available." And once the persons been councelled, and spoken to...and supported *not to keep doing coke, but a supportive friendly ear*, they move on their way, and you can take them by the hand, but you can only lead them so far.....

However, this time, its someone that I know, and totally love and care about. Im having trouble processing that concept in my brain. XXX is a coke addict.....I can say the words, but Its not registering. How is this possible??? I ve seen this person at least 100 times in the past 2 years. How did I not SEE it....I do realize that I am not perfect, and that I didnt see it, becuase it wasnt something that I was looking for. I never would have thought to look for it.

Now, again, the SS worker in me pipes up and says "PP...at least he's come forward about it. Hes said something, which is always the hardest step. He could have not said anything, and found himself in jail eventually...cause thats where he would have wound up. But he's talking about it, which is a positive step towards recovery...It will still be a LONG road, but at least hes facing the right direction."

And then, i think about who it is, and I feel completely helpless....and lost...and think that no matter how good I am at my job, Ive always been able to detach. I cant detach from this person. Im stuck with them....and in that realization, my entire sense of what is real, has come crashing down around me.....and im staring at the peices thinking "What the fuck do we do now??"

10 comments:

Miss Ash said...

To answer your last question, you do nothing other than support him. If he decides that he wants to go into treatment then that will be his decision. It's up to him. At least he came forward about it, that's a positive sign.

Dawn said...

I agree with Miss Ash, you love him and support him through whatever he needs and eventually decides

yrautca said...

Serious answer: agree with Ms Ash. These days people know the ramifications of drug abuse. When he is ready he will do something about it. You should prolly give him info on that.

Jerk-off answer: Well try and persuade him to start doing diet coke first. Then gradually introduce 7-Up and Fanta.

C said...

Ash and Dawn - Thats what Ive been telling everyone. It has been THE topic of conversation today, and so much shit has gone down. Ash, I left a message on your machine about what happened here while I was at work today.

Y - LOL!!! diet coke. That IS a jerk off answer, but I TOTALLY needed that laugh.

Big Ben said...

You just have to continue to be their friend. Don't act any different. Let him keep that part of his life the same, there are too many changes going on in the rest.

whatigotsofar said...

Just don't do what I did, tell them off and never see them again. Its about him, not you. Just be his friend. That's all you can do.

Natalia said...

I also believe you never know anyone completely. But some people hold secrets far darker than others. Don't be too hard on yourself for finding it hard to cope. I think it's only natural. It's never the same when it's people you know.

-N

Amichai said...

I have no idea. I've been lucky enough never to be in that situation (at least not yet); which is surprising considering some of my freinds.

I have nothing to add, save that it is awfully scarym, and now you've got me suspecting everyone I know, as to how well I Really know them.

Sexy Suburbanite said...

Okay, honestly, I think him telling you is a total cry for help. The fact that he's telling you now, after 2 years, says to me that he's finally ready to face the problem and that he wants you to be there with him through it. Like you said, lend an ear and really listen - he's probably saying more than simply words.

Hernesto G said...

at least he has not (yet!) been on the show "To Catch a Predator"