Thursday, March 30, 2006

Portable City and Peaches

Jennifer and Ashley both recently reminded me of two stories I had completely forgotten about. Maybe i'm getting old, these are their stories.

I went to a highschool that was built to accomodate 500 people, 1200 went there. So if you can imagine, it was packed. We had 5 minutes to get from class to class, and that wasnt ever enough, because fighting the traffic in the hallways was horrible. Administration used to joke about putting stop lights in the hall ways....I thought it was funny, but all joking aside, they would have come in handy.

In order to educate the overflow, the school put in about 50 portables out into the field. It took up almost half the footballl field, maybe thats why our team sucked so bad. We had nowhere to practise. But actually, in grade 9, we had 5 classes a day. 2 semesters. In both of those semesters, I never had one class inside the higschool. *incase you dont know what a portable is, its like a yellow trailer but its a fully equipped classroom, just outside*

One day, I'm sitting in class talking to this guy. Neil. A rather heavy guy, and we're all sitting around talking, instead of doing work. He's leaning back on his chair, the front two legs off the floor, the back two legs on the floor. So hes leaning back, blah blah blahing the last hour away, and i guess his weight was too much for the chair to handle....the back two legs of his chair, went right through the floor, and the chair broke under him. Of course we pissed our of the funniest things id ever seen.

And Peahces was this guy who used to follow me around this bar that we used to...frequent I guess is the word. LOL!. The bar was called Gords. We were there religiously a few days every week. It was the kind of place where we parked at the back, and walked through the kitchen to get to the bar....the kind of place where we knew the management, and when the bar closed, we'd all head up to the office, relax while they did their paperwork, and then head back downstairs because they turned the taps on, and made chicken fingers....The kind of place where the dj *who was also the manager* used to call us to the dj booth to do shots.....the kind of place that let Ash and LD go in to decorate the entire upstairs of the bar for my birthday....the kind of place where we were allowed to go behind the bar to refill our own pop, or water.....the kind of bar we hung out at so long, that the cleaning crew kicked us out at 7am. Fuck I miss that place.

Anyway, Peaches was this guy...i barely remember him. Miss Ash mentioned him not so long ago, but my memory is sketchy. He always wore a peach silk shirt. *hence the name peaches, and this was MANY years ago, when guys in silk was fashionable* he used to follow me around and stare...It made me nervous....I was young, and wasnt used to that kind of attention. I dont remember what he looks like, but it was mildly unfortunate. Thats all I remember. After months of seeing him there, and seeing him be so obvious about it, he never said one word. Miss Ash, and LD leave me at a table one night, its close to closing, and Peaches comes out of nowhere. He sits down at the table beside me, but facing me....I can feel him creeps me out. I get up and walk away. I dont care about being obviously annoyed. It was the last time I ever remember seeing him. Ash or LD....if you guys can expand on my broken memories, i would greatly appreciate it.

Hey Ash...remember that night...the night Pemikin took his hat and rode off into the sunset? The night it was the first time anyone had seen Jimbo do a girls pants up....and remember Glen*? And that I LOOOOOOVVVVEEEEDDD him? LOL!...And for what its woth Ash? Those blue sunglasses were a small price to pay to have you come pick me up in the blizzard. Good times girls...good times.

*Glen had a tattoo on the inside of his was on the inside of his bottom lip. It said "Airborne"....

Monday, March 27, 2006

Blogger Confessional© The fifth

....It was shaping out to be an exciting week, and then it sorta stopped, and nothing happened...and then I almost died.

This week I:

- Applied to teachers college, keep your fingers crossed

- Went to a friends place and turned on their tv to put in a movie, and when I turned it on, it was the main menu of a dvd he was watching Screw My Husband #5, and I was like hm...whats this?? So I turned up the volume *of the main credits* and started dancing around to it. He came in and was like "What are you listening to???" And then when he saw me dancing, and what was on t.v. he got totally embarassed....but then we laughed about it.

- Saw a mans toupee blow right off his head, but I already told that story.

- Roasted marshmallows over a candle....yum

- got an email from someone, who I did something "shocking and appauling with in the student center"....It was mildly entertaining...I shared it with Jennifer. He has a girlfriend....thats the only NEW news.

- Was sitting in class, and my hair was hanging over the back of my chair, the girl behind me started flicking it with her pen, and I turned around and completely told her off.

- Had to fully admit that I know nothing about HTML. By recommendation of the Sexy Suburbanite, I will admit that I dont know how to add links to this page, I dont know how to do anything on this page...someone set it all up for me. I'm useless when it comes to computers.

- Watched season 2, and (almost all of) 3 of the 48 hours.

- Almost died. I had a friend over, and we were eating crackers and peanut butter...and I almost choked to death on a cracker...I couldnt all. My friend put his finger down my throat and crunched up the cracker, and when I could breathe again, made me drink water, to dissolve the rest. It only took up about 30 seconds of my day...but it felt like forever. The inside of my throat is scratched to shit...and it hurts to talk, It sounds like I lost my voice.

- Went to the Outback Steakhouse for dinner....and will never go there ever again, although they made a good martini.

- got a phone call from "the millionaire" from last semester. He misses me....HA! Its been good to talk to him...he wants to go out for dinner this week.....

- Caught someone in a major lie.....I confronted him about it, and laughed when he said that it was my fault that he lied to me. He said, that he tries to give me the truth, but I dont accept it...To that, I said "Truth? Whatever, dont use big words you dont understand"...and then I told him that he was a really bad liar....And then I told him when he learned to tell the truth, then try it out on me...So much for avoiding drama.....

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Maury's Wigs Dont Come Off

I was going to wait to post this until my blogger confessional, but it's SO funny, that I couldnt wait.

I went to get some groceries yeseterday, amongst other errands. *funny how when you're an adult, they're called errands, but when you're a kid, they're called chores*...I digress.

So i'm walking behind this guy through the parking lot, and he was one of those really smug looking guys, who gave a really mean look to a heavier girl that walked past him....Anyway, he was that type.

It was an unusually windy day, and my hair was blowing all over the place, and as I reach up to move the hair out of my face, that smug asshole is still in front of me, and I saw the wind catch his hair, and blow it right off his head, and through the parking lot.....I stopped walking, as my jaw hit the ground, and my eyes followed this brown chunk of hair piece as it rolled past one car after another.

The guy in front of me slapped his hand over top of his head, and turned and looked at me, and I BURST out laughing, like doubled over laughing.......And the last thing thing that I caught a glimpse of was this guy running through the parking lot chaising his fake hair....with his combover pieces flapping in the wind.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

MTV Canada Launch my brother in law is one of those know the type. Whenever there's a band, pot smoking snowboarder, or celebrity to be found, hes the one chasing them with a video camera, conducting interviews for MTV Canada.

He's been galavanting around the globe on tour with Simple Plan, filming something, and a bunch of other things for the Launch of MTV Canada, that happens today at 6pm. I dont know the details of it, all I know is that he's been a busy boy...late nights, and lots of travel.

Anyway, today is (obviosuly) the launch of MTV Canada, and he promises that whatever they're doing, is going to be big, and tres chick. *Maybe he'll be so kind to post a comment and let you know the specifics* I guess the channel is different all over the place, so check your local listings.

Anyway, the website also launches today at 6pm.....their website is

*Big Thanks to PX for coaching me through turning writing into a link!

I get a lot of traffic on this blog, so he harassed me into posting about it. LOL!! Kidding.

So that's the skinny kids. Too bad we all cant go to the launch party's probably gonna be good...And having connections like this should be good for at LEAST a few pairs of decent concert tickets!!!

Dont forget to tune in!!! Channel AND website launch is at 6pm tonight!!!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Blogger Confessional© Quadrilogy

This week hasnt been that exciting, but i'll let you know what happened anyway.

This week I:

- Played the newest DVD version of Candyland (so many times) with my neices, that I dont care if I ever see that game again.

- Watched wasnt as gross as I expected it to be.....

- Went to a bar on St. Pattys day, where the clientelle is not what I would exactly consider the "A list" of St. Catharines. The local toothless prostitute managed to hit on the only gay man at our table.

- Found a post card that says "I'm not mean, you're just a sissy"...and have full intentions on mailing it to someone.

- watched some drunk guy, who was running with his friends past the bar we were in, fall flat on his face, and his body skidded across the concrete. We all applauded his performance, and lauged out loud.

- met a girl with the same tattoo as my display picture.....and then later found out, that she punched out "The Head" from that loser Canadian band "Wave" and liked her even more....*you might be familiar with their one, and only single....something about them Going to California...I dont know it was pretty bad, but that band is from Niagara, so we saw them everywhere....*

- Went shopping in Buffalo with LD....and indulged in something sinful, but totally worth it, and I think She would agree. We also went to a 50's Diner for lunch...she liked her french fries.

- Talked so much about Las Vegas, I feel like we've already been

- Played my first game of Poker ever....and lost.

- Learned not to be so trusting....It has been repeatedly thrown in my face. I know a lot of people with BIG mouths....people who DESERVE to die...but probably wont. an effort to remind myself not to trust everyone that comes along, I went to Hot Topic, and bought a tshirt that says "I (Heart) Revenge."

- Learned that Winnipeg, is the absolute Center of North America

- Did NOT eat any chocolate, even though those granola bars, and my favorite cookies at the Mandarin looked soooo yummy....BIG thanks to Miss Ash, who I went out for lunch with, and while she was eating one of my favorite cookies...she knew I couldnt eat one, so looked at me and said "MMMMMM"...and then proceeded to puch her finger into the middle of one, so I could see how soft and chewy they were....No chocolate is a lot harder than it sounds.

- Was forced to sit through 4 family dinners, in 6 days

- Went to the Casino with a friend, and after reading Big Bens blog entry about his trip to Niagara, think that I saw him there....

- Found myself looking forward to getting back to Windsor, which, in a million years, never thought would happen.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

It's a bright sunshiney day.

damn mother fucker piss ass stupid piece of fucking Shit. Fuck.

....That about covers it....

Monday, March 13, 2006

Come on me out.

So i've been recently weeding my "Messenger Garden", and have been blocking and deleting people who i've come to not so much like anymore, because of various reasons. And have come to various conclusions.

The option should not be "Block this contact", or whatever it is along those lines, But should rather be "Get this fucking idiot out of my life".

In the privacy box, it should not have Contact list, and Blocked should be "Friends" and "Morons" a reminder to why you blocked them to begin with.

I have recently had a lot of problems with the people on my messenger list, being fucking idiots, and people I once called "friends", now piss me off so much, that i'd rather pull my eyeballs out of the sockets than have another conversation with them. *Like that guy Franco, remember him? I posted a messenger that I had with him...maybe in january*.

The person that you block, should ALSO be sent an email, that says something along the lines of "Please do not expect to see this person on MSN ever again. They have blocked you. You are an idiot."

AND, once you block someone, you should never be allowed to add them to your MSN ever a reminder of how stupid you were the first time you added them.

Think about it, this could be great for women in abusive situations, or exes...

Or others, who you happen to meet, and find out that they're losers...cause honestly, who hasnt that happened to?

Friday, March 10, 2006

Blogger Confessional© The third

These past two weeks have been insane, it was reading week, I went home *for the first time in 2 months*, hung out with my lovelies....SO much.

This week I:

- hung out with all of my Italian friends...friends with names like Mikey "The Coat", Frankie "Scarpine", "La Facia" "Valley Valore"....Dont your friends have names like this?....when you meet people, arent they intorduced like that? How many 26 year old Italians do you know that own 4 cars, and 3 houses...and dont have a job becuase of an "accident"? I'm "Mezzo Italiano"...but i've seen some questionable shit in my life......heard some questionable things....

- Picked up a volunteer position...i miss my field. Getting back into it is going to be wonderful. They told me that I was so qualified, i'm running three of their volunteer programs, and this way, which they told me I should have no problem getting a job there when things open up internally....horray....

- Dropped a class.....Its my own fault, I never bothered with the class, and did no work in it. And when it came time to do the essay, I didnt do it. I took someone elses essay, grabbed some books from the library, and put a lot...well....a bit of work into it...but got the paper from Miss Ash. She's brilliant, she got a great mark. I'm the idiot who didnt hand it in "as is". Its true. Cheaters never prosper...who knew...

- Got the "phone call" from someone who was in my life for a long time, telling me that getting rid of me was the biggest mistake of his life....and that he has no stability without me....I know the damage he can do....I dont know what to think.....except, that maybe, he's too late

- Almost had a COW when I was trying to study, and the people who live above me were listening to "the sounds of whales" full blast....on repeat, for at least 2 hours....I had a friend over, we were crying laughing.....whales sound like nails on a chalkboard when you're trying to concentrate....

- Had a quasi-conversation, with a guy, about love and being in love....Although I at first questioned his opinions, and asked him to elaborate....his insight was very profound. And, sometimes, through all the sarcasm, and jokes, he makes a lot of sense.

- Made plans to go home again next cousin is moving to Singapore, with her boyfriend, as his job is moving him there for a year. Shes going to go with him until August...all expenses paid. I'm jealous, of course...but I dont know if I could last there. Illegal to chew gum you know...they CANE you. I'm a gum chewer....they'd cane me for sure.

- did something that most people would consider "shocking and appauling" in the student center. LOL....

- Was leaving the library one night, where the parking lot was particularily busy....One man saw me walking to my car, put his ticker on, and followed me.....I deliberately walked past my car, and walked up onto the sidewalk....he sped off....I went back to my car.

- Had a "friend" of the Italian ones....he was horrified that I had never seen one episode of the "Sopranos"...and brought season one over for me to watch *as season 6 starts on sunday*....As I am not much of a TV watcher, I thought season one would last me about a week....I watched the entire season in less than 2 days....Its a good show. HOWEVER, I know nothing that happened past season one...."Tutti stazite...non ti parlare di Sopranos."

- Set the wheels in motion to get my new degree...And had to hand in my old one...they shredded it.....that was hard to watch....REALLY hard. In fact, I cant even begin to tell you how difficult it was for me....they shredded my degree. Sure i'm getting a new one, but come on....Shredded....I feel like I lost a piece of my past....

- decided that world domination might not be a bad idea.

Happy weekend everyone.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I'd like to thank the Academy

This is my 100th post. Which is hard to believe, seeing as I never, in a million years, thought that this blog would maintain my interest for more than a month...but here I am....100. Wow.

And in typical fasion, in honor of my 100th post, I'd like to bitch about guys.

For the past couple of weeks my friend J, has been going on and on about what a loser his friend Dwayne is. No job, no car, manic depressive, lives at know, the dream boat that every girls hopes and dreams for.

Then last night, I called my friend J, and he says "Hey...I told Dwayne about you, he wants to take you out for lunch. Do you wanna go with him?"

I cant grasp the concept of how my friend talks about what a loser this guy is, and then thinks its a good idea to set me up on a date with him....a blind date no less. And honestly, I cant express how insulted I am....So I get off the phone with J, and decide to call him back and find out what the fuck he's thinking.

He says that Dwayne needs a good kick in the ass from a girl who wont put up with a guy like that, and thinks that I am just the girl to do it. He tells me this, of course, and laughs his head off....I dont know what he's thinking. And then, he has the nerve to say "So...Giving him your number was a Bad Idea then??"

Am I wrong girls? Is this something to be slightly pissed about? J says hes a good looking guy, but thats about all he has going for him....Oh, that and the fact that although he owns a house, cant afford to live there, so he rents it out, and lives at home.

...anyway...on my hundreth post, i'd like to say thanks for those of you who were, and continue to be, my inspiration to keep this blog going.....Without your feedback, id have given up on it long ago.....

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Oscars and Skateboarders

This is the THIRD day i've come to campus to get some work done, and the third day that i've done absolutely nothing.....I'm so uninterested in doing work this weekend.

Today is the Oscars. I have never watched the Oscars, and I have no intentions of ever watching the Oscars....although, on days like this, when I know Miss Ash is glued to her tv, I like to call her just to hear her answer the phone and say "What are you doing, The Oscars are on"....and then I laugh, and she says "Ugh...Good bye". And I imagine there's a major eye roll that accompanies the "Ugh" bit of that.

I dont know who's nominated for what, or what's nominated for what...all i know is that it's usually about 4 hours long, and seriously, I cant imagine EVER sitting for 4 hours watching a tv show, about movies...Oh...DAMMIT....LOL..Uhh...except there's ONE special that bravo puts out around's called "100 Scariest Movie Moments of all time" It's 5 hours..but I've never seen the whole thing. But I WOULD watch that.

You know, Once Miss Ash's household was picked for the Neilson ratings....maybe she'll blog about it one day....the outcome is mildly entertaining....

Its push those "friend" buttons...just like Jenny pushes my "Bears in Politics" button. When you've been friends as long as we have, it's something to look forward to...Thats the perk of the long term friendship...being able to annoy eachother, on purpose, and it's done out of love.

I signed Miss Ash up on a "Cowboy Outfitters" website....and added her to their mailing list. Those belt buckles were to DIE over.

I signed a friend up on the KY Jelly website, and got them to send samples of KY warming lube to her parents house...LOL! But it was done under her she knew they were for her.

*sitting at the library, I'm looking out the window at a bunch of skate boarding know the ones who wear their pants around their asses.....And one of them was mildly cute....and I cant help but wonder...Is it wrong to date someone who's primary mode of transportation, is a skateboard?

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Horror Beyond Horrors.

I've just come back to Windsor, although it is mid-reading week, I had to come back to hand in an assignment, and of course the UFC is on this weekend, and with people I know fighting on this card, there's NO WAY i'll miss it.

My week at home was loads of fun, and Jenny, i'm sorry I didnt get the chance to make it to your place, but I had to stay home on the weekend and watch Abby. Tuesday was a shopping adventure, as me and my friend that's getting married in Vegas this May spent the majority of the day shopping for her wedding dress. And we found one, in one day, that's stunning, and she bought it off the rack, which is good becuase she doesnt have loads of time to wait for it to come in.

In regards to my last post, I wanted to admit that a couple of years back, I made a NKOTB "Greatest Hits" CD.....*the one I have actually I made for Ms. Ash, but have yet to give it to her*....It's rediculous to listen, but its fun driving music....everyone sings along....but I digress...

This past week, that I was home, I spent the large majority of time stressing over my paper, and working on it diligently.....And a BIG thanks goes out to Ms. Ash, for coming through at the last minute with a paper, that she donated to my cause. LOL! NO, I did not just hand in her paper, but I did take the sources from it, copied about 2 pages out of 8, and threw in a load of my own ideas, and a bunch of new sources.....before anyone gets on me for plagiarism.

I come back to Windsor, and i'm stuffy....i am not sick, and I feel fine, except my skin is itchy, and i'm sniffly....I lay down to take a nap last night at 6pm.....I dont wake up until 10am this morning. THAT Was so lovely. I slept for a very long time, with intermittant wake ups that total about 2 hours.

I am still stuffy in the morning, so I call my doctor. Since it's reading week they are not busy, and I go right over. My concern is allergies....we have a dog at my parents house, that sheds, and I ate a surplus of one specific food over the past 7 days that I have not really eaten since christmas...but because I was sneezing like crazy all weekend, and i was all stuffy, I went to talk to them about it.

I talked to the doctor about my week, and she thinks that becuase i've had a dog my entire life, and it's never bothered me before, that it's likely not that....she thinks that it is possibly the one food that I ate a lot more of than I usually do.....

She thinks i'm allergic to Chocolate.

I wanted to cry...i didnt...but I wanted to. I'm already allergic to Vanilla, and Red food dye, which if you think about it, is in EVERYTHING....chocolate was my only refuge, and if i'm allergic to that too...i'll die. DIE. I
LOVE chocolate
...with all my heart.....But i'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's the dog hair. *although, every one of my friends here has a dog, and it doesnt bother me at all....but now that I think back about the times that i've eaten chocolate in the past 2-3 weeks, I remember having sneezing fits, and watery eyes.*

I think the Junk Food Gods are trying to tell me it all depends on whether or not i'm going to listen.