Things.

1. Today was my first ever venture to Good Will - I was accompanying a client who is restricted in her acess to the community. But as she shopped - I found a BRAND NEW Kate Spade purse that retails for almost 200 dollars....for $4.99. SCORE.

2. Wretched last names. Do we date people with them...how do we feel about them? would you ever date someone with the last name "Pooslop"?

3. I am being antagonized constantly by a variety of people. UGH.

4. I hate all Mac products. BOO to the evil empire.

5. I hate being allergic to red dye. I went to get some of that Crystal Light Raspberry - hoping that it wasnt pink, but I cant even drink it....sucks.

6. Work still sucks.

That is all. Proceed with your day.

PP has work problems....

So after my grandfather died - the dude I was hanging out with since March, turned out to be a douche, and that ended...and then someone broke into my car and stole my work binder that I take to prison, that has heaps of confidential information. All in all - not a good 2 weeks. But i'm moving on......Even though I said no dudes from june to september - this guy was in before that took place. So in all reality, I should have said no NEW dudes. But I digress....

I have a new client on my caseload - a sex offender. Im anxious about this. I sort of compartmentalize my clients by their charges - and if their charge is murder, or fraud, or theft, or importing or whatever - I sort of have a mental rolodex of things, and programs they can take part in. But sex offenders....i've never worked with someone who had this charge before, and I never thought my job was hard. I've never stressed over a client until now.

Here are the million dollar questions: How do I put my personal feelings about their charge aside? How do I look past their charge, and help them out, when I don't want to? How do I not have bias and judgement against someone like this?

Im professional, ridiculously professional (except for having the binder stolen which wasn't my fault)....In November, a client who commit murder went to stab me in the rib cage, and I deflected it, and they ended up slashing my hand open for fucks sake - and we had lunch together on wednesday. I know how to be professional.....

But sex offenders make me nervous. And this one is on the worse end.

Im considering going to see someone professionally. Just to get another professional opinion of maybe how to deal with my anxiety over having them as a client, and to help me put aside my biases. But in the end, I don't know.

If I think about how I compartmentalize my clients by their charges, I'm nervous because I don't know the community supports to offer this client. But if I think on a personal level, i'm nervous, because I don't know if I can put my personal feelings aside to do my job in a productive, and nonjudgemental way.

any suggestions?

Crisis Averted....

YIPPEE!!! all fixed. Thanks internet stranger!!!

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

I Pushed a button to see what a new template would be like. it CHANGED everything. my blogroll is gone - I dont know what any of your addresses are, and I have NO idea how to put it back or edit HTML, or do anything like that.

I changed my blog to this stupid grass, by accident, and it fucked everything up.

Please understand that I didnt even know what html is. I dont know how to change it, edit it, add it, I dont know where it goes - HTML might as well be Anciet hebrew + rocket science.

I know i know...you get it. Its hard. HELP!!! LOL

Sigh to July

I cant believe its July already. From June 17 to yesterday, the entire month has disappeared - wrought with trips to the hospital, Canada Day shenanigans (that involved the combination of cotton candy and beer - which tastes as gross as it sounds....), and a funeral.

The death of my grandfather was very fast and unexpected. I worked 3 days from June 17 to yesterday. This will be my first week back at work in almost a month!!!

My poor goal list has taken a serious hit. I havent done anything of what ive supposed to have done. I havent read any books....I havent been working out....i have eaten sort of healthy, and I havent gained a pound, which is a testament to eating well enough - for now. but worst of all...i havent gotten rid of the dudes. I started out really well with that, but it sort of went downhill, and have been sort of "whatevering" with someone. BUT - it ended recently when he expressed certain opinions which i did NOT agree with.

However, ive got a renewed sense of clarity in regards to my job, and feel refreshed and stress free. So the next little while is all about regrounding myself and getting myself back on track....and catching up on a month of life that I missed.