I have a new client on my caseload - a sex offender. Im anxious about this. I sort of compartmentalize my clients by their charges - and if their charge is murder, or fraud, or theft, or importing or whatever - I sort of have a mental rolodex of things, and programs they can take part in. But sex offenders....i've never worked with someone who had this charge before, and I never thought my job was hard. I've never stressed over a client until now.
Here are the million dollar questions: How do I put my personal feelings about their charge aside? How do I look past their charge, and help them out, when I don't want to? How do I not have bias and judgement against someone like this?
Im professional, ridiculously professional (except for having the binder stolen which wasn't my fault)....In November, a client who commit murder went to stab me in the rib cage, and I deflected it, and they ended up slashing my hand open for fucks sake - and we had lunch together on wednesday. I know how to be professional.....
But sex offenders make me nervous. And this one is on the worse end.
Im considering going to see someone professionally. Just to get another professional opinion of maybe how to deal with my anxiety over having them as a client, and to help me put aside my biases. But in the end, I don't know.
If I think about how I compartmentalize my clients by their charges, I'm nervous because I don't know the community supports to offer this client. But if I think on a personal level, i'm nervous, because I don't know if I can put my personal feelings aside to do my job in a productive, and nonjudgemental way.
any suggestions?
11 comments:
hun, it sounds like you totally have the tools to do this already. you just have a bit of a mental roadblock put up... and i know you will work through it. how else would you have been able to be professional with your other client that slashed your hand? you did it - and that's amazing to me.
... I should also add that it seems to me that one of the bigger hangups you mentioned is that you aren't as familiar with the community support programs for this kind of person as you are for other types. Maybe if you focus on researching that part of things, you'll be more confident going into it.
thats the thing bleph - you and I have known each other since we were 4....so i trust your advice as much as anyone - but when i think that I say things about community programming - im hardwired to think like that, and its my main focus. I have the #1 sex offender psychologist available to me - so she can give me all the resources, im not worried about the programming so much, and feel like im using it as an excuse to cover up how i REALLY feel towards the client. Its not that the confidence isnt there....i just dont want to work with her, and thats what I need to get past becuase I have no choice.
I've got nothing.
But I'll say a little prayer to the universe that it works out good.
Thanks Berly!!! Me too.
I think your idea of talking to someone is great. Do you have someone at your work who you consider a mentor that could help you? Or could you network with someone else who works with sex offenders?
I'm also sorry about the other shitty stuff that happened to you, boo. Hope that you're through your run of bad luck for now.
Oh! And I'd love to hear about your Boston shortcuts! My email is christielli123@gmail.com if you want to share! Thanks!
Carry pepper spray, here's how to properly use it. Spray the guy's face, then your spray his crotch. Even if the crotch is still clothed. Trust me on this one. Pepper spray will soak through the clothes and attach itself to hair. Trust me.
'Christielli - Ok, I'll email you. What are you looking for? everything, and places to go? MAKE SURE you dont take the 90 through albany - its a nightmare. LOL but i'll email you.
WIGSF - what if there is no hair?? Then what?
Don't know. I had plenty of hair when I got sprayed.
There is BEING non-judgemental and there is ACTING non-judgemental. As long as you dont sabbotage thier progress its ok. And I know that no matter what, progress is what you want to see in the case.
Watch some interviews with sex offenders, desensitize yourself to the idea of the offense being the "whole" of the person...just as you would not consider the offense to be the "whole" of any of the other clients.
Sex offenses are hard, and they touch a nerve, as they should! But...as we have done with many clients pull yourself thru each day, each conversation as you go along and debrief, cry, scream, pray meditate (whatever) when you leave. Who knows? They may end up being the most interesting person you've ever come into contact with, for good or bad...
wigsf - someone sprayed you with pepper spray on your "area"???? And whats with all the hair?
Zombie - I know - we talked about this yesterday at your house. Youre absolutely right about acting nonjudgemental - if you can find that training at your mums place, id be glad to take a look. Im still going to talk to someone about it, but I loved your idea of journaling about it. And its not even been a week surrounding me finding out, so going back and writing down everything would be easy. Plus a good thing to take to the counsellor I suppose. It would do half of their job for them. LOL
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