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You ever notice that someone's missing?

People come and go from our lives all the time....but do you ever notice, when one of those people, that special amazing one, isnt there anymore?

I had someone in my life, for a long time. We havent spoken in a bit, but I always knew where I could reach him.

Today, while watching Fight Club, I felt an unbelievable urge to call him....its been a while. But I called...and his number was disconnected...so I was going to leave a message on his pager, but that was disconnected too.

It was an overwhelming sense of sadness....Ive noticed his absense lately, and i missed him today terribly. I just wanna know what he's been up to...and that he's okay.

**UPDATE: I happened to find myself on messenger tonight, and a mutual friend of ours signed in, someone who I also havent spoken to in a while *coincidence??*....anyway, he messages me, and asks how im doing blah blah blah....

I have to ask....hows guy 1 doing...i havent been able to stop thinking about him for weeks...

guy 2 says hes okay....

I ask if guy 1's grandmother is still alive...guy 2 says "i dont think so..." (this explains why the number was disconnected...and confirms my worst assumption. After i found out his number was disconnected, it was the first thought that crossed my mind: The overwhelming sense of sadness I felt earlier)

Guy 1 is now living in a hotel somewhere with some friend of his, and is struggling. This breaks my heart, and I get very sad and teary. I went from wondering how he was doing, to wishing that I never asked...i was better not knowing

Guy 2 promises that if he sees Guy 1, that he will tell him that I want to talk to him, and that I miss him....guy 1 is so stubborn...im not holding my breath. But i'm hoping for a miracle.

Maybe my new years resolution should be to care less about everyone.

This isn't Christmas Weather!!!

As if going to Clevland a month ago wasnt enough...the itch of wanting to be somewhere else has set in once again, and this time is taking me back to Windsor/Detroit/Chicago.

As many of you know, I recently moved out of Windsor, back to the Kitters, to go to school...again.

But since I am exceedingly popular...and not at all modest...i'm headed back for 5 glorious days to do some serious visiting/drinking.

(Please dont confuse what i'm implying...Windsor is not glorious, by any means. But my break itself will be.)

Since I only work on the weekends, this turns out to be perfect timing, as I am completely finished school. I came out of the semester with 4 A's and one A-. (the minus sign makes me cringe...i was SO close to 4.0)...I deserve a much needed vacation. And since I have 5 days to do absolutely nothing, I might as well do absolutely nothing in another city with people I havent seen in months.

I've only breifly been to Chicago, so I havent had a chance to do much there...if anyone has any suggestions...i'll be more than happy to hear them.
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I'm kind of freaked out by the weather we're having....in October, there was that huge blizzard here 2 months before it usually starts snowing.

I said that maybe the environment is getting better...Now? Ya. Not so much. I dont know about you guys...but I require snow in the Winter.

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city...

I love big cities.

Love them.

I love the business, and the chaos. That nearly everything is open 24 hours. The people constantly wandering....there's always something going on, and things to do. The city makes me happy. Extrodinarily happy.

I espeically love Toronto. Its the closest big city to home.

I went to see Wicked last night, which I must say, is fantasitc. Its the story of the witches in the Wizard of Oz, and explains why they become good and evil, how the wicked witch turns green, how the tin man becomes the tin man etcetera etcetera....it is also a book.

Ya ya, I was exicted for the performance...but when I go to Toronto for the day, I am usually more excited about the little things that happen...the little things that remind me how much I love the city.

Like, yesterday, I went for a quick dinner with Jennifer, we sat and talked about how organizations like MADD and Children's Aid Society are in a lot of trouble for using donations for personal things like SUV's and vacations. MADD raised 12 million dollars in one year, and 19 cents from every dollar went to the charity. The rest went to paying for extravagencies....There is a shit load of controversy surrounding both organizations right now. MADD Says they have nothing to hide. If that is true, why are chapters of MADD closing?

After dinner, I met up with my friend who I was going to see Wicked with. She had not eaten, so we were cutting through a popular building on younge street, and who should walk by? This guy. He looks very old in person.

The lights in the city are amazing, and very colorful....it was a gorgeous night out last night, so walking everywhere was perfect.

However, the highlight of the evening came just as we made it to the doors of the theater. My very old friend Brad, and his fiance K, happened to be walking by at the exact moment that we stopped to get our tickets out for the show. I was so happy to see him, as it has been a very long LOOOONG time since we have had a chance to hang out. We're adults now...it sucks. Everyone's busy. Wicked was great...but seeing Brad was the best part of the night. I really missed that guy.

My farvorite thing about the city?? The way the steam coms up from the subway, and swirls across the streets at night.

The random moments of the city are what keep bringing me back....

Blogger Beta = The New form of Socialism??

I hate blogger beta. It wont let me into it's elitist club you know.

I tried to sign up. It rejected me...and my blog.

I try leaving comments on posts...but it wont even let me sign in. It remembers me from before I think.

For all of you, who've gained acceptance into this elite blogging community, i'll let you know, that I have been reading....but I cant sign in to leave comments....I'm stuck on the outside, with my face pressed to the glass...watching all the fun...

I want in...I want to be an elitist....

Someone put in a good word for me. :)

Blogger Confessional© Just because

It has been SO long since I have done one of these, I thought that i'd get one in just for good measure. Ive been so busy with school, that I havent had time to breathe, nevermind write utterly fascinating posts, but now that things have settled, its all good.

If you are new to Blogger Confessional©, please go back to the first one. All copywrite information is posted. LOL!

This week I:

- finished first semester....OH MY GOD...im done first semester of my Masters, and let me tell you, I talked to my professors TWICE about dropping out. It was more work then I have ever experienced. I have 2 undergraduate degrees, and one semester of my Masters was more work than both of them put together. But its done....

- found out that I made the Dean's List. I stayed up late, worked my ass off, almost dropped out two times...and it was all worth it. I got stragit A's this semester.

- Came to the conclusion that Ive got a substance abuse problem. Admitting it is the first step you know. Im addicted to h'orderves. Its sad, but true. I'd rather eat them, than anything else in the day. Walking by, without buying them is so hard when im grocery shopping. It takes all my will power. The word Moderation doesnt exist for me here. They're just so cute...all little, and yummy. I'd rather eat like 20 of them, and skip dinner all together.

- Have been playing Wii ALL week!!! Its getting ridiculous. Thank god all my homework is done, and the semester is finished because if I had played while I was still in semester work mode, I would have failed for sure. For those of you who are curious, Zelda, is Ridiculously hard. (And NO, im not one of those gamer nerds, video games are fun....those I can play in moderation. **Mike if you're reading, its hooked to the tv in the fam. If you want to get it, thats cool, but you have to grab a game for it at BB. Be cautious of the garage door. LOL

- went to a job fair for when im done my degree. There were a couple of international booths set up, and I talked to 2 ladies who hire for Dubai and England. They said they were looking to improve international work relations, and because I want to work with conduct kids, in correctional facilities, both said they can 95-100% guarantee me any job I want. Both asked for my resume. I didnt have them to give, but I think that they're worried I might change my mind. I wont. And I assured them that when I am done school, I am only looking to teach overseas. I emailed them both already....they have emailed back and said its almost 100% i'll have any job I want in either country for September. Now...All i need to do is research. Who's got information about London, and Dubai....im looking for personal experience, cost of living, everything. My email address is linked on the side bar.

AND because its christmas, I'm here to offer a little sacrilicious fun, yet again. I've got a one way ticket to hell. No return...No regrets. Phil's my moving buddy. Just click and drag:
The fast track to hell

Tuning in Tokyo.

I wanted to call my friend in Japan today.

I got his number out...

I have no idea how to call international phone numbers.

I was talking to Pete on MSN. Together, we were no better off....he didnt know either.

I dont know the order of how all those numbers are supposed to go.

I tried looking it up online. There were 2 suggestions. I tried one. It was an english answering service, that was telling me to delete one of the 0's that I was dialing.

I tried again. I got a girl's answering machine. It was definitely not english.

I called Miss Ash. Sleeping. I called Jenni....She's sleeping too.

I talked to Pete about how I called an Asian country, but I didnt know which one.

I tried again, deleting a different "0" the second time around.

Its late on the other side of the world. 9am here, 11pm there.

The second time, I got someone...they spoke very broken english. I asked what country I called....He didnt understand. I asked again, but slower. He said something...I think it was Turkey....But I guess i'll see when the phone bill comes in.

I gave up.

**UPDATE: I had to call Mexico last night. My parents are there, and I needed to photocopy my newest degree for my portfolio presentation today, and I dont know where my degree is. Anyway, I struggled with calling internationally again, and it took me about 10 minutes, but I finally got through.....