Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Story of Alex

We met when I was 19 (Summer, 1997). He, a radio DJ in Windsor, living in Detroit. Me, a summer student at university after being kicked out for not going to class.

We met, we clicked long story short - we dated until November 20 1998. We didnt see one another very often. I was young and didnt care. He lived in Detroit, and only made it to Windsor for his radio show, and other performances (singer of a band). We saw one another, mmmm....maybe 3 days a week. He talks about music, bands, porn, travelling, and has this obsession with pausing songs and sipping coffee VERY loudly on the air, and has an even more absurd obsession with talking about heroin.

He introduced me to the Psychadelic Furs and I LOVED them. I would lay in bed with "The Ghost in You" on repeat until I fell asleep, and would wake up to it even still. It was perfect - there wasnt anything I didnt like about that song, and for a long time, it was my favorite.

October 1998 - Enter Geoff, friend of Alex's, who also had a radio show. Geoff and myself establish a tight fast friendship, and he lives close, I see him more than 3 days a week. Geoff likes to talk about alcohol, Pink Floyd, concerts, and Channel 99 (White noise) on his tv.

One night, me and Geoff are talking, and he says something about Alex, and heroin - but certainly implies that he is addicted to this drug, and not just a fan of talking about it. I inquire further to find out that its true - Alex has a "recreational" heroin habit.

November 20, 1998. I confront Alex - who admits his favorite past time, and informs me that he injects inbetween his toes, being careful to hide it from the world, never used more than 2 or 3 days a week, and never used on days he was seeing me. This is too much - I dont want to date a drug addict. We break up.

Skip to November 20, 1999. I get a phone call in the middle of the night that says that Alex has passed away of a heroin overdose - a year to the day of the end of our relationship.

I stop listening to the Psychadelic Furs for 10 years.

Im heartbroken, there is no closure and I immediately want to apologize for not being more supportive, or a better person - and forget all of my opinions about sleeping with an IV drug user.

10 years go by, and I rekindle my romance with the Psychadelic Furs and I have forgotten how much i love their music - But I cannot bring myself to listen to "The Ghost in You" for obvious reasons.

I find out in April that the PF's are coming to town. Me and LD decide to go. June 8, 2010 - we're at the concert, and I say "I hope they play the ghost in you"....even though, I sort of wish that they dont. I havent heard it since 1998.

But they do - And hearing that song live, was one of the most touching, and amazing moments of my life. And I immediately felt at peace with myself, and the part of me, that still felt unresolved in regards to Alex, was healed that night.

One of the most amazing concerts...Ever.

No one bothered me at the concert, no one annoyed me - although there was this HORRIDLY drunk man, who was approximately 70, and he kept wobbling into other people, and i swear the guys beside us were going to punch him out. OH and of course, the crazy girl at the end of the night, who stomped on my foot, threw herself at me, apologizing, put her hands on both of my biceps, leaned in and said IM SO SORRY!!! To which I replied - yea, you stomped on my foot, and dont touch me, its hot in here.

She jumped to the side, grabbed some random stranger, switched spots with him, and dramatically pointed at me with both fingers and said "YOURE FUCKING CRAZY!!!".....After the concert ended, me and LD were discussing this - and I said "You know...she was wearing velvet. And IM the crazy one".


wigsf said...

I've got a cousin who spent a lot of time trying to get me to listen to The Psychadelic Furs. It didn't take.

berly02 said...

Well, velvet wearing is crazy no matter what the season. Unless it is Halloween.

I feel I should say congrats on your peace. And your healing. *hugs*

rawbean said...

Thanks for sharing this story - I'm sorry that you had to lose someone you cared about like that.

Isn't it crazy how much music can influence our lives?

Hilarious comment about the velvet lady. There are always crazy people at shows.

Christielli said...

I love the way that you wrote this post: very clear and descriptive, it flows very well, and most importantly it's very heartfelt.

I'm sorry that you lost your ex, but I think in the end you could have never helped him and it's better that you did what's right for you.

I'm glad that you found a place where you can listen to that song again.

Oh, and don't get me going about annoying ppl at shows!

Miss Ash said...

Oh god I can totally hear you saying "dont touch me, it's hot in here" and glaring at her LOL!!!! Nice!