Saturday, January 08, 2011

The 10 Evil Commandments

So i bought this book - a hilarious daily diary type account of satan's rise to the head of the underworld....(super cheap table sale incase you were wondering)....these are the kinds of things i find funny.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods but me
Mister high and mighty's getting too damned righteous. Thou shalt prefer the devil to him.

2.Though shalt not make to thyself any graven imagines
Thou shalt feel free to portray me in all my glory (especially if thou captureth my rugged good looks)

3. Though shalt not take the lord's name in vain
Thou shouldst blashpheme, cuss, and use utter profanities whenever things dont go thy way

4. Remember the sabbath day and make it holy
Thou shall use the weekends profitably to catch up with all the sins thou hast missed out on during the week

5. Honor thy father and mother
Ensure the life insurance and wills are up to date

6. Thou shalt not kill
Thou shalt not let any slight go unavenged

7. Thou shalt not commit adultry
Thou shall not get found out

8. Thou shalt not steal
Thou shall consider it an "indefinite loan"

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shall be economical with the truth

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, fields, man servants, etc...
Oh come on! Thou shall desire and covet to thy heart's content, especially if its a nice ass.

11 comments:

wigsf3 said...

Coveting somebody's wife are you?

Christielli said...

Ha, ha. I like #4.

Princess Pessimism said...

wigsf - Manservants can have nice asses too you know....

Christi - I like that one, and the one about it being an "indefinite loan" instead of stealing. LOL

rawbean said...

You know those books are on sale for a reason right?

Miss Ash said...

LOL @ Rawbean!!!

I like #8!

Princess Pessimism said...

LOL @ Rawbean!!! Totally - but thats what makes them so worth it. I bough this harry potter documentary book a while ago, by the lady who runs one of the most successful harry potter sites. It was a dollar but it was SO good. Soemtimes those books are really good.

Ash - mhmm me too

berly02 said...

#5 cracks me up the most!

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