2010 took a lot of people from me that i did not want to go....and brought me back a lot of people that I never wanted again.
I really started to rationalize, and review my life (as everyone does this time of year) and realized that I needed sort of a summary of my Resolutions.
I resolve to take life less seriously, and spoil myself to something once a month. Be it an expensive purse, long weekend road trip, day at the spa...etc. I think that this is a good way of having more time for myself, and dedicating more time to the pursuit of "all things PP". I need to refamiliarize myself with things that I like, and find out what I dont like anymore - see how my tastes have changed.
And...if anything - this year in men has taught me that my tastes have definitely changed - for the better I think. I was wrong about this past week at work being bliss. My ex came into town, and I could not believe how negatively it affected my sleep, my functionability, my daily stress levels - of course, getting 39 text messages in one night asking me to go fetch him to hook up in my car didnt help. He said that if I couldnt have a mature meeting and a night of casual sex, than something was wrong with me, and to go fuck myself.
We havent seen each other in 2 years. I have indeed blogged about this man (and I use that term loosely) before. He is under a VERY misguided impression of what happened 2 years ago when we split...and thinks that we could actually have something casual - when in reality...one text message saying he was in the city, took every step that id made from him in 2 years, and affected me so negatively...
So this week, I drank...a lot. And after days of avoiding my house, phone and cell phone - out of sheer dread - i decided that it was time to make a change.
My friends (toronto, and niagara) came through in true fashion - were there to support me, and kept me VERY busy at night time so that I wouldnt be tempted to see him. I do love the drama - but I think this year, may be dedicated to living drama free - because everyone said "I know youre going to see him, but just be careful - you know how this is going to end" and to everyone's surprise, I avoided him like the plague.
My cousin's status on Facebook was to: remember that how you spend your New Years is how your next year will be....Which made me miserable - because I was planning on being by myself after work with a pizza, being miserable - but instead, I made some very fast plans, and went to a Wii pizza party at my sisters, hung out with my neices, and then out with great friends at night; followed up with great friends, poutine and pancakes today. Lots of laughter ( a few tears), and over all, a decent night.
If what my cousin wrote is true - then my next year shall be filled with amazing friends, family, good times, laughter, good food, and taking control of my emotions instead of letting them control me.
NOW - ive got 12 months of spoiling ahead of me....Whats for January....Bring on the Year of PP. :)