PP has it out with Revenue Canada

We unified our taxes here in the good old province of Ontario (and maybe nationally..i have no idea, i dont really keep up with the other provinces or territories). We used to pay 2 taxes, but now we have the HST (harmonized sales tax) which is a whopping 13%.

The government issued HST transition credits to people living here who made under 80K/year, which is me. Its $100 3 times. I know it isnt much, but it pays for my plane ticket to Florida in November.

Anyway - I didnt get it. So my accountant encourages me to call and find out why. The following is an abridged, but 100% accurate conversation of the conversation I have with Revenue Canada.

RC: How can i help you?
PP: I didnt get the transionary credit - can you tell me why?
RC: You are not a resident of Canada
PP: ....Pardon?
RC: You are considered an immigrant to this country by RevCan.
PP:...Pardon?
RC: Going back to 2004, you left the country for an extended period of time, and never notified us that you were back
PP: But - I split taxes for both countries in the year that I was gone, and have paid taxes every year in this country since I came back. And checked "Ontario" on the page where it asks you to state what province you live in - AND have received all tax credits over the past 6 years. What does my address say sir?
RC: Mam - if you dont stop screaming at me - I will end this call

*at this point, it is valid to say that I was not screaming, and did not have attitude - my mom can verify this - this guy was just a total douche*

PP: im actually not screaming - what does my mailing address say sir? Where does it say that I live?
RC: doesnt matter - you could live out of the country and be using a mailing address for Canada
PP: Are you accusing me of committing Fraud?
RC: Stop screaming at me (Again, not screaming)
PP: can you please start recording the conversation, to prove that I am not screaming?
RC: No, I cannot do that - It is illegal to record calls at Revenue Canada
PP: but i'm asking you to
RC: it is illegal
PP: A friend of mine is a lawyer there - i'll be sure to follow up on that

PP: So - im an immigrant to Canada - How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to tell you that I was living in canada - isnt my tax return enough? I go shopping every month in the states, does that mean that I have to notify RC of my return to the country everytime I go shopping and come back. Like, how was I supposed to know to call you guys, especially since i've been submitting tax returns yearly - and all of my employers are in Ontario, and my return SAYS that I live in Ontario
RC: Mam - stop screaming at me - you are not considered a resident of the country.
PP: Im not screaming - im asking. If you want me to scream, I will. But I digress - is this accurate, am I an immigrant to Canada everytime I go shopping in the states?
RC: This is the last time im telling you to stop screaming at me - or I will end this call

PP: Do you have a name, and employee number?
RC: Yes I do
PP: Can I have it?
RC: gives me his name and employee number - Why do you want those things?
PP: To file an official complaint against you of course
RC: *his voice gets frantic at this point* - Why would you do that? Why would you file a complaint against me? Because im telling you the truth
PP: No - because I asked questions, you didnt answer them, or tell me how to fix this, all you did was accuse me of Fraud and screaming. Is your uspervisor there?
RC: we dont have supervisors
PP: you dont have a boss? Who do you answer to in the day?
RC: I dont know - Why are you going to file a complaint against me
PP: Because quite frankly, you're an asshole.

Thats when i slammed the phone down...although, i probably wont file one.