Saturday, September 16, 2006

At least we're not Ugly Mother fuckers......

I dont even know where to start this post to be perectly honest...but I guess we'll start at the beginning

Me and LD decide to hit up the Honest Lawyer for a couple of drinks last night

We stand at the bar for about a couple of miutes, no one serves us...so we decide to go outside and get a table and let a waitress get our drinks. We sit out there for about 10 minutes...the waitress walks by but doesnt ask us if we want anything....THIS should have been our second sign to leave, after not being served inside.

But we stay, and within 2 minutes, a guy who LD has dubbed "The Neon Rider" comes over to our table and says "can i sit here?" and proceeds to sit down, without either one of us saying yes. He is obviously drunk, is wearing a neon orange shirt (which I point out, and say that I havent seen anyone wearing neon since the late 80's), and LD gets up and goes inside to get our drinks, because still no one has come along. I still hate her for this.

I am glaring at the bouncer for help, and he sees me, but just laughs and shakes his head. As does everyone else who walks by and looks at our table. Me and LD are looking at eachother, biting the insides of our cheeks trying not to laugh. I can always be ruder, but I was pretty rude to this guy, especially when he asked us if we were nymphomaniacs, out looking for a good time Tonight was the first night where I actually felt obligated to give a fake name. After about 40 long minutes of us not being able to say "go away", he did just that. And we didnt see him again.

HOWEVER, not even 5 minutes later, 2 other guys ask if they can join us, and immediately engage us in conversation. Both had their Phd's in Chemistry, which is quite amazing. (One makes morphine for a living, the other makes the antidote for the bird flu)

Mr. Morphine dominates the conversation, and Bird Flu Antidote goes back inside. Mr. Norphine teaches us about cranberry juice, dalmations, and volcanos (dont ask)...Oh, and doing card tricks without the cards (although I was mildly impressed with that). I ask if he feels that he has been dominating the conversation, and he says that when he sits down with 2 attractive girls, that he can either talk, or not talk...which is true, but he was really honestly giving us a chemistry test. And when we didnt know the answers, he was more than disappointed.

Bird Flu Antidote comes back out, and Mr. Morphine goes in. B.F.A. might have been the most dramatic person, and said that his girfriend is going to hate him for talking to us, even though he only talked about chemistry, and his girlfriend. He threw his head into his hands about a dozen times, and was groaning about how his g/f was going to be pissed. Apparently, if we werent so attractive, and were ugly mother fuckers, she wouldnt be....

Mr. Morphine comes back out, says in a really rude way "can I talk to you for a second"....they leave, someone asks if we are using the chairs, LD and I, at the same time say "NO!! PLEASE take them...take them both!!!"

We were at the bar for 2 and a half hours maybe...and by ourselves for about 15 mintues of that...so much for having a quiet evening to talk, and relax.

20 comments:

Lindsey said...

LOLOLOL Girls...you just can't help it that you are incredibly hot. Come on!

Princess Pessimism said...

Linny - The second two started out quasi-normal, but they only talked about chemistry...Mr. Morphine SERIOUSLY sits down, and says "so, what do you guys do" and then that was the only thing that he asked about us. Everything else, for the entire hour and however long, was about chemistry....it was horrible.

Lindsey said...

One of the guys I met was a mechanic. I had to hear about how he's really bummed because he had decided to trade in his pick-up truck for something more fuel efficient and now he's realized that he can't do half of the things he could w/ the truck.

Natalia said...

Dude...the names alone have me rolling :) It would be so awesome to go out wih you guys. Funny stuff just seems to happen to y'all.

-N

yrautca said...

Yes, I would never bore pretty girls with chemistry stuff or pick up trucks.

I will, however, talk about the stock market, mortality tables, and inverted yield curves.

I wonder why I am single.

Big Ben said...

Mr. Morphine sounds fun. I wonder if I happened by your table if I would be Mr. Big?

Princess Pessimism said...

Linny - What would make a guy think that you were actually interested in hearing about that???

Natalia - Everyone gets a nickname...thats how we remember them.

Yrautca - I dont even know what an inverted yeild curve is...and I think that if anyone tried tot alk to me about it, my eyes would glaze over....

Ben - Nope....by size alone, you'd be "The Gigantor"...but personality might make you something else....

rawbean said...

Is it just me, or did a post get deleted off both yours and Miss Ash's blog.

If not, I better not have dreamt it.

Princess Pessimism said...

Rawbean - ...dunno what you're talking about...

rawbean said...

Yea right funeral girl

Princess Pessimism said...

Rawbean - Okay then... :)

Sexy Suburbanite said...

I really have to wonder why BFA is so afraid of his girlfriend. I'm not sure that girl exists.

So, how is the bird flu antidote coming along? We might actually need that.

Princess Pessimism said...

Sexy - He says that his job is thankless, and that he hates it because although they have an antidote, they ship it overseas and never hear of any feedback, or thanks. He was pretty bitter about it.

Jennifer said...

Didn't you ladies get a date out of this one?? I'm sure neon man would have obliged. You should have told him to ask Dawn out.....

Miss Ash said...

That Jennifer comment was really me. She was logged into her computer, but you all knew that it wasn't her, she's not that funny !!!

Trib said...

Actually the first warning sign was when it was called the Honest Lawyer. Trouble...

Princess Pessimism said...

Jennifer - Such a WITTY and Funny comment you've left on my blog!!

Ash - I asked LD if it counted as a date, but The Neon Rider was infact, Married, and ridiculously drunk. I wouldnt have ever dated him, and neither would have LD.

Trib - LOL!!! i actually like that bar. Its pretty good, nice patio.

Hernesto G said...

hey, that is awesome... a bunch of Ph.Ds. walking around clubs and bars quizing girls scientific facts, LOVE IT!!!

So, were either one of you ready to put out? and if you had to, with which guy?

Dawn said...

It was definately an interesting evening. The Neon Rider was classic and the chemist were informative I guess. But at least we know that we're not ugly, that's a good thing I guess.

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto - Put out?? GOD NO.

Dawn - LOL!!! You're right. thats important...at least someone thinks we're hot...