At least we're not Ugly Mother fuckers......

I dont even know where to start this post to be perectly honest...but I guess we'll start at the beginning

Me and LD decide to hit up the Honest Lawyer for a couple of drinks last night

We stand at the bar for about a couple of miutes, no one serves us...so we decide to go outside and get a table and let a waitress get our drinks. We sit out there for about 10 minutes...the waitress walks by but doesnt ask us if we want anything....THIS should have been our second sign to leave, after not being served inside.

But we stay, and within 2 minutes, a guy who LD has dubbed "The Neon Rider" comes over to our table and says "can i sit here?" and proceeds to sit down, without either one of us saying yes. He is obviously drunk, is wearing a neon orange shirt (which I point out, and say that I havent seen anyone wearing neon since the late 80's), and LD gets up and goes inside to get our drinks, because still no one has come along. I still hate her for this.

I am glaring at the bouncer for help, and he sees me, but just laughs and shakes his head. As does everyone else who walks by and looks at our table. Me and LD are looking at eachother, biting the insides of our cheeks trying not to laugh. I can always be ruder, but I was pretty rude to this guy, especially when he asked us if we were nymphomaniacs, out looking for a good time Tonight was the first night where I actually felt obligated to give a fake name. After about 40 long minutes of us not being able to say "go away", he did just that. And we didnt see him again.

HOWEVER, not even 5 minutes later, 2 other guys ask if they can join us, and immediately engage us in conversation. Both had their Phd's in Chemistry, which is quite amazing. (One makes morphine for a living, the other makes the antidote for the bird flu)

Mr. Morphine dominates the conversation, and Bird Flu Antidote goes back inside. Mr. Norphine teaches us about cranberry juice, dalmations, and volcanos (dont ask)...Oh, and doing card tricks without the cards (although I was mildly impressed with that). I ask if he feels that he has been dominating the conversation, and he says that when he sits down with 2 attractive girls, that he can either talk, or not talk...which is true, but he was really honestly giving us a chemistry test. And when we didnt know the answers, he was more than disappointed.

Bird Flu Antidote comes back out, and Mr. Morphine goes in. B.F.A. might have been the most dramatic person, and said that his girfriend is going to hate him for talking to us, even though he only talked about chemistry, and his girlfriend. He threw his head into his hands about a dozen times, and was groaning about how his g/f was going to be pissed. Apparently, if we werent so attractive, and were ugly mother fuckers, she wouldnt be....

Mr. Morphine comes back out, says in a really rude way "can I talk to you for a second"....they leave, someone asks if we are using the chairs, LD and I, at the same time say "NO!! PLEASE take them...take them both!!!"

We were at the bar for 2 and a half hours maybe...and by ourselves for about 15 mintues of that...so much for having a quiet evening to talk, and relax.