Tuesday, February 28, 2006

90's Rewind (Literally)

So I got a VCR. I decided that since I have class on Tuesdays until 10pm, I dont want to miss the Amazing Race *as it's the only reality show that I watch religiously*, So I am stealing the VCR from my grandparents, whove had a VCR for the past 4 years, and have used it one time.

I'm bringing all my favorite VHS movies back to Windsor with me, and i'm going through all my old tapes to see if I can find one that I can tape the amazing race every week.

I put a tape in the vcr, and I push play. Its a bunch of music videos from about 16 years ago....Nirvana, Metallica, Blind Melon....those sorts of bands. I fast foward *that sounds so wierd to say now that DVDs have chapters*, It's Unsolved Mysteries. Surprise surprise, I used to love that show....I remember it being on, and it was the one hour of the week that I Was unreachable. I didnt want to talk to anyone on the phone, and if someone was there watching it with me, there was absolutely no talking. And I used to watch it with all the lights off, so the ghosty ones and the Aliens ones were extra creepy.

And as i'm sitting on the floor, watching unsolved mysteries, the tape goes fuzzy, and comes back onto the screen with a new show....a show that I forgot existed....a show I also used to watch religiously.....a show that I loved.

The New Kids On The Block Cartoon.

I completely forgot that this show even existed....and as I sat on the floor, watching the animated version of NKOTB, I burst into a fit of giggles, becuase I CANT believe how bad this show is....in 1990, I was 13 years old, and looking back, I realize that I liked what other 13 year olds liked, but oh god...what a loser I was. I used to get up every saturday morning, with my bowl of Count Chocula, and not only watch every episode of this cartoon, but I taped them as well....

And then as I was watching this, I was reminded of that old Wrestling cartoon....Does anyone remember that? The WWF cartoon (when it was WWF)? I used to like that cartoon too.

I know that I have already blogged about Uber old cartoons, but they're so much fun to remember....Willow the Wisp...Barba Pappa....Dr. Snuggles....I wish they would release those on DVD.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Ebay Insanity.

I have never bought anything off ebay, but a friend of mine called me up and asked me if I would look something up (some movie) to see if it was listed for sale.

As i'm looking up this thing, I come to find that everything else that is listed is way more interesting.

This is what I found on sale for ebay, that was worth sharing. All descriptions are copied right from Ebay...and unaltered.

This is a hard tanned buffalo scrotums. The scrotums is from winter bulls, so it has alot hair. The sack is 4 1/2 inches long and is a 12 1/2 inches in circumference. The sack has a inche long hole, but the hair covers it up. It is a very good conversation piece.

Here we have 10 coyote baculum. The dicks run 2 1/2 inches to 3 1/8 inches long. They are clean disinfected. They make good ear rings, and great novelty gifts.


A pair of pheasant legs with nice spurs and claws

I found this crazy Dorito in a bag of Doritos on 02/20/2006. It was in a 13 oz. bag of cool ranch doritos that expires april 4 2006.. It's really thick. It looks like a chicken nugget. It's CRAZY, you gotta see it. Look at the pic. It's also really hard (glob of dorito?) I don't think you can eat it. I'll bet it will last forever and it has dorito seasoning all over it. If anything it's worth $3.49 cause thats what this bag cost. Maybe you can call doritos and tell them you found this thing in the bag and you want a new bag. Maybe carve it into the virgin mary and double your money.

It's True...bread shaped like a buttcrack. I just couldn't eat it and couldn't throw it away either. I hope it goes to a good home where someone will have a good laugh or smile just as I did when I opened the bread bag. My husband thinks it looks more like PacMan, all in the eye of the beholder.

All of these Items had bids on them, and the only thing i'm left wondering is...Who actually wants these things?

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A blog about Whatever

Sorry i've been neglecting my blog...I had midterms, a nervous breakdown, and had to pack to come home...And now that i'm home, very busy....places to go, people to see. You know how it goes.

But now that i'm here, and have been talking to my friends about getting together, it seems that a few of them are busy with a lot of funeral things. One friend has a funeral today, and another on the weekend.....another friend just went through the loss of her aunt, and her friends relative. I dont know what it is about this week, but there's a lot of talk of death.

I'm not so much afraid to die, i just am a little anxious about how it's going to happen. That's the thing that usually gets to me the most......I WANT it to happen while i'm sleeping, that way, I'll never know that it did. And I definitely dont want to burn to death, or be buried alive, or crash in an airplane *unless i'm completely unconscious, and again, have no clue that it's happening.*.

Thats the thing about me, I dont like pain, I dont like anything that has to do with pain, and I dont like being in pain.....so the less pain in my life, the better.

Which brings me to another point. If you could make your tombstone right now, what would it say? This is something i've put a minimal amount of thought into, but I always wanted it to be something witty. You know, that's how that Ripley's Believe It or Not guy got his start. He used to work at cemetaries, and started seeing funny headstones, and he travelled the country so he took pictures of them...and thats how he got his start....true story.

I wonder what sort of man Robert Ripley was.....a relentless pursuit of travelling the world to find oddities and things. I dont know if any of you have ever been to the museum, but you can spend an entire day in there reading about the things that he found.....Now that he's passed away just about 60 years ago, I wonder who maintains his legacy.....but I digress.

Tombstones. Yes that's where we were....i dont know what mines going to say, but it will definitely be something about how I intend on coming back to haunt people....

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Blogger Confessional©....Part Deux

It hasnt been a very eventful week, however I managed to do enough to come up with a list long enough to even surprise me.....

This Week I...

- Drew a lovely landscape picture on a desk at the library instead of studying. Then I went back a few days later, some kind soul wrote "Awesome Picture" beside my drawing...i'm Critically Acclaimed!

- Got into an argument with a friend of mine becuase some random guy found her on Yahoo messneger. She had no clue who he was, and when I was printing something out, he kept messaging her, like really dirty sexual things....but she was enjoying the conversation. *Go figure*, So I go to say "Hang on" to him, she FREAKS out, tells me not to touch her fucking computer, and slaps my hands away from the kyboard. I know that I have told this story to a couple of people, and it isnt as detailed..but that's the jist of it.

- Played Detective for a friend of mine whos trying to find the lost love of his life. He has one link to her, and when he called this link to find out where this girl was, she told him that they were friends anymore, and to fuck off. So he asked me to call *cause we somehow reverted back to grade 7* ...but I did. And I said that I was a friend of this girls from back home, does she know where to find her. She said she had no phone number, but an address, which she happily gave to me. I wasnt sure if I should give it to this guy, becuase i dont know if it's borderline stalking. So i've still got it *and it turns out she lives about one block from him*.....but he hasnt called me since then, and I havent called him either. Is it creepy if I give him the address??? I think so. What do you think?

- Made plans to marry Slopmaster, in Vegas...this May.

- Was stalked at the library by someone who liked me last semester. He text messaged me, saying he saw me walk into the library, but by the time he packed up all his shit to sit with me, He didnt see where I went. Then he sent me 10 text messages while he searched the library for me...*all messages sounded like "I'm on the second floor west now"..."third floor east", "Are you in the basement???" I never replied to one message. I snuck out of the library and went home instead. He creeps me out.

- Set my oven on fire...again.

- Confirmed my new degree...although I have to pay the grad fees. But I fought it as hard as I could.

- Met someone who said that homosexuality was wrong, becuase she is very religious So when I saw her smoking in the corner of the garage at my friends place, hiding it from her husband after assuring him that she doesnt smoke anymore, and trying to seduce my friends brother...NOT to mention that she was was playing football with her kids, touching the skin of a dead pig, which is an abomination in the eyes of the lord according to the Old part of the bible....I pointed out that for someone who's so religious, she's very ignorant to the rules of her religion. And I told her that i'd meet her in Hell...with all of my gay friends. She went home about 5 minutes after that.

- Continued to hate the person that I wrote about in my last confessional. ALTHOUGH, this week, I hate him that much more, as he makes my skin crawl, and makes me want to drill screws into my hand, becuase the thought of that is more plesant than this person.

- Hung out with a bunch of Italians, and made fun of the way mangia cakes* try to pronounce Italian words, until we cried....And it all Started with "Torino"...LOL!

*If you do NOT know what a mangia cake is....Chances are...you are one. LOL

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Pick Up Artist

....I was convinced this story was "blog worthy"....it was something I never thought to mention...but here it is. In honor of valentintes day. *even though it's late*...

Most of you read the post I wrote some time ago, where I said that the best pick up line I ever herad was from a guy named Ritchie, at a MMA tournament in Montreal, when he said "Hey...Wanna Go Halves on a baby?"

However, I shared, last night, the story of a time someone was hitting on me. A few years back, living in Windsor *for the first time*, I was at a bar called "Howl at the Moon". One of the greatest clubs in the city...which is now called "the Beach", but it's still just as fun. I am with a bunch of people, guys and girls....Janury 2000.

While we're all dancing away, me and my friend JR decide to hit the bar and refresh our drinks. A group of guys is standing against the bar, and one of these guys takes it upon himself to use his worst pick up line on me. Which is a bold move, considering that I was with a guy right beside him....and JR's hot, and muscular, and intimidating...but this guy didnt care.

He leans over and says "Ohhh...dont I know you?" I barely glance at this guy and say "Nope". He says "ohh...come on girl...I think I know you from somewhere." To which I actually look him in the face and say "Oh, No...I doubt it"....

His friends are all paying attention, and cheering him on. JR is also paying attention, but not laughing because this guy's a complete moron....although, JR knows me well, and can imagine that i'm trying to think of something witty to say to him.

Again, this stranger leans in and says "Oh baby...i know I know you from somewhere? You know where I think that is?" And before he can say "my dreams" or something else to that stupid effect, I turn to him completely, sigh audibly and say with a totally straight face "Yes...you do know me. I'm the receptionist at the STD test center."

His jaw hits the floor, his friends die laughing, I grab my drink off the bar, and JR grabs my other hand and leads me off to the dance floor.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

BOOO University.

Due to what the registrar's is calling an "oversight", what has happened is that I was one credit away from a different degree than the one I got a few years back. How this all happened was funny in a "ha ha" sort of way, but is now becoming funny in a "i want to rip their hair out" sort of way.

I noticed that my major average had not been calculated through out my entire university career, and when I brought it to the attention of the department, and the academic council, they came to teh realization that I was one credit away from a different degree completely.

The one credit that I was short, was a 4th year course, but after I freaked out, *politely freaked out* I booked an appointment with the department head, and after 2 hours of her sort of scratching her head, and repeatedly saying "I've never seen anything like this before", we came to realize that the one fourth year credit that I was short, I had taken already, years before. But when I took it, it was a 3rd year course. So...becuase I have the credit, it transfers to the one 4th year credit that I was short. *its stupid I know, they change the calendar yearly, and they reuse course numbers....but Whatever. I have the credit, and therefore, got my new degree approved.*

So, God forbid you have 2 degrees in similar fields from the same university, they are making me return my original degree, to get the new one. That's no problem. I dont mind...As this is what I sort of came back for. However, NOW because they're issuing me a new degree, there are stipulations. They want me to pay graduation fees again, and wait until June to get my new degree.

Correct me if i'm wrong here, but I already graduated, and got a degree. They're taking that one back, and replacing it with the new one. Where in that, does it say, "You're graduating again, and getting a new degree. Pay up." When in fact that is not the case at all. Yes, i'm getting a new degree, but at the price of my old one. If I was able to keep my old degree, AND get the new one, I wouldnt say one word about it. I'd happily pay...However, since this new one is infact replacing my old one, and i'm NOT graduating again, its sort of pissing me off.

Everyone keeps saying "i've never seen this before" and "this is the first time this has happened"...blah blah blah...."we appologize for this oversight". This whole thing is starting to piss me off, and All I want is my new degree...Hassle free. However, that doesnt seem to be the case, as more and more people are baffled by my case, and since I have explained it about 10 times to upper administration, i'm hoping you see my point.

All of this happened from me noticing that I had no major average calculated on my transcript 2 weeks ago....I've found out i'm getting a new degree, they're making it difficult for me to get it, and I still have no idea what my major average is.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

I'm REALLY trying...I Swear!

I dont know how to use my exercise ball. I can do anything that has to do with exercise, situps, pushups whatever.....but as soon as I try to use my exercise ball....Well....today....I tried to do some sort of situps on the exercise ball, and since I had company, they were trying to talk me through this, and explain to me how to "center my core" Whatever that means.

So I do one sit up, and i'm feeling motivated....situps are no problem for me, when i'm on the ground. I did ONE situp on this ball....i'm so excited that I did one, that I was talking to my company and he was reminding me to focus....the phone rang, it distracted me... I lost my balance and I rolled off onto the floor in a fit of giggles....

How do I use this thing?? Seriously.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Blogger Confessional©

I think that this topic should be a weekly one. Like This week I....and all the wretched things you did. And I really think that it would catch on. I know its scary to admit all the nasty things you do, but if I start, maybe you'll see its not so scary, and follow suit. *Okay...dont think i'm a bitch, or the meanest person alive...I had an crazy week*

This week I:

- Saw an OLD Volkswagon bug, and saved the punch for someone later on. *havent you ever seen one of these, when no one was around, and want to punch someone for it later on??*

- Was sitting in class, and my friend was whispering something about the class notes to the girl beside her. I know, whispering is different for different people, but she was sitting beside me, and I didnt know that she was even talking until the bitch in front of us turns around and says "Can you shut the fuck up, i totally cant hear over you". She was totally stunned as she only said about 3 sentences to the girl, about class related things. But she stopped talking....about 15 minutes later, that bitchy girl, leans over to her boyfriend and since I can see her lips moving, I know shes talking. I poked her on the shoulder with my pen, and said "Could you please shut up, *I didnt swear*, I totally cant hear over you".

- Ate some jelly beans at the grocery store while I was waiting for my friend to get whatever she was getting.

- slipped an anonymous note under the door of my neighbor *this was not actually this week, but 2 weeks ago, but It was a longitudinal experiment, and I have some results*. You know that my stupid neighbors are SO loud, and keep me up all the time. We scream back and forth between eachother's walls, and even though i've never seen these people, I recognize their voices. I hate them. All night long they scream at eachother, and I swear it sounds like a huge circle jerk everynight in their apartment.

So I put a note under their door, after a night that they were Particularily loud. This note said

"I would usually never complain about noise, but this is fairly akward, and I feel you had the right to know. Last night at 3am, I was woken up by loud moans and giggles by you and 2 others. I am not opposed to gay relationships, and please dont take this note as a negative response to your lifestyle choices, but be aware that I dont live on your floor, and your extra curricular activity was heard loud and clear. I highly suggest that you keep your intimate relationships to yourself"

I havent heard ONE noise out of their apartment since then....that was 2 weeks ago.

- Found out that I was ONE credit away from an entirely new degree, and no one thought that it was a good idea to tell me. I came in the summer to talk to academic advisory to find out what I could do if I came back. They told me what I could do, and its what I came back for. Last week, I had a question about my grade point average, and brought my transcript to academic advisory, and they looked through my transcript and noticed that I was ONE credit away from an entirely new degree. And had I been TOLD, I would have taken that credit either of the semesters that I was here, and gotten a new degree completely. The thing that pisses me off, is that the transcript that I showed them last week, was the exact same transcript that I showed them in the summer. And in the summer when I sat with them for 4 hours going over all of my options, I want to know why they didnt tell me then.

I went on a rampage and today is my meeting with the head of the department. I'll keep you posted.

- sent an email to a friend who reads this blog about someone who I ABSOLUTELY hate! Oh fuck I hate this guy...he agrivates me daily, and everytime he's around, I feel like ripping my skin off. *If you're the person I sent that email to, you should be laughing right about now...I know I am*

- I lied to a boy when he asked me if "I liked that"...and then lied to him the next day when he asked me what I was doing, and if I wanted to get together, and have avoided his calls all week.

- planned to cheat on a test, but i didnt need to. Once I saw the questions that I was afraid I wouldnt remember the answer for, I remembered the answer, and didnt cheat after all.

I think that's it....that's what I remember off the top of my head.....But for next week, i'll start keeping a list.

* Blogger Confessional© and the idea of Blogger Confessional© is copyright of " ...unhinged..." and "Princess Pessimism" (that being me). If there is any financial gain to be had from this idea, or anything related to this blog, it is to be mine. =)

**Should you want to use this idea for your blog, email me to, you know, ask permission and all that fun legal stuff. If I like you, i'll most likely say yes. But all credit for the idea must be given, and linked...but you still have to email.... LOL *What a power trip this is*


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Monday, February 06, 2006

Sin City...We're on our Way.

Its been a while since i've been on vacation. I went to Ft. Lauderdale 2 years ago almost to visit a friend, and hung out at her hotel-esque condo and tanned for a week while she worked. Then last year, I was living in the states, in MA...and alternate weekends, I travelled to New York City, and Boston..but those arent really vacations, since NYC was usually a day trip...And when I was going to NY for day trips every 2 weeks, I was getting bored of the city, as I never had any strong ties to a daily schedule there. I only went to shop. But now that I dont go every 2 weeks, I miss it rediculously.

Maybe last January, I started talking about how I wanted to go to the Grand Canyon. I mentioned the idea to Miss Ash, and although, at first, she laughed. I started stealing travel magazines from my gym, and buying books about the Grand Canyon, she started coming around to the idea...and we talked a lot about maybe going May 2006. I passed the idea around to a few other friends, and we were all pretty excited about going.

Skip ahead to June 2005. Our friend Heather meets a guy. Within a few months, they're living together....then get engaged. The wedding Venue? Las Vegas.

So we're headed to Las Vegas for our friends wedding. And since I was the one who planted the "lets go to the Grand Canyon" seed in everyone's head, it was the first thing I mentioned. I dont quite know what our itinerary is, except for the wedding day. DESPITE what Ashley says...I have nothing planned yet.

Has anyone ever been to Vegas before? Everone says that the hotels will keep us preoccupied for days on end. Jenny wants us to go to something called the "Star Trek Convention"...Whatever that is....I dont know, but it sounds totally nerdy to me. She ALSO suggested that since we have another friend of ours going, who's a firey red head, that she can be Ginger, I can be Mary-Anne and Jenny wants to be Lovey...complete with parasol AND gloves.

Our token "Ginger" wants to get a new tattoo at Hart and Huntington, which I want to be there for...those guys who work there are rediculously hot. Our token "Lovey" wants to wander the streets and go to the Star trek thing....Uhh...Okay. And then there's me. The token "Mary-Anne"....who only wants to go to the grand canyon.....but whether or not we go, is still up in the air.

I mentioned taking a one day bus trip to the G.C. Jenny says there are too many loud and obnoxious people on bus tours. I said that the only way to combat that, is to become the loudest and most obnoxios person on the bus...which I am totally prepared to do. But we're thinking we may rent a car instead.

We have ALL agreed that whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. As i've heard that is the rule. Jenny decides to kill someone? We're all in to dig a shallow grave in the desert. Questionable sexual advances including monetary suplement? No problem. If we arent soliciting, we didnt do anything wrong.....One of us gets drunk, and married? The others will help us register when we get back to Canada. But whatever it is....Its in the vault.

I think I can be Mary-Anne...but my hair's too long for pigtails.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Uhhh. Right.

So i've recently come to learn that Incognito Mike thinks of me while he jerks off.

After an utterly bizarre conversation over messenger on Thursday night, he decided that I had the right to know that he thinks of me in more than a friendly way. And when I flat out asked him if that is what he meant, he said yes. And then said "Is that okay?"

Between my jaw hitting the ground, and me blocking him off msn faster than I thought possible, I came to a conclusion that I felt that I needed to share with you.

IF you ever have fantasies about someone of the opposite sex, who you barely know and have only met twice, PLEASE dont tell them. It makes things very akward, and to be perfectly honest, I'm a little creeped out, and disgusted...and I wish he'd never felt that he had to share that with me. Maybe he'd think Id be flattered....well, I wasnt. And i'd be much better NOT knowing.

And, yes, he does have a girlfriend. Jenny has advised me to mention it in a diplomatic way...but he hasnt tried to contact me since then, and I dont expect him to any time soon. Is it the right thing to let his girlfriend know what happened? Or should I just let it go, and hope he never talks to me again?

I'm torn slightly. I feel that she has the right to know, but I dont know what to say so that she doenst think it had anything to do with me. Jenny has already given me some good advice, but I'm putting it out there....I need your help. What should I say?

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


As most of you know, I have, within the last few months, moved back to Windsor. And as a public service anouncement, and slight geography lesson to all my faithful American readers, who know nothing about Canada, Windsor boarders Detroit....and for anyone who likes football *shudder*, you know that this weekend, Superbowl XL is being played at some stadium on the Detroit River.

Actually, ouside of my apartment buiding, and one small block east, I can see the staduim...and actually, on a clear day, I think I can see it from my balcony. But whatever.

I'm REALLY dreading this weekend. It's going to be so busy, as it is starting to get really crazy already. I didnt plan on being here this weekend, but I have a midterm already on monday. So i'm sorta stuck. Friends are planning parties, and i'm trying to decide if its best to just take off.

Actually, the most exciting thing thats been going on, is the terrorist drills they're running. Helicopters have been flying back and forth all day for the past couple of days. I dont quite know what they're trying to do, but they're taking precautions, and training for them.

Someone explain all of this to me. Who's playing, and whats the big deal? And if anyone has any idea about the terrorist drills, let me know.