Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Of Midterms, Weewots and Lame pick up lines

This is going to be the most RANDOM blog...but it will give you lots of things to comment on until I after my midterm friday.

Midterms - First, I'd like to say, that I wrote one midterm today. I took LOADS of practise tests online, and study guides, blah blah blah....and scored close to perfect on all of them....HOWEVER, when I got into my exam today, the questions were substantially harder, and I'm not feeling as confident as I did when I Was sitting in the comfort of my own home drinking a glass of wine and taking practise tests. I THINK i passed, I hope I passed.....now I only have my Sex midterm friday, and Anthropology monday, then I at least have a week break until my LAST midterm!!! HORRAY!!! Then November is assignment month, and then december its all over again for Exams. Fuck, I cant believe theres only 6 weeks left in the semester!!!

Weewots - After reading Phil's crazy blog about mimes, I realized that I cant wait to have children, because I am SO excited to shape someone's reality, it's not even funny. I remember my friend Chad and I used to talk about this in great length when his wife was pregnant with their first child. He was intent on telling his child that there he was very famous, and that there were many books written about him and I quote "Maybe you've heard of it, Its called "The Bible". I mean, how would his kid know? Connor *as he was named* would only know what Chad told him, and he'd have to go on that....After these conversations, I realized what an impact we have on little kids' reality. Now that I have 2 neices I torment them about things like this.....until someone comes along and ruins my fun. Of course, with a just turned 3 year old and a 4 year old, who know how to read, shaping their reality isnt easy anymore....Yes yes, they can read....the older one could read last year, my sister workds VERY closely with them and they're in private education classes. Anyway, I digress.....I will at ONE point in my life, convince a child that something is called a Weewot. I dont know what it is about that word, its not a word, but it's fun. It sounds British. LOL....anyway...fork, table, car, whatever....it's going to be a Weewot. I'll let you know.


Lame Pick Up Lines - After I narrowly escaped being accosted by someone wearing acid wash and a turtleneck *shudder*, I started to think about what would have happen if he had REALLY sat down....He didnt, I pulled out my cell phone, and was immediately engrossed in conversation, but what would have happened if he did? Would he have been all Sly, and said, "so...whatcha studying for?" Or something lame like that....and I was forced to recall the all of the pick up lines that I have endured. HOWEVER, I decided to share the BEST pickup line that I have EVER heard. A few years ago, I was in Montreal at a MMA (mixed martial arts) event, and this guy literally comes up to me and says "Hey, you're hot...wanna go halves on a baby?"At which point, after I said "What" to make sure I heard him correctly, and when I was sure I had, I just about died laughing.....and his name was Ritchie, and he was a PHENOMENAL BJJ fighter! Sometimes, those lines...they work.

Whats the BEST pick up line you've ever heard?

34 comments:

Hernesto G said...

Me: Hey do you know where the closest veternarian is?

You: uhhh..why?

Me: *Strikes a double bicep pose* Because these pythons are sick!

Princess Pessimism said...

how are you always first???

Hernesto G said...

i get paid to blog. so would that at least get me a laugh?

Lindsey said...

"...Those can't be real..." (seriously happened)
___________________
"Do you have a quarter?"
"Why?"
"Because my mom told me to call home when I fell in love."
________________________

Sexy Suburbanite said...

You should have brought some wine with you to your midterm -- it might have helped recreate that comfortable, relaxed feeling you had while taking your practice exams!

Pick up lines are crazy! I mean, I know that the guy has to say something to you when he walks up, but why is always something strange? I had to retire this one shirt of mine because I ALWAYS got hit on by strange, random guys when I wore it. It wasn't anything special, but it was kind of tight and it had ESPN written right over my boobs. I swear, the lines I got when I wore that one! Guys are funny like that. Oh, but I love the "halves on the baby" one. That's classic. If only he had said "halves on a weewot!"

Natalia said...

Pick up lines seem to be running rampant...ick

-N

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto - you would have gotten a roll of the eyes, and a disappointed shake of the head! LOL, but I would have laughed about it with my friends later on.

Linny - BOOO someone SAID that to you??? Oh good lord!

S.Subs - If he would have said "wanna go halves on a weewot" i'd be married to that man right now. LOL

Princess Pessimism said...

Natalia - LOL...they are arent they?

yrautca said...

I dont get it when women start talking on their cells to avoid guys. Cant you just say, sorry not interested?

Me to single girl: Lets rearrange the alphabets and put u and i together.
Single girl: I love you, marry me!

Me to single girl: Do you sleep on your tummy?
Single girl: No, why?
Me: May I?
Single girl: will you have my kids?

Me to engaged girl: Is that an engagement ring?
Girl: Yes, it is.
Me: I can buy you a bigger rock.
Single girl call the cops.

Me to married girl: Ever wondered whether the grass is greener on this side of the fence?
Married girl: I dont eat grass.
Me: Me neither.
Married girl: Ok lets do it.

Me to random chick: WHats your philosophy on pure physical relationships?
Random chick: I live for them.
Then I wake up.

Miss Ash said...

I must say Hernesto's 1st one about the pythons made me giggle....but not to be encouraged, i had just never heard that one before.
I had the same one as Linny regarding the quarter to call home...years ago at Impaxx LOL. It was expected at such a shoddy club.

Px said...

for some reason i've never used a line, but i know of a few that make me chuckle...
1) if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?
2) me: are your legs tired?
her: no...why?
me: you've been running through my head all day
3) you've got a face like a spanner, everytime i see it my nuts tighten
4) me: was our daddy a thief?
her: no...why?
me: because he stole the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes tonight
5) grab your coat, you've pulled
6) what do you want for breakfast, because i want you for supper
7) me: fancy a shag?
her: no
me: well lay still because i do

Lindsey said...

Px...that last one is priceless! LOL!!!

Px said...

truly i've never used any of them...but i've heard mates trying them and just laughed at them, walked over to the girl and smile, then walked off with her leaving my mates to stand there and stare in disbelief

Katie said...

px,
i have heard #2 way to many times..lol

i think that is the worst one i have had to deal with.....

well there is this on...

THE GUY:hey what are you doing for dinner?
ME:I duno why?
THE GUY: Want to get a pizza a fuck!

Hernesto G said...

Me: Did it hurt?

Girl: What, when I fell from heaven? *flashes an annoyed stare*

Me: No, when you got hit in the face with a frying pan?

berly02 said...

"You wanna get some chicken and fuck?"

"WHAT?!?"

"What? You don't like chicken?"

-my husband
classy isn't he?

Princess Pessimism said...

Yrautca - OH those are HORRIBLE!! LOL

Miss Ash - Ya, it made me giggle a bit too....

PX - The last one is hilarious!!! I agree with linny 100%, it made me laugh out loud!!!

Hernesto - I can imagine that you havent picked up many women with that last one...

Berly - How can you not like chicken???

Katie - those pizza and a fuck ones are SO lame!!! LOL

Hernesto G said...

No, but I picked up plenty on Alvarado Blvd. (mark that as a MUST SEE PLACE on your trip to Cali). Downtwon L.A. is a place to be...

SO, WHEN ARE YOU COMING?

Jennifer said...

PP,
You know, the UofT student guide says that drinking while you study impairs ability to retain information.
And on the subject of shaping the worldview of gullible children - I thought my dad was a member of the group of famous Canadian painters - The Group of Seven. Why? You ask. It's a very long story. But I thought that for a very long time.

Trib said...

Don't worry about the school stuff, I'm sure it'll be fine! And your weewot thing reminded me of a Jack Handy quote. To paraphrase:

One thing kids really like is to be tricked. For example I told my little nephew we were going to Disney Land, but instead I drove him to an old burned out factory. "Oh no!" I said "Disney Land must have burned down!" He cried and cried. Then I was going to take him to the real Disney Land, but it was getting late.

Hmm, pickup line... Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Princess Pessimism said...

Jenny, that sort of sounds familiar, but you;ll have to indulge me in the story again some time.

Trib - LOL...Jack Handy....do they still even do his quotes on that show?

I wonder if anyone has been stupid enough to fall for "nice shoes, wanna fuck"

Hernesto G said...

hey, what is a PHENOMENAL BJJ fighter??? like he hates BJs and has to fight women (or men) away from him??? why does he fight them off?

Princess Pessimism said...

No wierdo...Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

Lindsey said...

....Ahem...where is your HNT missy?

Phil said...

I always use, "Hi, I'm Phil. Surely you've read my blog."

That always works. If it doesn't, I go on a rant about mimes. Chicks seem to love that.

Cynthia said...

Those pick-up lines are hilarious. I've heard the most common ones. I guess the most random one I heard was when I was in L.A. and some guy said, "Baby you're a star." I guess he assumed that since I was in L.A., I wanted to be an actress and that would get me. Yeah. . . didn't work.

Princess Pessimism said...

Hey, the one about mimes inspired this blog...maybe you should try it out sometime, and then let me know.

Jennifer said...

OK PP here goes, my dad went to university with these 6 other guys. They were really good friends and they hung out together a lot and called themselves The Group of Seven. When I was a little kid they used to all go up to a cottage in northern Ontario for one weekend a year. They called it The Group of Seven weekend.
So, in school when we learned about The Group of Seven and how they were Canadians and they went out into the wilderness of nothern Ontario and painted these famous paintings, I naturally assumed that this is what my dad was doing on these Group of Seven weekends every year, it never occured to me at my tender age that they just went up there to get plastered and act like idiots.
Boy did the teacher look confused when I told her that my dad was one of the Group of Seven.
I'm an idiot, the end.

Princess Pessimism said...

Jenny - Yes yes, I remember that now....

But let this be a lesson to ALL of you. Jenny is one of my most FAVOTIRE people ever. She ALWAYS has a story for everything....Shes one of the most fascinating people I have ever met!

Hernesto G said...

Me: Hey do you work for UPS?

Her: huh?

Me: Because I swore I saw you checking out my package ;)

Her: I want to bear your child.

Miss Ash said...

LOL @ Hernesto

Princess Pessimism said...

Yes yes hernesto....That was funny.

Ms. Pan said...

Here's a terrible one that I heard:

Him: I like your pants. I think they'd look better crumpled on my floor in the morning.

Me: Ewww...yuck.

And the best one ever, from the movie Sneakers:

Him: Would you like to have breakfast in the morning?

Her: Yeah, sure.

Him: Should I phone you or nudge you?

Marcus said...

This is one my mate Ange used -with varying degrees of success, I might add.

"Hey, nice accent. Do you have an Italian in you?"

"no."

"Would you like some?"