Saturday, October 01, 2005

I need some hard core downtime.

This battle between the two people in my life has REALLY REALLY gotten to me. It evokes fight after fight, and SO many phone calls, i've stopped picking it up.

They're complaining about one another, begging for my time. Arguing with me over EVERYTHING "Why do they get that, and I dont?" "Why do they have to be the last person you talk to at night, and not me?"

It's starting to drive me crazy....literally. After a HUGELY heated debate last night, in which the one person got SO pissed off about the situation, they slammed the phone down. Its competition, and neither of them likes it. Although ONE knows that they are more important than the other, and has nothing to worry about. Its STILL not enough. Its not enough that I devote MORE time to that person....they want it ALL. How can I give them everything, when they're pushing me so far away?

Anyway, last night was wretched....and After that, I went right to bed, and woke up this morning, and vowed to myself that I would spend the entire day at the library, which I did. I dont think I could have gotten any more reading done today if I tried.

Point of my post??? This is fucking bullshit, and Its driving me away from the comfort of my own home....because the fighting wont stop. So what better thing to do? Avoid it at all costs. I know it might still be here when I get back, but fuck them. I'm stuck in the middle, and neither of them seems to fucking care what this is doing to me....Assholes.

IF EITHER OF YOU ARE READING THIS....Ya, and you know who you are.....Last night was it, I cant take this shit anymore. I need both of you to stop, and leave me alone for a couple of days....you selfish SELFISH children.

22 comments:

yrautca said...

Yes PP. I am reading this. Ok I will try and make friends with hernesto.

Your friend,

CND

Px said...

chill my little one
sounds like you need a break
i'll be in touch soon

Lindsey said...

Oh no...I am going to have to kick some hard core ass for you PP.

Stop answering your phone. Plain and simple. Enough of the bullshit, let them work it out amongst themselves. Just don't talk to either of them until they're civil

Natalia said...

PP-

I don't know who these people are. I am one for sitting down and putting everything out on the table.

If that doesn't work, yeah I guess the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation.

Sorry you are going through hell.

-N

SS said...

Oh no! I am sooo sorry to hear about this stress in your life (plus, on top of classes and homework -- I would freak)!

Still, I can't help but think how lucky you are to have two people who love you so much and regard you so highly that they come to you and fight for your time like that. It sucks that it is coming out in such a negative way though. Perhaps they are reading your post now and realizing what they are doing to you. I really hope that is the case.

Best wishes!

Katie said...

I'm sorry you are having such a bad time pp!!

berly02 said...

I always found that I studied better when I was upset. It really sucks that you feel you can't even be at home though. I hope they straighten up soon for you.

Jennifer said...

Dude, I'm with Linny.
If this continues it's because you are giving it oxygen, don't play into it, don't participate, if that means switching to outgoing calls only and unplugging the phone the rest of the time, then so be it.

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto....Alexander Graham bell....Was Canadian....

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHAHA

(not laughing at your issue, but at Alexander Graham Bell)

Princess Pessimism said...

Bleph...

Dont laugh Goof. Okay okay, So TECHNICALLY he wasnt born in Canada, we're diverse!, and he didnt invent the phone here....but he lived here, A LONG time, and when he did, he realized that voices could be transmitted over long distances....and for THAT, we're staking claim

Jennifer said...

The Alexander Graham Bell homestead is outside of Toronto, C eh N eh D eh!

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesot...Bell is american as Apple Pie? Okay then, I guess that he was born in Scotland has NOTHING to do with anything then right?...Or does that make his Scotish as a piece of Haggas *dont kill me if spelled it wrong*

Princess Pessimism said...

you're so wierd....LOL

StealthBadger said...

Blick. I know what you're talking about... I spent too damn many years trying to be what people wanted that I forgot about my own needs, and it almost broke me (in forgetting English, swinging from the chandeliers, saying "ook ook," and beating passers-by with a thighbone kinda way) being in a powerful tug of war.

Now, I don't have the slightest clue how the hell to talk with people I like, and I'm only slowly learning.

But it's even easy as hell to respond to people I dislike or distrust, and I sleep a lot better most nights (when I'm not agonizing over the latest dumbass social faux pas :D).

Ugh, I really should make a point here. It seems like you got your point across, but just in case I'll throw out something you already know just because either hearing it again will help, or venting at me and telling me to get the fuck over myself and stop being patronizing will also help. Either way, you win.

If you spend years and years being nice and tolerant, the only way to get over that and convince the people who have been emotionally bleeding you that you for really real mean CHILL THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW is usually to very deliberately and very openly let them hang out with your dark side for a while. You know the side. You see someone trip, bump into somemthing, then mug a "please give me sympathy look" at you, and you laugh. Maybe you hug them afterwards to ease the sting, maybe not, your call. But you get the point across: "You're not the center of my universe, and you can never be. If that's what you want, get a Cocker Spaniel."

Good luck, and good hunting.

Px said...

it's haggis

Phil said...

Just step out of the middle and refuse to respond to either one if they bring up the conflict. I don't care if they are 6 inches away from you shouting at you, just go Helen Keller on them unless they're speaking like normal human beings. That's just my two cents. I hope they read your blog today.

Lindsey said...

Are you still answering your phone?

Princess Pessimism said...

Linny...Well. There are TWO answers to your question.

1. One of them called me 25 times in an hour, and left 25 messages. The next day, the other left 10 messages inside a half an hour.

2. NO, I havent started answering my phone yet

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto..

I dont think he's that famous here, a lot of people have no clue who he is....

Dont you think Borat is the FUNNIEST thing you've ever seen though???

Princess Pessimism said...

When he pulls out naked pictures of his wife and shows them around, I am DYING of laughter...Did you ever see that one when he went to the winery, and did that wine tasting?

Katie said...

have not "read" from you in a while...i wish all is well