I know I wasnt very clear about this whole "10 year ago ex" thing that I wrote about in my last post.
We broke up amicably, when I moved to Windsor the first time, in 1996, for my first year of University. We were going to see how things went, but he ended up sleeping with someone else about 3 weeks after I left, so, in all reality, it didnt go very well between us.
After my anger went away, we became friends, and hung out only 2 times, but saw eachother out a bunch of times. Of those 2 times we saw eachother....one was friendly, the other, a little more than friendly. So that was about 5 years ago....since then we have not seen eachother, but exchanged a couple of emails, and I have indeed blogged about him in the past, as someone...well...Whatev. Anyway, I wasnt clear when I explained. YES he was an ex from 10 years ago, But No, this is not the first time we have talked in 10 years. We are friends. And he's a great guy.
We talked the other night...in great depth about the possibility of maybe starting something again. He sat there, on the other end of the phone, and I asked him what it was that made him constantly come back to me, and why I always felt comfortable going back to him....and he said that maybe, sometimes, people have such a good strong connection, that the connection, never goes away. I dont know. All of my exes are quite jerky. Except him...he's the only one I managed to remain great friends with.
And with his ideas about the connection lasting through out the years, I remembered that I really cared about this guy, a LOT. And if we were to get back together, would it be just like old times? In a situation like this, we were great together, and we could be great again. So I asked myself, how I really felt, and I thought about it, and wondered that maybe there really are people out there, who are just pieces of you...that complete who you are. Ash is one, Jenni is one, LD is one, H, H, T, M, D, B, A, N are all one peice each, and this guy is one.
No matter what path he travels, it always winds up coming back to me. I'm not trying to be conceited, but he always manages to find his way here....and when that happens, i'm always more than happy to have him back.
However, this time, he's got a girlfriend....And that confuses me, because if I am really who he wants to be with, why didnt he see that 5 years ago, when we hung out....10 years ago when we dated...Why havent ANY of the guys ive dated noticed that, until we break up, and then they call me crying about how breaking up was the stupidest decision they ever made, and the biggest mistake of their life.
Ive been very confused about this situation...and In all reality, every piece of me wants to see, but then i realize that he has a girlfriend, and I dont even want a part of it....
14 comments:
I know exactly how you feel!! I dated this guy on and off for awhile and maybe about a year ago he (while living with his girlfriend) told me how great we were and how he thought we could have been married and shit like that. The problem was, he was ALL talk no ACTION.
I don't know WHY guys do this. But you have to ask yourself. If he's doing this to the girl he's with right now, would he do it to you if you got back together?
I know it's hard and he probably is a great guy, but PP you deserve WAY better than what he's offering. I could see if he came with no strings attached - that might be different. But he sounds really confused. He wants it all sounds like to me.
Men!! Can't live with them, can't live without them.
I went to Windsor from 1996-2000, just saying.
Scott
Rawbean - i have asked myself that very question, and the answer I came up with was not a happy one. And the conclusion I came to was exactly what you did. He is really confused. And if he sorts it all out, then he can let me know.
Slop - You're absolutely right. And I dont want to be in the same place 10 years from now, that I am today.
Scott - YA...tell me about it.
Hernesto - I get it...and I totally agree with you. Good analogy. LOL!
I'm agreeing with Rawbean. If he did it to her, he will most likely do it to you. As you know i'm either Black or White as you say. How can he even know if he wants to get back together when you haven't seen each other in years. I would think you would hang out, get to know one another and see where it goes from there. I think you should remember your new years resolution..No Drama!!
I'll vote for Rawbean. Don't get all desperate and do crazy things.
Ash - Im confused because I dont know if I should hang out with him even. Hes got alterior motives...He's got a girlfriend, he shouldnt even be talking about the things he talks about. I dont know, I havent thought about it...i'm avoiding it...And watching big brother.
Trib - I wont..promise.
Don’t know about Canada but in US girlfriend means girlfriend, not wife, not fiancé, not anything else. You have a girlfriend because you are not ready or sure that she is the one. So he should be able to get over this girlfriend crap if he is for real. Otherwise he is just hiding behind the girlfriend to extract some stringless, cordless, guiltless sex.
Your instincts are right on this one. Until he's free and clear of that gf stay away and let him know that in no uncertain terms. BTW, if it makes you feel any better, you are a blog piece of me. I just keep coming back here!
Look who is back from vacay? :) Dude...this is some hardcore stuff. Starting things back up with exes is something so delicate. I mean surely there was once attraction and love, etc. and you can bet some of it must still be there. However, there were also surely reasons why you broke up. And those reasons might still apply. I don't know. Also, people change. So the things that affected you might not anymore. Ahhhh...see what I mean? Anyway, the girlfriend is a big old red flag. But there might be explanations. Either way, be careful and follow your heart.
-N
Yrautca - Well, whatever it is, Its confusing the shit out of me.
Phil - Aww...you are a blog piece of me too. When I speak to him, I will
Natalia - See thats the thing, the only reason we broke up is becuase I moved to Windsor for university. We didnt want to do long distance, not at 19 yrs old anyway. There were no bad reasons we broke up. We were fantastic together...thats what makes it so confusing
Ah well...that changes things. But also...people do change and that might put you guys in different orbits. All I am saying is tread lightly until you know what you are dealing with.
-N
Natalia - Thats good advice, and everyone seems to be saying the same thing. Like I said, just becuase he was the firght guy for me then, doesnt mean hes the right guy for me now. However, we were great then, and could be great again...who knows. But I am treading lightly...thanks for the advice.
I don't know how you feel, no girl I have dated has ever wanted me back! Consider yourself lucky. Wait till he breaks up with this chick before you ever consider taking him back.
I don't know about all that girlfriend stuff - I wouldn't want to touch that with a 10 foot pole.
But, I do totally get the whole 10 years thing. Me and my high school sweetie broke up when we both went away to different colleges far away from each other. But, we did the whole "more than friends" thing every time we saw each other for the next year before we finally broke it off for good (also because he was sleeping with other people). Anyway, we were only 18-19 when we split and he used to say to me all the time "Why did we have to meet now? Why not 10 years from now when it would have made sense? We can't make this work forever right now. But, if I had met you at 28 it would have been forever." And, I got it. He used to say that sometime, 10 years from now, we would randomly bump into each other in a bar or somewhere and it would be like we had never been apart. He really wanted that to happen. But, obviously, I'm way past that now. Still, I sometimes wonder if he's wandering around our hometown hoping to bump into me. I'd like to think that he is anyway...
So, you see, I get it. You dated when you were kids. It couldn't have worked then. Now this guy is ready to be with you as an adult. Still, until he ditches the other chick I wouldn't have anything to do with him...
Post a Comment