BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
I dont know about you guys...but this totally sums up my life for the past 7 years. I'd love to say thanks to my favorite LD for saving this for me, and to my other Weewot. I Love you dearly...cheer up...you're amazing!
30 comments:
Hey Princess, I am never mad at you. I was a bit harsh as I was just trying to tell people to take it easy. Its only blogs. We all dont need to say bad things to each other. I am sorry if I was too harsh. Love ya!
Yeah i remember this email and it also sums up how i am feeling at this moment in time. Confused, scared, lonely ...... well you read my blog so you understand what i'm talking about....it sucks, but we'll all make it through....I just want to know when it will get better.
Princess- You express yourself beautifully. You could probably write a book or screenplay that would be turned into a major motion picture coming to a theater near you. How do they know the theater is near me? How do the theaters know where to find me? Thanks for visiting my blog. I ALWAYS enjoy your comments. (I sincerely meant the compliment about your writing. Maybe you should look into that as a career.)
My dear PP. It is as if you took a page out of my journal. (Have you been snooping around my apartment?) lol. Seriously, I went through this REALLY bad last year. Even considered moving to another state for a fresh start but fear of being so far from my nephew (and not being able to find a job that paid equal to what I make now) stopped me. I still feel all of these emotions to an extent. I'm doing my best to do something about them. And so are you. Look, you've put your foot down about the friends that weren't being so cool to you. You're going BACK to school at your age...you're gonna have what you want and so will I. We'll just be old and wrinkly by the time we get it. lol.
Beautiful.
Is there more I can say?
It has already been said.
Beautiful.
Yrautca - I know its only blogs....and I was talking to someone else about this. Ive been reading blogs since the summer and havent read on where the comment section was as heated as mine gets.....Its CRAZY
Miss Ash - I wish I had an answer for you on that....but if you find out when it gets better, let me know, cause i want to know too....
Phil - Thanks....I've been writing a long long time....
Linny - LOL..You know, i've done the "i'm going to move to another place and start all over" the unfortunate thing is, it doesnt work. Becuase you just run into new problems, and new aggrivations. And you never get away from the old ones either....they just follow you. Trust me on this one. And what are you implying going back to school at MY age...LOL....RUDE. HAHAHAHA
Berly - thanks lady....
Wow, I don't read your blog for a couple of days and look at all that I missed!
Anyway, this is great. I think we a;; totally feel this way sometimes. Half the time I am so confident and sure of myself and happy and the other half.... Well, the other half is all fucked up =)
S.Subs - Let that be a lesson to you to come everyday then...LOL
You said it all. i have nothing i could say...have a good 1
ok
i know i promised a comment, but this is it
that's a little too close to home for everyone i think
and not i'm singing jamie cullum, but that's not too bad :)
http://www.jamiecullum.com/
(i was trying to get the html link to work, but it won't let me and
i'm not very good at it either)
Px - Well it's about time. Although I understand that its hard to leave comments when we discuss things other than here.
it's not because we'd discussed this before, but more to do with feeling uncomfortable
UNCOMFORTABLE??? I want everyone to be comfy here....Although, that doesnt seem to be happening on some of my other comment sections
PX, I hope nothing I may have said on the blog made you feel uncomfortable, I think you're awesome and I hope you'll keep commenting here.
PP, I think you are so right in this post. I've been thinking a lot about this stuff lately. Being at a turning point and all, but I feel like I've been at a turning point for the last 4 years, the turn turned into a zig zag.
Oh jenny - Ignore him, he's just a whiner! LOL.....
And my life has also turned into somewhat of a zigzag....its funny how that happens. One minute, you're surely direct about where you're headed. And the next, all of a sudden, you're looking back at the last 7 years and wondering what the hell happened to them. Its good that all of our friends seem to be going through the same thing, if I was the only one, i'd probably be in therapy! LOL
it's nice to know i'm not the only one going through this :)
PP, things will be better. I feel much calmer as I approach 30. Friends have told me that 20s are torturous and 30s are much better.
So where's hernesto. I hope he didnt take offense to anything I said.
I think he has vanished off the face of the earth.
And I am ALSO approaching 30. Im turning 28 on saturday
Happy Birthday PP!!!!
Am I invited to your party then?
ok
by uncomfortable i mean that things are a lot like my life and i'm not the keenest of people when i am confronted with things like this
fear not i shall continue to comment, it's just that sometimes things are a little too personal for me to want to comment big or funny things
Wow - that was written about me, I'm sure of it...
Yrautca - Sure why not, lets all have a big blogger b-day party! IF you can make it to Coco Lezzone for 7:30 EST saturday...we'll see you there.
PX - thanks for clarifying. Although I still think you're a whiner.
Courtney - LOL...dont we all feel that way....sigh.
PP, I'd get some numbers, your reservation might not be for enough people now that you are advertising on the world wide web!
And besides how are they going to recognise you? By your hair? or your eyeball? or your mouth?
i'm not a whiner
i'm a whinger
LOL @ Jennifer
PP-
That was really amazing. And yes I do feel that way a lot. But I know it's part of the journey :) Thanks for writing it down.
-N
Miss Ash - you realize that if you LAUGH at Jenny, you encourage her....
PX - Whatever...you're still a whiney boy!
Jenny - Oh, yes, I failed to realize that. In essence, consider this an UNvitation, to all of those who were not previously invited....Sorry....next time =)
Natalia - Ya, its how I felt too....funny how we're all going through the same things at the same time.
How's your crisis going PP?
I just had another one...you'll have to read my blog to find out.
whinger
whiner
bothered?
not really
:)
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