Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Ga-Jilli What???


Gajillipede....Only because they have a GAJILLION LEGS.

I'm laying in bed the other night, and i'm HALF asleep...I hear something that makes me open my eyes....and in my half state of consciousness, I THINK I see one of these crawling into the frame surrounding my window.

Now, my windows in my apartment were just replaced, so they are still open around the frame of the wall, and it's not very attractive looking, i'll tell you that much, but I'd rather have new windows, than old ones. So i wont complain....until now.

And of course, since i think i've SEEN one of these "common house centipedes" I cant generally go to sleep now can I???? So of course, I jump out of bed, turn my lights on, and rush around madly trying to find something to slam ontop of this thing....Of course, its not there.....and because I was half sleeping, I dont know if it was to begin with. That was 2 nights ago.

Last night, I'm laying in bed, trying to sleep, but I cant get the image of this thing out of my mind....I'd FREAK if I woke up one day to find one in my fucking bed....FREAK!!! So I'm laying there, keeping one eye on the window at all times. But nothing comes of it, and I go to sleep.

TONIGHT....if you are looking at the time this blog was posted, I started writing it at 4:57am.

I was up late...phone and all....trying to work some of my life out. I come out, because I know, of all people that are in the world, 5 of them will be awake and still on MSN. So, of course, I sign into MSN, and sure enough, there they are.....however I'm sitting here, talking about my night, when this little brown things runs across the floor by my feet. Of course, it's moving SO fast, it catches my eye, and I see what it is...And sure fucking enough, it's one of these Bad Boys...and of course, i'm like EWWW FUCKING HELL....

So I FLY out of my chair, as I know that it has run underneath my floor lamp and is just hiding out until the lights go out.....so when I pick up my lamp it takes off in all sorts of zig-zaggy directions, and I FREAK out, becuase if this thing touched me...i'd LOSE my mind. So I drop the lamp and grab the nearest kleenex box and start hitting.

For all of you who have tried to kill one of these things....you already know.....but for those of you who havent...they're so god damn resiliant, that I nearly destroyed my kleenex box trying to off this thing.

Well I succeeded, and now I know that I wasnt imagining it the other night, I HOPE that it was the one that I saw....but rest assured. I'm going to get bug spray tomorrow, and insist my landlord finishes my windows first.....

26 comments:

berly02 said...

I have chills all over. Gross. I feel for you having to go through that.

Hernesto G said...

Wait a minute? You are not living with a man? Eh, I am confused now... I thought all the women in the Western World depended on a man :|? So, you have Kleenex Boxes in Canada, you are pretty advance... and you swear a lot...

aside from asinine remarks I thought the STORY WAS HILARIOUS!!!

Katie said...

That is damn funny. That sounds just like something I would do. Wait it was something I did!

I was about 5 months prego and I woke up cause I was dreaming that something in me Pj pants so I started smacking the shit out of my leg till it hurt and looked in my pant and low and behold there was a fucking Scorpion in there. I was like fuck an A man. I freaked the fuck out. It seemed like forever that I could not wake up thinking I had someing in my PJ's.
But I live in a old farm house in the middle of the woods. I think that had a little to do with it.

hernesto,
why do you even bother to leave a comment? You bug the shit out of me! which is your goal to piss off people. Well your doing a damn good job LOL DAMN

Hernesto G said...

dude, what if there are more...what if they are some terrorist spy device? can't sleep clowns will eat me...

;<

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto...Did your dad make you a clown bed too as a young child?

Anthony Crimaldi said...

Wow, Linny has some awesomely funny friends.
Thanks for leaving me a message. I'll enjoy reading your blog everyday like Linny's.

Hernesto G said...

My dad said to me, "Son, I HATE Camels?" I said, "Why, dad?" "Because son, you should never trust anyone who can drink more than you." And with those words he passed out, then he threw up all over himself, and bugs crawled on him - The moral of the story is that HE MADE HIS OWN BED and SLEPT IN IT PROUDLY...

Hey, Katie - WHAT DOES ACTUALLY PISS YOU OFF? The fact that I have a Confederate Flag superimposed on a GAY Rainbow???

Miss Ash said...

Why did you have to put a picture of one ughhhhhh. As for them being resiliant i disagree, you touch them and their legs go "poof" all over the place. The problem however is actually catching them, they run so fast. You recall the story of Dawn and i in our bathroom in the wee hours of the morning, her perched on the toilet me in the tub, smacking away at one. We left the carcass on the floor for a week till my nanny came and picked it up with her hands. They are revolting.

Chaz said...

A Gajillipede? Priceless!

Those things are always in my basement. I usually let them live, so if an army of gajillipedes ever enslaves the human race, e-mail complaints to chaz_is_the_man@hotmail.com

Lindsey said...

lol lol lol...That was so fucking funny!!! He he he he he he!! I would have done the same thing. There is NO WAY I'm going to bed after seeing that thing on the wall. I just know it would crawl onto the ceiling and fall on me while I'm trying to sleep. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Awww. Isn't Anthony sweet? I like that guy.

And personally I think everyone should just stop acknowledging Hernesto...it just feeds into his craziness.

Katie said...

hernesto,
no i dont care what you do with that flag. every1 had there one "thing"

yrautca said...

That was a horrific story. Its scary because I had a similar experience with a rat once. Yes a long long time ago I used to live in a small apartment and one nigh I woke up cuz I felt something was in my bed. It was a rat. Yes I couldnt sleep for months. I was terrified. I got the rat the next week but I couldnt sleep still.

PP I need to move in to protect you ;)

Princess Pessimism said...

Yrautca...Move in??? You're willing to move internationally to the other end of the continent to protect me from bugs???

petrow said...

he'll rescue you from a little bug, awwwww what a sweetie, i have mice , will he come protect me or do i need to be a female


heheheh

forever and always.

babyjewels said...

I feel for you. Yesterday I opened the mailbox and saw a HUGE grey spider about the size of a silver dollar. Which is pretty freaking big when you think about it. I couldn't get the mail. I would have had a heart attack if it were in the house.

In leui of bug spray, hair spray works wonders.

Px said...

hey Hernesto
i've got pics of PP
:P

Princess Pessimism said...

Anthony - Ahh, a newbie...welcome darling....dont let PX scare you away.

Miss Ash - YES, you and your bugs...I swear....

Chaz - Believe me, if they start to take over, I will hunt you down myself. LOL

Linny - The THOUGHT of a bug falling from the ceiling...could you imagine if it fell onto your face while you were sleeping??? UGH...that stresses me out!!!

Petrow - BOY...be nice....

Baby Jewels - I'm not afraid of spiders...I love them.

Princess Pessimism said...

PX...He's the DEVIL you know. he'll readily admit it.

Px said...

am i evil...?
can i get a "hell yeah"

Natalia said...

I think I have seen these... I am generally not freaked out by creepy crawlers... but the magnified version is ... erm... ewwwww

-N

Hernesto G said...

Buyakasha, my main man PX has come through... lay it on me brotha...

Px said...

hernesto
i'm not sharing
this pic is for my eyes only

Sexy Suburbanite said...

When I lived up north I hated these things too. But, now that I live in Florida I am too busy being terrified of roaches to care about any other kind of disgusting bug. Oh my God, just thinking about roaches I feel like I might barf and they are everywhere down here! Ugh -- what is their purpose in the great circle of life? That's what I want to know!

blepharisma said...

Mmm. I understand.

My folks have some o those in the basement. I don't often go in the basement, so they don't bother me much.

My sis, on the other hand, has had MAJOR freak out episodes over them. She thought she saw one on the main floor and decided she couldn't be inside the house.

mmmm

Princess Pessimism said...

PX...stop. Lol....you're a tease.

S.Subs...I know ARENT they wretched? And yes, the cockroaches bother me, but the little lizards bother me more about florida...UGH, they drove me crazy

Nuclear Beaver said...

Yuuuuuck. Now I'll be losing sleep. I hate those damn things.