Monday, September 05, 2005

...Oh ya...speaking of the dentist...

...mine was out of town, and I needed to get in for an appointment, I chipped my tooth some time ago, but my benefits didnt kick in until September 1st. And, being the procrastinator that I am, waited to make the appointment, until September 1st.

Luckily, my dentist, who's been my dentist since my first tooth errupted, just joined partnership with a NEW dentist, who's undeniably hot, and takes the overflow patients when my dentiest is out of town. So for waiting until the last minute, I was able to get in on an emergent technicality! LOL.

So I get to the dentist, and with it being friday, and living under 15 minutes from Niagara falls NY, traffic is JAMMED, headed in the direction of my dentist. But after swearing, and maneuvering my car in and out of the traffic lanes, I manage to make it to my dentist in 45 minutes, when it should only take 15.

So I get there, and thankfully, Dr. Drill *you'll come to appreciate this nick name shortly* is running late. When I get settled in that gigantic dental chair, he comes in a few minutes later, and gets to work.

He puts the chair back, and I dont know, maybe he loves machines...or he thinks he's funny, becuase he put the chair back SO FAR, my hair was touching the floor. Now, my hair isnt that long, maybe 3 inches or so past my shoulders...And it's curly, which makes it shorter still. My head, was paralled with Dr. Drill's shins, and I looked at him and said "I FEEL like i'm upside down!!!" His response "you look like you're upside down...let me see if I can figure out how to work this chair better" *UGH....shouldnt he know how to do that already???*

So we get underway, and he says that because my tooth was chipped, there was a little bit of a cavity forming, a "tiny one" he assured me, which I believe becuase my tooth was only chipped a short time, I cant imagine how big it would have gotten in a couple of weeks *I generally get these things fixed pronto, but no benefits...until September 1 remember?*

IF he had read my chart, he would have known that I require 2 shots of anasthetic, becuase my body metabolizes it VERY quickly, and the freezing from 2 shots of anasthetic is gone within an hour to an hour and a half tops. So when my dentist freezes me to do any work, he has to do it immediately, becuase the window to do work where i'm frozen is VERY limited. Dr. Drill, doesnt know this, he gives me one shot, and leaves...FOR TEN MINUTES. When he comes back to start, I'm almost completely unfrozen. Which is when he starts to drill.

Now, i'm NOT afraid of the dentist at all, but when he started on my teeth, I cant tell you the pain that exists with no freezing. And after about 3 minutes, the assistant looks at me and says, "are you okay???" To which I reply "I can feel EVERYTHING", and then I start to laugh, which I OFTEN do when i'm in a great deal of pain, it's my defense mechanism.

Dr. Drill says, "well...at least you have a sense of humor about it....you can just "white knuckle" it through the rest, we're just about done with the bad part, and if you can make it through this, think of all the money you'll save on anasthetic"...and then he laughed.

Okay, the worst is over...He has these cotton things in my mouth, that sort of looked like tampons, to absorb the spit in my mouth, becuase the assistant in there, didnt ONCE think to do that with her little vacccuum...and let me tell you, The taste of blood, is sickening. So he's got this little cotton thing in my mouth, and after a couple of minutes he pulls it out, and i feel something drip onto my cheekbone...GROSS, but he never said anything, so I think maybe I imagined it...i dont know.

He puts the second cottony thing in my mouth and after a couple of minutes, pulls that one out too....and what happens next takes a matter of 10 seconds to play out. He pulls the thing out of my mouth, and as I'm looking up, I see his eyes dart to the floor, and his head swivel around questioning, while he looks on the floor. As his eyebrows furrow together, and he looks more confused that anyone i've EVER seen, I say "It hit me on the face" And then I burst out laughing. I'm HORRIFIED at this point, becuase it's got blood and spit, and whatever else in it, and it hit me on the cheekbone. VOMIT right? Dr. Drill didnt feel the need to apologize for that...

We're just about done, they cleaned up my face, and he's using that double ended hook to do something in there....And as he's flipping the hook around in his hand to use the other end, The Hook that was JUST in my mouth, CATCHES MY LIP. He caught my lip with that DIRTY DISGUSTING HOOK that he was just picking the inside of my tooth with. My eyes probably bugged out of my head at that point, because he was like....UHHH...what did I just do???

At the beginning of the appointment, he placed this rubber wedge inside of my teeth, the keep my jaw propped open, and as the appointment ended, he pulled it out, and because his assistant didnt vaccuum the spit out of my mouth ONCE, it was all underneath that wedge....so of course, when he pulled it out, all of the blood and spit that was in my mouth, was now all over my chin.
And all I could say was "EWWWWWWWWWWW...that's SICK!!" "to which he responded...."Oh Ya...let us get that for you"...

He thanked me for coming, and when I stood up, he MUST have been 3 inches shorter than me....he looked up at me as he was talking, and stopped and said "woah" I'm ONLY 5'9....he couldnt have been taller than 5'6, maybe 5.5 and a half.

I got out of there immediately...and let me be a cautionary tale...if you find a dentist you love, stick with him, until he's dead....or retires.

10 comments:

petrow said...

thats my girl, no freezing agent, i hope the art that he drew on your face with your blodd and spit sells for top dollar, we can take a picture of your cheek and sell it on ebay.

Chaz said...

I can picture you on a hilltop as a grandmother, the grandkids gathering 'round, saying, "Granny Granny, tell us that story about the hot dentist with the funny name who got blood and spit all over your face!"

Ah, memories.

Lindsey said...

Oh my gosh!!! Lol! That was horrible and funny all at the same time!!! Gross....Gross...Gross...
This is why I hate dentists, in my mind, they're all that way.

joy said...

!!! I hate going to the dentist! The smell alone when you walk in is enough to scare the crappers out of me.

Princess Pessimism said...

Petrow - Ebay? I thought you wanted to start that "Other" webpage...

Chaz - GRANDCHILDREN??? god i'm not even 30 yet, ALTHOUGH...my grandmother, who is still only 66, was a grandmother at 37 years old....she had my mom young and then my mom had my older sister young. CRAZY right?

Linny and Joy - Why are you afraid of the dentist? The dentist is your friend...except Dr. Drill...he was EVIL..and did nothing to make me feel good, except look hot.

Natalia said...

OMG... I had all of my wisdom teeth removed at the same time. It was the wrse pain in my life...I was crying from the sheer pain and oxy-whatever they gave me was my only salvation.

-N

Phil said...

Hi Princess, First, hopefully you won't hold a grudge against me for my rant on Canadians, and secondly, I can appreciate a good dentist, and you definitely did not have one for that appt. In one of my appts. once I actually had an oral surgeon say , "OOPS!" as he stuck a novacaine needle in the roof of my mouth and blood spurted out on his smock. There are two people you never want to hear say opps, your dentist and your hairdresser.

Princess Pessimism said...

Philly...NEVER could I hold that against you. Dont worry. I like the "Go move to canada" "I hate american" banter we have going back and forth...it makes me laugh out loud... =)

Trib said...

Hmm... mental note, don't operate w/o anaesthetic and get blood all over horrified patient. Check.

Px said...

i HATE the dentist, whe i go now i have to be completely knocked out before i'll let them do anything major, if th'er just looking i'm ok, but if it's more than that... hell no, i'll happily pay more to be out of it.
it stems froma similar incident in which my old dentist numbed the wrong tooth and decided that it wouldn't matter and i would be fine...and he believed this right up until i passed out in his chair
i have a different dentist now