Friday, September 16, 2005

It may very well be penis envy....

Seeing as it's friday and all, lets make this as informal as possible shall we?

I'm taking a Sex class. YES....it's about sex.....get over it already, we're all adults here. And it's detailed around human sexuality, in all varying degress of society, as it rightly should be.

We got into a MAJOR discussion about sex roles in society, and how back then, "then" being more or less a progressive term as women's lib is still advancing. We began to discuss how throughout the course of history, Penis = Power, and I have to admit...Its TRUE, I hate to say it, but it is, and it's starting to piss me off...but not how you're thinking. Women are outnumbering men in universities, and are relatively capable of obtaining the SAME jobs that men are...but are still uncapble of obtaining the same salary.

I, personally, am not bitching about this, I come from a family where women are VERY affluent, and often make MORE money than their male counterpart, so i've not been exposed really to this...as my family is well above the functional definition of "working class"...but I digress....

And of course, aside from the whole "castration complex" that exists in the psychological world of Little girls childhood....we learn, at a young age, men play a more dominant role in society Dad's the boss, mom makes dinner....blah blah blah, as children we're horribly unaware of what's really going on. I know, It's sad, but true. Men appear to be more aggressive...they're more extroverted....they're just more out there....I dont know...This is just how I see it, and i'm pretty "out there" myself.....Men just seem to have more....Confidence I suppose is the word i'm looking for. And even if they DONT have it, it still seems like they do.

So i've come to a conclusion. I'd like to be a man...for ONE week....and I think a week would do because any long than that, a certain guy in my life, might being to question his sexuality....LOL

I'd like to know what it's like to NOT be lumped into a category of workers who are subject to the term "Glass Ceiling"....but I wonder.....is it inevitable....because of boobs? IS THAT really the distinguishing factor here?

I meant what I said....women's lib has come a LONG LONG LOOOOONG way over the past couple of decades...but women's lib always makes me scratch my head *this is where I get sort of pissy*......We FOUGHT horribly for equal rights, Bra burning protesters screaming about how inequality is holding the world back from progressing....And I agree....Women's lib IS a good thing....HOWEVER, if we fought SO hard to be treated as equals....why is it that women will STILL bitch when men dont hold the door for them? Buy them flowers? Pay for dinner? We FOUGHT to have men NOT do those things...and now, complaint after complaint?? Well, I'll never complain, but I suppose it's an inherent quality that comes from socialization that makes me always at least OFFER to pay for half....

I understand that some of you might think the word Chivalry comes into play here, gentlemanly, kind acts of consideration.....and it does.....it really does. Some guys, hey...they're just really nice. And like to do generous things....like this guy in my life does.

He would SPOIL me if I let him...but I often refuse to let him do so....Infact, I have only ever ONCE...I think once, MAYBE twice asked him to help me with something...as it then turns out to be a major point of argument. He likes to do things for me....i've just got a very hard time letting him....I've grown up knowing, and practising severe independance from outside sources....I like to do things myself, and it's not a control issue, I've just usually had to do things on my own....there wasnt a great deal of Love and Support in my family.....I never heard my parents say that they were proud of me....or that they love me....so you internalize this, and realize that If you're not going to do it for yourself...dont expect anyone else to do it for you.

And I LAUGH at the women who really have the "damsel in distress" act downpat....because it's THOSE women, At least i've found, that are the ones bitching in one sentence, how they dont make as much money as their boyfriend/husband...and then, in the next breath, gloat about all the fabulous presents/jewelry/vacations this man treats her to, or about how she had a latte in one had and a book in the other, and not ONE man jumped up to open the door for her.

I think womens lib was VERY beneficial, in helping women attain many aspects of cultural norms that we had very often been left out of.....But then of course, my point remains....If we fight so hard for equality....dont scream when you dont get flowers "just because"...guys dont generally BUY other guys flowers...just because. And if you fight to get treated like "one of the guys" dont bitch when it happens.

I'm going to crawl into bed, and curl up with my text books....It's dreary outside....I dont like weather that can be defined as dreary....it means winter is coming.....And SO much for keeping this post informal.

49 comments:

Hernesto G said...

Hey I have a picture of my balls I could post, just so we're all on the same page.

Princess Pessimism said...

CAN YOU STOP....PLEASE. Jesus Christ...you're so fucking deranged....

Lindsey said...

Hernesto...leave my friend alone. I get the feeling she is not interested in seeing your balls...

Great post. I love that you're taking a sex class. Why the hell weren't they offering that when I was in school?

you know...in my last relationship, I was making twice what my boyfriend was and it was a definete problem for him. I didn't get it. It's like look, I'm busting my ass to make a good living, I'm sorry if you haven't been as fortunate or hardworking as i've been. deal with it.

Princess Pessimism said...

Linny...See what happens when you go back to class.....although, starting at dicks all day, is affecting my though patterns LOL

Isnt it the WORST when guys have to depend on you for something, and then they feel so shitty about it, they make your life a living hell over it...UGH

Katie said...

You know my mom always told me to never depend on a man. Take care of yourself she says.

But look at me my bf does everything for me and i just stay at home and clean the house and take care of our son. to me that sucks, I can't stand it. But there is not to much I can do about it till I can find a job that pays well. we cat put him in daycare cause my last job would pay for daycare and that is it.
o life sucks bad

Tasha said...

I don't think you're deranged at all. This issue is so complex. There are so many mixed messeges. Sigh. This is too much for Friday night. Plus, I should be banned from this conversation, since my college degrees and hard work have still left me obsessing night and day over a man I had, and lost.
At the end, I still would do almost anything to be loved by him. No matter what, we all want love, and some women will play the role that gets them that love because it's just that important.

yrautca said...

Is kama sutra a required reading/viewing in your class? Score a few points with the instructor by bring this up.

Penis = power? Never heard that one before and I am a guy. My perspective is penis puts a lot more pressure on a guy to perform. Excuse my being forward but a guy has to get it up whereas a woman doesn’t have to do anything except mimic Meg Ryan from When Harry met Sally. A vagina then is a much easier organ to possess. And if you are of the school of thought depicted in Dan Brown’s DV Code, then the V is much more powerful than made out to be.

I have met many strong women. Some called themselves feminists. No one ever had a problem with me opening the door or paying the bill on a date. Those who do are not really being powerful women. They are just being confused.

I can understand your need to be independent. Its within all of us regardless of gender.

So to recap I will honestly state that as a guy I see that these days women are becoming more powerful than men, at least in the west. I feel this true at work, and society in general.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

P.S. your shutting up hernesto 'moron' g was erotic.

Princess Pessimism said...

Tasha...Ahh yes...the one that got away. Isnt that a bitch? I still to this day, think about one in particular...who years ago wanted only to love me....and I was too afraid to let him.

I agree with you 100% about the roles that women play in society that bring about certain rewards. Sometimes I wonder....If guys really want the girl that's "Oh...I cant do that. I'm just a girl =("

I hate to admit it, but I have done that, and it does work. I did it when I was getting my windsheild wipers replaced...I KNOW how to do it, but it was raining, so didnt want to. I'm a victim of circumstance I suppose.

Princess Pessimism said...

Yuartca...Kama Sutra is not required reading, and our professor is a fabulous gay man, I dont know If I really should bring it up.

the V may be more powerful, but i never use it to my advantage or as a "one up" over anyone. Besides, we have JUST As little control over that part of our bodies as you do.....

I'm interested in these Feminists who did not oppose to you paying for dinner, its a sociological phenomenon really. Expecially if your definition of feminism includes economic equality of the sexes, not just social and political.

I agree, women may be becoming more powerful in Western culture..but I feel that the power shift might be too much, and we are still unaware of how to handle it...or make it work in our favor.

Erotic??? How so? I'm interested. =)

Cynthia said...

Hey, I just started reading your blog and I love it. I totally agree that we have a long way to go with feminism. I was recently dating a guy and he didn't make very much money. When I would offer to pay for something, he would get offended. I am, however, one of those contradictory females that calls herself a feminist and yet still wants a guy to open the door for her and still expects him to pay for dinner. You've given me a lot to think about. . . I'll try to change that kind of thinking in the future.

yrautca said...

I guess the feminists I met were like cynthia above. They were not too stuck on who pays the bill or opens the door. Mind you, I am talking paying the bill on a first date. Its not an ongoing thing. She can pay the next time etc. Over some time everything evens out. If you cant get down on your knees to ask her to marry you because she feels strongly about equality of the sexes and would rather both of you on your knees, thats a problem.

I liked how you told hernesto that he is 'fucking deranged'. Wasnt erotic per se but effective!

Princess Pessimism said...

Cynthia...Welcome to my wonderful world....LOL

I am by NO means of any definition feminist, as I dont want social, political and economic equality...I Expect it...which in turn Makes me a new subculture of feminist that has been previously "undefined"....Unless thats what post modern fiminism is...I cant GRASP that definition for the life of me.

And i'm sure at one point or another, no matter what you're idea of gender equality is, MOST women, will one day, flash an expensive engagement ring around....I know I will. =)

Princess Pessimism said...

Yrautca...Well yes, if everything eventually evens out, then I have nothing to bitch about...HOWEVER, if everything eventually evens out, I have nothing to bitch about...LOL. You can see my dilemma.

Hernesto G said...

Yrautca,
It is not Hernesto "Moron" G, but Hernesto "Che" G. get it, got it good... Do you think we would've brought rotting capitalism to its knees in Cuba if it weren't for strong women? And what do you mean in the WEST. Communism and Socialism "opened the doors" to women rights BEFORE "The West" even put any thought to that arguement. Women, were freedom fighters, doctors, teachers, professors and prositutes waaay before they were even allowed to wear pants in America and The West. So, hurray to Glorious Revolution!!! Go Women Rights!!!

Princess Pessimism said...

Oh my GOD, henrnesto...do you actually HAVE a point? Wow...i'm shocked....not just random wierdo comments....

I think you're right. Communism and Socialism DID do a lot of positive things, but also did a lot of negative things...dont get me wrong, I'm a fan of the Marxist-Leninist theories as much as the next girl, but think of how Communism turned out....

Doctors were the financial equvalents of trade workers, teachers, and garbage men.....And all of this was BASED on distinctive socioeconomic status in society.

I understand what you're saying though....and it is concepts like communisim and socialism that revolutionized the world....I guess it just took a little longer for the trend to travel to us....

yrautca said...

I will now revise my estimate of hernesto's brains from being pea sized to ball sized. I stand corrected h m g.

I will be honest, you guys seem to have a much better knowledge of feminism than I. But ignornace is bliss in my case. I can truly say I have NEVER felt that I was superior to a woman in any way. Yes I compete hard but dont think that I have any natural god-given traits that put me ahead of women.

I can live with not opening the door and not ever paying for anything again. But there's gotta be a limit. If she thinks I should get rid of my penis so we are on level ground and become lesbian lovers, I might not be able to oblige.

yrautca said...

Umm I take that back. I would love to be a lesbian lover.

What was I thinking. duh!!!!

Princess Pessimism said...

Yrautca

Actually, I have very little opinion on feminism....As a matter of fact....I barely think about it ever. I only did because it male dominance was brought up in class yesterday.

And you know, all this talk of women and men has made me realize that I wouldnt MIND a guy taking care of me....I'd still like to work and all, but i'd be nice, to have a guy take care of most things.

Trib said...

This is a pretty good discussion. I thought I'd toss in my two cents, if I might. Now, I don't want to discount that there is sexism in the US, but might some of the disparities in say salaries be explained by men being more aggressive and confident acting? Who will get you that raise if you don't go out and get it for yourself? Being more extroverted and "out there" is pretty valuable in a business situation. And remember that in business there are no set rates for the work you do. Everything is negotiable.

Princess Pessimism said...

Trib...although I DO agree with your point to a certain extent, as
We are seeing recently that men and women can hold the same high powered jobs, but ultimately, we dont know the salary difference.

like look at shows like the apprentice....the girls are MORE cut throat then the guys are, and who knows if they'd make the same amount....I assume they would, but maybe thats just me being naive.

Sexy Suburbanite said...

I agree that I would like to try being a man, but a week? That seems waaaaayyyyy too long. I think I could handle a day -- maybe.

Ah well, it is hard to be a feminist and NOT sound hypocritical every once and awhile. I certainly am one who complains about the unfairness with pay between the sexes, and I am also a very independent person who refuses help to the point that it's painful. But, when it comes right down to it, I am only human, and I do like Hubby to at least offer to help, and to every now and then buy me something nice that shows he is thinking about me and cares. I guess that's just one of the human race's complex contridictions -- I need to be independent, but I need someone to love me too.

Sure, I make more money than Hubby now, but I wouldn't mind so much if he made enough money to support me (not that I could ever really give up work -- I would go crazy -- but I would like to have enough money to explore different careers, go get my PhD, etc.) I think I may be a bit of a traitor to my feminist beliefs sometimes, but they are still alive. And, Hubby is cooking me dinner right now!

Princess Pessimism said...

Sexy Suburbanite...

I agree with you 100%. and I often think that sometimes, the reason that some women are SO feminist, is becuase they havent found someone to spoil them and may be slightly bitter. But then again, that's just my opinion....

But I suppose it's the human condition that is what enables us to have the desire to be loved, and protected...and if we dont get that, then is also the human condition that makes us envious of the people that do...I'd be interested in knowing how many of the women that started the movement, were in stable, secure relationships.

yrautca said...

Sexy Subs,

Being a strong independent woman and allowing/asking your make partner to do things for you are not mutually exclusve. He is cooking dinner for you and that should be a normal regular situation. Its not a statement from either one of you. A woman should be able to ask her partner to make her dinner. So I'd say congrats to the 2 of you for being in a situation like that.

I started cooking recently. Some family/friends find it weird but I dont. Whats the big deal with a guy in the kitchen. Its a good pastime.

I never ended up with anyone making more than I but I dont see how that will be an issue for me.

Natalia said...

I also would like to be a man for a few days...there are some things I'd like to experience...but then, get me back to my body ASAP please.

And ick on Hernesto :(

-N

Hernesto G said...

PP,

How many women who started Feminism movement were in "stable relationships"??? :|... have you even studied the movement? How many of them were thrown into jail and how long they were kept there is a better question. Watch an American movie, "Iron Jawed Angels".

Yrautca: I think you are sucking up now to Princess Pesimism to score a photograph, no? playing the adrogenous non-threatening man. Listen, cooking is not a past-time, HOCKEY is a past-time.

Face it, as much as women want liberty and suffrage women also need A MAN. This goes back to an animal behavior of hunters and gatherers. Because at the end of the day, a woman needs a man, an animal, a strong man with a penis. Cooking takes too much thought, spices, flavors - not a man's job. Chopping wood is a man's job, hauling trash is a man's job, doing stuff that involves a muscle (not that pretty California Venice Beach type of a movie star muscle but a real lumberjack). Women are smarter, women are more creative - and that is why they do what they do. The reason is why they don't get paid as much in business is the same reason racial, religious, sexual and other minorities do not - because business is controlled by bigots, idiots, and insecure white capitalist men - whose time WAS coming to an end - and just resurged (in America with Bush presidency). That is all.

Communism = everyone is equal. Man, woman, dog, horse... Garbage man never received as much as a doctor, doctor never received as much as a prostitute. There is SUPPLY and DEMAND everywhere. Class system still existed, where all professions and jobs are necessary, some are still higher... Doctor, teacher, engineer - what always mattered!!!

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto.

Yes, I KNOW that people were jailed for it...but still statistically speaking I meant.

And for the record, I dont NEED anyone to take out the garbage for me, just like you dont NEED anyone to cook for you....but you'd LIKE someone to cook for you, and that's where the difference comes in. And if I got everything that I would LIKE to have in this lifetime, i'd be a lot happier.

I agree with you 1000000% about big business being controlled by big idiots. Its a sad state of affairs when close to the apex of a revolution, we're shot back down to square one. GOOD CALL Hernesto...good call.

NO ONE is getting my picture...drop it already

Hernesto G said...

so, I think we need a new topic. This one has reached its end.

Oh, and by the way, if you are such a fan of Leninism-Marxism I have to say that Lenin nor Marx never denied anybody their picture. In fact they were very photogenic. :). Let's take example from them.

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto.

If you have nothing more to say on the subject, then you are indeed correct, FOR YOU, this topic of conversation is at an end.

And as for the picture...WELL, when I grow a big white bushy beard, slightly resemble Santa Clause, turn into a man, grow a mustache, go bald OR come up with a sociological theory that changes the world...you'll be the first to know, and get pictures.

Sarah said...

I think it is easy to be confident when you are male becuase society says you are what everyone else strives to be. Women can have all of those same attributes but it is less common becuase we are not raised to be. We are told at a young age by our society exactly how we should be and we label women who do not fit that type!

Princess Pessimism said...

Sarah, you're certainly right. We, as women, classify other women when they do not fit societal definitions of what "women should be"...however, the simplest definitions cease to exist in 2005.
Who's to say WHAT people should be, or do, in their lifetime?

Its complicated becuse although society still seems to think that women fit a subserviant role, we are at the same time, NOT supposed to fit into a subserviant role.

Wouldnt it be nice if we could redefine WHAT roles everyone should play in society, and get out of the mindset that people are supposed to fall into certain categories of life.

Hernesto G said...

PP.

you can't redifine those roles without redifining: religion, constitution (not sure of Canadian). By the way, you had a woman prime-minister in Canada and in England too. What are you complaining about women roles? Are you directing all your statements towards USA?

on a more serious note: So, what hockey team do you follow?

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto

I NEVER said I was complaining...go back and read my blog again, I was asking WHY women still complain, and on a couple of occassions actually say "I'm not complaining".

The point of my entire post was that I didnt understand why women fought for such rights and then some complain about not having men do certain things for them....I was merely stating that I was bored by those who argue to have the things done for them, that we fought to no long have. I NEVER complained myself....

I dont follow hockey...remember I hate team sports. Go read 100 things about me....

Hernesto G said...

I am sorry, I kind of stopped at 27) The Old Navy thing... Male mind works that way.

See that is exactly a female thing to say: I hate team sports.

What is the female movement in Canada? Are there any civil rights movement in Canada? are they needed?

Princess Pessimism said...

What happened Hernesto..I thought you wanted to talk about hockey? Why, after you wanted to change the subject, are you asking about Canadian social problems? Go read the newspaper...LOL

petrow said...

mmmmmm should I make a random comment or be smart, it's such a tough call, i think i'll go with smart, seems theres more people at that party today.

Wome dont need a dick to feel powerfull, men need to come to the understanding that history can only be used as an excuse for so long. I'm thinking that they guy your with just wants to feel strong and needed not only as a boy , but as something productive in the relasionship, tell him he's right , let him make a judgment call or 2 and he'll shut up , trust me, it's not about the money or the stature in life, it's always and will forever be about the ego stroke.

nice blog,

Hernesto G said...

My friend who is a very successful woman tells me all the time, that women who make more than their men are ugly and are living with moochers. Because a beautiful woman is uncommon, she is treated as being uncommon and she will not levitate towards a common thing like a guy who has no motivation to make anything out of his life. This is what eventually all that it is bottling down to. One can be a PH.D. in physics and be as beautiful as Valentina Tereshkova (the first woman cosmonaut), but she still will levitate towards a guy who has ambitions!

So, even though women fight for equal rights in the workplace they still tend towards men who make more then them, who will make them feel like they are lady, a woman, something feminite. Do not take this as feminite is weak, but just different then masculine.

oh, and PP... newspapers are not writing anything about Canada :(, shame, but seems like nothing happening there. Except of course hockey scores.

Princess Pessimism said...

Petrow...

Thats some good advice... =)

I think what this guy in my life doesnt realize is that he IS a productive part of our relationship...I wish I knew how to protray that to him better, as there wouldnt BE an us, without him....but I understand what you're saying....

I trust you, and i'll take your word for it....

Anonymous said...

I'll trust you and I'll take your word for it??? Lady, this is internet!!! By the way what is the definition of IS?

-Bill Clinton

Princess Pessimism said...

anyonymous...

Did you ever think that I might KNOW petrow?

Ugh...IDIOTS.

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto...

This isnt a debate of beautiful vs. ugly.

Try reading the Toronto newspaper, I personally promise you that there are MORE than hockey scores in it.

And you have a FRIEND? WOW....congrats. LOL

yrautca said...

There’s been much discussion lately on feminism in some blogs. Should I be offended that there was no discussion on masculinism? What’s that you ask? Precisely my point. Isn’t ‘feminism’ a very anti-feminist movement? Isn’t it like admitting that women’s rights fall under a separate category the driving force of which is labeled feminism? But as soon as you admit that, you have committed discrimination based on gender. Such is the dilemma at hand.

Unfortunately until only recently most societes were patriarchal. Thus forcing women to take up the issue of their rights in such a forceful and explicit manner. In today’s society as women have gained much ground on men and are either equal or superior to them, I think that f you are still call yourself a feminist then I have to raise the question of masculinist.

I see myself being with someone special. Gender will not play any part except when we are doing ‘it’. If she does the laundry I will do the dishes. If and when we have a baby and she makes more than I, I’d be open to staying home with the baby a few weeks and then get back to my job. But what will derail this process is if she starts feeling hostility when I try and hold her as she pukes after a rough night out, or if I brought her breakfast in bed, or if I took her car for an oil change. If that’s what feminism is then I rather not face it.

As for the pic, hernesto, you can eat your heart out, cuz princess didn’t send me a pic, she sent me a movie on a CD starring her and some other chick.

Princess Pessimism said...

Yrautca...

you're a SHIT disturber you know that dont you??? thats how RUMORS get started you know.....LOL

I think you should write a blog on "masculinism"...I would read it, and advertise for it on mine...As I am already doing so....
And I think it would be an insighful concept.

And gender plays no specific role in any relationship I have in my life...they never have and never will. I dont want a 50's type of Leave it to Beaver existance, where I stay home and clean all day, while he goes to work, and then comes home to discipline children and read the newspaper. NO THANKS.

Its sad that you guys in the states are only entitled to a couple of weeks for maternity leave....we get a year in canada, and they are currently talking on extending it to TWO *there you go Hernesto...Canadian social issues*

I would LOVE it if a guy brought me breakfast while I was still in bed....for the record, I eat blueberry babyfood and tea. =)

And as for the video.....you DO realize that the guy in my life reads this...you're trying to get me in trouble....HES KIDDING HONEY...

homewrecker...LOL

yrautca said...

oops!!!!

Yes Princess did not send me a CD at my work place via Fedex on a silver CD with the label 'Canadian babes gone wild' on it.

I apologize for causing any trouble. And congrats for landing such a classy babe.

Hernesto G said...

Eh, "Canadian Babes Gone Wild"... there was a thought that just ran through my head - I just hope the dental system is not set up like in England. I really didn't know porn was popular in Canada, but on the other hand I remember the words of Robin Williams, "Canada is like a great loft over an apartment with a wild party." I wonder what Mexico is, then :|?

Well, you know every one gets about a year off for maternity except America. I guess those Yankees started equating a man and a woman - weird, both get about the same amount of leave for a newborn; about one weekend. And if you are in California, they are a bit more liberal, I believe it could be maybe an extra day, like a Monday or if you want a Friday before that. I also heard that parents plan the kids around major holidays, so not to loose work. Damn, cuthroat business capitalist Americans, no wonder they are #1 capitalist economy, after suicidal Japanese, I think.

So, what are the news from Canada. By the way, who is your Prime Minster? I am not in Germany, but I know that they are having their elections Social Democrats vs. Christian Democrats are in a nose-to-nose race. Canada is like 10x that size and I have no idea who is even running it. Could it be that it is less important than Germany?

Miss Ash said...

I have pics of PP in a toga :)
hahaha I love bugging you

Hernesto G said...

i think women's lib was a poor excuse for putting women where they shouldn't be. where exactly has it got society? women are active in the workplace, we have women as corporate executives and political figures...great. because of this supposed boon, families suffer, divorce rates are wayyyy up, and money grubbing whorishness is at an all time high.

Princess Pessimism said...

Its okay Miss Ash, you're forgetting that I have pictures of you with certain "paraphenalia"...

I'm sure your MOTHER would love it.

Hernesto G said...

Hey, all ya'll visit my website, for a VERY LIMITED TIME I will post my picture... then you post yours... come with me on a magic carpet ride!

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