Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Once upon a time...

...when I was in Rez....first year, I was somewhat of a shit disturber....I'll admit it. I was up late, and always starting shit...just random shit. It was fun, but I was a LOAD of trouble.

If you can imagine that my residence looked sort of like a prison. LOL.....It wasnt a standard res, with halls where you really only got to know the people on your floor, mine was completely open in the middle, and had the doors all around it. Instead of getting to know only the 100 people on my floor, I got to know 400 that lived in the building.

One night, me and this girl that I hung out with all the time were leaning over the balcony, and the president of our rez, was sitting 4 floors below, on a couch directly below us. I looked over and said "Jeff's right there, go get a pitcher and fill it up with water". Within one minute, I was standing in the same place, pitcher in hand....and Jeff hadnt moved....I leaned over casually, and dumped the entire jug ontop of him, and by the time it hit him, we were already in this girls room, LAUGHING hysterically.....This of course spawned the BIGGEST water fight of the semester.

I wish I could have seen his face.....but in order to remain anonymous, I had to hide out, until the laughter subsided......what can I say, I caused a lot of shit in that place..and i'm surprised after all the times that I got written up, I was never kicked out.

Now, this isnt the ONLY time that I managed to get away with this sort of thing....And I was ALWAYS up late....you had to be, because all the good stuff never happened until after 2am.

I also remember I was taking a specific history class about witchcraft and wicca, and their historical relationship *I had to, history was my minor*....now, I thought it would be an easy course, but since I was the only one taking it....I got a lot of slack over it....and one morning, after I had woken up, I come out to find that the entire rez had been littered with pictures of me, saying "wanna cast a spell, contact me, the local residence witchdoctor" and my room number. It took me a week to find all the ads, and rip them down. And of course, I vowed revenge on my friends.....

I managed to get them back in the same fashion that they had.....Not so flattering pictures existed of them in certain drunken states.....and within 2 days, these pictures were ALL over campus...not just residence....posted in good humor of course, but I cant imagine that they were happy about it. I think I spent 50 dollars in photocopying that week. And of course, upon later recollection, realized that if I had put as much effort into studying as I did on pulling pranks on everyone, I probably wouldnt have been kicked out of school....LOL

So...after the entire first semester of constantly "one upping" most of the people that I knew in "getting" one another....It was Christmas exams, and 3 quarters of the entire residence were up, at 3 am.....

I was awake, trying to catch up on all the reading that I neglected all semester, and I heard quite a bit of commotion out in the main area. And since I lived on the thrid floor, I had a pretty good view of the entire building. The only area I couldnt see, was the one floor directly above me. I noticed that there were at least 250 people sitting in the main area, which for 3am, was REALLY odd. Since I had been up that late often, I was used to it being fairly quiet. So this guy, Kevin, comes into my room and wants to talk to me about some Psych notes that he missed, and asked me to come downstairs to study with them. I walked out of my room, and when I SAW everyone sitting down there, my gut instinct told me that something was up....fucking gut instincts...ALWAYS listen to them...ALWAYS.

So people are talking to me but really quietly, and I said, on my good instincts, that I Was going to stay in my room, and study there. This one girl motioned that she couldnt hear me, and to lean over the balcony and say it again....and stupidly I did. Within ONE second of me leaning over the balcony, the guys in the room above mine, dumped a garbage can full of water on me.....and everyone, including me, fell over onto the floor in laughter.......I DIED laughing.....and took off back into my room to change.

HOWEVER, a girl that lived on the opposite side of the building, happened to come out of her room at that exact moment. She saw who did it, and I KNEW who it was, but would never have told on them, but she called the RA, and got these guys in shit. The RA runs out of her room, and sees everyone sitting down there, and comes over to my room, and walks in. She questions me about what happened, and I said "I dont know who it was, I swear, it came from above me, how could i know???" So she goes down into the main area, interrogates 250 people ONE AT A TIME, and of course, everyone said the same thing. Because when it comes to stuff like that, "no one knows anything".

She eventually gets this girl who ratted the guys out to come forward to the head of the residence and confess that she was an eye witness.....becuase something like that, could get you in a LOT of trouble.....And when she said who it was, she set the wheels in motion. All 4 of them got kicked out of residence. I fought it HARD...really hard. I didnt want them to leave, partly because I wanted to get them back, but also becuse they were my friends, and we had this ongoing battle for 4 months......these were the guys I drank with everynight, partied with, and stayed up late playing nintendo, taking pictures in cemetaries, and going to 7-11 at 5am for slurpees. I didnt want them to leave....

But they got kicked out, of rez, and 2 of them got kicked out of the university...and I never saw them again.....I miss those guys. They were good times......after that, in January, pranking wasnt the same, as they were often my greatest partners in crime. The people in charge of the rez were so mad about all the shit that I caused, they switched my room, and I got stuck behind a wall, so I couldnt see anything. AND they gave me a cerfew....LOL. I had to be in my room by midnight. It was either that, or find a new place to live.

To this day still, I cant lean out over a balcony if there's another one above me......

24 comments:

crallspace said...

College times are fun... we did pranks as well, but me typing them will cheapen the thrills.

You should've beaten the hell out of that rat. People who end eras like that suck.

My 1st roommate was a methhead and dropped out of school. From there, I had the whole dorm to myself and everyone was jealous. I had a deal worked out that nobody make a deal of it and tell the head of the Rez hall my lucky situation.... I mean they knew, but I didn't like to bring attention to it.

Anyway...

Hernesto G said...

I love you, you love me, we make a sexy family, with my balls on your forehead and a kiss from me to you,
won't you be my tranny too!

Hernesto G said...

when i lived in the dorms, i took a shit behind a couch in winter time. when the heat went on the whole floor smelled so bad everyone had to leave! when the maid came the next day she started crying and said "in 11 years i work here never i seen this! it must have been a dog!"

but alas, it was I, HernestoG

Princess Pessimism said...

How do you go from a mildly normal person, to a completely fucking deranged lunatic?

seriously.....you really need to fuck off..

Hernesto G said...

Oh, my Princess... The Bad Hernesto side just came out... Me excuzi... what was your major in college? Oh, by the way - you never visited my site

Princess Pessimism said...

Hernesto...Is it your personal goal to become the most annoying person on the planet? Just wondering...

Hernesto G said...

PP,

but...

I just thought I made a friend...

I guess nobody likes me, not my state, not anyone :(

Katie said...

hernesto
I don't think any1 does like you! why don't you leave her the hell alone!

pp,
sounds like you had a lot of fun there!

Princess Pessimism said...

Katie...you've got a hard core attitude...LOL I LOVE that. It makes me LAUGH!!!

Henresto....you need to stop. MAYBE if you took leaving comments seriously, then people would care what you had to say.....

Lindsey said...

It sounds like you really had a great time in school! You were probably one of those girls that annoyed the hell out of me b/c I was a goody goody trying to study and stay out of trouble while you were making a shit load of racket.

Seriously...that Hernesto is really turning into a prick...why doesn't he leave people alone?

Princess Pessimism said...

Linny, Maybe TOO good of a time....LOL. Maybe if I hadnt had such a good time, I wouldnt have to have come back after I graduated....

yrautca said...

Sounds like you were sort of a tomboy personality. Sounds fun though. I never lived in dorms ever. Thats why I am so friggin stuck up and serious.

Hernesto, seriously dude, if you wanted to be in PP's good books you'd tone it down a bit. Why are you so obsessed with your balls. More than you talk of PP, you talk about your balls. Geez!!!!

Princess Pessimism said...

Yrautca...

Tomboy...ya, sorta, I guess....i've always been friends more with guys than girls. However, it always proved difficult for dating because I was always "just one of the guys"

You looking to get in my good books? you're giving some hard core advice you know.... =)

Miss Ash said...

You'll appreciate this..not on topic at all, but i've been ill and was bit by i don't know what in the park at one of my visits. So here it is a week later, and i have these terrible symptoms, achy, fever of 102, rash etc, so my mother starts yapping about West Nile and makes me go to the hospital LOL Needless to say, Doc says perhaps a viral infection, go home.
As for everyone giving Hernesto the attention, have you not learned whether it be good attention or bad attention .... it is still attention. Just ignore him.

Princess Pessimism said...

Ash, I hope you're feeling better....and take the day off work. I'll call you tomorrow.

Katie said...

pp
thanks "i think" LOL

I just cant stand people like that they make me want to smack the shit out of them.

Hernesto G said...

Hey Yrautca, thanks for that hard core advice, esse... May the books will now be open, the good ones - not the bad ones of course... 'cause I would hate to be in a bad book. There is also a Red Book, it is a Soviet Union version of endangered species list. I guess I wouldn't want to make one of those. But a good book sure, unless it is a Bible - that is also called a good book - but wouldn't want to make one of those - don't agree.

anyways... so I lived in the dorms too... we had this chick, her name was B.J. Becky <- her real name was Becky Joe, but we called her BJ for a different reason... the weird thing about this, and this is a True Story is that she came from an ULTRA Christian religious family and it was like she just cut loose. Like an animal that was freed. Eventhough she was pretty smart she ended up flunking out of college, some say that she might've gotten pregnant, not sure.

berly02 said...

I never got to play pranks in the dorms. And that makes me sad.

*Natalia* said...

Ahh...memories....

Natalia said...

Yaay college...and being a professor is a wicked way of staying in college mode all your life...and never worrying about passing the classes lol

-N

Phil said...

Sadly, I've found out that you can't get away with the same stupid stuff at work that I did in the residence hall. Adulthood bites.

Princess Pessimism said...

Phil....

Ya, consequence of working with mental health I think....they dont have a very good sense of humor....

ALTHOUGH, when I was working outside of boston at that mental health facility, we had LOADS of fun, and constantly pulled pranks on one another....Meaning, I tormented those kids...and we always laughed....

Mike said...

Balls on your forehead? how did we get here? Cool stuff though.

Princess Pessimism said...

M&M....

Ugh...thats Hernesto for you. Fucking guy, I swear to god, he doesnt make ANY Sense....and he's obsessed with his balls