Friday, August 05, 2005

Bears In Politics

I'm ALREADY upset.

Think of the most upsetting thing in your life. Think of the subject that makes you SO mad you just want to rip your skin off with your fingernails, and when that's not enough, pull out every vein and muscle, because the PAIN which you are inflicting on yourself, MIGHT take away the pain and anger from that subject.

That is how I feel about Said subject. "Bears In Politics"...OH MY GOD, Just looking at that makes me SO angry. And yes, every problem in life can be deduced into a mental illness. LOL

This is the button my friends push when I'm teasing them, or starting a serious debate, and winning, or just for fun. This is the button that WORKS. I HATE this button, and I dont know why I'm giving it to you all as ammunition, but it's something that, at long last, I feel the need to explain. And like I said, this is therapy for the financially challeneged....So here goes.

Bears in politics starts with the Muppets. *It even SOUNDS stupid* But it's the truth. It all begins, sigh, with the Muppets.

Now dont get me wrong, I LOVE the Muppets. They may be the only movies I'll watch with singing....OHHHH I HATE MOVIES WITH SINGING, but that's another blog. I loved the show, I own all the movies....And I know the concept behind the muppets, people and puppets living happily amongst eachother...Utopia. And that doesnt bother me, I'm all for it. HOWEVER, I feel, that there are certain limitations to my acceptance. This is where Bears In Politics fits in.

In the movie, Muppets from Space, there exists a secret government agency *I can feel myself getting angry again* in which they are trying to discover alien life form. A sort of "Roswell" of the Muppet world I imagine. And within this organization, exists a bear, A BEAR WHO WEARS A SUIT, Oh my god, I'm so upset....And this bear works along side these government officals.

Now I UNDERSTAND the rediculousness of it all, and understand that it's all supposed to be in good fun, BUT HOW did a BEAR climb through the ranks of governemnt to GET such a job? I just dont get it, I DONT GET IT. I can seperate reality from movies, but the idea behind the movies is that you're supposed to suspend all thoughts of reality, and believe that this made up world really exists. SO IN THAT INSTANCE, this bear really has a job at a sercret government agency, and that stresses me out. It hurts my feelings.

I dont know where this comes from, and I dont know why I feel so strongly about it, I just do. I HATE that bear....and i'm sorry, but I do. And if that makes me Anti bears in suits, then i'll have to live with it. I can live HAPPILY knowing that I hate bears in government jobs, and bears that wear suits. *within the muppet world that is, I'm not really THAT crazy* But this is it. This is really it. There's no flashy lights or huge debate, I just hate the idea of bears in politics. OH MY GOD...I HATE IT.....can you IMAGINE ever VOTING a bear into office? A BEAR AS PRESIDENT, What do you think their campain would be? A walking talking bear, living in the White House, as president of the coutry. A BEAR. IN POLITICS. I HATE THAT. Would he be married? *which would mean that he GOT married to begin with....funny because the thought of a bear in a wedding dress doesnt bother me at all. Neither does the thought of a bear in a tuxedo.....but put those bears in a political environment....UGH.

I cant even do this anymore....I cant, i'm too aggitated, but for all of you who KNOW me, be proud, because THIS is the only time i'll ever talk about it. EVER.

I always say...well let me rephrase, IF by some miracle I dont go to hell, and make it to the pearly gates, because of this, "bears in politics", GOD will be a muppet. I'm SURE Of it, and then i'm fucked.


Jennifer said...

Too true, God's a bear in a suit with a big long grey beard.

Jennifer said...

And you'll say, I'd like to go to heaven sir...
And he'll say, sorry, no sucka mcs

Princess Pessimism said...

LOL!!!! AHHH Jenny, you're TOO funny!!! Oh man, i'm too happy to have friends like you.