Thursday, August 25, 2005

...Who's just not into Who?...

Okay, Has anyone heard of that book "He's just not that into you"? The logic behind this book is brilliant, but I dont understand how girls are SO swept up in the "how" of everything.

For all of you guys out there who might stumble upon this blog, let me tell you, girls like ANSWERS. They like to know WHY...ALL..THE...TIME!!! Its probably some interior self consciousness, but I swear to you...the more answers we get...the better. I know what you're thinking..."how come I answer the questions, and sometimes, that gets me in MORE Shit?"...well....to be perfectly honest....girls want you to read our minds...we want you to just know what we want to hear, ALL THE TIME.

Okay, and yes, girls are confusing...because, being a girl, I know that sometimes, even I confuse MYSELF. If i'm fighting with "said" boyfriend, then sometimes I might argue just to be right, even if i've completely forgotten what i'm arguing about to begin with.....he might call me on something that I said, which I remember saying, but now, it's completely contradicting what I'm saying at the moment....ugh...relationships are HARD work.

Girls like to analyze, disect, pick everything apart, to make it make sense...to THEM. Oh, and i'll admit, I'm one of them...I analyze everything to certain death...becuase I want it to make sense to me, in the way that I would have said it myself....and by then, it's so misconstrued....me and "said" boyfriend end up fighting because we just dont get eachother.....

A guy and a girl meet. They have sex for 6 days in a row...and then the guy doesnt call for 2 weeks. Girls want to know WHY...Why did he do that to me...and we Fixate on it. We WANT it to make sense to us...because that's not something we do. We develop emotional connections with people a lot faster than guys do, and we want to know if you're just not that into us...why would you have had sex with us for 6 days and then not call for 2 weeks?

Of course, there are SOME girls who this is fine for....but the majority of the female population, it's just not good.

I was in a relationship...Ha...relationship....well...whatever it was, it was something, 8 years of something.....and 6 years of sleeping together. He treated me like shit, he made me feel horrible about myself...he made me feel guilty about everything that happened, even if I KNEW it wasnt my fault....I spent a LOT of time, and a LOOOOOT of money on someone who was really bad for me....but I kept going back. How could he do that to me? How could he treat me so badly, when i'm such a good person? But...i continually went back, becuase I believe in happy endgins...and I was hoping, to GOD, that maybe one day, he'd realize how good I was for him, and how much I did for him...and that he'd appreciate me. But he never did. I spent COUNTLESS hours, talking about this, and pouring my heart out to my friends....who, after 8 years, hated hearing his name....he just kept suckering me back in...andI dont even know how he did it.

Well, I finally managed to detach myself from him, and block him from my messenger....but one day, I had to reinstall MSN and when I did, my block list was not blocked anymore...and there he was. After MONTHS of not talking to him, he jumps all over me and immediately starts telling me all about the things he's been up to, and what he's doing. And for the 10 minutes we actually talked, do you think ONCE he asked me how I was? No, he didnt. he didnt give a shit and it reminded me why I stopped talking to him in the first place....and i'm done asking questions about him....i just dont care anymore.

Girls have come a long way socially. We can do everything that boys can do...everything....jobs, education, political office, whatever...but when it comes to relationships, something inside of us switches, and we're little girls again...we just want to be loved, and taken care of....protected...

I know, in relationshipds, we are different people, boys and girls...but it's nice to be at least on the same page once in a while.....

The advice I can give to boys: Dont be afraid of us, PLEASE try trusting us...we like you as much as you like us...tell us what you think. I'd rather someone tell me that they dont like me, than lead me on for a month and then never call again. Just be honest. We might not like the answer, but in the long run, honesty really is the best policy. If you only want sex, make sure your intentions are clear, from day one....and if the girl is interested in MORE than sex, then you know to end it...but BE honest about it....dont just have sex, because it's there, and then wonder why the girl is hurt that you never called again. Just tell us the TRUTH, no matter how you think we're going to react. I think most girls would appreciate the honesty, no matter how much it sucks.

The advice I can give to girls: If he dumps you, and gets back together, and then dumps you 4 more times, Dont ask "WHY?". "well why did he call me at 4am to have sex if he didnt like me?" "well how come he did this then?" OR "how come he did that then???" You know why, hes just doenst like you as much as you hope he does, you just dont want to admit it to yourself. And, Asking your girlfriends is worse...if YOU dont know "WHY", how are 4 girls discussing it going to figure it out? If you have questions, ASK HIM.....but of course, dont go MENTAL and boil his bunny trying to figure out....give it some time, and then go back...or forget it. If he wont call you for 2 weeks, after you've just had sex for 6 dys in a row, the only question I have is "WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT ANYWAY???"

Guys need to be honest. Girls need to relax.

*These opinions are mine, and are conclusions i've come to in MY life...feel free to disagree with them

**I understand the irony of calling us girls, but I did that on purpose.

A MIDNIGHT REVELATION: All I want, is to be wanted....REALLY wanted....not when it's just convenient

22 comments:

Nuclear Beaver said...

Finally! Someone else with the boiling bunny thing! I wrote a note to this guy I'm seeing, and I was explaining why I didn't respond to one of his emails and said that I wasn't a bunny boiler and he didn't know what that was.

Lindsey said...

I totally agree 100%! We girls are totally bad about disecting EVERYTHING. E-mails, snippets of conversation, body language...it's like, "he said blah blah blah...but do you really think he meant this...I mean..would he have given me that look if he didn't?" Ugh. it's a sickness. And you're right...I do want my man to be able to read my mind. Come on..is that too much to ask?

Phil said...

Princess, great post. I agree with everything and could probably write the same post from a guys point of view. Also, in response to your response to my comment on your last post: I know exactly where St. Catharines is! I could probaly drive to your favorite porn shop in about 2 1/2 hours. I was kidding about you being near the Arctic Circle. Thanks for the geography lesson though. I'm sure you helped someone out.

Phil said...

NUCLEAR BEAVER- I know what the "bunny boiling" thing is. Very funny! I love that reference.

Princess Pessimism said...

Oh Philly....I know, I was being such a sarcastic PRINCESS when I wrote that post to you. LOL...2 and a half hours? So Syracuse?...I lived in MA for the past year, and drove home a few times...had it down to the minute LOL

HEY...they just got the Christmas Tree Shops in Syracuse....I LOVE that store

Princess Pessimism said...

P.S. Phil...I think you SHOULD write a blog from a guys perspective...that's a GREAT idea, I'd be interested in what you had to say...

Then we can go on the road...and start a theraputic camp for couples....LOL

Phil said...

Princess, I'm originally from Syracuse, but I live in Rochester now. I trust that now that you know what city I live in you won't turn into a bunny boiler! You're right, I should right a blog explaining men to women. I've already interspersed some ideas into previous posts. I'm sure a "Dummies Guide To Understanding Men" would probably be very popular. Actually, one of the funniest books I've ever read is Dave Barry's "Complete Guide To Guys." That pretty much covers everything.

Anonymous said...

amen

FU said...

wow...the six days of sex in a row... and then not calling.. that's not nice.

u should have used it as a sign.

but u know what..guys are assholes and so are girls.. everyone just abuses eachother and fucks everyone over to satisfy their own selfish means.

everyone is fucked. no matter how sane we think we all are.

it's sad. but tru.

i'm not saying a happy relationship is impossible. it's just rare. that's why i find being single so much fun.

love urself before u love others. sounds selfish, but it's the smartest way to live.

Princess Pessimism said...

AWW...No, that didnt happen to me. I was just saying it...you know, as an example of how girls freak out

Natalia said...

PP-

Isn't there a book that came out from the female perspective on that...sort of like a counter to it? Maybe I should go google it.

-N

Natalia said...

Ahhh yes... it's "Be Honest...You're Just Not That Into Him Either." That ought to be a good read.

And there's "It's Called Break-up Cause It's Broken." I think I want that one.

-N

Princess Pessimism said...

Natalia

Isnt it funny how one good idea spawns a whole bunch of rip offs, trying to capitalize on people's weaknesses?

Everyone is looking for the "right" answer, the one that makes the lightbulb go off over their head so they say "Oh perfect...I get it". Unfortunately, that answer doesnt exist...it's the curse of individual preferences, hence, selfhelp books being a multimillion dollar a year business.

Woodenpurse said...

I read the book, the author was kind of annoying, but everything made sense and I agree with the core of the content.

Van! said...

ahhhh yes... yet another straggler to my page :-)

Here is the answers you wish...

I am 30... I have studied since I was 4. I competed in point fighting from 14-16...full contact from 17 till 22 San Shou till 28

In there I had 5 MMA bouts...

However I competed in Festival De Brazilia.. long before UFC was....cool.. I fought three times.. 2 were 30 minutes draws.. the third..a victory over my brother..

Katie said...

I agree with you also.
I know I'm like that cause I drive my old man crazy...HE HE LOL

Michele's Mumblings said...

ummm you have sex with a guy six days in a row and he doesn't call = he's worn out! or maybe you were no good or maybe he found someone else or maybe he his mom found out and locked the door to his room....

Why didn't he call?!

Princess Pessimism said...

Michele's Mumblings...

LOL....That story wasnt about ME. I just made up an example to explain my point about how girls get insecure, and always want answers....like "how could he do that to me"....that's the whole POINT of my blog...girls ask a lot of questions, they always want answers, where as, to guys, it doesnt really matter.

Go back and read all the comments in here...someone else thought it was a stroy about me too...it really wasnt. Especially since my PERSONAL example was about me and a guy I slept with for 6 years...

Princess Pessimism said...

P.S. Michele's Mumblings.....

I went back and read your comment again....you said "Why didnt he call?!?"....you proved the point of my entire blog by asking that question...girls always want to know WHY....That was the point of the entire thing....Thank you for proving it for me!

vociferator said...

i just love this post of yours. it describes me perfectly. not the part on having sex 6 days a week and not calling for 2 weeks of course. but i do agree that girls always want answers to everything, just like me.

popfizz said...

Thing is.. you can be in one of those relationships and have EVERY one of your friends telling you to get the fuck out..

but you stay..
and you stay..
and you stay.

girls and boys .. guilty all the time.

books will not help during.. they may help your reflect after.. but during.. denial is your closest, dearest friend.

sweet sweet gentle denial. my one true sweetheart that has never let me down...

Hernesto G said...

Hey girlie! Listen up! One time me and my boy were at this bar scoping these major hotties. So we start talking to them, blah blah blah, he left the bar with one of them, I went home with my hand in my pocket. Long story short, the one he went home with was a TRANNY TRANSEXUAL FROM TRANSYLVANIA! Now he compulsively hooks up with trannies.