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You ever notice that someone's missing?

People come and go from our lives all the time....but do you ever notice, when one of those people, that special amazing one, isnt there anymore?

I had someone in my life, for a long time. We havent spoken in a bit, but I always knew where I could reach him.

Today, while watching Fight Club, I felt an unbelievable urge to call him....its been a while. But I called...and his number was disconnected...so I was going to leave a message on his pager, but that was disconnected too.

It was an overwhelming sense of sadness....Ive noticed his absense lately, and i missed him today terribly. I just wanna know what he's been up to...and that he's okay.

**UPDATE: I happened to find myself on messenger tonight, and a mutual friend of ours signed in, someone who I also havent spoken to in a while *coincidence??*....anyway, he messages me, and asks how im doing blah blah blah....

I have to ask....hows guy 1 doing...i havent been able to stop thinking about him for weeks...

guy 2 says hes okay....

I ask if guy 1's grandmother is still alive...guy 2 says "i dont think so..." (this explains why the number was disconnected...and confirms my worst assumption. After i found out his number was disconnected, it was the first thought that crossed my mind: The overwhelming sense of sadness I felt earlier)

Guy 1 is now living in a hotel somewhere with some friend of his, and is struggling. This breaks my heart, and I get very sad and teary. I went from wondering how he was doing, to wishing that I never asked...i was better not knowing

Guy 2 promises that if he sees Guy 1, that he will tell him that I want to talk to him, and that I miss him....guy 1 is so stubborn...im not holding my breath. But i'm hoping for a miracle.

Maybe my new years resolution should be to care less about everyone.

This isn't Christmas Weather!!!

As if going to Clevland a month ago wasnt enough...the itch of wanting to be somewhere else has set in once again, and this time is taking me back to Windsor/Detroit/Chicago.

As many of you know, I recently moved out of Windsor, back to the Kitters, to go to school...again.

But since I am exceedingly popular...and not at all modest...i'm headed back for 5 glorious days to do some serious visiting/drinking.

(Please dont confuse what i'm implying...Windsor is not glorious, by any means. But my break itself will be.)

Since I only work on the weekends, this turns out to be perfect timing, as I am completely finished school. I came out of the semester with 4 A's and one A-. (the minus sign makes me cringe...i was SO close to 4.0)...I deserve a much needed vacation. And since I have 5 days to do absolutely nothing, I might as well do absolutely nothing in another city with people I havent seen in months.

I've only breifly been to Chicago, so I havent had a chance to do much there...if anyone has any suggestions...i'll be more than happy to hear them.
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I'm kind of freaked out by the weather we're having....in October, there was that huge blizzard here 2 months before it usually starts snowing.

I said that maybe the environment is getting better...Now? Ya. Not so much. I dont know about you guys...but I require snow in the Winter.

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city...

I love big cities.

Love them.

I love the business, and the chaos. That nearly everything is open 24 hours. The people constantly wandering....there's always something going on, and things to do. The city makes me happy. Extrodinarily happy.

I espeically love Toronto. Its the closest big city to home.

I went to see Wicked last night, which I must say, is fantasitc. Its the story of the witches in the Wizard of Oz, and explains why they become good and evil, how the wicked witch turns green, how the tin man becomes the tin man etcetera etcetera....it is also a book.

Ya ya, I was exicted for the performance...but when I go to Toronto for the day, I am usually more excited about the little things that happen...the little things that remind me how much I love the city.

Like, yesterday, I went for a quick dinner with Jennifer, we sat and talked about how organizations like MADD and Children's Aid Society are in a lot of trouble for using donations for personal things like SUV's and vacations. MADD raised 12 million dollars in one year, and 19 cents from every dollar went to the charity. The rest went to paying for extravagencies....There is a shit load of controversy surrounding both organizations right now. MADD Says they have nothing to hide. If that is true, why are chapters of MADD closing?

After dinner, I met up with my friend who I was going to see Wicked with. She had not eaten, so we were cutting through a popular building on younge street, and who should walk by? This guy. He looks very old in person.

The lights in the city are amazing, and very colorful....it was a gorgeous night out last night, so walking everywhere was perfect.

However, the highlight of the evening came just as we made it to the doors of the theater. My very old friend Brad, and his fiance K, happened to be walking by at the exact moment that we stopped to get our tickets out for the show. I was so happy to see him, as it has been a very long LOOOONG time since we have had a chance to hang out. We're adults now...it sucks. Everyone's busy. Wicked was great...but seeing Brad was the best part of the night. I really missed that guy.

My farvorite thing about the city?? The way the steam coms up from the subway, and swirls across the streets at night.

The random moments of the city are what keep bringing me back....

Blogger Beta = The New form of Socialism??

I hate blogger beta. It wont let me into it's elitist club you know.

I tried to sign up. It rejected me...and my blog.

I try leaving comments on posts...but it wont even let me sign in. It remembers me from before I think.

For all of you, who've gained acceptance into this elite blogging community, i'll let you know, that I have been reading....but I cant sign in to leave comments....I'm stuck on the outside, with my face pressed to the glass...watching all the fun...

I want in...I want to be an elitist....

Someone put in a good word for me. :)

Blogger Confessional© Just because

It has been SO long since I have done one of these, I thought that i'd get one in just for good measure. Ive been so busy with school, that I havent had time to breathe, nevermind write utterly fascinating posts, but now that things have settled, its all good.

If you are new to Blogger Confessional©, please go back to the first one. All copywrite information is posted. LOL!

This week I:

- finished first semester....OH MY GOD...im done first semester of my Masters, and let me tell you, I talked to my professors TWICE about dropping out. It was more work then I have ever experienced. I have 2 undergraduate degrees, and one semester of my Masters was more work than both of them put together. But its done....

- found out that I made the Dean's List. I stayed up late, worked my ass off, almost dropped out two times...and it was all worth it. I got stragit A's this semester.

- Came to the conclusion that Ive got a substance abuse problem. Admitting it is the first step you know. Im addicted to h'orderves. Its sad, but true. I'd rather eat them, than anything else in the day. Walking by, without buying them is so hard when im grocery shopping. It takes all my will power. The word Moderation doesnt exist for me here. They're just so cute...all little, and yummy. I'd rather eat like 20 of them, and skip dinner all together.

- Have been playing Wii ALL week!!! Its getting ridiculous. Thank god all my homework is done, and the semester is finished because if I had played while I was still in semester work mode, I would have failed for sure. For those of you who are curious, Zelda, is Ridiculously hard. (And NO, im not one of those gamer nerds, video games are fun....those I can play in moderation. **Mike if you're reading, its hooked to the tv in the fam. If you want to get it, thats cool, but you have to grab a game for it at BB. Be cautious of the garage door. LOL

- went to a job fair for when im done my degree. There were a couple of international booths set up, and I talked to 2 ladies who hire for Dubai and England. They said they were looking to improve international work relations, and because I want to work with conduct kids, in correctional facilities, both said they can 95-100% guarantee me any job I want. Both asked for my resume. I didnt have them to give, but I think that they're worried I might change my mind. I wont. And I assured them that when I am done school, I am only looking to teach overseas. I emailed them both already....they have emailed back and said its almost 100% i'll have any job I want in either country for September. Now...All i need to do is research. Who's got information about London, and Dubai....im looking for personal experience, cost of living, everything. My email address is linked on the side bar.

AND because its christmas, I'm here to offer a little sacrilicious fun, yet again. I've got a one way ticket to hell. No return...No regrets. Phil's my moving buddy. Just click and drag:
The fast track to hell

Tuning in Tokyo.

I wanted to call my friend in Japan today.

I got his number out...

I have no idea how to call international phone numbers.

I was talking to Pete on MSN. Together, we were no better off....he didnt know either.

I dont know the order of how all those numbers are supposed to go.

I tried looking it up online. There were 2 suggestions. I tried one. It was an english answering service, that was telling me to delete one of the 0's that I was dialing.

I tried again. I got a girl's answering machine. It was definitely not english.

I called Miss Ash. Sleeping. I called Jenni....She's sleeping too.

I talked to Pete about how I called an Asian country, but I didnt know which one.

I tried again, deleting a different "0" the second time around.

Its late on the other side of the world. 9am here, 11pm there.

The second time, I got someone...they spoke very broken english. I asked what country I called....He didnt understand. I asked again, but slower. He said something...I think it was Turkey....But I guess i'll see when the phone bill comes in.

I gave up.

**UPDATE: I had to call Mexico last night. My parents are there, and I needed to photocopy my newest degree for my portfolio presentation today, and I dont know where my degree is. Anyway, I struggled with calling internationally again, and it took me about 10 minutes, but I finally got through.....

Reason #1734 why I dont like this time of year.

People.

Thats it. No fancy reason. I just dont like people. I mean, you guys are okay...well...Some of you are okay....but generally. I just dont like people.

Today hatred started in the parking lot, of Toys R Us. Im on the hunt to find a second Nintendo Wii controller, cause Wii only comes with one..and I have 2 neices...we dont want them fighting over it.

This girl, and her ogre of a boyfriend are walking through my parking spot after I turn into it. Im half way in the spot, but have to wait, and then they give me a dirty look.

I get into the store, and because I know how to walk, and not mosey like im the only person on Earth, I catch up to this couple, and right infront of me, the girl bends over to fix her boot, and her pants are half way down her ass, and her turquoise lace thong is hanging out for the entire store to see. Well, I saw for sure, and so did the dad and his 7 year old son behind us....We exchanged shocked looks....

So I do what anyone wou....No. Scratch that. Any straight male wouldnt do what I did. Let me rephrase.

The girl bends over, ass and thong hanging out....I say "EWWWW Your ASS is hanging out." She jumps up, and her boyfriend turns around to see who I was. Again...the dirty look. My Reply? "Pimp your girlfriend out on your own time buddy."...and went on my way.

For those of you who think im making this up, and think that I would never have the guts to say that in public to a total stranger, ask Ash to tell you about the time I told some lady to fuck off at the grocery store.

Black Friday Insanity

I can honestly say that ive never gotten up at 5:30 in the morning to go shopping, but I did....and it was worth every minute. Well, at first we said "this sucks..." but then LD found her jacket...and it all turned around after that point. :o)

Me and LD decided to go to the states for Black Friday, the Boxing Day for America. Can you believe they dont have boxing day!!!...but I di...Hm. Okay

Boxing Day: December 26th. Gigantic sales, lots of people shopping.
Black Friday: Friday after Yanksgiving, gigantic sales, kicks off holiday shopping hours, lots of people shopping.

If you live close enough to any international border (Canada and Yanks), I suggest you make it to the resepective country's shopping extravaganza.

Anyway....we crossed the border at about 6:30, and started our day....Ya ya...we did lots of shopping...no, we werent jostled by anyone, but there are 2 things I must discuss (becuase I totally have to ask).

1. HOME DEPOT JACKETS
What, is WITH these jackets? Seriously. We saw 2 people wearing them...they're big bright orange home depot jackets....there's just no words to explain them. Really. Someone help me out with this. Is it the newest cult's required uniform??

2. JESUS KMART
I have NOT been to Kmart in about 20 years, but it was in the shopping vicinity, and Kmart was one of our victims. We park and LD points out some bumper sticker that says "lovin' the lord" or something like that.....Of course, she's wearing her devil t-shirt that says "God's busy, how can I help you"....Annnnnd of course I've just bought my "One Way ticket to hell: No returns, no regrets" t-shirt.

We go inside, first thing LD picks up? Right. The pocket Bible....pocket bible? Seriously? I wish I had a picture to show you guys of how big this thing was....but there's no way it would fit in anyone's pocket. Suitcase, yes. Pocket, no.....and then of course onto the movie/cd section where we saw "Bible songs for Kids". Thats when we left, but im totally positive if I had looked I would have found my Jesus clock there for sale.

Regardless, Black Friday was a lot of fun. Getting up at 5:30, no problem. I acutally jumped out of bed 10 minutes before my alarm went off I was so excited.....but, after shopping all day, and then having to go to work from 2:30-11:30....not so fun. I didnt even have time to sit and look at the things that I bought. Ya, I do that. Especially after a successful shopping day.

Sigh of Relief...3 weeks to go.

I just submitted a GIGANTIC assignment online that is due tomorrow. Except when I went to go submit it, I saw an email from our prof, who, at 5pm today, changed the due date from tomorrow at 9am, to Saturday at 9am. *thats a huge piss off....im sick, and would have laid in bed all day if I had checked my school email before I started finishing it at 5pm*...Ironic, its the same time she sent the email.

BUT its done. It was a huge assignment. My Annotated Bibliography for my thesis....yikes....21 pages people. TWENTY ONE PAGES for an annotated bibliography. Thats not even any of my assignment, those 21 pages were just the ten sources im using....crap...im SO happy its done, AND who cares that its not due until Saturday, mine's done, and gone. And im relieved.

Now, with that assignment behind me, I only have about 10 more to go in the next 3 weeks of class. (But considering I only have 4 more days of class in the upcoming 3 weeks, id say thats a lot.)...I can get it done....Im so excited...the end of the semester is SO close....

Blogger Confessional© The Truth.

I went to volunteer today in my first classroom with Miss Ash's sister.

Well, thats not technically true. I worked from September to June (2004-2005) in the classrooms at the mental institution in MA.

So...let me rephrase.

Today, I went to volunteer in my first classroom that didnt have kids with conduct disorder, mental illness, or crisis situations every 5 seconds. It was sorta fun.

I wasnt sure that I wanted to be a teacher up until this point, but I assure you, its a lot more fun than I imagined it was going to be, and for that, I am thankful....because I cant imagine working in a job I hate. SO...it was a nice surprise.

Gummi Bears and Jesus

A day ive truely waited for, for like 18 years.....Gummi Bears has been released on DVD. I know we have discussed awesome 80's cartoons a million times here in the past, but this one was my favorite, and I went out and bought it for myself. I watched the first episode last night, and it was just as good as I remember...
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As for the Jesus Clock. The resident who gave it to me was kicked out of our shelter for threatening behavior....and when its a crisis house for abused women and children, that kind of stuff is really something that isnt tolerated. It was her like 3rd chance to change her attitude...but she refused...But I digress.

I dont have to give the Jesus Clock back, and was thinking of doing a little Pessimism Inc© Blogger Giveaway......maybe. I told Miss Ash that I was thinking of doing this, and she laughed and said that it was a great idea....Maybe thats just us. We thought it was hilarious....Who thinks what?

Oh..and Ash. If no one wants it....you get to have it. :o)

My Top 5

With my 29th birthday now behind me, and having gone to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, quasi-spontaneously, I was prompted to consider my top 5 favorite songs of all time. Its something me and LD discussed on the drive back, and it really made me think.

In no particular order:

Kate Bush - Running up that Hill
Pink Floyd - Wish you were Here
Peter Gabriel - Steam
Sade - By your Side
John Lennon - Instant Karma

So...come on. Tell me...I wanna know.

Birthday Wrap-up

Okay...So I thought skipping my birthday would be a lot better this year, seeing as everyone was going to be busy, or away *except for my lovely LD and H*, and I had to work the entire weekend...but it actually turned out to be a pretty good time.

Friday, I spent the day shopping with a friend of mine in Toronto. She's a cop, so she's usually pretty busy...but we had the same day off, so we hung out....And she ended up meeting this gorgeous guy, and on the way home she thanked me for my big mouth and sociability. She said that if I wasnt there, she never would have had the guts to start up a random conversation with him like I seemingly do with every stranger I meet....

Sunday (My actual b-day) Miss Ash's mom and sister came and brought me flowers, candy, and balloons...SO CUTE!!! They wanted to take me out for dinner, but I was working, so they came down instead. Love that! They brought me roses.


When I got home, there was another bouquet of gerber daisies sitting on the counter from my kick ass neighbors. They're in my bedroom, I didnt want to carry them down, but trust me, they're awesome!

I go to work Sunday, the residents at the shelter know its my birthday...one of them decides to get me a gift......I dont know what has posessed her to do so...but this is what she came up with.

Now, Incase you arent sure you're seeing it right, or cant quite make out what it is....Its a large picture of Jesus....with a tiny little clock on the bottom right corner.....Thats right. She bought me a Jesus clock. The picture was hard to take, because of the mirror frame around the picture. (I imagine your blank stares, are similar to what mine were, and are still now)...I dont know if I can keep it. It might create a conflict of interest. I put a memo in to my PM....she'll let me know.

After the Jesus Clock...I wasnt sure how my week could have possibly gotten better *ahem*, but LD and I decided, very spontaneously, to make the drive to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Clevland, OH. It's only about a 3 and a half hour drive from here....and It was SOOOO totally worth every minute. They have The Clash exhibit on now until April...if you are a Clash fan(like me and LD totally are), you dont want to miss it.

I cant even explain the Pink Floyd display...but if you are a fan, and love them from the depths of your insides (like LD and I do), I promise you, you wont be disappointed. It was so incredible.....

Just things like Janis Joplin's Porche, John Lennon's glasses, original hand written song lyrics, the deed to Graceland. It was incredible, and gave me a total new appreciation for the bands I already loved, and music in general. We werent allowed to take pictures inside, but it was an amazing day, and i recomend it to everyone.

Blogger Confessional© Another year come and gone...

Sigh...29.

A whole lot of redneck fun

I was supposed to blog about a whole bunch of funny redneck stuff after a lengthy conversation with someone who lives in Georgia...but I cant remember what any of it was. I think that I was so horrified by the concepts that I was learning about, that my brain immediately blocked them all out.

Except dipping.

Shoving tobacco into your mouth, and like...sucking on it. And as if that wasnt bad enough, people have to spit the black tar out into cups that they constantly carry around with them. I cant even BEGIN to imagine what that would smell like....a cup, just for spit.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this sounds incredibly sexy??

Here's to Devil's Night..My New Favorite Hahliday

Seeing as its the season for scary, i'll be perfectly honest. Aside from fish, burning to death, compound fractures and worms.....These dolls, scare the shit out of me. I cant even have them near me. Im always watching out of the corner of my eye becuase Im half expecting them to come to life....*shudder*


**I'll be impressed if anyone can guess what movie the title of this post comes from.

Dance your cares away *clap clap*

Oh happy of all happy days...i almost peed my pants.

Fraggle Rock' to be made into movie

POSTED: 10:58 a.m. EDT, October 20, 2006

LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- Jim Henson's "Fraggle Rock" is coming to the big screen.

The 1980s cult hit TV show is being developed by Ahmet Zappa -- younger son of Frank Zappa -- into a full-length live-action musical fantasy starring the classic characters.

"(Zappa) recently created his own fantasy property ('Mighty McFearless'), and we had him in to talk about books and movies," said Lisa Henson, who serves as co-CEO of the Jim Henson Co. with her brother, Brian.

"During that conversation, I had an intuition that he might be a 'Fraggle Rock' fan. He jumped out of his seat when he heard our idea of making 'Fraggle Rock' into a feature-length movie."

Zappa -- a musician and TV personality who will serve as the project's executive producer -- is developing a treatment in which puppet stars Gobo, Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red will travel from beneath the Rock and venture into the human world for the first time.

"The Fraggles didn't really get into the human world on the series, so we plan to make the movie more about the intersection between the Fraggles and the humans," Lisa Henson said.

Zappa is informally talking to musician friends about writing original songs for the movie. The original Henson puppets will be refurbished and updated for the film, with little expectation of computer-generated enhancements.

A release date has yet to be determined. Lisa Henson plans to hire a screenwriter and director once an initial treatment is completed.

"We're taking the movie as far as we can independently because the company has a big personal investment in how the movie turns out," she said.

"Fraggle Rock" premiered on HBO in 1983 and over five seasons garnered multiple awards and a global fan following. The show was created by Jim Henson as an international co-production and was adapted for each territory to meet the needs of its audience.

Being Accosted, and Avoiding it at all Costs

Okay...so i'll fully admit that im a bit of a dummy around guys, and generally have no clue that they are hitting on me, but sometimes...theres always that one. The one that's so obvious, its actually quite frightening. I met such a man this past Sunday. (Sunday, even before I stepped on the snake)

I have to get gas. Monty *thats my car* is running on fumes, and is decidedly hungry.

I go in to pay, and the guy inside strikes up general conversation while I am paying. He asks about what I am doing the rest of the day, as he gets off work in less than an hour, and doesnt really have any plans (Of course that means its a good idea to ask a stranger what they are doing)

I tell him that I am going to Brock (local university) to get some homework done. He looks shocked by this...and says

Gas Man: "You're still in school???" (quite obviously shocked)
Me: "Uhhh....(pause)....yeah?"
Gas Man: "You're not married?" (I have little idea of how the two are related)
Me: "......(pause first this time)....Uhh....No?"
Gas Man: "A pretty thing like you? What are you studying?"
Me: "Erm...education?"
Gas Man: "Ohhh kids. I want kids. Do you have any kids?"
Me: (This time, I say nothing, just stare)
Gas Man: "What, you dont have kids? Dont you want any kids? You'd have beautiful children, I think you should have them. You'd really like them, plus they'd be beautiful"
Me: (rushing to get my things into my purse waiting for my transaction to go through, and unable to look at this man any longer)....I dont really like kids
Gas Man: (Laughs)...you are an interesting woman. You dont like kids, but you're in education. Why dont you want kids? Your children would be beautiful. I want kids. Why dont you?"
Me: "uhh....i dont know?"
Gas Man: "i'd like to sit down and talk to you about this more....you're an interesting beautiful woman"
**Transaction goes through finally. I had to do it twice, which didnt help matters**
Me: "ohh....uhh...ya. No, I dont think so. Bye"

I go back to my car, where I have someone waiting...

S: "What took you so long"
**I told him this story
S:"tsk tsk....5 date Challenge!!!"
Me: (I gave him the slit eye) Shut. Up.

True Story.

Violated...Absolutely Violated.

I stepped on a snake. *shiver...and shiver again*

So, im a bloody procrastinator. I'll admit it. Its really an artform you know. Ive known about an essay that I have due tomorrow morning, for about a week, but I had 5 other assignments to do, and this one took last priority. However, once school was cancelled yesterday and today, I spent all day at the local university doing research.

Today, I had my neices, and didnt have time to do anything, so I resolved to myself that I would quit talking to Jennifer, and get my ass to the library to do some work.

I grab all my stuff, and head out the door. It has been raining all day, and our front door is inside of a little archway. *minus the arch*....well, I didnt look as I stepped out the door, I mean, what could Possibly be waiting there for me on the concrete.....except there was a snake, all coiled up, to get dry I can only assume.

Im a bit of a feet shuffler...not my entire foot, just my heels. So of course, when I stepped on this thing, i dragged my heel across the groud, and noticed immediately that it was a different consistency than solid concrete that I was stepping on, and looked down, only to see this poor snake being rolled across the front step under my heel.

Im not afraid of snakes, and never have been (but im afraid of worms), and im sure the snake wasnt that big, but my brains estimation of what it actually looked like is exaggerated im sure. But I assure you, I must have looked like an idiot dancing around my front yard, trying to shake the creepy feeling of knowing you have just stepped on something that wasnt supposed to be stepped on.

Poor thing. It slithered away while I was grossed out on the front yard, and I only caught a quick glimpse of it, but it was albino for sure.....

Blogger Confessional© All work and No play....blah blah blah

Ive never been so busy in my entire life. And as much as I had nothing to do, now, im that busy.....its insanity really....but, im not complaining.

This week I:

- Actually danced around with my neices when I found out school was cancelled because of the snow. School tomorrow and tuesday is cancelled, and i couldnt be happier. I was supposed to do a math presentation tomorrow...im ready for it, but i hate math. I know I have to do it eventually, but id like another bit to work on it.

- Cut these leaves off a tree outside. When I let go of the tree, there were 4 spiders on me. Three on one arm, one on the other.

- Watched the first ever horror movie awards, they were called the "scream awards". The devils rejects was voted best movie...i couldnt agree more. Hopefully this will sway those of you who have not seen it yet, to get out there and watch it. It was fantastic

- Had a bitchy thanksgiving with my family.....and I can always be meaner to the idiots in my family, but I was pretty bitchy.

- Applied for a new position at work, and got it. So, ive just increased my hours, which is why im so busy. If im not at school, im working, or doing homework. That has become my life....its good that i make so much, and have a lot to do...but it would be nice to not have so much routine.

- Reconsidered Florida. I am sure that I am not going, but I would like to go somewhere...I dont know what im going to do, but I only have about 3 days to decide.

- Was told about the new movie "Death of a President"....make sure you watch this preview. Unless you are an evil republican. This movie looks amazing.

A tragic tale of injured drummers....

...or so they told us was the reason the Scissor Sisters lunchtime performance was cancelled. Yup, thats right. We drove all the way to Toronto, LD took the day off work, we got up early...only to be sitting on the steps of the Masonic temple, to have one of the production guys come out, and tell us that it was cancelled. Apparently, the drummer injured himself. He didnt say how.

Production guy says that MTV emailed everyone who had tickets, on Saturday to let them know. This is a great policy....except our tickets were under my brother in laws name...he works there, he got them for us, so we didnt get an email.

No one told us....He called my cell phone at 11:48am. 12 minutes before the show.....He said he had just gotten the email, but we already knew....

We ended up at Retro Fun. A VERY cool store that has toys from like the 50's...you know, collectables...we go in for nostalgic reasons, but the first time we went, we saw that they sold original trading cards, and they still had the gum inside!!! To name a few, they had New Kids on the Block, Mork and Mindy, Monkees, Gremlins, all the Jaws ones, Star Wars, and the most important...Wacky Packs. How many people remember Those?? We almost DIED when we saw them there. Too fun.

After that, we went to Starbucks. I ordered my Hazlenut steamer, and instead of making me wait for it, they handed it to me at the cash register, and walked away....and didnt make me pay for it. I figure i've put enough money into that company...they owe me by now for sure! (I apologize to those of you who may work, or own a part of Starbucks, for not giving my $3.21 to your multibillion dollar organization. Hire more efficient employees.)

So, all in all, a bad day to start, but at least my Steamer was free. :)

Blogger Confessional© Cheers. To Evil.

As we are approaching the spooky season *and my birthday*, there is an increase in spooktacualr events going on...however, finding people to join in on the fun is proving to be difficult.

North Korea Has launched a Nuclear Weapon undergroud. They said it was just a test missile...but you know what? I still feel sick over it.

**Because Miss Ash asked...here it is, in all of its Evil glory. Halloween Dress Up Jesus (I am immediately reminded of when I posted this at Easter, and there was the Darth Vader outfit, and the Sexy Suburbanite said "I remember when Darth Vader died for our sins." Anytime I think of religion, or its brought up in debate, I think of Darth Vader dying for our sins, and I laugh out loud....like right now. :)

This week I:
- Worked. I LOVE my job....and I LOVE how much they're paying me.

- Watched the entire first season of Queer as Folk. Again. What a great show. And, yes, I still cry everytime I watch the last episode from that season. So sad...and not like happy sad...like rip your heart out kill your puppy sad. If its any indication how rare I watch tv, i'll give you an example. The last time I loved a show this much, was Melrose Place...LOL. So when I like something like this, I love it. Its a really good show.

- Me and LD took my 4 and 5 year old neices and her 5 and 9 year old nephews to the movies last night. It reminded me of why I dont have children, and never want them. They werent bad, or anything, but its more a matter of selfishness. Ive realized that its not that I hate children, but im much too greedy. I want all my money for me. Kids are fucking expensive.

- Was emailed a website where they have Christian pumpkin stencils. Christian pumpkin stencils. Christian....Halloween....someone help me out with this one.

- Am DYING to go see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No one will go with me. Jennifer had this to say about going :

me: I want to go see the texas chainsaw masacre tonight
Jennifer: have fun with that
me: you dont wanna go....COME ON.
Jennifer: i get scared by horror in a bad way
me: Jennifer..its just the magic of hollywood
Jennifer: scary
me: its make up.
make up is scary?
Jennifer: yeah
me: you're afraid of make up?
Jennifer: yep
fraidy cat
me: im posting this on my blog

We, as a group, have a rule when it comes to movies. If you want to see something that I dont, you have to pay for me to go, and same goes for me. If I want someone to go see this with me, i'll most likely have to take them, but it will be totally worth it.....

- Ive decided to skip my birthday this year. My entire family is going to florida, and now Ash Jenni and D are going to Togo. N just booked his ticket to Austraila. H is in Tokyo, Heather is working, T is working, and has some prewedding function for someone I dont know *and pisser becuase his b-day is the day before mine...and he's busy!!!* B&K wont come down if tim's not here. That leaves LD. Shes the only one here who's not working, and available for the entire weekend. It's a lot of responsibility to put an entire b-day weekend on one person. BUT we're planning something fun...

Happy t.giving canada....

It's my ball, and i'm going home. Hm.

Is it wierd to anyone else, that adults still find ways to tell on one another?....except when you're an adult, its not so much telling, but more, complaining about. (although technically, they're the same thing)

I was at work yesterday, and a woman comes into the office, and starts to go on and on about laundry, and that so and so left it rolled up in a ball on her bed....you know. Stuff you would just roll your eyes over. Conveniently, the woman who left her laundry had been discharged that same day, so there was no confrontation over it...although that would have been funny.

And when you're a kid, they're called chores...but when you're an adult, they're called errands, and life.

How I long for the days when m&m's were more important to me than money.
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On a side note: Rawbean posted about people who she would like to meet....but when I read it, I thought the opposite. So this is my question to you. Is there someone on your bloglist who you think you would absolutely loathe in person? You read their blog out of habit...not because you think it's interesting?....You find that as much as you know about who they are...you absolutely know 100% that if you met them, you would hate them.

Blogger Confessional© Spicoli can't handle his booze.....

...or whoever the guy was who we dubbed "Spicoli". Worst part? He was so young, he didnt even know who that was....sigh.

Anyway, me and LD hit the town this weekend, and found ourselves, as we usually do, in the mst random of circumstances. Last time it was just me and her, it was the "Neon Rider" "Mr. Morphene" and "Tha avian bird flu guy". This time...it was Spicoli.

My family was having a shindig at the house, which is common around here. (they cant seem to get enough of one another) I invited LD over, and as she GRACIOUSLY WONDERFULLY helps me finish my homework assignments, we decide to go see School for Scoundrels. Which I might add is good for a giggle, and explained a LOT about why most men are jerks. Me and LD have decided that when girls and boys hit grade 9, and they separate them for gym class, this is what they are teaching them....why else do we need to be divided???

And it would explain why most guys have a jerky tendancy from the age of 14 on....but I digress.

So we go see this movie, and we head over to a bar to sit down and have a drink. Its already after midnight, and a bit cold, so i dont figure we'll stay long....but we get our drinks, and head outside to the patio, to enjoy one of the last few nice nights of the year.

But before we do, these 3 young cuties come into the bar, and when the bartender asks them for id, they were born in 1987...which hurts...but whatev...im sure someone thought that about us at one point.

So we venture outside, and these 3 follow shortly after. They have a friend come meet them, who is equally adorable, and while we all strike up general conversation, Spicoli falls asleep on the table.

A couple of these cuties were from the Cayman Islands, and Spicoli had this impossible accent. At one point, I wasnt sure he was even speaking english....but we all managed to talk, and laugh until like 2:30. Two of them were horribly distressed about girls, and asking for advice. It was rather enjoyable, and a good night.

I just wanted to throw something down, this post is shit...but I have 5 assignments due this week, you wont get much more out of me than this.

Blogger Confessional© So much for not having anything to do

What an amazingly crazy busy week this week....

This week I:

- Ran into a guy that I went to highschool with. I havent seen him probably 11 years. Anyway, he was one of those guys that had a ridiculous crush on me, and I, of course, ignored him. When he saw me, he did a double take, and his eyes almost bugged out of his head. I didnt talk to him...but he looked good. REALLY good. Why is that always the way it happens? I should have at least said hi..but I had nothing to say.

- Did ridiculous amounts of policy and procedue for work....BUT I found out how much I was making, and i am EXTREMELY happy.

- Saw the bear in the big blue house on tv while my neices were over. You ever have that feeling when you see something, and you slam your eyes shut, and put your hands over them anyway...and automatically feel your skin crawling...Ya. That happened, plus I got all teary over it. The bear in the big blue house might be the only thing on earth that scares me....like REALLY scares me.

- Read about the band "Prussian Blue" on Amichai's blog. I know that not all of you read his blog (although you really should), but I totally thought that this was something work passing on. Its 2007 almost. I cant believe that this kind of racism still exists....and I cant believe these kids are SO young to be singing about such hatred...nauseating.

- Was going to take a picture of my earrings, actually in (cause Natalia asked me to), but I am a total sissy about pain, and stretching my ears to accomodate my earrings, REALLY hurts. So if I take a picture, it will be when I get up enough guts to get the next gauge actually in. I'll be proud.

- Am not really a radio listener, but something was wrong with the CD player in my car today, so I had the radio on. The new Supernova song was on the radio today. I was totally excited about hearing it.

- Found an old box of my stuff in the basement....and came across this. LOL!!! Remember these?? On the back, they had all these states about the person, like bday, and height. Every single guy on this sheet was born before 1972. Which means, all of the guys we used to drool over, are almost 40. HAHAHA

I have NO idea why I saved it...i was probably going to give it to Miss Ash. I remember one time she sent me a picture of joe mcintyre...we're losers. And I dont care.

Happy weekend Everyone.

The New Job and The Scissor Sisters.

So I got a new job...at a women's crisis shelter that takes in women (and their children) who are leaving abusive relationships.

I have to miss my 2 days of school this week for training, but so far its been poilicy and procedure bullshit, and stupid boring. Especially when she gives us the manual, and just reads out of it. But, its important enough I suppose.

Anyway, I know this sucks as a post, but between all the work im doing for school, and now this. Im silently praying that everynight someone will call me and help me procrastinate.
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And if you're interested The Scissor Sisters are performing at MTV live on Tuesday October 10th. However, LD, remember when I called you and said "If I only read the email...." Well ya, there was more email after the bit that I read to you. LOL (let me assure you that I had never heard of this band until last night. Go listen to filthy gorgeous...its awesome.)

Anyway, this one's a little different.

Special Lunchtime Performance of the Scissor Sisters @ MTV Live! Tuesday October 10th. Show up at 11:30 at the Masonic Temple @ 888 younge street, toronto.

For FREE tickets to MTV Live call (416) 355-3979, toll free 1-888-491-6888
or send an e-mail to liveaudience@mtv.ca.

I guess whats going to happen, is that they're going to perform at lunch time, and then they'll play the show online at 6:30. I dunno....the B.I.L is going to send me the info, but he's got us 6 tickets.

Thank god Im off school that day...there'd be no way that I could take the entire day to go to this. If you're going, i'll see you there.

Here's to the things I like

*I dont know if you can all see the updates on my blog, only Linny and Phil have said that everything looks all wonky. Its fine on my computer. So if you cant see my blog, as it is supposed to be, let me know...i'm trying to learn to fix the settings. (my ex did it for me the last time, and this time, I have NO clue what im doing)

I Like:

The Convenience of Youtube. If you did NOT see this on the news, or read about it in the paper, come on out from the rock that you are living under....and go watch. Hugo Chavez on Fox News

Bubble Tea. Well, specifically...I like the Mango Ice Crush LOADED with tapioca...such a chewy treat while you're drinking. Usually, I do NOT like floaties in my drink. This is the only exception.




My New Earrings. I do NOT like the pain associated with stretching my earholes to accomodate them. However, now that that's done, they look fantastic, and it will be a long time before I decide to go up a gauge.


Astro Pops. The original ones, from when I was a kid...the kind with the wax on the bottom that you had to bite through to get the rest of the candy...and the stick was on the bottom. I do NOT like, how they've reinvented these, taken away the wax, and put the stick on the pointy part, so you're starting at the bottom and working your way to the point.

Industrial/Alternative Music
Bands that produce songs, that someone I know, would refer to as "Angry Boy Music"...its great to drive to.

Bath and Body works Aromatherapy Remedies: Headache Relief. This stuff is amazing, and its full of those little cooling beads, so when you rub it on the back of your neck, it chills everything and gets rid of your headache.


History. Actually Classical Roman, Greek and Egyptian History and Civilizations was my minor in university. I didnt know that I liked history...but its sorta cool. People were really mean back then. And its interesting to learn where modern day traditions originated....like Christmas. Go look up Sol Invictus...it's an interesting read.

It's a Brand New Day!!

I'm remodelling...it's almost halloween. Things have to be creepier around here. And YES, I am fully aware that I have a pet on my page now...just like Miss Ash. HOWEVER, she would never have a spider...I felt I had to give it a home. (although, the tiger?? Ya, to die for cute)

It reminded me of my poor baby tarantula, Sebastian, who I shared as a pet for a while. He was mine, but lived elsewhere because everyone was too freaked out by him. He met his death when someone thought he was biting their hand, but he actually just dropped a cricket head on it, and they threw him across the room. He exploded.

So, I figure since I have to wait for my own place...this is the next best thing.

Apparently some people are having problems seeing the updates, leave me a comment if its all stupid. I did it myself, so all I could do was cross my fingers.

Movie Etiquette

I have to say, that me and LD spent a lot of time together this weekend. Friday we were out, being harassed, and of course, quizzed on chemistry (Accompanying eye roll), but on Saturday, we went to see The Last Kiss, the new Zach Braff movie.

I was a huge fan of Garden State, and although I dont think that he is remotely attractive, I have to give credit where credit is due....This movie was fantastic. The people who read this blog are, for the most part, in the same age demographic, and i think, most of you would find this movie wonderfully entertaining. However, in this, most recent, movie viewing experience, there were a group of 4, maybe 16 year olds, that were there to make the night less enjoyable, but memorable for sure.

As a general rule, i've decided that I hate (almost) everyone under the age of 20. They're annoying, and just plain fucking stupid. I know, I was once -20 years old, but I dont EVER remember being as stupid, or annoying as they are today. Which might be a definite sign of getting older, complaining about kids these days. But I digress.

These 4 kids, 3 girls, and one boy with the "Emo" haircut, that makes him look like a girl, were sitting 2 seats over from me....Talking, the entire movie on their cell phones, and to each other. Loudly.

And as I sat there, and eat my Skor bites (something I shouldnt have had, but had taken benadryl..so felt safe), I warned LD, that I was more than ready to throw one at them...Well, throw is too polite of a word...more like catapult. But refrained from doing so....

Until I had one in my hand, and before I even realized what I was doing, I threw this little Skor bite, as quickly, and forcefully as I could at this group of kids. I didnt even realize that I had thrown it...it was just so automatic, and such an immediate impulse move, that even I was shocked. One of them said "Someone just threw that at me"...which is when we started to laugh, of course quietly between us...but it was just so automatic, I honestly didnt even realize that I had done it until it was way too late.

They continue to talk, and in the sweetest voice I can manage, I say "Can you seriously shut up?? THAAAAANKS."

I have never been afraid to stand up for myself, or tell people off, for any reason, but I, personally cant believe I actually threw candy at them. Miss Ash was horrified....she says throwing Skor bites is bad, because they're too good to waste. They're one of her favorites...incase you were wondering.

At least we're not Ugly Mother fuckers......

I dont even know where to start this post to be perectly honest...but I guess we'll start at the beginning

Me and LD decide to hit up the Honest Lawyer for a couple of drinks last night

We stand at the bar for about a couple of miutes, no one serves us...so we decide to go outside and get a table and let a waitress get our drinks. We sit out there for about 10 minutes...the waitress walks by but doesnt ask us if we want anything....THIS should have been our second sign to leave, after not being served inside.

But we stay, and within 2 minutes, a guy who LD has dubbed "The Neon Rider" comes over to our table and says "can i sit here?" and proceeds to sit down, without either one of us saying yes. He is obviously drunk, is wearing a neon orange shirt (which I point out, and say that I havent seen anyone wearing neon since the late 80's), and LD gets up and goes inside to get our drinks, because still no one has come along. I still hate her for this.

I am glaring at the bouncer for help, and he sees me, but just laughs and shakes his head. As does everyone else who walks by and looks at our table. Me and LD are looking at eachother, biting the insides of our cheeks trying not to laugh. I can always be ruder, but I was pretty rude to this guy, especially when he asked us if we were nymphomaniacs, out looking for a good time Tonight was the first night where I actually felt obligated to give a fake name. After about 40 long minutes of us not being able to say "go away", he did just that. And we didnt see him again.

HOWEVER, not even 5 minutes later, 2 other guys ask if they can join us, and immediately engage us in conversation. Both had their Phd's in Chemistry, which is quite amazing. (One makes morphine for a living, the other makes the antidote for the bird flu)

Mr. Morphine dominates the conversation, and Bird Flu Antidote goes back inside. Mr. Norphine teaches us about cranberry juice, dalmations, and volcanos (dont ask)...Oh, and doing card tricks without the cards (although I was mildly impressed with that). I ask if he feels that he has been dominating the conversation, and he says that when he sits down with 2 attractive girls, that he can either talk, or not talk...which is true, but he was really honestly giving us a chemistry test. And when we didnt know the answers, he was more than disappointed.

Bird Flu Antidote comes back out, and Mr. Morphine goes in. B.F.A. might have been the most dramatic person, and said that his girfriend is going to hate him for talking to us, even though he only talked about chemistry, and his girlfriend. He threw his head into his hands about a dozen times, and was groaning about how his g/f was going to be pissed. Apparently, if we werent so attractive, and were ugly mother fuckers, she wouldnt be....

Mr. Morphine comes back out, says in a really rude way "can I talk to you for a second"....they leave, someone asks if we are using the chairs, LD and I, at the same time say "NO!! PLEASE take them...take them both!!!"

We were at the bar for 2 and a half hours maybe...and by ourselves for about 15 mintues of that...so much for having a quiet evening to talk, and relax.

Reason #1286739579 im single.

**B.I.L warning....I wouldnt go much further than this....

Ive decided to drop out of the 5 date challenge. 1. because im not a dater, and 2. because I am SO sick of guys....that i think I want to forget they even exist, at least for a while.

Allow me to set the scene. I come to my computer after countless hours of being where ever, and an old fling of mine from Windsor leaves me a message telling me to go to a city near Windsor for the weekend....approximately 3 or so hours from here.....This is the conversation that follows.

Pessimism Inc © says:

Were you in Sarnia this weekend?

flemdog4 says:

no i wanted you to meet my buddy, show him a good time

Pessimism Inc © says:

WHAT?

Pessimism Inc © says:

You wanted me to go to sarnia, and meet a total stranger, to fuck him??

flemdog4 says:

sure it was his b-day

Pessimism Inc © says:

You guys actually discussed me going down there

flemdog4 says:

but you werent around

Pessimism Inc © says:

Are you MENTAL

Pessimism Inc © says:

like for real, are you?

flemdog4 says:

hahaahah he waspumped

Pessimism Inc © says:

Are you for real, like fucking mental??

flemdog4 says:

relax killer

Pessimism Inc © says:

what would even posess you to DO something like that?

Pessimism Inc © says:

did you seriously think that Id be up for that?

flemdog4 says:

sure why not

Pessimism Inc © says:

but is that what you really think i'm like?

flemdog4 says:

nah

flemdog4 says:

but i thought id give it a shot for him

Pessimism Inc © says:

you're ridiculous.

flemdog4 says:

hahaha

Pessimism Inc © says:

thats not really funny.... You're a fucking loser...you realize that dont you?? Like a real loser...

flemdog4 says:

who cares

Pessimism Inc © says:
you realize that you're the reason im single.... guys like you

Pessimism Inc © says:
i dont know how to talk to you, so im going

flemdog4 says:

so is this the end of us then

Pessimism Inc © says:

uhh.....it was the end a LONG time ago

Pessimism Inc © says:

where have you been?

flemdog4 says:

sleeping

flemdog4 says:

allthe time

Pessimism Inc © says:

Clearly

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Well....If there is any question as to why i refuse to go out with anyone, I think that THIS is a good understanding as to why....I know that all guys arent like this....but im finding it harder and harder not to meet up with them....sigh.

Blogger Confessional© Crazy crazy week.

I know im doing this early, but I figure that since I was very busy, that by all laws of balancing and rationality, nothing else major should happen this week. So i figure im safe in posting, however, if something comes up, i'll let you know.

This week I:

- wanted to watch every horror movie I owned...its that time of year you know...looking forward to late nights and creepy movies.

- gave myself, and my 18 year old male cousin, a facial. He was less than impressed.

- Had my first day of class...ONE Masters course is the equivalent of 2 and a half undergrad courses (workload wise). Its INSANE, I cant believe how much work there is....Regardless, i think i'm staying in it, and there's a guy in my class who looks like Christian Bale. Actually, I blogged about him before, he was the one I met in June, at registration...He's a total sweetheart, and so witty and charming...sigh. He's delightful.

- Managed to find 3 of my 5 required text books at the local university library. Thank god...

- Found out that I can no longer go on my trip to florida this november for my birthday. If I miss one class, I automatically lose 6% of my final grade. Which is insane. And i have assignments due the week that I would be gone, not to mention, Id be losing out on about 10 days of actually doing work. Cause, lets face it, there's no way i'd bring homework to the beach. So im not going....Which leaves me with a ticket, that is good for anywhere in the states within the next year. Any suggestions???

- Went out last night with Ash and LD. We meet up with a guy LD works with, and i invite him to sit down....he is staring lovingly at LD, so I text ash (who's across the table) and say "Lets talk about the 5 date challenge, i bet he'd ask her out!!!" So I bring it up and inform him of the rules, letting him know that she is committed to going out with who asks her. He looks at me and says "Oh ya?" I say "Uh huh...go ahead, ask her out..." So he did. They're date is this coming friday. He seems like a decent guy.

- I am currently mourning the loss of my most fabulous purse.....Let it be known that just because something costs a lot, doesnt guarantee its quality.

R.I.P. Miu Miu
May 26, 2006 - September 7, 2006


- After I posted this, I decided to go to the drive in. Went to see Crank, and The Descent. If you are interested in either of these, please do yourself a favor and wait until they are released on DVD....

- And I set up a blog for my friend Tim. If you ever run across his blog, I apologize in advance.

Le Random MishMash

First day of school...sigh. Its going to be a LOT of work. HOWEVER, I did talk to academic advisory, and since I dont want to be a teacher, but would rather teach primary skills to adult inmates, or at a youth correctional facility...they think i'm on the right path, but have advised me to go to class monday, and see how it goes then, and then come back to talk to them at the end of the day...we'll see I guess.
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You ever have a HUGE secret? Like I mean, SO gargantuan...that you feel like you're busting at the seams, dying to tell everyone? I have one like that. But, above all else, I take great pride in my level of confidentiality, and just wanted to share that I did have a secret like that, even though I wont say what it is. So, dont bother asking, I wont tell. But i've got a HUGE one, and it's a goody.
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If you had the option of explroing the deeptest depths of the sea, the farthest reaches of outerspace, or the darkest of dark forests, what would you be more inclined to look for? Mermaids/Lochness/Atlantis, Aliens, or Unicorns/Sasquatch/Leprauchans? And why.

Blogger Confessional© Mackers and Boots

This week I:

- Crossed the river again to go pay my installment of tuition. I went with my mom, since I had no idea where my school was, I told her not to mention that I was a foreign student at the bridge. So when she said that we were going to pay my tuition, they pulled us over. We sat in imigration for half hour waiting for them to yell at me for not having all my documentation and threaten to deny me access to the country...Whoppee....big loss. No one thought I was a celebrity this time, but there was a George Bush conference on, something about anti terrorism...It made me sick to have to sit in that room listening to that idiot, who was the direct reason that I was sitting in there to begin with. (A big hello to all the FBI agents probably reading this blog right about now...leave a comment!!)

- Had Jenni down for the weekend, for some good old fashioned sleep overs. Her cousins were also with her, one from Australia, and one from New Zealand. Their accents were enough to keep me entertained for three days, that, and the fact that they call McDonalds "Mackers", and the trunk of a car "the boot"....They were wonderfully nice, and I'm glad they came. We took them to do every touristy thing that we could do in the entire area, and im wiped.

- ALSO, in regards to having house guests, I got to sleep in the same bed as Jenni last night. If any of you are lucky enough to sleep in the same bed as Jennifer, she is a lovely Snugglebug, and her body emits heat, which is nice if you get cold during the night.

- We ate a lot and drank even more this weekend, I attended 2 parties, and had the greatest labor day weekend ive had as long as I can remember.

- Made a decision about my ex. We have talked, but since I was so busy this weekend, I didnt have the chance to tell him that there was no way I was going to even consider getting back together with him unless he dumps his g/f. Thanks for all of your opinions.

- Finished all of my back to school shopping. I LOVE new school supplies.

School starts on Tuesday, I cant believe it. Im sure i'll have a lot to say. I like this time of year, I feel like its time to get back to my regular life.

10 Years have come and gone so fast...

I know I wasnt very clear about this whole "10 year ago ex" thing that I wrote about in my last post.

We broke up amicably, when I moved to Windsor the first time, in 1996, for my first year of University. We were going to see how things went, but he ended up sleeping with someone else about 3 weeks after I left, so, in all reality, it didnt go very well between us.

After my anger went away, we became friends, and hung out only 2 times, but saw eachother out a bunch of times. Of those 2 times we saw eachother....one was friendly, the other, a little more than friendly. So that was about 5 years ago....since then we have not seen eachother, but exchanged a couple of emails, and I have indeed blogged about him in the past, as someone...well...Whatev. Anyway, I wasnt clear when I explained. YES he was an ex from 10 years ago, But No, this is not the first time we have talked in 10 years. We are friends. And he's a great guy.

We talked the other night...in great depth about the possibility of maybe starting something again. He sat there, on the other end of the phone, and I asked him what it was that made him constantly come back to me, and why I always felt comfortable going back to him....and he said that maybe, sometimes, people have such a good strong connection, that the connection, never goes away. I dont know. All of my exes are quite jerky. Except him...he's the only one I managed to remain great friends with.

And with his ideas about the connection lasting through out the years, I remembered that I really cared about this guy, a LOT. And if we were to get back together, would it be just like old times? In a situation like this, we were great together, and we could be great again. So I asked myself, how I really felt, and I thought about it, and wondered that maybe there really are people out there, who are just pieces of you...that complete who you are. Ash is one, Jenni is one, LD is one, H, H, T, M, D, B, A, N are all one peice each, and this guy is one.

No matter what path he travels, it always winds up coming back to me. I'm not trying to be conceited, but he always manages to find his way here....and when that happens, i'm always more than happy to have him back.

However, this time, he's got a girlfriend....And that confuses me, because if I am really who he wants to be with, why didnt he see that 5 years ago, when we hung out....10 years ago when we dated...Why havent ANY of the guys ive dated noticed that, until we break up, and then they call me crying about how breaking up was the stupidest decision they ever made, and the biggest mistake of their life.

Ive been very confused about this situation...and In all reality, every piece of me wants to see, but then i realize that he has a girlfriend, and I dont even want a part of it....

Blogger Confessional© Musical Melodies and Homes on Wheels

I dont remember everything that happened this week. Im going to be perfectly honest.

- I went hiking with my neices, and they cried the entire time....They saw spiders, they screamed. They saw bees, they hid. They thought we were lost, they wanted to throw up. It was entertaining enough that I would take them again...if I could get them to go without crying.

- Even though I have ever played poker 4 times in my entire life, I'dlike to announce, that I won a game. I am the greatest champion of the world!!! I played with 4 people who kick ass at poker. And I'd like to say that I am undeniably impressed with myself.

- I wish that I had someone with me all week, everywhere I went to verify that this actually happened, but every single building I went into this week, that had music over the PA system, had the song Downtown, playing. I was going to blog about it, but forgot, until I was watching Big Brother tonight, and there was a commercial, with the song Downtown, playing in the background. Quel Surpise!! I think, from Sunday to Sunday, I heard this song, about 35 times....I wish I was joking.

- I got gas in my car today, and infront of me, was a trailer home, as big as a tour bus. It was gigantic...so the guy gassing his monstrosity up, noticed me looking at it, and said "Its a big on eh?"....I laughed and said that it was, and that I didnt know mobile homes were made that big. I said that i'd never even seen one this close before. And at that, he called his wife over, and honestly said "Bring this youngin inside..she wants a tour". I didnt want a tour, but I was definitely not going to say no to taking a peek. It was a trailer on wheels...it was huge inside, and actually, If I was ever forced to have to be in one of those for a long period of time, I figured it wouldnt be so bad...as long as you had someone else to hang out with, besides the driver.

Hope you all had a good weekend.

**UPDATE: My ex, from TEN years ago, called me just at 9pm tonight, and said that he misses me, and wants to be with me. After 10 years...i am left sitting here, with too many thoughts swirling.

A Day of Immigration Fun!!

So I went over the border today to get my visa all sorted out for school. It starts in 13 days...I cant believe it. I pull up to the bridge, its packed, and takes 25 minutes to even get to a customs officer. I park my car at customs, and go in. Its more packed than the bridge was. Im all for uping security, but this was insanity. It was me, and about 100 other people.

However, there were a few mentionable moments that helped pass the hour and 39 minutes that I was waiting.

1. Little kids running, and doing cartwheels inbetween the hordes of people, and their parents screaming at them...and then the kids crying.
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2. A guy, sitting beside me sees the paperwork that I have, and says "Teachers college...me too." I'm looking the other way, vaugely recognize that someone is trying to communicate with me, so I turn to him and say "Huh?" becuase I wasnt paying attention, as I dont usually try to meet people at US customs and immigration.

He says "you're getting your visa...for school (he points at what im holding, and says) Me too. Im James". Turns out we're in the same class for teachers college, so he asked for my email address. Whatev, it wont be so bad knowing one person on the first day.
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3. A group of German travelers are sitting across from me and James while we talked. The entire time, they were whispering pointing at us, and nodding approvingly. He noticed and said "those people are staring at us...". (He's just like me Ash!!! LOL.)

Anyway, after about 40 minutes of them looking, and James, at this point, was gone, im sitting there, with my sunglasses on. I am not in the habit of wearing sunglasses inside, but it was really sunny in that room, and I was sitting right by the window, so I felt justified.

As im waiting to pay my processing fees, this group of German Adventurists moves really close to where I was now standing by the cashier. One guy, probably close to my age, turns to me and..well...this is what happens.

German: You har in dat mofie?
Me: What???
German You har in dat mofie?
Me: What movie???
German: You har dat mofie star?
At which point I BURST out laughing...I couldnt help it...His accent was ridiculously cute.
Me: Uhh...No.
German: Dat man ask you...ummm...sign???? (and then proceeds to act out writing, with his finger as a pen on the palm of his hand...and I assume that this is what he meant)
Me: Autograph??
German: YES!! YES!!! autograph. He gettem you autograph?
Me: (laughing, and wiping the tears out of my eyes, having removed my sunglasses) No, we go to school together. He asked for my email. (I wasnt sure if he understood what I meant, but then he said)
German: No Autograph? (he puts his hand out and moves it horizontally back and forth, and smiles..he was a total cutie)
Me: No Autograph
German: Not Mofie? (pointing at me)
Me: No Movie
German: (looking totally embarassed) I Sorry. (and then he walked away)

I watched him as he walked back to his group, shaking his head. Their smiles disappeared, and that was the end of it. But I couldnt help but wonder, who they thought I might have been.

Thoughts...

See, heres the thing. I dont get how like 12 year olds have expensive expensive accessories. Coach bags, Armani sunglesses, Tiffany jewelry, Louis Vuitton purses....

See, I have those things. I do, I wont lie. *exept i dont like Louis Vuitton, i think the design is hideous*....And the thing about my accessories is, I hate knock offs. I do, I hate them. I dont own a knock off, and will never own a knock off. If I want the original bad enough, i'll save up, and buy it myself, or ask for it for christmas/birthday.

However, what does a 12 year old need with a 300 dollar purse? Theyve only got one thing to put inside of it anyway. Cell phones. A 12 year old with an expensive purse...and a cell phone. I dont see how this can say anything good about our society.

Kids are too fucking spolied. Thats what it comes down to. Expensive clothes, cell phones, whining and temper tantrums, designer shoes and accessories. I dont know if im just getting older and hate everyone under the age of 20....or if its a generational thing. I wonder if when I was 18, 28 year olds looked at our age group, and thought the same thing....

The Countdown is On

There are 44 days left until I cut 12 inches off my hair and donate it to Locks of Love.

There are 19 days until I start my Masters...

And while we're at it...445 days until i'm 30.

I'm anxious about all three.

Toronto Shenanigans

Me and Miss Ash had the same weekend. No point in reading it twice. She's written about the nicer bits of our weekend. I've written about what a bitch I am.
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We head to "T dot", to attend some events that we were invited to, as we are very popular (haha). We hit Jenni's neighborhood, notice that a movie is being filmed, ditch our stuff, and go check it out. I see this guy.

Jennifer's got this carty thing loaded with all the BBQ stuff we could ever need (minus the buns) and we're on our way to the ferry docks. At the streetcar, these 2 "posh" bitches, are there, complaining they wont get a seat because of all the people and proceed to point infront of Jennifer and say, "get ahead of THAT girl".

**DISCLAIMER: As a general rule, we're not really particularily mean people. Okay, umm, hm...well, we're mean, but we're only quasi mean, which doesnt make us mean at all...it makes us assertive, and straight forward, but I digress.

The street car miraculously stops directly in front of where we were standing, which never happens. Jenni makes a b-line to the door, I help her lift up that carty thing, and the one "posh bitch" is rubbing her tits on my arm trying to get into the street car. And since I dont particularily like being jostled by anyone, I look at her, and say "I cant GO any faster". Which i'm sure, didnt come out in my nicest tone.

We sit down inside, and Miss Ash sits in front of me giggling, that she also told these women off. And said something to the effect of "Is it really going to fucking matter if you have to stand?"
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On the ferry on the way back, my friends are playing this charades type game. I dont really like games, so I wasnt playing. This random quasi-hottie jumps in, and wants a turn. He had a can of "Bud" in each hand, and when "S" hands him the thing to join in, he put the beer cans in his pockets. Ugh...trash.

Its random's turn and he starts pointing to his friend. I know I wasnt playing, but couldn't help but yell out "Alpha Male" (we laugh, out loud) and when that was wrong, I yell out "Frat Boy" (we laugh again). Wrong again....he was trying to act out "Beside" Hm...Whatev.
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I think I broke my baby toe today (actually I call them piggies, but you guys dont know that about me)...it hurts, and its so fat that i put my sandals on, and it was squashed in there. So if I had an excuse to not do anything before I hurt my piggy, i have an even better one now.

Crap, my life's boring...

Ugh...you know, for the past like few days, i've been sitting here, trying to think of something to write about, and as far as my days go, they're uneventful...aside from the drinking and going out bits....and of course spending time with my most amazing friends.

Im trying to remember what happened this week, and all I can think of is:

- I got new earrings...i had the same gold hoops in for 14 years, and finally decided to ditch them and get something new. But because the ones I had were so little, I forgot they existed...But I bought new ones today, and becuase theyre a thicker gauge than my old ones, i had to jab them through....ouch.

- I tanned....

- I drank

- I tanned some more....im starting to get dark. It looks nice.

- I went out

- I keep getting phone calls from this guy "Steve". I have ZERO idea who steve is...but he calls me almost everyday, and leaves messages on my cell phone. I was out for dinner with "N", last friday, after Miss Ash's Cricket scare, and he called me then, I was talking to him, N asks me who it was, and I looked at him and mouthed "i have NO idea"...but he hasnt stopped calling.

- I doubt I got that job that I had the interview for...they havent called me back, but they asked to keep my presentation...which makes me think that they stole my ideas, and since they have those, why bother getting me to run the groups that I created...assholes.

- oh oh...I Went to a dinner party with a bunch of girls I went to highschool with. We all hung out in highschool, and one of them now lives in france and comes home once a year, so we all hung out...i did too many shots of tequila.

**Allow me to say, in defence of myself, that I know it sounds like i'm turning into an alcoholic, but really, I do drink in moderation. Just because I drink almost everday, doesnt mean that I get drunk..it means that I have a couple...or more.

Me and Miss Ash are off to toronto tomorrow until sunday night....we have some events to attend....at least that will make for a good post. You know, usually im laughing about something during the week, with my friends saying "haha..that would make a good blog"...and then I sit down at my comptuer, and i have already totally forgotten what was so funny to begin with. Thats whats happened to my brain this summer, i've become a forgetful drinker who tans too much....

Blogger Confessional© A treasure from the Vault of the Unhinged Princess

My interview went okay *and of course it doesnt hurt that I know the CEO personally* but we'll see. However, After the interview, I came home and of course everyone asked about it, and started to giggle about some of the interviews I have had in the past. And if you think you've had bad interviews, well...let me just say this.

I had an interview at Family and Children Services. It was winter, and very snowy. My interview was at....2. (had to think for a minute. This is important for the story)

So for this interview at FACS, I had to do an intake call from the cops, write an essay, and answer questions. Totalling an hour and a half. (This is common in social services, they want to see how you work under pressure)

Just after 3, they sit me in a room to write my essay, and close the door. Over the loud speaker, the intercom comes on and says "due to the snowstorm, the building will be closing at 3:30". Perfect. Ive got just enough time to get this done....

So I wrote my essay, and read it over a couple of times, and im sitting there....and think for SURE that it's 3:30. So I grab my stuff, and get up to go back out to where I was in the main foyer, so that the receptionist can call the people and I can give them my stuff, and leave.

Except when you walk out of one area, the doors lock automatically behind you, and when I get out to the main area, the receptionist is gone, and it's 3:25. I know the buiding isnt closing for another 5 minutes, and im like "fucking bitch..she left early"...so I grab the house phone, and call my mom. I dont know why. I finish telling her everything, and she says "Uhhh...PP, Its 4:30, not 3:30." Problem is, I looked so fast at the clock, that I didnt notice the hour. And the building had closed at 3:30.....everyone was gone, and I was locked in. *ya ya...laugh it up*

I hang up, and call the crisis center where I worked, and asked for the number of one of the girls I worked with because she also had an interview, and I couldnt remember the names of the people who were interviewing me...but she wasnt home.

So im like stuck in this building, and I have no idea what to do.....so I pick up the house phone again, and call FACS' after hours line, for the crisis response team. So I get someone and explain my situation, and she's like "Uhhh...okay...oh my god".....shes got me on hold, and i just happen to look up, and the guy who interviewed me happens to be walking by on the other side of a door with a window. He sees me out of the corner of his eye, and comes back, and comes out and says "what are you doing here?" And I say "YEAH...here's my essay" And a look of horrid recognition comes over his face and all he could say was "oh.....my....god. I'm SOOOO Sorry". I honestly say "get me the fuck out of here". At this point, I didnt care.

I find out the next day, that the CEO of the job that I already had, went to a conference at the FACS building the next morning, heard about me getting locked in the day before, found the guy who interviewed me, and ripped him a new asshole infront of his boss...

Needless to say, I didnt get the job.

Holding my breath for the weekend...

Aside from the hig points of the week (drinking and going out almost everynight) , this week has been highly uneventful.

Its been so hot this week, over 100 for 2 days, that I thought my skin was going to melt right off of my body.

I managed to secure myself an interview for tomorrow.....I dont want to work, but living like a rockstar, is, shockingly, starting to get boring.....I didnt want to have a job, but I find that since all my friends are working, its rare that they want to go out during the week, because they all have to get up so early. I can usually get different people to go out different nights of the week, but we're still done all of our drinking by midnight.

So ya....job interview. Its all good though, i miss my field. And considering how easily I get bored, this will give me something to do.

I literally almost got in 4 car accidents today, all with in an hour and a half, and when I decided to go shopping, I almost got into a fight with some 18 year old. And when I went in to one store, there was a kid having a full out tantrum on the floor, complete with kicking and screaming. When I gave her the slit eye, she noticed, and thought that it was really funny, so for the remainder of my time in the store, she would run up to me, poke me on the leg and giggle and run away. So, controlling my temptation to slap the shit out of her, I left.

I ran into Miss Ash's mom, while I was out, and then went to LD's to watch Big Brother.

I just got home, and have yet to prepare myself for my interview tomorrow....it should be easy enough though, I only have to facilitate a 10 minute group session on Anger Management. Piece of cake....You know, in all honesty, figuring out what to wear is what I stress about the most in these situations. I could care less if I get this job. I'm almost positive it's full time, and once September comes, I have class 2 days a week, so would have to quit anyway, unless they're about to pay me an obscene amount of money...which in social services...i'm not holding my breath.

Wish me luck.

Blogger Confessional© Deep Thoughts on 5 Dates

This week consisted again, of drinking, and going out almost everynight. However, on Friday, we had some deep introspective conversation about the 5 date challenge that coincided with the events of the evening.

- Invited our quai-cute waiter to sit down with us and have a few drinks after he was done work. He actually did, and we ended up doing many shots, plus all the martinis I drank...not to mention the drinking I did the rest of the day. So our waiter sits down with us, and starts going on about how he was raised at a race track *his dad was a jockey*, how his brother sliced his skull open...twice, how he has a bucket of phone numbers of girls he will never call, how he has three beer store phone numbers programmed into his cell phone, how the first thing beside his bed is a bottle of tequila, and how he's almost 21. 21!!!! Oh god. Me and LD looked at eachother and gagged. And then he pulled out his switchblade, opened it up, and told us he carries it for protectoin. I cant imagine the look on my face....we left while he got up and went to the bathroom. *he was also sitting with staff at another table, so i didnt really care.*

Through out the course of the night, sitting with this guy, Dave, "T" pointed out that this guy should count as a date becuase I asked a strange guy to sit with us, AND he bought shots. Me and LD burst out laughing, and say that it does count as one out of the 5 date challenge, and we call Miss Ash, in tears saying LD - 1, PP - 1, Miss Ash - 0.

We werent really counting him as a date, and laughed about how funny it was. And at the end of the night, I confessed that I would never date him anyway, as he was very bizzare. But we thought it was funny. Although, at this point we agreed that there needs to be some sort of breakdown, rule wise.

I would post them, but miss ash would disagree with them, she wants to change the year to 4 months....me and my friends arent daters. We dont date, and every relationship we've been in never started with a total stranger and the phrase "would you like to go for a ....... sometime?" At least, none of mine have. I'll tell you right now, in 4 months, I wont have one date. I'll hook up with someone, but I wont date them. But I digress.

Walking back to the car at the end of the night, I was, surprisingly, not drunk, and I looked at LD, and said "How is this our life?"....the best nights, are when she cant even answer, and she just shakes her head, becuase she has no idea either.

Although, on the way home, we did agree that "Dave" solidifies the reason that we dont usually meet new people. Dave is the epitomy of why I dont want to meet new people. The guy carries a switchblade for fucks sake, and he looked like John Travoltas friends in Grease. Ive never seen West Side Story...but I imagine that Dave would have fit right in....minus the singing.